Post by Odin Balfore on Mar 30, 2024 18:52:20 GMT -5
AW World Championship
Odin vs Teo Blaze (C )
- - - Never a God
In the darkness and through the haze of the mind's eye we can hear Odin Balfores' voice filled with gravel and resolve.
“ I’ve always been the Last Avenger. I’ve always been the Final boss. Not since 2018. No. Not since 2010, No.
Established 1999.
This is familiar. This is comfortable. I have been saying it for weeks, this sideshow of a clown to CEO, this cruiserweight tag team champion in a non-competitive, inactive sub-division of a brand that only has life when ZMAC of all people turns up for a quick payday, has eroded the company.”
The scene fades into Odin in the ring being built at the Dollar Loan Center as the production crew sets up the set and floor around him.
“ Teo, You vapid harlequin, that championship has given you a lobotomy by proxy. You hold that belt as it’s been your lifelong goal since the day you walked in and all you did was hide in the safety of the Cruiserweights. Where no one would come for you. No one would see you and you can lay there like a slug, slithering in blind darkness. There is no ambition in that. There is no soul in that. There is NO fire in Teo Blaze.
But we both already knew that.
We have both seen companies die with you. Teo Blaze gets his flowers and some company gets its eulogy. To you, that's a fair trade-off. The most advantageous thing to ever happen because you don’t have to defend yourself. You don’t have to put in the work. Teo Blaze gets to write ‘ World Champion’ next to his name but doesn't have to fill out the bankruptcy papers. That's heaven for you. All the praise and none of the responsibility because you’re a fuckin’ child.
Then you have the fucin’ gall to tell JAICE WILDS, that you’re a whirlwind of violence or whatever the fuck - good call. Tell the only other person in this fed, aside from you, that has no place in a world title match that- 10-plus year, unproven veteran TEO Blaze is a Whirlwind of anything other than dogshit. You’re a whirlwind of mediocrity at best and a torrent of failure at worst.
You have no leg to stand on against me. Your quips aren't going to work. Your matches, belts, anything - I’ve been here with you every step of the way, watching you fail upwards because you’re that safe gay best friend that every woman keeps around. You think you’re dangerous and you are - just not in the way you think. You’re a fucking poison. You’re FPV if he had a sack and went beyond the Binary.
You’re a cancer because you hide and you snake. I’m a cancer because I tell it like it is. I’m brash and rude and I handle my shit. Monday night, I’m handling you. Look around you. This isn't your grand coronation. Only you would look at Jaice and think that it solidifies you as something more than a worm. You have routinely struggled in everything that you do:
The gatecrashers, the Deathstars, Heritage, Karlie fucking Nash. Jaice fucking Wilds.
* Odin imitates Teo *
‘ Gah, but do you blame the sun -’
* Odin's voice goes back to Normal. *
Boy, I AM the fucking SUN. You answered your question and sealed your fate LAST WEEK. You knew that I was coming for you - you know deep down in your wax vulva that it's going to be me to kick the jester off the thrown.
The king has returned.
What do you call a double transitional champion - Teo Blaze. You stood there and you tried to nail Jaice on honor and being a man of the people. Jaice Wilds got himself to the dance and unironically pushed you to your low bar limit. You’re a hangaround and you’re inauthentic.
You haven't said an honest thing as champion except ‘thank you.’ I could respect the hustle iff’n that I respect you but if you look around, I ain't seen you yet. Man of the people must be out feeding the homeless and kissing babies. You have appearances to keep up because you know that you’re a fraud. Out there taking every picture in the world. Snapchat is filled to the brim with your goofy ass because you know this is your LAST night as champion.
You envision yourself walking in a hero - conquered the world. Man of the people, getting flowers, rice, and pussy thrown at cha feet. This is your thrown to the lions moment - see if you can fly close to the sun and survive.
You can’t.
You’ve SEEN world champion, Odin Balfore but you never FOUGHT, world champion Odin Balfore.
That feeling you have in your wax stomach made hollow but the liquid fire that you have to swallow to face me - you’ve felt it before. Man of the people, pfft. They won’t save you. They didn't save Angelo.
They didn't have Jolee.
They aren't going to save you.
Teo, your compliance is not a factor. All the words in the English language and you chose poorly every time. You manage insignificance in every promotion that you have been in because you NEED the crutch of the hero. You need to fight on the bottom because you’re not man enough to stand on top and let me tell you something, now that you’re here, you are fucking LOST.
I’ll tell you something else, this is the end of the world, and just as always, I have to both save and destroy it.
Welcome to Ragnarok.
________________
Sun-soaked beaches and white sand. Turquoise blue water that shimmers in the light. We see Odin walking along the shore in blue and white swim trunks. Skin brown and brined from the salt air. The surf rushes over his feet and retreats back almost as fast. As we track him he extends outward to the side to welcome both us and the sun.
“Bend the knee, Teo. Bend the knee and ask me what that sun do. Acknowledge your superior, and perhaps he will bestow upon you the knowledge of leadership, greatness, and Godhood. I am both kind and merciful - for a price. Search your soul and you will find that it is fair and generous for what it benefits compared to its offer. Bend the knee to the Last Avenger, to The Karma God, and relinquish that trinket that you misuse in the false name of honor.
25 years, Karma has been a God. 25 years, 27 world titles and now - number 28. Teo, you still have a grand role to play in this life. Just know that you were lied to. You were lied to when the fans told you that deserved it - you do not. They lied to you when they cried those tears. There is no jubilation in lamentation - just a small man, winning small prizes.
That is something that Gerard Angelo knows all too well. Him, holding that briefcase. You holding that championship.
Notability, fame, and importance are fleeting like the same that beys under my feet, swallowed by the sea - a greater force than itself and beyond its comprehension. You both played your parts. Gerard set us on this path. He set you on this path.
He set me on this path.
Cowards and fools suffer the nation, Teo. However, if you look up..
* Odin points up to the sun. *
“ If you look up, you cannot suffer God. I hope you get so mad about it that you break your wrists throwing punches at the sky. Weepin in vain insanity because there is no hope for you.
I told everyone what was at stake, how this was going to end, and theres you skipping town on the Monorail on your way to Ogdonville. I’ve seen your tired bullshit a million times but you have not had to face the consequences. Now you do. Now, you answer to me. I know you’ll come at me with your good guy routine. How dare Odin Balfore bully you. You insult me with your pedantic pageantry. Nor will you tell me how you’re going to nuke the fucking sun, boy. You gonna talk about honor and violence and could couldn't suck either one out of my fucking dick with Vespertines lips.
You, like Angelo, aren't here to put the work in. I’ve watched you for years duck out on matches only to get rewarded with championships and suddenly you were a ‘ fighting champion.’ Yah Teo, go out here and tell the world that you’re a fighting champion in a world where you never had to fight. You’re not a 12-time champion, you’re just a scab and a leech and you will kneel before me, hand me that championship and MAYBE, I won’t ragnarok you into the Earths core.
To you, Angelo, I know you’re there in the wings, gripping your briefcase tight. It’s your last hope - your only hope and yet no hope at all. I’m not going to be tired or winded enough for you to come in and sneak a win over me. I’m not Downfall. You’re not going to hit me from behind with a chair, I’m not an amateur like Jolee.
I can read the writing on the wall, I’m not Vespertine. I’m not an illiterate hack like you. You’re a non-threat but you exist. You exist in my peripheral vision. I know you’re there, I’m just not concerned. There is nothing you can do to make me sweat you - ever. Just remember that when it mattered the most in your insignificant career, I dusted with ease because that is what I do.
I encourage you to sit ringside. Watch Teo Blaze get beaten to fuckin pulp, this fuckin nerd. It could have been you but you’re too much of a bitch to pull the trigger and get it done.
Maybe Jaice Wilds is your speed. Or TJ - I hear she's in menopausal depression because God smartened her up in her pathetic home country. She’s having a mental crisis because God came down and gave her the epiphany that she needed.
See, the problem is that you all think you’re S-tier competitors because some shit hole-fed told you so. The same shit hole fed that I could dominate with a broken CAPS LOCK AND SPACE BAR, sprinkled in with too many…. Pregnant pauses when I wrote my promos. However, please go off in the presence of the Sun that you’re world-class athletes worthy of my respect and I’ll show you the participation trophies you call world titles. And don’t worry Teo, I’m not going to dirty my body of work by putting:
*Deated Teo Blaze for the World Title
Under my accomplishments.
I’m not gonna hit up those Geek Squad boys that handle Gerard's twitter account to pad stats.
God doesn't need the stats padded but Teo, a little extra cushion for the pushin ain't hurt nobody - not that chu evah knew nothin’ about that.
* Odin shakes his head and sighs at the fact that he’s in this situation. *
Teo, boy, I’m going to fucking murder you this week. Kid Icarus getting toasted up before he even left the ground - as if Jaice Wilds was a good enough test flight.
Where were you then, Gerard - that's some easy pickings - you fucking geek. You’re so allergic to work, you might as well be an African Migrant in London. The charismatic black hole that is Jaice Wilds was enough to boot you away.
You fucking cuck, you think you got the chops to take the AW title away from me when I trounce this bulimic fifth grader with Strabismus.
Gerard, you are the only mother fucker that takes legitimacy away from this match, rather than adds to it. I’ll take Rated X, Elite Inc, The Dangerous Alliance, or one of Wade Moors stupid ass alts, I’ll take a grown man in TMNT feetie pajamas rather than have you haunt this match with that briefcase like a fat chick at 8am waiting outside a Hot Topic.
You just leave Teo to me. God will succeed were the lessers have failed. Send this bitch back to the land of the lightweights to be king of the ants. How illuminating.
Pathetic.
Gerard if you didn't suck like Drake Bell at thirteen, I wouldn't be on you like Tarintino - hacking off ears and limbs and re-writing the entire fucking plot like it’s my job.
Hold up, boy - it fucking is! That's what this is. The re-writing of the plot. Correcting and purging the timelines. The Sun, way up there -
* Odin points back up to the sky. *
Coming and crashing down to Earth, obliterating all your idiot plans, killing all your idiot friends, and spoiling all your idiot dreams - all because you couldn't put Teo fucking Blaze on the goddamn shelf. The walking, human non-factor, and now you have a version of Odin Balfore that none of you can defeat. Each of you walking around with vapid thoughts, sinking deeper into real holes that you try to play fiction yourselves out of.
None of what used to be is here to help you. Like I said, Teo gets his flowers so AW can get its Eulogy. Inspired, enlightening. So fuckin glad I could be apart of this.
What I’m really glad I could be here for is crushing Teo Blaze, killing an entire tournament with a Taylor Swift meme - like a fucking Rizz Goblin. Because I am the only functional illiterate in this entire company that knows when shit is really on the line.
The Last Avenger has beaten every pretending, pretentious world champion and made each of them look foolish but now on Monday Night Clash, free for the entire world to see, Odin Balfore is going to slump this spastic emo kid with sensory issues because he dared to fly too close to the sun. Then, for the 28th time in my entire career, I will be a world champion.
So bend the knee, Teo, and acknowledge GOD!