Post by The Sitcom on Jun 2, 2023 23:17:15 GMT -5
(Johnny receives a mysterious Text.)
I’m in town. I’m going to tell
Sitcom about your plan.
Who’s this?
Christopher
Who?
Airborne
“...”
Yes, Airborne! The man
who I once guided to a
cruiserweight title.
More like...the man who
once had his roster spot
taken by you.
What do you want?
For Sitcom to know the truth.
“...”
I can offer you
something better
than revenge.
“...”
How about a roster
spot on CrusierClash?
“...”
Ever heard of Karen?
Nope.
Neither has the
AW booking committee.
So?
Her spot is yours,
if you want it.
“...”
I do.
Good.
Guess I’m trusting the devil again.
(Johnny’s trademark evil smile appears.)
(The Sitcom walks into a elevator. Why are you saying that, DEE? Because, PJ, we’re the narrators...now the elevator is stopping. Here comes the people I picked...surgeon, mama, cheerleader, and killer.)
Mama: My! Ain’t you Big!
Cheerleader: Don’t say that, it will make him sad.
Sitcom: Don’t worry, nothing can dampen my mood.
Surgeon: Why?
Sitcom: I’m on my way to meet Airborne, he has all the answers.
Killer: Does he know what a pancreas tastes like?
(Where the hell did you find this killer guy? Outside some asylum...LOOK! The Elevator just stopped!)
Mama: OH NO! What’s this?
Surgeon: I have a very important appointment soon.
Sitcom: With a patient?
Surgeon: With a golf course.
Cheerleader: Step one, stay positive!
Mama: Oh no baby, step one is praying.
Killer: Funny, from my experiences, that’s usually the last step.
Sitcom: How about this as a step one.
(Sitcom is hitting the emergency button. Now we can answer him on the intercom we installed.)
Intercom: Hey!!!
Surgeon: The elevator is stuck; we need assistance.
Intercom: Okay, sure...how about you talk about Action Wrestling first.
Mama: What’s this fool talking about?
Cheerleader: He’s the expert, let’s give it a chance.
Killer: Wrestling needs more murder.
Sitcom: I guess considering my record as TV champ; you could say I’ve been killing it.
Surgeon: Enough of this, we need actual help.
(Johnny is not going to like how this is going. It’s time to go PJ all over this promo. That doesn’t sound like a solution Johnny will like.)
Cheerleader: Let’s keep our heads held high.
Mama: Baby girl, enough with the sunny side approach.
Sitcom: No, I think she literally means to look up, someone is coming through the elevator ceiling hatch.
(Oh boy, it’s PJ...and he’s dressed in maintenance man outfit.)
PJ: I’m Carl.
Sitcom: Um, Hi PJ.
PJ: Who’s PJ? I’m a maintenance elevator guy named...Um???...
Cheerleader: Carl?
PJ: Was that the fake name I just used?
Sitcom: PJ, I know it’s you, we drove here together.
PJ: That was a different PJ.
Sitcom: OH, is this the trapped in the elevator promo idea?
Cheerleader: I get confused a lot, but this really has me lost.
Sitcom: Is she supposed to represent Ellie?
PJ: And Jimmy, they both do that annoying positivity thing.
Surgeon: Whatever this is, I was promised $5,000 to come here today!
Sitcom: Also, Doc Holiday isn’t actually a doctor.
PJ: Really? No wonder he got mad when I showed him that growth on my penis.
Sitcom: That’s not going to help our partnership come together.
Killer: This better be real; I need that money for my future lawyer fees!
Sitcom: Okay, well he must represent Ellie.
Intercom: According to our lawyers; the killer ‘allegedly’ represents Ellie.
Mama: Someone best tell me what is going on before I introduce Jesus to y’all.
Sitcom: And for the record, I am wrestling Jimmy, not his Mama.
PJ: But just like you and Johnny, you may be the wrestler, but he is the actual threat.
Sitcom: I don’t think I like that comparison.
Mama: SHUT UP FOOLS!!!
PJ: Alright Mama, you asked for it...CHOKESLAM HER!!!!
Sitcom: …um, nah.
Killer: Want me to stab her?
PJ: That would be great. Thank you.
Intercom: NO! NO! Don’t do that!!! Look the Elevator is moving again!
(And thank God, everyone made it to the observation deck alive.)
Cheerleader: Yay!
Surgeon: Where’s my $5,000?
Mama: Lordy, I need a bench.
Killer: Hey Fun! They have a Wetzel's Pretzel here.
(Meanwhile...Sitcom approaches some guy that looks like X-Pac...wait, can I say that?)
Sitcom: Are you Airborne?
Airborne: Yep.
Sitcom: Tell me this, can I trust Johnny Beckman?
(Airborne looks over at Johnny, who is holding a brand-new AW CrusierClash contract...oh, this is getting juicy!)
Airborne: Yep.
Sitcom: Would you bet your life on it?
Airborne: I’m already am.
(Wow, that was a cool line to use while walking away.)
PJ: Hey Johnny, for this promo...You’re Welcome.
Johnny: You did effectively delay Sitcom, like I asked.
Sitcom: Wait? What?
PJ: We sure did, and it only cost $50,000.
Johnny: WHAT!?!!!!
(PJ unfortunately keeps talking.)
PJ: Well, there were the bribes, the extra elevator equipment, and of course the wrap party.
Sitcom: Am I invited to that?
Johnny: Couldn’t you have just told Sitcom a different time to meet Airborne?
(Say NO PJ.)
PJ: Yes.
(Damnit!)
Johnny: Where is Dee? He’s supposed to be the smart one!!
(Johnny looks pissed, and he’s coming for me!! Time to go!!!)
PJ: I think that chick from the elevator wants me.
Sitcom: I think cheerleaders are just naturally positive.
PJ: Not her, I was talking about Mama.
I’m in town. I’m going to tell
Sitcom about your plan.
Who’s this?
Christopher
Who?
Airborne
“...”
Yes, Airborne! The man
who I once guided to a
cruiserweight title.
More like...the man who
once had his roster spot
taken by you.
What do you want?
For Sitcom to know the truth.
“...”
I can offer you
something better
than revenge.
“...”
How about a roster
spot on CrusierClash?
“...”
Ever heard of Karen?
Nope.
Neither has the
AW booking committee.
So?
Her spot is yours,
if you want it.
“...”
I do.
Good.
Guess I’m trusting the devil again.
(Johnny’s trademark evil smile appears.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Johnny is pacing back and forth in his Hollywood mansion.)
“I need a distraction this week for Sitcom.”
(Dee adds his nerdy advice.)
“I once had D & D campaign that took years.”
(PJ adds his drunken advice.)
“I’ve had drinking binges that took decades.”
“That’s just called alcoholism.”
“What about the Stuck Elevator idea?”
“You mean, Sitcom stuck in an elevator with people who represent Doc, Ellie and Jimmy?”
“It’s distracting and motivating.”
“I’ll pick the representatives.”
“Fine, whatever, just make sure I make it to Sitcom before Airborne does.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The Sitcom walks into a elevator. Why are you saying that, DEE? Because, PJ, we’re the narrators...now the elevator is stopping. Here comes the people I picked...surgeon, mama, cheerleader, and killer.)
Mama: My! Ain’t you Big!
Cheerleader: Don’t say that, it will make him sad.
Sitcom: Don’t worry, nothing can dampen my mood.
Surgeon: Why?
Sitcom: I’m on my way to meet Airborne, he has all the answers.
Killer: Does he know what a pancreas tastes like?
(Where the hell did you find this killer guy? Outside some asylum...LOOK! The Elevator just stopped!)
Mama: OH NO! What’s this?
Surgeon: I have a very important appointment soon.
Sitcom: With a patient?
Surgeon: With a golf course.
Cheerleader: Step one, stay positive!
Mama: Oh no baby, step one is praying.
Killer: Funny, from my experiences, that’s usually the last step.
Sitcom: How about this as a step one.
(Sitcom is hitting the emergency button. Now we can answer him on the intercom we installed.)
Intercom: Hey!!!
Surgeon: The elevator is stuck; we need assistance.
Intercom: Okay, sure...how about you talk about Action Wrestling first.
Mama: What’s this fool talking about?
Cheerleader: He’s the expert, let’s give it a chance.
Killer: Wrestling needs more murder.
Sitcom: I guess considering my record as TV champ; you could say I’ve been killing it.
Surgeon: Enough of this, we need actual help.
(Johnny is not going to like how this is going. It’s time to go PJ all over this promo. That doesn’t sound like a solution Johnny will like.)
Cheerleader: Let’s keep our heads held high.
Mama: Baby girl, enough with the sunny side approach.
Sitcom: No, I think she literally means to look up, someone is coming through the elevator ceiling hatch.
(Oh boy, it’s PJ...and he’s dressed in maintenance man outfit.)
PJ: I’m Carl.
Sitcom: Um, Hi PJ.
PJ: Who’s PJ? I’m a maintenance elevator guy named...Um???...
Cheerleader: Carl?
PJ: Was that the fake name I just used?
Sitcom: PJ, I know it’s you, we drove here together.
PJ: That was a different PJ.
Sitcom: OH, is this the trapped in the elevator promo idea?
Cheerleader: I get confused a lot, but this really has me lost.
Sitcom: Is she supposed to represent Ellie?
PJ: And Jimmy, they both do that annoying positivity thing.
Surgeon: Whatever this is, I was promised $5,000 to come here today!
Sitcom: Also, Doc Holiday isn’t actually a doctor.
PJ: Really? No wonder he got mad when I showed him that growth on my penis.
Sitcom: That’s not going to help our partnership come together.
Killer: This better be real; I need that money for my future lawyer fees!
Sitcom: Okay, well he must represent Ellie.
Intercom: According to our lawyers; the killer ‘allegedly’ represents Ellie.
Mama: Someone best tell me what is going on before I introduce Jesus to y’all.
Sitcom: And for the record, I am wrestling Jimmy, not his Mama.
PJ: But just like you and Johnny, you may be the wrestler, but he is the actual threat.
Sitcom: I don’t think I like that comparison.
Mama: SHUT UP FOOLS!!!
PJ: Alright Mama, you asked for it...CHOKESLAM HER!!!!
Sitcom: …um, nah.
Killer: Want me to stab her?
PJ: That would be great. Thank you.
Intercom: NO! NO! Don’t do that!!! Look the Elevator is moving again!
(And thank God, everyone made it to the observation deck alive.)
Cheerleader: Yay!
Surgeon: Where’s my $5,000?
Mama: Lordy, I need a bench.
Killer: Hey Fun! They have a Wetzel's Pretzel here.
(Meanwhile...Sitcom approaches some guy that looks like X-Pac...wait, can I say that?)
Sitcom: Are you Airborne?
Airborne: Yep.
Sitcom: Tell me this, can I trust Johnny Beckman?
(Airborne looks over at Johnny, who is holding a brand-new AW CrusierClash contract...oh, this is getting juicy!)
Airborne: Yep.
Sitcom: Would you bet your life on it?
Airborne: I’m already am.
(Wow, that was a cool line to use while walking away.)
PJ: Hey Johnny, for this promo...You’re Welcome.
Johnny: You did effectively delay Sitcom, like I asked.
Sitcom: Wait? What?
PJ: We sure did, and it only cost $50,000.
Johnny: WHAT!?!!!!
(PJ unfortunately keeps talking.)
PJ: Well, there were the bribes, the extra elevator equipment, and of course the wrap party.
Sitcom: Am I invited to that?
Johnny: Couldn’t you have just told Sitcom a different time to meet Airborne?
(Say NO PJ.)
PJ: Yes.
(Damnit!)
Johnny: Where is Dee? He’s supposed to be the smart one!!
(Johnny looks pissed, and he’s coming for me!! Time to go!!!)
PJ: I think that chick from the elevator wants me.
Sitcom: I think cheerleaders are just naturally positive.
PJ: Not her, I was talking about Mama.