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Post by purewrestlingrocco on Aug 15, 2018 3:04:08 GMT -5
Greetings!
I'm new here and I just put up my character's bio and debut promo. All I ask is for honest (but constructive) feedback on my promo and I'm looking for my character's first opponent.
Thanks guys!
Peace out, purewrestlingrocco
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2018 10:55:23 GMT -5
Pros: You made sure every word counted, and you made your statement clear. Everyone now has a clear grasp of who you are and why you're here.
Cons: It was very short, which isn't always bad, but you have a 4k cap to work with when you face someone. I know this isn't a competitive RP, which is fine, but a bit more detail could do you some favors. Some story about who your character is, maybe some backstory about his past or the story behind how he got his AW contract. One other thing is that you could've shot more on the roster itself. Let us know which division you plan on starting at. Who you wanna go after.
Overall though, I like the way you worded everything, and I think, if you set your mind to it, and put it all into fruition, you can bring a lot to Action Wrestling.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2018 10:58:20 GMT -5
One more thing. You can always write a segment for this week's Clash, and make your presence known! Segments help give your character added momentum and helps tell the bookers where you want to be in the card. Just be realistic about it, and they'll be willing to work with you. Also, if you do write a segment, make sure to send it to the Action Reel account. That's the account that the show gets posted on.
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Post by Roy Speede on Aug 15, 2018 13:33:57 GMT -5
You've got a lot of potential, like L said. Good starting spot; use it to build and develop.
One more thought to offer: may want to tweak your entrance a bit; we don't do entrance videos- and not mtchwriters will just copy and paste the text,with most not bothering to go back and check what "the song" is, much less play it so w eknow what happens at "X number of seconds". A good example I like to make is Zombie McMorris.
He uses the fans as a tool, having them sing the lyrics so we know where he's at in the song. Another example is Kevin Bishop
His focus on the opening Bass gives us a feel as readers what we're experiencing without having to look up the song. He lists the title and artist clearly at the start of one of his paragraphs, and although he says "the chorus of the song", it's not relying on a certain video or audio recording timing-wise, and because he's already listed it once I can assume it's the same song.
Sorry to give you a wall to read, but I hope it helps!
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Post by Beau Del Sol on Aug 16, 2018 10:30:10 GMT -5
I think your headed in the right direction.
1. More depth (Includes CD)
2. Length
3. Tell a story.
I think your headed in the right direction!
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Dionysus
Professional Wrestler
Contains 50% Fruit Juice
Posts: 582
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Post by Dionysus on Aug 16, 2018 13:08:24 GMT -5
Greetings! I'm new here and I just put up my character's bio and debut promo. All I ask is for honest (but constructive) feedback on my promo and I'm looking for my character's first opponent. Thanks guys! Peace out, purewrestlingrocco I’d be happy to look over the RP and see what I can provide.
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