Grumble Grumble Time For a Rumble
May 22, 2024 12:29:48 GMT -5
“The Saint” Johnny Eden and Addy A like this
Post by Muru on May 22, 2024 12:29:48 GMT -5
Havoc is almost upon us. There's a certain excitement in the air. It's the kind of feeling that only comes once a year. I'd call it Christmas, but I think that is more comparable to Evolution. So I guess we'll consider Havoc the Thanksgiving of Action Wrestling.
So if Havoc is Thanksgiving, I guess I should tell you all what I'm grateful for. The first thing is that Action Wrestling gave me a second chance. They took a shot on me when there weren't a lot of offers coming in. There weren't any offers coming in.
I've done everything in my power to be the best I can be from that moment. I might not be what I once was, but I think I've been pretty good. It's definitely been an up and down ride. In a short period of time I was able to get close to the top. I might have failed, but I haven't given up.
I can't…
Sure I haven't exactly gotten the top matches since I was pinned by Gerard Angelo, but that's ok. I'm not considered a top guy. It's nice just to be a guy. Some would say that's a defeatist attitude. I'm just being realistic. I'm happy that I get to go out there every week and do what I love.
Entertain the fans.
The fans are what I'm most thankful for. Without them I wouldn't be where I am today. Where I am today is in a pretty good place. I'm going to be entering the Havoc Rumble with another chance to face Gerard Angelo. Hopefully if I win the Rumble, I'll get the shot I thought I was getting all along.
A one on one shot.
It's going to be an amazing event filled with the best of the best of wrestling. The Action Wrestling roster is stacked. Once you factor in debuts and surprises, there's no way of knowing what's going to happen. I know one thing though, I'm going to do my best.
It really is going to feel like Thanksgiving, with most of the Action Wrestling roster being a part of things. When you add in the unexpected, there's sure to be drama. It's sure to be just like the holiday, minus your drunk uncle's politically incorrect opinions.
I can't wait to see everyone.
How patient is a man supposed to be?
This is the question Muru has been asking himself lately. He has been pursuing Emma the past couple of months, and there's been nothing to update. It's still the same text messaging, with an occasional phone call. It's become the status quo.
It's frustrating. She missed his big match at Blast because she wasn't ready. For his birthday she didn't think the timing was good. It's starting to be all about her feelings.
…Maybe it always has been
With another big moment in his career Renaissance upcoming, this has to be taken care of. At this point he feels like he's being led on.
Muru has taken the trip to Calgary, to give her an ultimatum. She either goes on a date with him or he's done waiting.
…I'm nobody's fool
He walks up to the door of the restaurant where Emma works and opens it forcefully. The patrons trying to enjoy their meal look at him. He doesn't care. He only cares that one person knows he's there.
Emma: What are you doing here?
Muru: I came to see you. I've tried to wait, but I can't do it anymore. I had to see you.
Emma: We talked about this…
Muru: No, you talked and I listened. It doesn't mean I agree.
Emma: This isn't the place for this. I'm at work.
Muru: I know. I just have one question for you.
She seems annoyed at the situation. Muru was hoping this would be seen as romantic.
Muru: Emma, will you please do me the honor of taking you out on a date?
The restaurant has come to a standstill. They are invested in what she'll say.
Emma: I don't appreciate you putting me on the spot. You're embarrassing me.
Muru: I'm not trying to do that. I just really like you and I want us to take the next step. So please will you…
Emma: No…
Muru: No?
She shakes her head at him.
Emma: You came here when you know how I felt. It shows you don't respect me. I can't go out with someone like that. I was really starting to like you, in a couple more months I may have been ready.
Muru: A couple more months? Just tell me the truth. You weren't ever planning on going on a date with me were you?
Emma: Guess you'll never know.
He's starting to get angry now.
Muru: This is bullshit! Just so you know, you're not hot enough to be a tease. Plus I had a one night stand a couple weeks back so don't think you had any power over me.
These words are hurtful, as intended. Emma storms off with tears in her eyes.
Muru: Any other woman in this place would have said yes. Is there any woman in this restaurant who wants to go on a date with wrestling superstar Muru?
There's silence throughout the restaurant.
Muru: Yeah well it's your loss.
He continues causing a scene as a couple of cooks come from the back.
Muru: Are you guys supposed to be her white knights? She isn't going to fuck you…
The cooks pull out their special Canadian spatulas.
Muru: Bring it on you Bruce Hart loving assholes.
Suddenly a couple more cooks appear from the kitchen.
Muru: Too many cooks…
As the cooks move toward Muru, he has no choice but to make the greatest exit on earth.
I'm confident in my ability to win the Havoc Rumble. I know there aren't a whole lot of people who have the same confidence in me. There's a whole bunch of people who think I pissed away my shot. That I've already proved that I'll never be able to survive in a ring with the best of the best.
I guess everyone has forgotten about the battle royal I won. It must have slipped their minds. I guess I'll have to refresh everyone's memory. The last time I was in a ring filled with people, I did the unexpected.
I won!
It's what set me on my current trajectory. I could have lost that match and never got my chance with the top stars. I could be like a lot of the roster. I could have never gotten the chance to share a ring with guys like Teo Blaze or Gerard Angelo.
The truth is, I've already accomplished more than people who have been here a lot longer than I have. Sure they might have gold around their waist. There's a fair share of championships to go around. The thing is, none of them are the World Heavyweight Championship. They are nothing more than consolation prizes.
So when the roster says things like, Muru is a failure, I know it comes from a place of jealousy. There are a lot of people who would trade places with me if given the chance. They don't know what it's like to be me. They couldn't handle it.
I'm a professional wrestler. I've given my all to this business. I don't think that can be said for everyone else. It seems like a lot of people claim to be professional wrestlers, but it's something they dabble in on the side.
The roster is filled with all sorts who don't put wrestling first. We have current and former athletes. I never played other sports, it was always about professional wrestling. We have mythical creatures and clowns. Those are things best suited for the movies. Even our champion isn't just a wrestler.
I know what I am. I don't pretend to be something else.
You might call Muru boring. You might say all he does is hang out with his cousin and train for his next match. You might not care that I was lookin for love. I'm sorry you feel that way. Am I supposed to live a life of unrealistic adventure? Where do you all find the time to wrestle and be the main character in your own stories?
In the real world none of us are the main character.
You can all keep living in your fantasy worlds. You can all keep thinking the world revolves around whatever daydream you'd rather be a part of. This isn't a medieval storybook, or science fiction thriller you see on the big screen.
This is professional wrestling.
I'm a professional wrestler.
That's why I know I can win.
It's been a long time since Muru has been to Las Vegas. It used to be one of his favorite places to go to just get away. This trip there isn't much time for fun and games. This trip is about business.
That being said, Muru has stopped by to see an old friend. A man he met years ago, Hungry Jack Swanson.
Vegas is where he calls home. The competitive eater turned wrestler had a short but decent career. He mostly used his 6’6” and 400 lb frame to manhandle people. It was never going to get him to the top, but he didn't care. He got to travel and try new foods. That itself was worth it.
The two men sit outside Jack's house catching up. Each man with a beer in their hand.
Hungry Jack: It's good to see you bro. It's been too long.
Muru: I know. I don't get out here like I used to. Plus I thought I'd change it up.
Hungry Jack: How so?
Muru: I can't just talk to Ryan all the time. I've got friends.
Hungry Jack: How's he doing?
Muru: He's getting by. He doesn't really talk about what happened.
Hungry Jack: I've tried reaching out but he never gets back to me.
Muru Keep trying.
Jack finishes his beer and fetches a couple more.
Hungry Jack: So you're in town for Havoc? That should be fun.
Muru: As fun as that many men and women beating the crap out of each other can be. Everyone is going to be putting their best foot forward trying to claim the prize.
Hungry Jack: They should be glad I'm not in the match, or am I? Throwing Hungry Jack out would be no easy task.
Muru: Action Wrestling has a couple behemoths that could give you a fight. It'd be like those giant monster fights. King Kong versus Godzilla.
Hungry Jack: King Kong ain't got nothing on me!
Muru stares at him.
Muru: Where did you steal that from?
Hungry Jack: I don't remember.
Muru: Do you have any advice for me?
Hungry Jack: You've done this a lot longer than me. Just stay true to yourself. Don't let your guard down. Most importantly, stay off the top rope. It makes it too easy to get eliminated.
Muru: Maybe I should just curl up in a ball on the mat and grip the ropes with all my might.
Hungry Jack: That's not really your style.
Muru: True. If I'm going to crash and burn it's going to be on my terms.
Hungry Jack: I said stay off the top rope!
I said that Havoc is Thanksgiving, but maybe it IS Christmas. It feels like it with this list of wrestlers I have to go through. I'm not Santa Claus, I'm not picking out who's naughty or nice. I know a couple who are naughty for sure.
Let's get started shall we.
Jonny Cedrone how unfortunate for you to be number one. Normally this would be a good thing, but not in the Rumble. You could have made things much easier for yourself but you fell short. I get that. It's all people know me for lately. I won't give you too much grief because with my luck I'll be number two.
It won't be because I'm the shit. They'll say Muru is shit. Get him out fast.
When it comes to Karlie Nash I think the smartest thing someone could do is hire a bunch of aging, down on their luck actresses nobody cares about. If you scatter them around the ring, Karlie will eliminate herself. She'll fall all over herself trying to get a taste of that seventies shag carpet.
You better pay attention if you want to see it. The replays will cut that part and you'll only be left with the memories. They can't take that away from you.
Mystery Entrant #1 is a great get for this match. I can't believe I get to possibly share the ring with such a legend. What will people say if I eliminate them?
There are a lot of champions in this match. All of them with a chance to double up on gold. In the case of DRAUGR, triple up. I still remember when he almost ended my Action Wrestling career before it started. Good times! I even thought maybe Lexi has a crush on me.
If she does…Muru is ok with that!
I know I said all other titles compared to the World Heavyweight Championship were consolation prizes. The people holding them? They aren't. I don't want to go one on one with Sicko. That guy isn't right and I don't need him messing up what I've got going. The same with Addy A, she doesn't seem to be right in the head.
A common theme for the women of Action Wrestling.
I don't want to share a ring with Addy. She scares me. Jessie Lee scares me. I'm a grown man. I shouldn't be afraid of women. But like I said, these ladies ain't right. Do they think of themselves as ladies? Does it matter? Does it turn me on? I mean obviously it doesn’t because Muru is a pure and wholesome wrestler.
I know Vespertine probably wouldn't claim to be a lady. I've heard her and others call her basically everything opposite of that. Rumor has it that Thon Maker is no longer with the company because he looked at Ves and got a nasty disease.
What would have happened if he touched her? I shudder at the thought.
I can't believe Mystery Entrant #2 is in the Rumble! I thought we'd never see them again. Looks like some people don't know when to retire!
Two men I feel that are in the same boat as me are Teo Blaze and Odin Balfore. I might have taken the pinfall but we were all losers that day. I have to admit you two are the ones I want to win the Rumble least. Now I understand how people feel about me.
There are so many people in this match I don't know much about. Sara Pettis, Zombie something, a blonde chick, Jacob Keurig. Wait he sent Super Mario packing right? Who else, Jensen Ackles from Supernatural. He's probably hunting The Green. The city of Nairobi will be in the house.
What could top all that talent?
Holy smokes! It's Mystery Entrant #3 and #5. I don't care much for #4 so they can get lost! I had a feeling these people might show up so I've been preparing for them. I can't wait to toss them over the top rope.
TJ Alexander and Jaice Wilds, I've already proven I can beat them. Sure I had some help from Johnny Eden. That kid is going places, just not on to Evolution to face Gerard Angelo. You've got plenty of time kid. If it comes down to you and me, what do you say you let me have this?
I didn't think so.
I'm running out of time and words so I want to apologize to anyone I missed. I meant no disrespect. Unless you deserve disrespect, then I totally meant it.
I need to address the man with the best chance of winning the whole thing. Doc, you worked hard to put yourself in this situation. There's a great chance you'll be the one taking on Angelo. I just hope to still be in the ring when your music hits.
Win or lose. Don't let this define you. Find other opportunities, or make your own.
Is anyone else getting anxious? It can't just be me right? When I signed with Action Wrestling, I thought it would take awhile to get my footing. I didn't know I would get a taste of what it's like to main event so soon. Now it lingers in my mouth like how Susan Sarandon probably lingers on Karlie's. That's the last joke on that, I promise.
I'm going to give it all I have come Havoc. If you want to stop me you'll have to do the same. If you're coming in with some half effort or false beliefs that you're good enough. It won't get the job done.
My name is Muru. I'm a wrestler. Remember that.
Good luck from the Greatest Show on Earth.
So if Havoc is Thanksgiving, I guess I should tell you all what I'm grateful for. The first thing is that Action Wrestling gave me a second chance. They took a shot on me when there weren't a lot of offers coming in. There weren't any offers coming in.
I've done everything in my power to be the best I can be from that moment. I might not be what I once was, but I think I've been pretty good. It's definitely been an up and down ride. In a short period of time I was able to get close to the top. I might have failed, but I haven't given up.
I can't…
Sure I haven't exactly gotten the top matches since I was pinned by Gerard Angelo, but that's ok. I'm not considered a top guy. It's nice just to be a guy. Some would say that's a defeatist attitude. I'm just being realistic. I'm happy that I get to go out there every week and do what I love.
Entertain the fans.
The fans are what I'm most thankful for. Without them I wouldn't be where I am today. Where I am today is in a pretty good place. I'm going to be entering the Havoc Rumble with another chance to face Gerard Angelo. Hopefully if I win the Rumble, I'll get the shot I thought I was getting all along.
A one on one shot.
It's going to be an amazing event filled with the best of the best of wrestling. The Action Wrestling roster is stacked. Once you factor in debuts and surprises, there's no way of knowing what's going to happen. I know one thing though, I'm going to do my best.
It really is going to feel like Thanksgiving, with most of the Action Wrestling roster being a part of things. When you add in the unexpected, there's sure to be drama. It's sure to be just like the holiday, minus your drunk uncle's politically incorrect opinions.
I can't wait to see everyone.
How patient is a man supposed to be?
This is the question Muru has been asking himself lately. He has been pursuing Emma the past couple of months, and there's been nothing to update. It's still the same text messaging, with an occasional phone call. It's become the status quo.
It's frustrating. She missed his big match at Blast because she wasn't ready. For his birthday she didn't think the timing was good. It's starting to be all about her feelings.
…Maybe it always has been
With another big moment in his career Renaissance upcoming, this has to be taken care of. At this point he feels like he's being led on.
Muru has taken the trip to Calgary, to give her an ultimatum. She either goes on a date with him or he's done waiting.
…I'm nobody's fool
He walks up to the door of the restaurant where Emma works and opens it forcefully. The patrons trying to enjoy their meal look at him. He doesn't care. He only cares that one person knows he's there.
Emma: What are you doing here?
Muru: I came to see you. I've tried to wait, but I can't do it anymore. I had to see you.
Emma: We talked about this…
Muru: No, you talked and I listened. It doesn't mean I agree.
Emma: This isn't the place for this. I'm at work.
Muru: I know. I just have one question for you.
She seems annoyed at the situation. Muru was hoping this would be seen as romantic.
Muru: Emma, will you please do me the honor of taking you out on a date?
The restaurant has come to a standstill. They are invested in what she'll say.
Emma: I don't appreciate you putting me on the spot. You're embarrassing me.
Muru: I'm not trying to do that. I just really like you and I want us to take the next step. So please will you…
Emma: No…
Muru: No?
She shakes her head at him.
Emma: You came here when you know how I felt. It shows you don't respect me. I can't go out with someone like that. I was really starting to like you, in a couple more months I may have been ready.
Muru: A couple more months? Just tell me the truth. You weren't ever planning on going on a date with me were you?
Emma: Guess you'll never know.
He's starting to get angry now.
Muru: This is bullshit! Just so you know, you're not hot enough to be a tease. Plus I had a one night stand a couple weeks back so don't think you had any power over me.
These words are hurtful, as intended. Emma storms off with tears in her eyes.
Muru: Any other woman in this place would have said yes. Is there any woman in this restaurant who wants to go on a date with wrestling superstar Muru?
There's silence throughout the restaurant.
Muru: Yeah well it's your loss.
He continues causing a scene as a couple of cooks come from the back.
Muru: Are you guys supposed to be her white knights? She isn't going to fuck you…
The cooks pull out their special Canadian spatulas.
Muru: Bring it on you Bruce Hart loving assholes.
Suddenly a couple more cooks appear from the kitchen.
Muru: Too many cooks…
As the cooks move toward Muru, he has no choice but to make the greatest exit on earth.
I'm confident in my ability to win the Havoc Rumble. I know there aren't a whole lot of people who have the same confidence in me. There's a whole bunch of people who think I pissed away my shot. That I've already proved that I'll never be able to survive in a ring with the best of the best.
I guess everyone has forgotten about the battle royal I won. It must have slipped their minds. I guess I'll have to refresh everyone's memory. The last time I was in a ring filled with people, I did the unexpected.
I won!
It's what set me on my current trajectory. I could have lost that match and never got my chance with the top stars. I could be like a lot of the roster. I could have never gotten the chance to share a ring with guys like Teo Blaze or Gerard Angelo.
The truth is, I've already accomplished more than people who have been here a lot longer than I have. Sure they might have gold around their waist. There's a fair share of championships to go around. The thing is, none of them are the World Heavyweight Championship. They are nothing more than consolation prizes.
So when the roster says things like, Muru is a failure, I know it comes from a place of jealousy. There are a lot of people who would trade places with me if given the chance. They don't know what it's like to be me. They couldn't handle it.
I'm a professional wrestler. I've given my all to this business. I don't think that can be said for everyone else. It seems like a lot of people claim to be professional wrestlers, but it's something they dabble in on the side.
The roster is filled with all sorts who don't put wrestling first. We have current and former athletes. I never played other sports, it was always about professional wrestling. We have mythical creatures and clowns. Those are things best suited for the movies. Even our champion isn't just a wrestler.
I know what I am. I don't pretend to be something else.
You might call Muru boring. You might say all he does is hang out with his cousin and train for his next match. You might not care that I was lookin for love. I'm sorry you feel that way. Am I supposed to live a life of unrealistic adventure? Where do you all find the time to wrestle and be the main character in your own stories?
In the real world none of us are the main character.
You can all keep living in your fantasy worlds. You can all keep thinking the world revolves around whatever daydream you'd rather be a part of. This isn't a medieval storybook, or science fiction thriller you see on the big screen.
This is professional wrestling.
I'm a professional wrestler.
That's why I know I can win.
It's been a long time since Muru has been to Las Vegas. It used to be one of his favorite places to go to just get away. This trip there isn't much time for fun and games. This trip is about business.
That being said, Muru has stopped by to see an old friend. A man he met years ago, Hungry Jack Swanson.
Vegas is where he calls home. The competitive eater turned wrestler had a short but decent career. He mostly used his 6’6” and 400 lb frame to manhandle people. It was never going to get him to the top, but he didn't care. He got to travel and try new foods. That itself was worth it.
The two men sit outside Jack's house catching up. Each man with a beer in their hand.
Hungry Jack: It's good to see you bro. It's been too long.
Muru: I know. I don't get out here like I used to. Plus I thought I'd change it up.
Hungry Jack: How so?
Muru: I can't just talk to Ryan all the time. I've got friends.
Hungry Jack: How's he doing?
Muru: He's getting by. He doesn't really talk about what happened.
Hungry Jack: I've tried reaching out but he never gets back to me.
Muru Keep trying.
Jack finishes his beer and fetches a couple more.
Hungry Jack: So you're in town for Havoc? That should be fun.
Muru: As fun as that many men and women beating the crap out of each other can be. Everyone is going to be putting their best foot forward trying to claim the prize.
Hungry Jack: They should be glad I'm not in the match, or am I? Throwing Hungry Jack out would be no easy task.
Muru: Action Wrestling has a couple behemoths that could give you a fight. It'd be like those giant monster fights. King Kong versus Godzilla.
Hungry Jack: King Kong ain't got nothing on me!
Muru stares at him.
Muru: Where did you steal that from?
Hungry Jack: I don't remember.
Muru: Do you have any advice for me?
Hungry Jack: You've done this a lot longer than me. Just stay true to yourself. Don't let your guard down. Most importantly, stay off the top rope. It makes it too easy to get eliminated.
Muru: Maybe I should just curl up in a ball on the mat and grip the ropes with all my might.
Hungry Jack: That's not really your style.
Muru: True. If I'm going to crash and burn it's going to be on my terms.
Hungry Jack: I said stay off the top rope!
I said that Havoc is Thanksgiving, but maybe it IS Christmas. It feels like it with this list of wrestlers I have to go through. I'm not Santa Claus, I'm not picking out who's naughty or nice. I know a couple who are naughty for sure.
Let's get started shall we.
Jonny Cedrone how unfortunate for you to be number one. Normally this would be a good thing, but not in the Rumble. You could have made things much easier for yourself but you fell short. I get that. It's all people know me for lately. I won't give you too much grief because with my luck I'll be number two.
It won't be because I'm the shit. They'll say Muru is shit. Get him out fast.
When it comes to Karlie Nash I think the smartest thing someone could do is hire a bunch of aging, down on their luck actresses nobody cares about. If you scatter them around the ring, Karlie will eliminate herself. She'll fall all over herself trying to get a taste of that seventies shag carpet.
You better pay attention if you want to see it. The replays will cut that part and you'll only be left with the memories. They can't take that away from you.
Mystery Entrant #1 is a great get for this match. I can't believe I get to possibly share the ring with such a legend. What will people say if I eliminate them?
There are a lot of champions in this match. All of them with a chance to double up on gold. In the case of DRAUGR, triple up. I still remember when he almost ended my Action Wrestling career before it started. Good times! I even thought maybe Lexi has a crush on me.
If she does…Muru is ok with that!
I know I said all other titles compared to the World Heavyweight Championship were consolation prizes. The people holding them? They aren't. I don't want to go one on one with Sicko. That guy isn't right and I don't need him messing up what I've got going. The same with Addy A, she doesn't seem to be right in the head.
A common theme for the women of Action Wrestling.
I don't want to share a ring with Addy. She scares me. Jessie Lee scares me. I'm a grown man. I shouldn't be afraid of women. But like I said, these ladies ain't right. Do they think of themselves as ladies? Does it matter? Does it turn me on? I mean obviously it doesn’t because Muru is a pure and wholesome wrestler.
I know Vespertine probably wouldn't claim to be a lady. I've heard her and others call her basically everything opposite of that. Rumor has it that Thon Maker is no longer with the company because he looked at Ves and got a nasty disease.
What would have happened if he touched her? I shudder at the thought.
I can't believe Mystery Entrant #2 is in the Rumble! I thought we'd never see them again. Looks like some people don't know when to retire!
Two men I feel that are in the same boat as me are Teo Blaze and Odin Balfore. I might have taken the pinfall but we were all losers that day. I have to admit you two are the ones I want to win the Rumble least. Now I understand how people feel about me.
There are so many people in this match I don't know much about. Sara Pettis, Zombie something, a blonde chick, Jacob Keurig. Wait he sent Super Mario packing right? Who else, Jensen Ackles from Supernatural. He's probably hunting The Green. The city of Nairobi will be in the house.
What could top all that talent?
Holy smokes! It's Mystery Entrant #3 and #5. I don't care much for #4 so they can get lost! I had a feeling these people might show up so I've been preparing for them. I can't wait to toss them over the top rope.
TJ Alexander and Jaice Wilds, I've already proven I can beat them. Sure I had some help from Johnny Eden. That kid is going places, just not on to Evolution to face Gerard Angelo. You've got plenty of time kid. If it comes down to you and me, what do you say you let me have this?
I didn't think so.
I'm running out of time and words so I want to apologize to anyone I missed. I meant no disrespect. Unless you deserve disrespect, then I totally meant it.
I need to address the man with the best chance of winning the whole thing. Doc, you worked hard to put yourself in this situation. There's a great chance you'll be the one taking on Angelo. I just hope to still be in the ring when your music hits.
Win or lose. Don't let this define you. Find other opportunities, or make your own.
Is anyone else getting anxious? It can't just be me right? When I signed with Action Wrestling, I thought it would take awhile to get my footing. I didn't know I would get a taste of what it's like to main event so soon. Now it lingers in my mouth like how Susan Sarandon probably lingers on Karlie's. That's the last joke on that, I promise.
I'm going to give it all I have come Havoc. If you want to stop me you'll have to do the same. If you're coming in with some half effort or false beliefs that you're good enough. It won't get the job done.
My name is Muru. I'm a wrestler. Remember that.
Good luck from the Greatest Show on Earth.