Post by All Beef Patty on Mar 27, 2024 14:29:12 GMT -5
Once upon a time, in a bustling city known for its love of wrestling, there lived a sentient hamburger named All Beef Patty. Unlike any other hamburger, Patty possessed remarkable strength, agility, and a burning passion for the sport of wrestling.
Despite being made of meat and buns, Patty dreamed of stepping into the ring and becoming a professional wrestler. With determination in her heart and pickles for fists, Patty set out to pursue her unconventional dream.
At first, Patty faced skepticism and laughter from the wrestling community. But she refused to be discouraged. He trained tirelessly, honing her skills and perfecting his signature moves like the "Burger Slam" and the "Pickled Piledriver."
As word of the ambitious hamburger wrestler spread, Patty caught the attention of wrestling promoters. They were intrigued by his unique abilities and decided to give her a chance in the ring.
Patty's debut match was a spectacle unlike any other. The crowd erupted in cheers as she leaped into the ring, ready to prove herself against her opponent. With every slam, toss, and flip, Patty showcased her incredible strength and agility, winning over the hearts of fans around the world.
Match after match, Patty's fame grew, and he quickly rose through the ranks of professional wrestling. Her battles became legendary, drawing in record-breaking crowds and captivating audiences everywhere.
But amidst her success, Patty remained humble and true to himself. She never forgot her roots as a humble hamburger with a dream. And as she stood victorious in the ring, she proved to the world that with determination and a little bit of sizzle, even a sentient hamburger could become a champion wrestler.
The scene opens in Memphis, Tennessee. We are taken to the big top house of All Beef Patty. In her living room, she turns off the TV following that introductory piece on her, airing on Paramount+. She turns around and there's Jade Riley in her living room.
Jade Riley: What a fascinating backstory!
All Beef Patty: None of that is true. I don't even know what to make of all that. It's imaginative and more interesting than my actual story, but it's not the truth, darlin’.
Jade Riley: Then what IS the truth?
All Beef Patty: The truth is… I'm just a good ‘ol girl. I ain't trying to harm nobody. I just love wrestling so so so much. It's all I've ever wanted to do, all my whole life.
Jade Riley: What brought you to Action Wrestling?
All Beef Patty: Well, I've made my name doing physical comedy for a traveling circus promotion. A lot of wrestling elements blended into my performance. I had legit trainin’ along the way, and when my last tour ended… I decided it was time to dive deep into my true passion: pro wrestling.
Jade Riley: Your impromptu match against Bruce Hart at Match Madness showed that you've got the skills. You'll be put to the test at April Fools Gold in the Contendership Battle Royal.
All Beef Patty: Contendership for… what?
Jade Riley: The thinking is that not knowing which title it's for, is the carrot to do your best.
All Beef Patty: I'm not a fan of carrots. But I do like titles.
Jade Riley: Would you like to say anything to your opponents in this match?
All Beef Patty: Yep!
She looks into the camera.
All Beef Patty: Listen up, wrestling world! All Beef Patty is here to bring the sizzle to Action Wrestling! You think you've seen it all, but you ain't seen nothin’ like me!
April Fools Gold, in this battle royal, I'm gonna show each and every one of you why they call me the Queen of the Grill! I'll toss 'em, I'll slam 'em, and I'll flip 'em until there's only one burger standing: me!
So get ready because you're all gonna taste the sizzle of All Beef Patty! And when the smoke clears and the buns settle, you'll know that there's only one true champion in this ring, and her name is All Beef Patty!
She poses heroically and goes silent. Jade waits for more, but there's no more.
Jade Riley: Okay. Well, good luck!
The scene fades to black.