Post by Tatiana on Nov 12, 2023 12:20:09 GMT -5
| Tonight’s promo has been filmed in front of a live studio audience |
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and all the furry pets on the sofa along with you - welcome to Monday Night TURMOIL! Or rather Clash with a focus on turmoil… This is the yearly event with the crème de la crème of Action Wrestling superstars all vying to be superstar of the YEAR!
-laugh track-
What? There’s nothing funny about being the AW MVP…
-laugh track-
Okay, sure… Anyway, moving on.
-laugh track-
UGH! I hate sitcom laugh tracks…
-laugh track-
SHUT UP!
- - - -
There’s nothing funny about a bad sitcom. The cliche jokes, the terrible catchphrases, and that insufferable laugh track that is just drivel used to fill in the empty spaces of otherwise unfunny jokes and stupid punchlines. However, there’s no joke when it comes to the man we call “The Sitcom” here in Action Wrestling - He’s a giant, giving even Odin Balfore a run for his money. And over the 2023 season he’s built quite the repertoire for himself by winning multiple championships. He’s currently the AW United States Champion - and in bygone times that meant he would have been the de facto #1 contender for the World Title.
Err… Well… Then again, in bygone times, sitcoms were still popular, and people still watched cable TV for more than just sports and the news.
Maybe that’s why I appreciate the man?
He’s old school like myself.
I can relate.
Well… Except for the laugh track thing.
Did I mention I hate laugh tracks?
He is a virtual man-mountain while I’m the ‘Mighty Mouse’ champion tasked with trying to chop the giant down in order to ascend into the 3rd round of this most prestigious tournament in the wrestling business today.
Brains over brawn?
Not so fast…
One could say that he’s soaring towards the Golden Globes of Action Wrestling.
I appreciate and admire his abilities… But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to chop his legs down like two great oaks and then run his ass through the woodchipper on my way to adding TURMOIL winner and AW MVP to my 2023 resume.
Sure, the pilot episode was good, and the first season has been memorable - but all great things eventually come to an end. | Just ask Jill Park | and though our U.S. champion has had a run of success to make any newcomer red with jealousy, he’s never had to come up against a motivated, determined, and focused Tatiana Jolee.
I’ve made my career out of beating up giants and overcoming the odds.
In fact, I’m at my best when the odds are stacked against me.
And the Main Event of Clash is no different for me than the Taipei Deathmatch at XIII. Instead of fighting the greatest AW World Champion of all time, I’m battling one of the largest U.S. Champions of all time in a Champion v. Champion - Non-Title match with the honor of AW MVP on the table.
This is your first go in the turmoil tournament, big guy… And knocking the World Champion out of it would be a big accomplishment for you. Hell, it would make you the odds-on favourite to win the thing outright. But this isn’t a television series, and nothing is scripted - so instead of having the best 1st season in AW history and sweeping the awards in historical fashion… You’ll have to resign yourself to a 2nd round exit and hope that 2024 will be the year Sitcom’s make it back into the mainstream.
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As far as I’m concerned… I’ve been the AW World Champion for exactly one month now and have (so far) defended against Dake Ken Jr. in a match that was somewhat anticlimactic. And though he probably has more than most give him credit for; he lacks humility, and his overconfidence continues to hold him back.
If he worked a little more on his craft and a little less on the dick-measuring shtick, then he might be able to get to the top someday.
But this isn’t about Dake Ken Jr… It’s about the future of Action Wrestling.
It’s about who will walk into 2024 as the Action Wrestling Superstar of the Year.
This isn’t my first venture into Turmoil, and unfortunately (much like Dake Ken) I didn’t always have the right priorities in mind. Instead of thinking about the future of the federation (and everyone in it) I was focused on myself and all my perceived slights.
The system was corrupt.
The elite were holding me down.
The fans didn’t appreciate my legacy.
The industry wasn’t about ‘wrestling’ anymore.
blah…blah…blah…
I foolishly thought that the world was holding me back instead of realizing that -I- was the one who needed to change.
How embarrassing…
I got my ass handed to me time and time again… Knocked down, lifted up, and then knocked down even harder. At my lowest point, I was ready to walk away from AW and maybe even quit wrestling altogether. But I was stubborn, angry, and holding on tightly to a grudge against the wrong people.
It took me getting humiliated, broken, and drawn through the mud to realize that the only thing wrong with Tatiana Jolee - was Tatiana Jolee…
But that was then…
I literally accomplished my childhood dream in 2023. And now it’s time to cement my legacy by winning Turmoil and etching my name into the history of this great federation alongside those who walked this path before me.
It won’t be easy… Hell, it may be harder than becoming the AW Champion.
But it's worth the fight…
That much I can guarantee.
- - - -
ACT I | Late Night (On Camera)
Here I was, just to the left of the stage behind the wall looking out onto the set as the host, Seth Myers was given his queue by Wally to introduce me as tonight’s guest. My heart raced with excitement as I exhaled slowly, taking a moment to check my hair one last time in the mirror to be sure that everything was in order.
“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s guest is a Canadian professional wrestler and the Action Wrestling World Champion. Please give it up for Tatiana Jolee!”
The band kicked off playing me onto stage as I was given a gentle nudge by one of the producers. I made my way out with what must’ve been a cheesy smile on my face as I waved to the studio audience applauding me rather enthusiastically. Seth was polite enough to meet me halfway with a handshake before leading me to the guest seat next to the desk where I settled in.
“Wow… I must say, you’re a lot shorter in person than on TV”
This playful dig had been discussed in the pre-tape… Of course, I was abnormally small for somebody in the pro wrestling business - an industry where you would imagine a guy like The Sitcom when thinking up what a wrestler might be like in stature.
“Oh wow, that’s funny because I was thinking the same thing about you.”
Was my response, which came with a big emotive smile as the crowd reacted with laughter and applause to Seth, who was also very much in on the joke.
“Also, your forehead is a lot bigger in person than on TV.”
Again, the crowd cheered as he feigned shock.
“And that’s what you’d call a mighty clapback.”
He said to the camera, grinning all the same before shifting away from the playful introductions and into what we were here to discuss - Turmoil.
“So, you just recently became the Action Wrestling World Champion after defeating Jill Park… Who, I admit… Assumed was the one dating Travis Kelce.”
“Really? I always assumed she was dating herself with the level of self-philating she was always so into.”
Ohhhhh!
The audience gave another round of applause as Seth made a playfully shocked expression, quite rightly opting to shift our discussion away from Jill Park… Especially since I had little positive to say about the woman on a personal level.
“Aaaanyway…”
He said, tugging at his collar as I gave another laugh, the crowd were eating this whole thing up. Not gonna lie, I was having a blast too… These late-night talk shows were always so much fun. The hosts are always easygoing, the restrictions are loosened due to the late time slot, and most importantly…
No laugh track….
The fans applaud this bit of genuine humility. It’s true that I REALLY dislike Jill Park, she is a CUNT - but nobody can argue that she isn’t a legend in the wrestling industry.
“But she’s in the past. My focus is on making sure Action Wrestling remains the top wrestling federation on the planet. That started with ending her historic reign - it continued with the defeat of Dake Ken Jr. And on Monday night, I’ll look to move into the semi-finals of Turmoil by defeating the U.S. Champion.”
The United States Champion… Our dear friend The Sitcom has had some pretty interesting remarks about me. And though, I tend to brush some of his malice off as bravado - I also know that a good portion of it is merited. I haven’t exactly acted in the most professional way over the past couple of years. But that (Like Jill Park) was in the past, and I intend on making amends and proving why I deserve to be the champion.
“Well let’s talk about your opponent. He’s called The Sitcom?”
The crowd applauded, trying its best to mimic a 90’s sitcom laugh track… I couldn’t help but cringe a little bit - despite their collective creativity.
“Dude’s like… Gigantic. I mean, if this were a boxing match the promoters would be brought up on breaching the Geneva Conventions.”
“Well, it’s not a boxing match… So, no need to call the U.N.”
Not yet, anyway…
“Granted, it’s a different sport. But I would be afraid to get into a ring with that guy and I’m at least a few inches taller than you. How do you prepare to face somebody who is so much larger than you?”
Good enough question… Obviously, I wasn’t going to give away my strategy, but I could at least illuminate some of his weaknesses.
“I’ve been in the ring with more than a few giants… And they all have the same Achilles heel. Which, ironically, is their heel.”
Or more specifically their legs…
“He’s a big super heavyweight, so obviously I’ll never beat him with strength - but since he’s so large, those legs of his are more important to him than you’d imagine. You take away one of those tree trunks, and suddenly the giant can’t get up to his feet.”
I mused, tapping the side of my head with a confident grin.
“And if he can’t get up, he can’t beat me.”
“He’s called for a title match… That sounds like it’d be one heck of an ask since Gerard Angelo holds the rights to a title match?”
“Gerrard” I said, mispronouncing his name with my Calgary accent “Owns a contract after winning the briefcase at All-In, which gives him a title shot anytime he wants. That could be by deciding to cash in on me in the middle of a match - or by setting the match type and time ahead with a ‘stipulation cash in’.”
Something that wasn’t often done in this business…
“So, Angelo isn’t the number one contender?”
“Technically, no. Not until the moment he cashes in.”
“That means you could still have a title match with The Sitcom on Clash?”
The audience buzzed as Seth egged it on a bit. I couldn’t help but chuckle, leaning forward a bit. I retained that confident smile as I responded to the question.
“The decision to make that happen would ultimately be up to the booking committee. But personally, I’d be willing to put my title on the line if he was man enough to put his on the line as well.”
Boldly and flatly stated, drawing more applause out of the audience as Seth beamed with encouragement.
“I’ve never been the United States Champion and holding both titles would be quite the accolade to add to winning the Turmoil tournament.” That was rather unlikely - not because of anyone’s limitations, but rather because it’s doubtful Action Wrestling would allow it. “If he thinks that calling on me to defend my title is going to be some gotcha moment, then The Sitcom doesn’t know me very well. I’m all about defending the World Title as much as possible.”
“Well, we here at the Late Show would be thrilled to see you win your way into 2024… And you can watch Tatiana Jolee and all of the superstars of Action Wrestling every Monday night on CBS. As for us, we’ll be right back after these commercial breaks!”
The stage band plays us out once again, fading our little conversation out and into a commercial break….
- - - -
EPILOGUE | Gerard Angelo and The Briefcase
I would be remiss if I didn’t address the elephant in the room. One Gerrard Angelo - the only person in Action Wrestling that could literally end my title run on a whim and see to the demise of my 2023 dream run
I’ve tried my best to avoid discussing Angelo, as he’s got such a hard-on for attention that he’ll do anything for it… Including insulting our backstage interviewer (and women everywhere) with his outdated misogynistic ‘wit’ - but only a fool would disregard the person with the power to put an end to everything you’ve fought your whole career for.
So, I’ve decided to take a moment to give a few short thoughts on our friend Gerrard.
Yes, I know you hate the way I pronounce your name and no, I don’t give a fuck that it offends you. Unlike others in the locker room - I don’t have the sort of respect for you, that you think you deserve. Chiefly because you’re a goddamned weasel.
An absolute snake in the grass who goes about his business with baseless manipulation and disregard for anything approaching chivalry.
I know that you hold the biggest trump card in the business - and though the option to name your match and event for the match is on the table, you’re a fucking coward who will most likely cash in on me after I’ve fought a brutal match.
And to be honest, I’m at peace with that, Gerrard.
I don’t expect you to be a man about anything.
So bring it on, pal… Whenever, however, whatever you want. Cash in on Clash, or the next week - or hell maybe in the parking garage outside of the ring, or in the Hotel Lobby? I don’t care, and I’m not intimidated by a little punk-ass bitch like yourself.
My goal is to WIN Turmoil and claim my place as the AW Superstar of the Year.
And I fully intend on ending this year with the championship around my waist.
So, as you ponder your timing and savor the idea that you might be able to steal MY World Title away from me with minimal effort - just remember this.
I’ve defended the title once, which means I’m guaranteed a rematch if I lose the belt going forward. So even if you slither your way into an opportune situation and steal my title from me… I’m owed a shot right away - and the next time you’re in the ring with me, I’ll be both ready and prepared to dish out the appropriate retribution.
Whether you decide to take the coward's path or opt to be a man for the first time in your career - you’re still going to have to face up to a match against the most decorated technician in the business today. And a shooter with a grudge is a hell of a problem to have.
Just ask Jill Park.