Post by Tatiana on Mar 10, 2024 6:51:56 GMT -5
The Promo | Invasion
(On Camera)
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE… EVERYONE!
I NEED YOUR ATTENTION!
IT’S TRUE!
THE LIZARD PEOPLE ARE HERE!
AND THEY’RE COMING FOR YOUR WORLD…. Title?
Jesus Christ, what nonsense are we supposed to swallow in order to suspend disbelief in an otherwise unbelievable sport? To have a man that stalks the hallways of Action Wrestling dressed like he’s the love child of Till Lindemann and Jub-Jub is bad enough. The fact that he speaks in the third person and claims to be almost 100 years old just adds layers of tinfoil to this iceberg of conspiracies.
Everything about DRAUGR screams “loser who is REALLY into Dungeons and Dragons and has gleefully paid for Skyrim on all four of its console generations.” And yet here I am, about to enter the next round of Match Madness against a guy who only WISHES he was HALF the Television Champion I was, let alone being capable of becoming AW World Champion.
Blah Blah Blah… DRAUGR smash.
Blah Blah Blah… DRAUGR mad.
Blah Blah Blah… DRAUGR scary.
Listen asshole… I’m neither impressed nor intimidated by your stupid face and I don’t care that you believe you’re the great serpent birthed in the heyday of 1930s Germany. Let me guess, you were born in the sub-levels of the Celle Neues Rathaus by the wife of a high-ranking member of that dark and hateful organization that doesn’t deserve to have their name uttered out loud in ANY forum?
What is it, Devil’s Gate?
Oh wait, that came later.
Right… Probably something else, huh?,
Your biography reads like a bad comic book rip-off. Everything down to your alleged height of 203 cm… Or 6 feet 6.6 inches… tells me that you’re not the immortal spawn of Satan, but rather a deluded man in need of urgent psychological help. You claim that you were frozen… FROZEN! For over 40 years only to be unthawed so you can come wrestle here in Action Wrestling.
Well, I’m guessing there was ICE involved…
Most likely the drug rather than actual cryogenics.
In case your tiny little lizard brain has lost its ability to retain information, please allow me to refresh your memory on a few simple historical notes. Number one, 1938 was right before the start of a bleak era for civilization… Maybe you were BORN that year, and if that’s the case then you deserve an AARP membership more than the AW Championship.
I digress…
Since you were a tiny little lizard baby, you probably don’t remember that it was the CANADIAN army, fighting under the guise of the “British Forces” that went in from the west and kicked the shit out of your reptilian overlords. When they say that the British held out against all odds in the dark years of 1939 to 1941 - they mean to say that the Canadians shipped off to Europe and North Africa to defend the free world against the reptilian hordes.
And for a man who seems to be immortal… The irony shouldn’t be lost on you that it’s a Canadian who will once more stand up and put an end to the reptilian conquest of AW’s World.
“Now this is not the end. It's not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
- Winston Churchill
- Winston Churchill
Are we done with all of this bong smoke lore yet?
Look… I don’t have anything against you specifically, nor do I honestly believe you to be some sinister NSDAP creation birthed in the depths of hell. I loathe the idea of even referencing this darkest chapter in human history - but your whole ascetic screams these provocations from the mountaintops.
You may wear a mask.
You may be a part of some hedonistic occult bullshit.
You’re not a monster - you’re a man who is as fallible as anyone.
his might be just another thread on the tapestry of your imbued lore - but for me, it’s everything in the world.
Yeah, my first reign as AW Champion wasn’t as great as I envisioned. I lost the title in my second defense to a guy who would go on to walk away from AW as soon as he lost it.
None of that makes me proud.
Add to it the fact that I’ve FAILED to regain it time after time, and it becomes a festering wound upon my dignity.
Maybe I’ve failed to measure up since getting to the top of the mountain. Maybe everyone is getting sick of seeing Tatiana Jolee FAIL at the top of the ladder. But it doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop chasing my dreams with a level of gusto that could win a world war.
----
ACT I | Freud or Fraud?
(Off Camera)
The little quip from Ruby Goldhirsch seemed to break the moment of silence as they sat in the back seat of a limo traveling through the busy metropolis of Toronto. Much has been made about TJ’s promo against the man, especially the references to the Second World War…
Perhaps it was in poor taste… But the guy has practically tied himself to the occult. And the dark implications given from his alleged birth year and place were unavoidable.
“He isn’t 86 years old, nor is he a lizard in lizard’s clothing. That much is pretty obvious to anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together.”
Tatiana replied as she gazed out at the familiar skyline… God, it was so good to be here in Canada. She had spent so much of the past few years away from it that it almost felt like she was a tourist in her homeland.
“I think it’s moot… Whether or not he’s an immortal lizardman from the hollow earth makes little difference to me come Monday Night. He’s either Darwin’s wet dream or a delusional man who needs clinical help. I’m going to beat his ass either way.”
“That’s my point though… It’s not reality to you and me. But it certainly seems to be his reality… And a guy who is that large and that unhinged is something we should be cautious about.”
It wasn’t a stretch to have those types of fears… And Ruby was right, it makes little difference what his true origins are. Whether he’s from the 1930s and has been manipulated by a mysterious underground organization or not - the man was still 6’6 and probably batshit crazy.
That makes him dangerous under any circumstance…
More so in a combat sport where violence is the point.
“I’ve been in the ring with weirdly crazed giants before… I spent most of my first-year battling Odin Balfore, after all.”
And if she survived Balfore, she’d survive DRAUGR.
“Balfore has deep conversations with his hands… That’s pretty crazy.”
Ruby almost laughed as she sipped her champagne, only catching herself just in time before spitting on her beautiful dress.
“Okay, you have a point.”
She admitted with a nod.
“But Odin isn’t as sinister… I mean, he’s probably crazy as a shithouse rat - but he doesn’t actually think he IS the rat. This Draugr guy lives his delusions - he believes that he’s some demonic entity… Or… Some embodiment of this hellfire thing in any case.”
“And I think he’s a dumb-dumb with too much time on his hands.”
“That doesn’t make him any less dangerous.”
Tatiana turned a gaze towards her friend and agent. Ruby was only concerned for her welfare, and none of her points were being made to dissuade TJ from this fight. But as a realist, she felt it important to make sure her client did not allow Dragur’s delusions to distract her from the potential threat a monster of his size might pose.
“I know… We’ve all seen what he’s capable of. To say he’s nuts doesn’t mean he isn’t dangerous - it just means that he isn’t the sort of demi-god he believes himself to be.”
Yes, he was huge.
He might be crazy as shit.
And he’s definitely a HUGE threat.
But he’s still a man. He still feels pain and he can bleed just as the rest of us. Therefore, he isn’t impervious to defeat - even against a much smaller opponent such as Tatiana.
“He thinks he’s the missing link, but he’s just missing a link. As big and scary as he is… He’s still a man. And I’m going to show him that he’s just as mortal as the rest of us.”
“Der Trugschluss des Menschen in Form der Schlange.”
“Yeah… That.”
Soon they’d be face to face with hell itself.