Post by Odin Balfore on Mar 9, 2024 14:30:04 GMT -5
Odin vs Jesse Lee
Post Clash
Jade Riley stands there with the tits heaving, ready to throw themselves at the next man that came through that curtain; that man just happened to be The All-Father. Its a tale as old as time.
Odin *jiggle joggle * this is your first match back in over a month! You defeated the World Champions tag team partner, best friend, and hetero-sexual life-mate, Andre Jenson, the former cruiserweight champion. What are your thoughts on advancing in their tournament?
If anyone thinks that they are going to win this tournament then go tell the boys to go home and smoke some more fucking crack.
* Odin keeps walking as Jade follows behind him. *
You’re advancing to the next round against Jessie Lee. Any thoughts on that?
Tell Jessie Lee to go on Feetfinder and create an account; maybe then TFK will manage her properly. Tell Angelo that if he wasn't the biggest fucking scrub west of the mighty missi-sip we wouldn't be here but since he cucks his own career for a living - The Last Outlaw has to take over.
Jolee gonna be headin to Toronto on assisted suicide watch. I heard it's a two hundred year wait for Kraft fuckin Dinner but who cares - we got Teo Blaze as world champion.
Teo’s out here cryin to the fans that he couldn't do it without them. Fuckin Belt Mark. Homeboy ain't ever did anything for this business that didn't involve a trinket. I got as many world championships as Teo has had bouts with Bulimia nervosa. He talks about as long chapter coming to an end - Yah - that's called Action Wrestling. Put your condo up for sale, Jade, cuz we put clowns in charge.
Doc gonna have to get the dice game goin’ - that Ashy mother fucker blowin into dice for good luck like Lebron- skin flakes everywhere.
I know what has to be done. I’m going to put Teo in the hospital. I’ll send this entire company to the ICU. Be havin' Evolution in an iron lung. I’m the only one still in fucking hollowed-out flaming piece of dog shit of a company who knows what happens when Teo is world champion. Ya’ll don't wanna listen - Good - then just stay the fuck out of my way. Ya’ll could have prevented this shit. Ya’ll didnt . Don’t fuckin pretend now that suddenly you’re going to make a fucking difference with your ‘ Make-a-Wish’ level of shoot and character development; talk ‘bout what chu gotta do to get some fuggin wins. Here’s some advice free of charge:
Get fuckin good you scrubs cuz you aint on my level.
* Odin picks up a sheet of paper off of an equipment truck and hands it to Jade. *
Here, pin that shit to the wall and teach Vespertine how to fucking read.
* Odin walks off. *
____________
A woman's hands. Wrang raw from clenching and twisting. From digging and clawing. Swollen and contused. Stained with dirt and blood. None of it well deserved but earned by her own foolishness.
“Feminism is a lie and you’ll spend your entire life destroying yourself to self-fulfill the fraudulent prophecy. It is a malicious deception perpetrated by women who give Hindenburg levels of head ( read as: fucking disastrous) to convince other women to join arms in their shared suffering. The fact that this analysis can apply twice in the same tournament is both mind-boggling and pitiful; yet here we are trying to prop up the matriarchy.
Yet a woman's championship is sexist in 2024 meanwhile Sarena Williams is getting shit canned on the court by an autistic 14-year-old with Down syndrome because he can spike a ball twice as hard against the court.
Jesse, you let me know when these dots start connecting because a man's world is hard and brutal.
It lacks compassion,
empathy,
and inclusion.
There is no diversity here.
The strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must. You need to wake up from this fever dream that you’ve been sold because you traded a roast in the oven for a Ragnarok in the ring.
You ain't comin' up in here talkin' goofy about how you're on par with Downfall and Corey Black. Aint a word uttered or whispered about the trials you faced or the divisions you made. Talkin’ about how you bled for this moment. Is that a fact? You bled to be Hillary Swank in TFKs latest snuff film with guest directing by Quintin Tarintino. On second thought, that tracks; get this far in your career only to get bullied by Tradwife roast jokes.
The only problem is that I only speak facts. After this week, you’ll be mop n’ broom in hand, bent over the counter takin straight pipe makin sure that roast aint burned cuz imm’a beat you twice for it.
Teo’s a nice guy n' all, Jesse, but you ain't gone simp him out a world title. You ain’t battin’ your pretty blues and walkin away with a free meal. This ain’t an Applebee’s two-fah ten.
That's the fuckin problem. When the real work comes, ya’ll beg for equality. You’re even delusional enough to believe that you were the reason Sitcom was the six-month flash in the pan; That you were the monumental force behind that gargantuan piece of shit disappointment - ya know what - that tracks too.
Instead of letting some goon I obliterated on a house show while passing through Mudsville twenty years ago fleece you out of three grand for wrestling training, you shoulda bought a stand mixer; at least then you’d have a marketable skill on Tinder.
All these years I’ve watched AW morph into the unsustainable burning clown car fire it is today with celebrities and MMA jack-offs - and I’ve watched a clown car be set on fire before ( Rest in Power, Switches ) - and now - fuggin NOW - you all want to step up and lead the company as it has no choice but to pivot BACK to pro wrestling. You gone put your sports bra on and put your hair up and put the work in- what - now that there aint no money or fame in it - this gone be you doin the real Mcdirty work. You dumb ignorant whore, take the lessons in Tradwiffery and put them to good fucking use in the home cuz I’m about to wear you out for the mistakes of weaker men ( see: your trainer ).
Someone told you, you could compete in a man's sport: You can’t.
Someone told you that you could compete in a man's world: You can’t.
Someone told you that you can defeat Odin Balfore: You can’t.
Someone told you to believe in them for three thousand American dollars and you handed it over like anal on Applebees Margarita Madness night.
Don’t look at me and think: ‘This is easy,” Nah. Nah, this is easy because I do it.
You Fem Avengers assembled for ten seconds in End Game and tanked a franchise so hard, Hugh Jackman has to come out of retirement AGAIN, just to fix it. That's what this is, Jess. The Last Outlaw, The Last Avenger - the LAST of the mother fuckers that know how to put in the work…
..To save Gerard Angelo, and fuckin Jolee simply because my pride in my work is more important than your legacies that you all routinely cuck for just so Logan Paul and take your screen time and your payday.
So take this opportunity to improve your life. Don’t come to work on Monday.
But to show you that I’m not all bad, I got a joke:
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothin. She’s already been told twice.
And remember Jesse.
I like my dinner at six.
Cuz Karma is a Gawd and so am I.