Post by DRAUGR on Apr 5, 2024 21:06:58 GMT -5
Ø.Đ.Đ.₳ĐĐɎ “Seriously, does he fuck with that mask on?” giggled the salacious Adelaide Ainsworth. Her words were directed to towards Lexi, but her ‘fuck me’ eyes were squarely transfixed on the mighty DRAUGR. Sara Pettis steps between them, horrified. “Addy, come one! That's her grandfather!” “Allegedly,” Addy says without missing a beat. “How about I borrow him for a little… DNA test?” She winks at DRAUGR, but he is unphased by her advances. Instead, he grunts and turns away, returning to a very old edition of Grimms’ Fairy Tales. Lexi remains silent, mortified by what just took place. “Try not to listen to her, Lex,” Sara says as she puts her arm over her step-daughter's shoulders. “She's a bit of a slagger.” Addy's ears ring at the sound of that word and her heart grows three times the size. “You get me. You really get me. You know, Lexi. Your step-mum wasn't always a goody two shoes. There was this one trip we took to Mexico that--” Sara clears her throat very loudly and interrupts, “That's enough for story time. Lexi, why don't you head upstairs and bring down the surprise for Vik.” Lexi nods and heads upstairs to her grandfather's apartment. Oh, they're at Cold Bruise, but you could have probably guessed that. Anyway, with Lexi gone, Sara looks Addy dead in the eyes. “Cool it with that shit,” she says sternly. “She's just a kid.” Addy looks shocked. “A kid?! A fuckin’ kid, babe?! She's only two months younger than me!!” “Yeah, but…” Sara can't come up with the rest of that statement. “You know what I mean. She's young… in this business, I mean. I don't want her dragged into…” Lexi returns just in time with a cardboard box. “Dragged into… what?” She hands the box to Sara. Sara quickly changes the subject. “Vik, I got you something special. I ordered it a while back, and it finally arrived this morning. I know you were pretty bummed when yours got damaged at Holiday Bash so…” She hands him the box and he shakes it like it's Christmas morning. He feels around the edges of the box before tearing apart the tape. Packing peanuts go flying everywhere, and he finally sees the gift inside. “Go ahead,” Sara insists. “Try it on.” Addy's eyes widen and she licks her lips. “Yeeeaaah! Pop that top off, big boy!” “Addy!” Sara scolds her. The mighty DRAUGR sets the box down on the table and he removes his vintage Ash Ra Tempel tee shirt, revealing his XIII scar that Teo Blaze gave him in his Action Wrestling debut. He removes the gift from the box and puts it on, then turns to the trio of allies and there is a round of applause. Listen up, you sorry excuses for villains! On Monday, you're stepping into the ring with not just one, not two, but three forces to be reckoned with! You may think you're all big and bad and whatever, but you've never faced the most electrifying trio in Action Wrestling history! I'm talking about the Ozone Dynasty Duo, comprised of me… Lexi Sparkles, duh… and the NNNEEEWWW Action Wrestling United States Champion… the mighty DRAUGRRRR!!! Oh! Don't forget about our awesome partner! She is the dual Cruiserweight AND Television Champion! She is the woman, the myth, the legend! ADDY AAAAA!!!!! I've been a HUGE fan for so so so long! And now I get to team with her against a bunch of stinky jerks! Raja and the Keer Twins, you're going to have a BAD DAY when you tussle with us on Monday! Ooohhh! Just thinking about you fartfaces gets my blood boiling! You haven't been around much lately. Probably because you're too busy trying to learn to tie your shoes! I get it though. Velcro makes a cool sound. Or you can just rock these slip-on Skechers that I've got on. I pretty much buy the same pair every six months or so. They're so comfy and sometimes I'm just too amped up to sit down to tie my shoes. It can be a real problem some days. But. Uhh. Oh! Raja and the Keer Twins! The Tripura Kingdom! I don't know much about your culture, but I'm sure you're a lovely people. Except for you three drongos! You're so lucky my grandpa doesn't talk much because he'd be ripping you new buttholes with his mean words! Fuck a beat I'll go acapella. Three little pigs all in a row. All ready for me to huff and puff, fuck y'all not getting my blow or blown for that matter. Not by the hair of my vaginny-gin-gin. I wax on the regular anyway. I'm Addy A the bitch with two titles for her two titties and there ain't enough Tequila in Mexico for the stories Sara won't let me tell Lexi. So all that pent up frustration is going to be unleashed from my fists of fury into the face of the Keer Twins or some shit like that because they're just not tough, they're from Cranbrook and that's a private school. Sorry I got lost there. Fuck y'all. You don't even serve that. United States Champion DRAUGR. Cruiserweight Television Champion Addy A. Raging Daughter Lexi Sparkles. Name a better trio in Action Wrestling using the current roster. I'll wait. … … … … … Oh. You can't? Shocking. Truly shocking. I figured with such a deep and interesting array of active wrestlers, you'd come up with something cool. That's my bad for assuming there was some talent to work with. Let's fantasy book some trios for, uhh, science. New Brotherhood and Super Mario. Supermarks and Odin Balfore. Two Gents and The Green. Karlie Nash, Vespertine, and… nope. Forget that one. Also, forget the Tripura Kingdom while you're at it. The fans already have. Those three fuckboys only come around when someone needs to look good on television. Let's not pretend there's anything else going on here. But at this point in time, does their opposition really need to help? Two thirds of this team had three titles already! As for Lexi… … Okay, I get it. This match is to make Lexi look good. All the times we've tried to get O.D.D. Squad in a tag team match… and this is what happens. That's fine. It's good for her to get some reps, and to team with Addy, too. Despite my reservations, Addy can be a good influence on Lexi. She's one of the greatest of all time. Arguably the most well-rounded of the Swallowing clan. The proof is in the pudding. Look at all that gold! When I came back into the fold in December, I looked at the landscape and thought it needed a shakeup. Who better to shake this shit up than Addy? I reached out and got her in contact with talent relations… and the rest is history. Four months later… she's teaming with future Tag Team Champions. Bold claim, I know. Especially considering New Brotherhood is doing a whola lotta nothing with those titles. This isn't about them. Not yet. This is about the Tripura Kingdom. Raja, Jimmy Keer, and Jey Keer. They're a trio of stars who make stars. Plain and simple. Once this is over, maybe Addy and O.D.D. go their separate ways. Two thirds of this team have their own titles to worry about. Or maybe they keep teaming up, to get Lexi more reps. Only time will tell for them. Time has already told Tripura Kingdom what's what though. They're called off the bench when someone needs to get got. Mayhaps there's a brighter future than what I imagine. Again, only time will tell. What I do know is that the trio I represent is on fire right now and there's no sexy firemen in sight. Bust some tits out, Sara knows where it is and I know that because this one time in Mexico… … Ok ok. I shouldn’t kiss and tell, but if the Lizard King wants to put his tongue to good work. I can promise you that I will be screaming for my favorite deity. Buuuut that will be a story for another day and another time, and definitely not for the kiddies like Lexi. Don’t blame me, Baby Gurl, Sara is the one that called you a Kid. One day I will take you to Mexico and make you into a woman. All good stories start with Mexican Poolboys and the Tripura Kingdom are gonna get roughed more than I rough up those poolboys. And when I say rough up I'm not talking sex swings and leather. Oh no, gronks like the Keer Twins they get the full treatment of fists and feet until their bones break. Not for any great purpose other than my own amusement. My own pleasure. I've told many cunts I'm good at two things: fightin and fuckin. At Clash, I'm going to show the Tripura Kingdom how good I am at fightin. Then I'm going back to my locker room and no one better drug test me Tuesday morning because I guarantee I'll piss hotter than a Hawaiian volcano. Tripura Kingdom. A kingdom founded on injustice never lasts. The mighty DRAUGR is eternal. |