Post by Action Reel on Dec 11, 2023 22:36:06 GMT -5
We come to CBS LIVEEEEEE for CruiserClash..
Jimmy Garcia: Welcome to CruiserClash and folks, Airborne retained the Championship in a TLC match-
Lexi Stone: OPE!
A morbidly classic air raid siren begins to blare around the arena. The fans begin to rise, while the siren fades to the whistling sound of a bomb nearing it's target. Just as the whistling sound ends, a series of red colored pyros goes off around the entrance ramp! After the red rocket's go off, they leave a blanket cloud of grey, just then "Maggie's Farm' by Rage Against the Machine hits the PA system! The fans begin to cheer as among the sea of smoke stands a single silhouette. Airborne turns around, allows the smoke to pass by him, and begins to head towards the ring.
Ethan Miller: Now coming to the ring...He is the Crusierweight Champion...AIRBORNE!
Airborne exchanges high fives with the fans with one hand while carrying his title belt with the other hand. After some time of living it up with the fans, Airborne rolls into the ring and finds himself a microphone.
Airborne: Tis’ the season of giving. And around here giving usually comes in the form of extremely passionate violence. Which is probably why I enjoy this place so much. I get paid to throw chairs and exchange blows with assholes; it’s like working at a Waffle House but with a better paycheck. And trust me, my paychecks these days have been pretty damn nice thanks to this puppy.
Airborne raises his Cruiserweight Title high into the air for the fans of San Antonio to cheer.
Airborne: In the name of giving, and of course extremely passionate violence, Ive spent the last few broadcasts giving you fans a hell of a good show. I have ignored every second thought, every painful memory, every single rational moment that is screaming I’m going down the same path that knocked me out of this business the last time. I’m being Crazy! Stupid! Insane!!
The fans pop for Airborne’s reckless disregard.
Airborne: But something is different this time. I mean still fall asleep covered in bags of ice. I still groan every time I stand up in the morning. I still rely on a very efficient self-medication regiment to keep me “just right” all day long. But the thing that’s different this time is…I’M HAVING A GOOD DAMN TIME BEING CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!! Did you hear me? I’m Having Fun being CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
The Action Wrestling faithful began a chant that all the fans in the arena soon begin to repeat.
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
(Airborne enjoys the moment dedicated in the name of his violence.
Airborne: Then I was given another gift from the powers to be, another chance to hurt that simple minded, big mouthed, over rated, gentleman dickstick, Andre Jenson. But the Crazy Stupid Insane doesn’t stop with him, but-
Airborne stops as the chant returns.
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
Airborne: But it also calls for whoever wins tonight’s two Cruiserweight Qualifying matches tonight. For a boring champ, a smart champ, a sane champ would see this as a bad thing. And honestly it is, the inherent odds of me walking out of Holiday Bash as the Champ have gone way down. But the Crazy…STUPID…
The fans take it from where Airborne left off.
…INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
Airborne:…The Crazy! Stupid!! Insane!!! Part of me says bring it on! Bring it all on! I have a ton to prove! I’m nothing but an asshole with no fear, no filter and no damn resume. And only way I’m going to be anything more than that is by Winning and the only way I’m going to win is by being…
Airborne points the mic towards the crowd.
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!-
Suddenly the spirited fang’s chant is interrupted by…”Do the Evolution” by Pearl Jam. Out from the back comes the Action Wrestling United States Champion…all 7 feet and 400 pounds of…The Sitcom.
Jimmy Garcia: What in the hell is he doing here?
Lexi Stone: Remember Sitcom and Airborne were both brought into Action Wrestling by Johnny Beckman.
Sitcom stands in the entrance way, smiling at the overwhelming boos reigning down on him before talking.
Sitcom: First things first, to the sad fans, mediocre talent and subpar producers of CruiserClash You’re Welcome for my presence here on this minor league show. Hopefully some of my enormous greatness and variety of skills with rub off on all of you. Secondly, I wanted you to all see what a real champion looks like. Note the way I stand, proud and tall, with shoulders worthy of carrying an Action Wrestling Championship. I have both the ability to give the little man a feeling of hope, while at the same time making sure they realize I’m superior.
Airborne: You also have the ability to leave soon hopefully.
The fans pop off as Sitcom is getting annoyed.
Sitcom: That disrespectful attitude of yours is exactly why I’m out here. You talk about your accomplishments like they’re all your own. But the truth is, Johnny Beckman brought you back and I made you famous! The only thing you’ve done is take the easy path we plowed for you.
Airborne: The only thing you two selfish dicks did for me was trying to use me to get yourself ahead. At least Johnny is upfront with his selfish desires, but you Sitcom, you’re much worse, you think you’re so deep, so tragic, you like to play the role of the victim who hides behind comedy to fend off the beast inside. But the truth is you’re still that scared little fat kid desperate for a moment of happiness.
Sitcom: Don’t worry about me, I’m about to be real happy popping your head off, you ungrateful midget!
Jimmy Garcia: Sitcom is heading towards the ring! We’re about to see a real fight here!
Lexi Stone: But Airborne is sliding out the ring…only to slide back in With A CHAIR! Here We Go!
Just as Sitcom begins to climb into the ring Johnny Beckman shows up. He quickly reigns in Sitcom, getting in front of the U.S. Champion and ushering him towards the back. Johnny takes the mic from Sitcom as he continues to lead the massive champ away from the ring.
Johnny: No, no, no. Not like this. Not here, not now. Not Ever. I’m not letting the single greatest thing to happen to Action Wrestling in 2023 be brought down to the level of a trash wrestler like you Airborne. No damn way.
The fans boo as Johnny and Sitcom take the cowards way out to the back. Meanwhile Airborne picks his mic back up with one hand and raises the chair with the other.
Airborne: That gives me an idea with this chair, and tonight, and some…Crazy! Stupid!! Insane!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
CRAZY! STUPID!! INSANE!!!
As the fans chant Airborne slams the chair against the mat, the ropes and the turnbuckles.
Jimmy Garcia: What does Airborne mean by that?
Lexi Stone: My guess, that’s bad news for everyone but the fans.