Post by Billy Ray Cash on Nov 16, 2023 11:03:41 GMT -5
Billy Ray Cash and guitar stop at a camp fire and sit down. An old redneck feller is sitting on the big rock next to the campfire and begins telling a story.
Redneck Feller: Well, shoot, y'all gather 'round 'cause ol' I done stumbled upon a tale that'll ruffle them feathers and tickle them funny bones. Now, way back when the roosters crowed louder than a bullfrog in heat, there was a time when dinosaurs and dragons roamed this here land. Picture this: a bunch of them scaly critters, big as a barn, stompin' through the mud and lettin' out roars that could shake the cobwebs outta Granny's attic. We're talkin' T-Rexes with teeth longer than Uncle Jeb's fishing tales, and them flying dragons soaring through the skies like they owned the joint.
Well, you see, these creatures weren't exactly the best of neighbors. They were stompin' on crops, breathin' fire near the hay bales, and generally causin' a ruckus. Folks were gettin' mighty tired of it, I tell ya. The cows were nervously chewin' their cud, and the chickens were layin' eggs like they were tryin' to set a world record. Now, one day, ol' Farmer Jenkins, bless his soul, had enough. He grabbed his pitchfork and hollered, "Git off my land, you scaly varmints!" Well, them dinosaurs and dragons weren't too pleased, but Farmer Jenkins was a stubborn feller. He rallied the whole town, and they started flingin' slingshots and hollerin' louder than a coyote with a toothache.
Turns out, the dinosaurs and dragons couldn't handle all that commotion. They packed their bags—or scales, I reckon—and hightailed it outta there. Some say they headed for the hills, others claim they found themselves a nice cozy cave. Either way, they vanished quicker than a snake in a rabbit hole. And that, my friends, is the story of how dinosaurs and dragons went extinct in these parts. So next time you're sittin' 'round the campfire, remember the day Farmer Jenkins stood his ground and sent them critters packin'. Ain't nothin' like a good ol' country tale to warm the heart, I tell ya what.
Billy Ray Cash stands up and grabs his guitar and SMASHES it over the head of the Redneck Feller causing him to crumble down beyond the rock.
Billy Ray Cash: Ahhh SHUT UP you DICKSHIT!
BRC looks into the camera and has some choice words.
Billy Ray Cash: DRAGO or whatever the hell your dumb name is, you listen up and you listen good! There is no one better than me, you dickshit, and when it comes down to it on Monday on Clash, I'll be the next Television Champion! I'm the man with the plan, the bold who holds gold, and your dumb dragon dinosaur creature thing is about to become extinct to the one man band and i'm playin' all my greatest hits! NOW SUCK ON THAT ONE, YOU DICKSHIT!
Billy Ray Cash shoves the camera man down as we fade to black.
Redneck Feller: Well, shoot, y'all gather 'round 'cause ol' I done stumbled upon a tale that'll ruffle them feathers and tickle them funny bones. Now, way back when the roosters crowed louder than a bullfrog in heat, there was a time when dinosaurs and dragons roamed this here land. Picture this: a bunch of them scaly critters, big as a barn, stompin' through the mud and lettin' out roars that could shake the cobwebs outta Granny's attic. We're talkin' T-Rexes with teeth longer than Uncle Jeb's fishing tales, and them flying dragons soaring through the skies like they owned the joint.
Well, you see, these creatures weren't exactly the best of neighbors. They were stompin' on crops, breathin' fire near the hay bales, and generally causin' a ruckus. Folks were gettin' mighty tired of it, I tell ya. The cows were nervously chewin' their cud, and the chickens were layin' eggs like they were tryin' to set a world record. Now, one day, ol' Farmer Jenkins, bless his soul, had enough. He grabbed his pitchfork and hollered, "Git off my land, you scaly varmints!" Well, them dinosaurs and dragons weren't too pleased, but Farmer Jenkins was a stubborn feller. He rallied the whole town, and they started flingin' slingshots and hollerin' louder than a coyote with a toothache.
Turns out, the dinosaurs and dragons couldn't handle all that commotion. They packed their bags—or scales, I reckon—and hightailed it outta there. Some say they headed for the hills, others claim they found themselves a nice cozy cave. Either way, they vanished quicker than a snake in a rabbit hole. And that, my friends, is the story of how dinosaurs and dragons went extinct in these parts. So next time you're sittin' 'round the campfire, remember the day Farmer Jenkins stood his ground and sent them critters packin'. Ain't nothin' like a good ol' country tale to warm the heart, I tell ya what.
Billy Ray Cash stands up and grabs his guitar and SMASHES it over the head of the Redneck Feller causing him to crumble down beyond the rock.
Billy Ray Cash: Ahhh SHUT UP you DICKSHIT!
BRC looks into the camera and has some choice words.
Billy Ray Cash: DRAGO or whatever the hell your dumb name is, you listen up and you listen good! There is no one better than me, you dickshit, and when it comes down to it on Monday on Clash, I'll be the next Television Champion! I'm the man with the plan, the bold who holds gold, and your dumb dragon dinosaur creature thing is about to become extinct to the one man band and i'm playin' all my greatest hits! NOW SUCK ON THAT ONE, YOU DICKSHIT!
Billy Ray Cash shoves the camera man down as we fade to black.