Post by Odin Balfore on Mar 16, 2024 9:15:55 GMT -5
::: Pussy ::: In ::: Bio :::
Final Chapter: Gerard Angelo captures the AW World title for the first time in over a year, capping off the career of Downfall. I’m sure if you told that dude last year that his last match would be him getting shit canned by Gerard Angelo, he’d a have stroke induced by hysterics. It's funny like how the sad crying clown in an iron lung is funny. Little did Downfall realize that a month later that abject metaphor would be real life for both him and Action Wrestling.
And how pretel does Angelo accomplish this - by whining like a bitch. Crying about how his opportunities were unfair. How the consequences of success and victory were out of reach. Homeboy out here making excuses and caveats about Tatiana Jolee of all the fucking people.
The identifiable problem isn't that Gerrard Angelo ain't been tested, it’s that Angelo wants the success without the work. You know you’re an illiterate nerf-herder when you’re verbally slitting your own wrists because Roman Gunn would upstage you because of all the Aquanet he uses and you’re allergic to it’s active ingredient: Charisma.
But fair. A spade’s a spade. You climbed the mountain. You achieved your dreams. Odin Balfore at mad at chu for that. You circumnavigated bullshit mountain and called yourself Magellan. Gerard Angelo. World champion. Gerard Angelo, master and commander of the world. Gerard Angelo, professional crack smoker if he thinks he’s going to Whoop Odin Balfore’s ass in the semi-finals.
Sop lets flash forward. Let’s jump ahead.
Payback 2024: Gerard, You know what happened at Payback, but that was Jolee’s fault; wasn’t it? You, commander of the world, champion of the universe - the realization of your dream and you couldn't even defend it against Teo Blaze.
In the absence of all the greater talent than you: Downfall, Jill Park, the Sitcom, Corey Black, Ash Blake, Dandy Devito Max Deamon, Ray Jaguar, Bruce Cheeks, The Punishers MC, Vacant, Deleted, 404 error, that google dinosaur game, the color purple, number greater than eight while wearing socks, the stain on the mattress where your daddy shoulda nutted and your mama shoulda swallowed -
Gerard, that list is near infinite but the point stand that in the absence of talent you could not get it done. Yet now in front of God and country you’re going to tell the world that you are going to defeat Odin Balfore in order to get your shine back.
Inject bleach into your festering scalp because you must have a traumatic brain injury if you think that. Spun out on Yaz if you think you’re gonna up and overcome this fight. Action Wrestling is in death throws right now, spiraling towards financial ruin because you couldn't defeat an autistic bulimic in a physical contest.
That's who you are. That's your fuggin’ legacy. That's what all your cryin’ gets you. Hold up, everybody Gerardo Shakesspearian over here used the word ‘geek’ he must be serious. Yah, a seriously big piece of shit. Look at you. This is what happens when you give the less fortunate what they want. That's why world champions are out here on twitter with ‘They/Them’ in their bios. That's why the worlds all peace and love till sumbody gets blown the fuck up. That's why Gerard Angelo sits when he has to take a piss because he doesn't know how to stand for anything: Not for morals, not for rights, not for beliefs, not for world titles, not for talent, not for charisma, not even for himself.
Only Gerard Angelo can make Teo Blaze look like John Wayne by comparison. And speaking of that, wernt chu in Hollywood. Wern’t chu on TV and in movies?
The Hollywood Hero, the Moriarty of Wrestling.
Homeboy, that's too many syllables. You’ve confused yourself. You got the game all twisted up. You should go all the way back to being a starving artist, so that Odin Balfore doesn't make you a broken man.
You’ve retired Kidsgrove, Devito and Downfall and you plaster them on your Action Wrestling dot com bio like they are feats to be proud of because you have nothing of merit that you've done yourself. So go and brag about men that arnt good enough to suck my dick and watch were that gets you this week. I’ll have you on late night mortgage for gold commercials like the rest of them.
It’s you that got us here. You and Park and Paul and Shore and TFK and all these Hollywood acts of betrayal because as the boards see number and dollar signs, youtube hits and twitter engagements - it's the merch that buys your rental. It's the gate that pays for your meals and look at what happens when all that dries up - all that entertainment is gone - your left with wannabe pro wrestlers. The same reason Tatiana is going to advance and that's why you’re going to fall - you're both fuckin' trash.
If you want to make this week about Revenge - go hug a toaster in the bathtub. If you want to talk about injustice. Go glue your hand to the pavement. Go on TV and pitch some Goop magical potion but most of all go believe all those Hollywood lies. Go believe that you’re going to beat me and get your victory over Anorexic Oppenheimer - dudes like one of those nervous purse dogs with the shakes. Teo’s like an Illiterate Riddler, as dyslexic as he is diabolical. The Moriarty of finger paints. The Living Legend of the mentally incapable.
Gerard, I ended Sitcom, I’m not out here slappin my dick about it because Sitcom was garbage. Odin Balfore doesn't sit on the shoulders of giants, he is the giant. The Last Avenger is here, stomping through this March Maddness Tournament because there is no one to stop me. I’m here for when Tort and Pasta and all their bad decisions comes crashing down and they gotta kiss that ring and tell Odin Balfore that he was right.
You cant lay there like a slug, cryin about how unfair everything was and then come back raging like the fire burns. No son, when this place burns down, they don’t call Gerard Angelo. They call a real man, they call the Last Avenger. They call Odin Balfore.
There’s no phoenix from the Ashes. There is no great revival. Here is just your complete disappointment. You’re just a sloppy seconds savior whos only real accomplishment at Payback was that I returned from a broken arm nd wasnt there to Ragnarok your soul loose. Look where all these brought you, but back to me.
You told Addy A that you get the Hollywood Ending. Drake Bell would like a word. How many wrinkly dicks did you have to suck in the back of a limo just for the chance for you tell Addy A that shes gonna suck your dick in the back of a limo.
Life over here imitating art, Gerard Angelo going full circle, Captn Crunch rowin his bitch ass in circles tryin to make sense on how Odin Balfore has been eviscerating him from start to fucking finish. You see, the girls bought in the feminist lie. You bought into the Hollywood lie. This is the reality of the situation:
Gerard Angelo, the sloppy seconds savior, getting his Hollywood ass beat into the ground because a twelve year old girl with a tapeworm beat him at Payback. Those same fans who in January told you that you deserved it, as tears streamed down your face in the realization of your quest, told Downfall not to go. The greatest moment in your career was upstaged by someone else’s lowest moment.
What did they do at Payback, Moriarty? They clapped for Teo, too. They told him that he deserved it too. You’re not special. You’re no Living Legend. You’re no great villain of fiction. You are just LIVING A FICTION. Pft, leave it to a Hollywood idiot to get bodied by two gents with a Podcast and thinks he still has the chops to beat me.
Gerard, if all you got for me this week is: geek, dork, a goof in argyle socks, let me fuckin tell you that your getting you neck snapped like Kim Howe in a fender bender (Read that as: this aint no major thing for me but it will be for you.)
The work I gotta put in just to beat the breaks off of a confused fifth grader at AFG only to save your shitty stats is abysmal and pathetic.
Instead of Downfall and Devito in Bio it should say
:::Pussy:::In:::Bio:::
Cuz your getting fucked by the Last Avenger.
Enjoy this T Swift song cuz Karma is a God and so am I.