Post by Doc Holiday on Mar 31, 2024 12:22:09 GMT -5
The scene opens up in pitch black until Action Wrestling superstar, Doc Holiday walks into the view of the camera. He is looking dapper as fuck, per usual. Wearing an all burgundy Dior suit and standard Aviator sunglasses. There's no need for anything elaborate, words need to be spoken.
"Isn't this some shit? Match Madness has come and the United States title no longer sits on my shoulder, but it's not by my own fault. You see, I don't get pinned or submitted, so how I lost the title is some bullshit. Why T.J. Alexander was EVER in that fucking match is simply beyond me, because I don't think he was ever deserving of being in a ring with Jonny or myself. But Jonny got what he wanted, a shiny title to pad his mediocre career that will never become anything more than just a name on a website, just like names of state qualifiers on a High School wrestling. Kids won't remember his cringe monologues or boring ass promos, which I feel they should definitely be thankful for, because those of us in the present day have to listen to, while we're honestly just hoping a cable gets cut!
Now apparently I'm in a 'Contendership Battle Royal', for what title? Who fuckin knows? All I am going to do is show up and throw motherfuckers around until I'm the last one standing. After all that's what I do, I suffer a setback and then I bounce back from that and get what I feel I deserve. Whatever title it's for, I'm sure that I can bring it home just like every title I've set my sights on. There are a few people that stand in my way in order for me to do so. Nine of them to be exact. Eight that have been named, with one of them being a Mystery Opponent. Ohhhhh wow Brady, good job, you really got people wondering who it could be. I'm sure that since it's you creating the match it'll be something really fucking stupid, like Shadowlove, Dionysus, or TFK. You really like to take things that could be amazing and throw a wrench of idiocy into it. It's almost as if you have no idea how to do your job at all. Your incompetence to provide any sort of value to this company absolutely astonishes me, you worthless bitch.
First on the docket is what you might call a monstrosity of a woman, All Beef Patty. That has to be the most ridiculous name for anyone I've ever heard. Like you're really gonna go out there and present yourself as a hamburger? Like have some sort of pride in what you do, because truthfully there's nothing to be proud of in what you're portraying yourself as. I know how to portray it all, I've got style, a cool name, a cool move set, and the best catch phrase is the game! As if you weren't already looking to be the first one out, you definitely should be thrown out of my damn ring for the cornball act you have going on. It's almost as criminal as the lame ass shit that Jonny Cedrone or 'O' spew every week. Here's a thought Patty, save yourself some embarrassment, don't even show up to April Fools Gold, stay at home, sketch out a new wardrobe and rebrand yourself into something people like. I mean your name is Patty, so take advantage of the current success of Paddy Pimblett, get an English accent and talk all shit you can for no reason at all? I digress.
Then we have Muru. Which makes me go 'Who?' Basically he's my man Jonny Cedrone in the future. Over forty and still chasing relevance, as if it is obtainable through wrestling and it's truly sad. There are tons of things you could do Muru. You could find a job, start working for a company, get health benefits, get a retirement plan, and be set up for retirement. However, you choose to try to get in on my action. You stick your head in where it doesn't belong. Knowing damn well that when you hit the ring, what little talent you did have left your body long before I ever stepped in a wrestling ring. How does it feel that me at my best was something you couldn't even obtain at the height of what you thought yours was. Get out while you still can my man, this industry doesn't want to see another washed up nobody lulling them to bed with a boring ass four to five moves and a weak ass finisher. Maybe in another life you can try wrestling, but in this life you've wasted your efforts to make anything of your so called career, tomorrow will be just another L on your resume.
Now we start getting to some people that might have some potential to do some things in the battle royal. I mean something is better than nothing, but it's not better than winning. Of course I'm talking about Isara, or basically the background character in every move you've ever seen. Never a star and never meant to be a star. He had some success in the past, being one of the best in a training fed for a bigger fed. That's great, I'm glad you could do well against other green wrestlers, you know I was in what you might call a feeder fed, awhile back. It was called Golden State Wrestling Academy, which fed into NEWera. I won the World Title there and then got called up and eventually won the World title in NEWera. See there's the difference between me and you Isara, I get shit done, I don't sit around and wait for things to happen. That's what separates the elite from the fake and if you continue on the path you're on, that's all you'll become, a fake who always talked about it, instead of being about it.
Did Bolt really just put in a girl named Lexi Sparkles in this shit? This girl sounds like someone you would find at the Spearmint Rhino and not in Action Wrestling, but then again there was All Beef Patty. Unlike Patty, Lexi sounds like she has a little bit more in her genetics. She's a third generation wrestler right? She should be able to come in and eventually fulfill her potential right? Let's be honest, sometimes the apple falls very far from the tree. Take for example Michael Jordan's son, Jeffrey, absolute dog shit and average 1.2 points in college. We're not counting Jimmy Butler, because we don't know if he's really Mike's or not. Then again I'm comparing a legend and his son's to a journeyman and his eventual talent enhancement daughter. Lexi, I'm sorry that you have to be an innocent bystander here, you're not meant for this, take your happy go lucky attitude and keep it in your own division. I might get cheers from the fans, but I do whatever it takes to win, whether it's a chair shot across the back or making people scream and tap. I come to win!
I'm getting closer and closer to the people I really want to talk about, but first I gotta address this playa, Freddy Whoa Jr. Now I've seen you around before Freddy and you've been around backstage, you seem like an alright guy. The thing is, that being an alright guy isn't going to get you very far in this game, it's a cruel and unforgiving world out here in Action Wrestling. It's cut throat and break neck out here, you have to learn to swim with sharks like me or you get eaten alive. Watch your back, playa!
T.J. Alexander, let me start off by addressing that you are the biggest fucking bitch in Action Wrestling, if you hadn't tapped to Jonny Cedrone, I would still have my fucking title around my waist! However, you showed the whole world that you weren't ready for the big time and you choked. Now I have to sit here and watch Jonny waive around my title like he actually did something to win it! Meanwhile, I had to take down a legend and then defend it against him one on one in a match where he talked all the shit in the world about how he was gonna beat me and cover the ring in my blood. Best believe you've got a target on your back kid, because when people get in my way, they tend to end up in bad situations. So keep up with your shit, but know that somewhere in the shadows, lurking, waiting, for an opportunity to get my revenge for what you cost me. Trust me the payback will be tenfold compared to what it could've been if you just held out long enough for me to get in the ring and take Jonny out. Consider yourself fucked!
I see, we also have the eloquent Ms. Jessie Lee in this match. Listen I hear all the hateful words you say to me, but truthfully Jess, I hold no ill will towards you. It was time for me to leave Tailored Made, I couldn't be a puppet for TFK any more. But since we've departed, you've done quite well for yourself. A nice lengthy run at the TV title, with some victories over some notable opponents. Your ceiling right now is limitless, however there's only one problem, one man standing in your way, that man is me. I know you Jessie, we went to war together many times, and many times we came out on top. We were a force, a menace, an army of two that this organization could not stop. You're one of the true threats in this Battle Royal, but at the same time I know exactly what it takes to bring the Dommy Mommy to her knees. When I left you could have followed, but you chose the wrong side, now you have to face the man who knows what your tricks are. Best of luck out there Monday, I'm sure you won't need it, until it's just me and you.
Jaice Wilds, man what can I really say about you? You've been in this place a long time and you've definitely earned your shot at the World Title. Or did you? I mean from my point of view it was a lot of you belly aching and saying that you deserved a title shot for being subpar, yet a tenured wrestler here. Maybe that's what I should do, just put together a long winded speech on Clash about my trials and tribulations, about how I'm so close to being done with it all and then be like 'Gotcha!' like you did. There's a difference between us, Jaice. When the going gets tough and the world seems to be closing in on me, I fight back, I don't complain my way out. You got your shot at Teo and it went about as expected. Now the question is where do you go from here? Can you climb your way back to the top or will you fade away? Same could be said about me, I just lost my United States title. But I know my road to redemption starts Monday and winning this Contendership Battle Royal. The title it's for is a mystery, but whatever title it is, I will raise the value of it exponentially. So Jaice, best buckle down, because Monday is going to be one hell of a rough match. I'm on a path of destruction to get some gold and if you're not ready you're going to get hurt real bad. We're out here playing Risk, not Candy Land, if you come with some weak ass shit, you'll be up and over the rope before you know it. So when the bell rings just know that
...THIS IS WAR!"
FADE TO BLACK
"Isn't this some shit? Match Madness has come and the United States title no longer sits on my shoulder, but it's not by my own fault. You see, I don't get pinned or submitted, so how I lost the title is some bullshit. Why T.J. Alexander was EVER in that fucking match is simply beyond me, because I don't think he was ever deserving of being in a ring with Jonny or myself. But Jonny got what he wanted, a shiny title to pad his mediocre career that will never become anything more than just a name on a website, just like names of state qualifiers on a High School wrestling. Kids won't remember his cringe monologues or boring ass promos, which I feel they should definitely be thankful for, because those of us in the present day have to listen to, while we're honestly just hoping a cable gets cut!
Now apparently I'm in a 'Contendership Battle Royal', for what title? Who fuckin knows? All I am going to do is show up and throw motherfuckers around until I'm the last one standing. After all that's what I do, I suffer a setback and then I bounce back from that and get what I feel I deserve. Whatever title it's for, I'm sure that I can bring it home just like every title I've set my sights on. There are a few people that stand in my way in order for me to do so. Nine of them to be exact. Eight that have been named, with one of them being a Mystery Opponent. Ohhhhh wow Brady, good job, you really got people wondering who it could be. I'm sure that since it's you creating the match it'll be something really fucking stupid, like Shadowlove, Dionysus, or TFK. You really like to take things that could be amazing and throw a wrench of idiocy into it. It's almost as if you have no idea how to do your job at all. Your incompetence to provide any sort of value to this company absolutely astonishes me, you worthless bitch.
First on the docket is what you might call a monstrosity of a woman, All Beef Patty. That has to be the most ridiculous name for anyone I've ever heard. Like you're really gonna go out there and present yourself as a hamburger? Like have some sort of pride in what you do, because truthfully there's nothing to be proud of in what you're portraying yourself as. I know how to portray it all, I've got style, a cool name, a cool move set, and the best catch phrase is the game! As if you weren't already looking to be the first one out, you definitely should be thrown out of my damn ring for the cornball act you have going on. It's almost as criminal as the lame ass shit that Jonny Cedrone or 'O' spew every week. Here's a thought Patty, save yourself some embarrassment, don't even show up to April Fools Gold, stay at home, sketch out a new wardrobe and rebrand yourself into something people like. I mean your name is Patty, so take advantage of the current success of Paddy Pimblett, get an English accent and talk all shit you can for no reason at all? I digress.
Then we have Muru. Which makes me go 'Who?' Basically he's my man Jonny Cedrone in the future. Over forty and still chasing relevance, as if it is obtainable through wrestling and it's truly sad. There are tons of things you could do Muru. You could find a job, start working for a company, get health benefits, get a retirement plan, and be set up for retirement. However, you choose to try to get in on my action. You stick your head in where it doesn't belong. Knowing damn well that when you hit the ring, what little talent you did have left your body long before I ever stepped in a wrestling ring. How does it feel that me at my best was something you couldn't even obtain at the height of what you thought yours was. Get out while you still can my man, this industry doesn't want to see another washed up nobody lulling them to bed with a boring ass four to five moves and a weak ass finisher. Maybe in another life you can try wrestling, but in this life you've wasted your efforts to make anything of your so called career, tomorrow will be just another L on your resume.
Now we start getting to some people that might have some potential to do some things in the battle royal. I mean something is better than nothing, but it's not better than winning. Of course I'm talking about Isara, or basically the background character in every move you've ever seen. Never a star and never meant to be a star. He had some success in the past, being one of the best in a training fed for a bigger fed. That's great, I'm glad you could do well against other green wrestlers, you know I was in what you might call a feeder fed, awhile back. It was called Golden State Wrestling Academy, which fed into NEWera. I won the World Title there and then got called up and eventually won the World title in NEWera. See there's the difference between me and you Isara, I get shit done, I don't sit around and wait for things to happen. That's what separates the elite from the fake and if you continue on the path you're on, that's all you'll become, a fake who always talked about it, instead of being about it.
Did Bolt really just put in a girl named Lexi Sparkles in this shit? This girl sounds like someone you would find at the Spearmint Rhino and not in Action Wrestling, but then again there was All Beef Patty. Unlike Patty, Lexi sounds like she has a little bit more in her genetics. She's a third generation wrestler right? She should be able to come in and eventually fulfill her potential right? Let's be honest, sometimes the apple falls very far from the tree. Take for example Michael Jordan's son, Jeffrey, absolute dog shit and average 1.2 points in college. We're not counting Jimmy Butler, because we don't know if he's really Mike's or not. Then again I'm comparing a legend and his son's to a journeyman and his eventual talent enhancement daughter. Lexi, I'm sorry that you have to be an innocent bystander here, you're not meant for this, take your happy go lucky attitude and keep it in your own division. I might get cheers from the fans, but I do whatever it takes to win, whether it's a chair shot across the back or making people scream and tap. I come to win!
I'm getting closer and closer to the people I really want to talk about, but first I gotta address this playa, Freddy Whoa Jr. Now I've seen you around before Freddy and you've been around backstage, you seem like an alright guy. The thing is, that being an alright guy isn't going to get you very far in this game, it's a cruel and unforgiving world out here in Action Wrestling. It's cut throat and break neck out here, you have to learn to swim with sharks like me or you get eaten alive. Watch your back, playa!
T.J. Alexander, let me start off by addressing that you are the biggest fucking bitch in Action Wrestling, if you hadn't tapped to Jonny Cedrone, I would still have my fucking title around my waist! However, you showed the whole world that you weren't ready for the big time and you choked. Now I have to sit here and watch Jonny waive around my title like he actually did something to win it! Meanwhile, I had to take down a legend and then defend it against him one on one in a match where he talked all the shit in the world about how he was gonna beat me and cover the ring in my blood. Best believe you've got a target on your back kid, because when people get in my way, they tend to end up in bad situations. So keep up with your shit, but know that somewhere in the shadows, lurking, waiting, for an opportunity to get my revenge for what you cost me. Trust me the payback will be tenfold compared to what it could've been if you just held out long enough for me to get in the ring and take Jonny out. Consider yourself fucked!
I see, we also have the eloquent Ms. Jessie Lee in this match. Listen I hear all the hateful words you say to me, but truthfully Jess, I hold no ill will towards you. It was time for me to leave Tailored Made, I couldn't be a puppet for TFK any more. But since we've departed, you've done quite well for yourself. A nice lengthy run at the TV title, with some victories over some notable opponents. Your ceiling right now is limitless, however there's only one problem, one man standing in your way, that man is me. I know you Jessie, we went to war together many times, and many times we came out on top. We were a force, a menace, an army of two that this organization could not stop. You're one of the true threats in this Battle Royal, but at the same time I know exactly what it takes to bring the Dommy Mommy to her knees. When I left you could have followed, but you chose the wrong side, now you have to face the man who knows what your tricks are. Best of luck out there Monday, I'm sure you won't need it, until it's just me and you.
Jaice Wilds, man what can I really say about you? You've been in this place a long time and you've definitely earned your shot at the World Title. Or did you? I mean from my point of view it was a lot of you belly aching and saying that you deserved a title shot for being subpar, yet a tenured wrestler here. Maybe that's what I should do, just put together a long winded speech on Clash about my trials and tribulations, about how I'm so close to being done with it all and then be like 'Gotcha!' like you did. There's a difference between us, Jaice. When the going gets tough and the world seems to be closing in on me, I fight back, I don't complain my way out. You got your shot at Teo and it went about as expected. Now the question is where do you go from here? Can you climb your way back to the top or will you fade away? Same could be said about me, I just lost my United States title. But I know my road to redemption starts Monday and winning this Contendership Battle Royal. The title it's for is a mystery, but whatever title it is, I will raise the value of it exponentially. So Jaice, best buckle down, because Monday is going to be one hell of a rough match. I'm on a path of destruction to get some gold and if you're not ready you're going to get hurt real bad. We're out here playing Risk, not Candy Land, if you come with some weak ass shit, you'll be up and over the rope before you know it. So when the bell rings just know that
...THIS IS WAR!"
FADE TO BLACK