Opening Up the Door III: An Introspection
May 17, 2023 19:34:10 GMT -5
Downfall and Serenity Holmes like this
Post by Mr. Psychedelic Brandon Leno on May 17, 2023 19:34:10 GMT -5
WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!!
It’s good to see you too, Rens. Bulging eyes, quick breathing and a red face…yep, he pissed. In fairness I just disappeared for a month…I can understand why he's a bit…agitated. At Least he’s not wav…wait…oh shit…here comes the finger.
YOU! Do you know what the hell I have been up to the past month trying to find your fuckin ass?! I get calls because you owe people money and you are nowhere to be found. I gotta schmooze them over and make sure that you arent fuckin broke and homeless if and when you came back.
About that…he’s not going to like this…I’m not going back to Austin. My life there is over, I need to find a new home. I appreciate everything you did for me…especially when you could have just said fuck it. But I need to find a new place to make memories…hell, maybe I just travel like a gypsy and see whatever I want to see. Either way, my time in that town is done.
Aww…the big softie. I knew he’d cool down. No bugged eyed, fire breathing Renzo. You see, he was never able to have kids…that cost him his marriage, she wanted a family, and he understood. So when he became the lawyer for my dad I naturally became a nephew…and more like a son after mom died and dad started drinking. So, this was natural, he gets mad, I flash a smile and say something nice and BAM.
What happened to you kid? I mean, I could give him the down and dirty about Peru, taking a potion that made me trip so hard I ended up in another dimension. Or…I could say this, let's just say…I found a new way to look at life. Listen, cancel the apartment. Tell Doris that she was a wonderful landlady, and despite asking me for sexual favors, persistently, she’s a good lady so pay her for the next month while she's finding a new tenant. I’ll call you when I stop somewhere for a while. I give him a reassuring grasp on the shoulder before I head on my way.
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“The urge to transcend self-conscious selfhood is a principal appetite of the soul.” - Aldous Huxley
I knew, at least for a little bit, where my new home would be. A place where I can continue my journey to the center of the mind, as Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes would have said. This time though, I would go on this journey alone. I know it can be dangerous to not have a guide or someone with you on these journeys, but, this time, I knew in my soul I would have to go at it alone. So, I loaded up my Camero and headed for my new home…Joshua Tree….
Man, its fucking beautiful out here. People are always on their phones, playing video games or watching TV, but this right here…this is the best place to be on earth. Mother nature is so beautiful and it reminds us of how precious nature can be…a reminder that humans are slowly forgetting in favor of using up resources that don’t come back once taken from the earth. Deforestation ripping and tearing apart areas that are so magical, because they houseplants that used in correct ways, could possibly provide cures to some of our most terminal diseases.
The sunsets….
It's' time we do this thing, ya dig?
The ceremonial tea…
Hidden Valley…I drink…to explore…
The Mind’s Eye….
If only others could see the ethereal beauty, the world might be a different place. Less focus on the mundane monotony that we call society. When you open up the mind and allow for it to be creative, focusing less on what time it is and how far from home we are and more on the gorgeous, sensual beauty of the universe.
A world in which everyone and everything is interconnected. As I walk through the Hidden Valley, the purple, reddish yellow glow of a sun just above the mountains, soon to be finished with its setting, making way for the moon to illuminate the dark valley, I can’t help but think back on the events that have transpired in my life recently.
My death warrant was written at Battlefield. I was never going to win…it was never going to be. It was going to be Freedom holding that belt. I was in a mental prison, unable to focus on anything Action Wrestling. Maybe it was karma for showing up late consistently to shows, not giving anyone a whiff of where I was and what I was doing. What was I doing…where was I?
Even now, those moments are hazy to me at best. A fugue often took over, causing me to feel disoriented. I was in an abyss of depression. The agony twisting in my gut felt like I was being stabbed, twisting the knife for sadistic pleasure of my mental insanity. What I have come to realize, in time, the wounds were self-inflicted. Every day was an investigation…one of those long interrogations that seem like they will never end as you sweat under the heat of a lamp. You know, like in those old detective shows. Accusing everyone else of causing the immense pain that ravaged my soul for so long. Blaming my opponents for losses instead of looking in the mirror, causing my mind to turn a blind eye to the abuse that my insanity inflicted. It was only a matter of time before my gut would have been eviscerated, and who knows, if it weren’t for Ethan, I may have followed through…
But Peru was a godsend, for those who believe in the deity…it was the universe noticing a child in distress. The universal spirit, or whatever you would like to call it, used Ethan like a puppet, masterfully I might add, to get me some help…realign my spiritual aura. I went into the rainforest, a shell of a man. I have come out a new being, with a new soul seeking nourishment from life, much like a student who is eager to learn, thirsting for that knowledge. There is a similar thirst within me, wanting to learn more and more about the universe outside the realm of what ordinary life is. Instead, I want to expand the limits of reality, asking questions that are too much for the ordinary laymen to answer, for they can’t see what the mind’s eye can see. Colors are much more vibrant, sounds so much more elegant because the senses are so much more heightened than the normal laymen.
A picture appears in the sky, a most beautiful face. That face haunted me, a residual haunting night after night within my consciousness. Tears began to stream down the face and I felt as if these large droplets of water were hitting me. So much concern, worry, pain…suffering endured because of the monster living within the man.
I’m sorry…
A saint, this woman, reaching out like we tell others to do in times of need, utterly steamrolled by the colossus of a demon fueling nightmares to torture the soul. Masterfully manipulating the mind like a marionette, the puppet master isolated the soul, cutting it off from nutrients, causing it to wither and eventually, dying. Still, many friends, family and acquaintances attempted, in varying degrees, to help me out of that dark corner of my mind. That was then, this is now, and this is a new journey. One that hopes to be truly magical and enlightening.
The moon and stars look so beautiful….