Post by Mr. Psychedelic Brandon Leno on May 2, 2023 21:33:16 GMT -5
“If the doors of perception were cleansed then everything would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern". - William Blake
The end had finally come. The voices, the nightmares, the suffering that he had been enduring since the passing of his mother had finally reached its climax. The wandering spiders could not have been avoided, that is now evident as the door to death was always open, the spiders were a vessel to bring him through the door, the door that he ultimately could not outrun. In any universe, in which there is an infinite amount, the outcome would have been the same, ending with death.
Atop the grassy, healthy looking knoll rested a tombstone. The tombstone read…
BRANDON LENO
HE HAD BEEN DEAD FOR A LONG TIME
It was true, although hindsight is always 20/20. Nevertheless, he had died and nobody showed up to mourn the man that had pushed away everyone that had loved him, Penelope, Pooneil, even Rens tried to reach out multiple times, but he never answered. Instead he suffered alone, rotting from the inside, waiting for the day everything came crashing down…
A man and a woman slowly make their way up the knoll, hand in hand towards the grave. Both dressed in white, she had a beautiful white sundress while he was in a white Kutra shirt and Churidaar pants. Reaching the top of the knoll and as the wind picked up, they both stood staring at the grave. Brandon Leno stood, staring at the grave that held his rotted physical self. It was the death of one life, but the rebirth of another. He felt at peace finally. Up until now he felt as if there was a heavy weight pressing on his soul, but now he felt as if he would at some point levitate in the air. This feeling, a feeling that he had not had since he was child laying in his room, spinning Hendrix records, reading about Blake and Goya, warm and secure as if he were covered in a fuzzy blanket.
Brandon...
Yes, Alice?
It’s time to go.
Her angelic voice flowed into his ears, a beautiful hymn, as the wind blew her Auburn hair. “Close your eyes. What do you see, lover?” said the same cherubic melody, but it did not come from her mouth, rather it came from her mind in a telepathic connection.
I see…I see colors, pink and red and yellow and orange, pulsating in the most harmonious sequence. It's so, so elegant. Wait they are forming something…its, that’s my hair. My face, I can see my face.
Open your eyes, echoed in his brain. He didn’t want to, because it was so beautiful. A carnival of colors, feelings of love, feelings of the universe. His eyes open tepidly, not sure what the curtain would reveal. Immediately, a pungent, acrid smell of death assaulted his nostrils. He choked out a cough, the smell felt acidic as it burnt the back of his throat with each breath he took. Once his eyes had adjusted he looked around the room with its bland white walls, unpleasant curtains and there, laying in a bed was Hilda Leno, wasting away as she looked well into the progression of her cancer.
Different emotions flooded his body. His heart felt as if someone had reached in and tried to squeeze every bit of life out of it. Red tears, like a river, flooded his face, rolling down his cheeks, stinging his eyes. The approximate time this took place can’t be given for sure, but he knew he was somewhere entertaining crowds, having the time of his life…and this, this is what he missed.
She didn’t want you to see her like this, a prideful woman she was. She knew that to you she was a strong woman, the linchpin that kept the machine running. Therefore, you were encouraged to stay away. Hilda never blamed you love, never felt hurt that you weren’t around at the end…she wanted you to be free and remember the loving, caring angel she was for you and your father.
His knees had buckled, causing him to collapse next to the bed that held the physical body, the woman who he loved more than anything. Wild screams of pain, sorrow, grotesquely filling the room.
Let it go, love. Quit trying to hold onto it. You can’t be truly reborn until the hate for yourself, hate that has cost you so much already in life. It cost you love, friends, it cost you your wrestling career. Stop Brandon, let go of it all.
The screams continued as he reached out, gingerly grasping the decayed hand of Hilda. He could feel the skin, dried out, no longer full of the vibrant life that he once remembered. His cheeks were burning as the red tears continued to flow and soon his face looked as if he had spent too many hours out in the desert sun. Forgive yourself…and you shall be free
Suddenly he felt a squeezing of his hand. Hilda’s hand had stirred and lovingly squeezed his hand. His screams began to soften…he was slowly forgiving himself. The feeling going through him was one of relaxation, relief and in this moment, Brandon Leno was truly reborn. His head shot back in a vicious whiplash and through his open mouth a white, elegant light flowed out, erasing everything and everyone in the room, almost like wiping a slate clean.
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It would be difficult to explain where I emerged after my ascension, in a sense, from the mouths of hell and madness. This journey that started in a Peruvian jungle with what I understand now was a potent mix of local herbs and a major dose of Ayahuasca. I couldn’t tell how long this trip lasted but it seemed to last for days in this…otherworld. Now that I think of it...realm seems to fit this space I was now in. The Buddhists believe there are ten realms, perhaps this is one of them. Or, maybe this is part of the interdimensional realms that Ziggy Stardust attempted to rule as a sexual god of rock n’ roll, ultimately ending with the Spiders from Mars tearing him apart. Heh, spiders…small world.
The sky is a hazy purple with white clouds that not only are floating from right to left but had a fluidity of a shapeshifter, changing shapes and angles as they followed their course. I can hear music, something that I would call Middle-Eastern disco. It comes from the forest off in the distance, with red trees and what looks to be blue grass on the floor. There is no guide, the shaman and the cherub do not exist in this realm, I know this to be true. For whatever reason, here, I am the controller of worlds. I will be known as “The Wizard” of this mystical world, Lenoland.
As I make my way into the forest, my mind runs wild with curiosity like deer moving through the woods, looking to avoid hunters who will skin them for sport and pleasure. Supreme hedonism provides an elucidation of Lenoland. Beautiful women, all of them waiting for their king to arrive…all of them committed to one king, The Wizard. Beer, wine, the finest grass that ever existed. It had a pleasant odor, smell of skunk…shits legit. Microtonal music fills my ears in an ethereal symphony. The beauty is unreal. My maidens, hair so luscious, their skin, smooth with an olive shade, gently pulling my arm into the dancing circle, childish giggles escape their mouths as they press their bodies against mine, causing an electric feeling to flow through my body, goosebumps forming on my arms. One of these goddesses gently drew my head closer, those exquisite eyes make me feel things that I haven’t felt in a long…long time. Feelings of lust, love, pleasure. She leans in. I can feel her warm breath hit my neck.
Do you want us? Say yes. We are all yours, Leno.
My knees begin to become weak as I feel myself begin to melt inside. I want it, I want…them, so badly and all the desires that they represent, causing my phallic ego to swell…this is what Oedipus must have felt after killing his father, although in the myth, Oedipus doesn’t know that Jocasta was his real mother, but…how Freudian. I wonder if Oedipus felt a carnal pleasure in killing his biological father. Am I Oedipus Rex? I emotionally killed my father because I loved my mother so much. I need to feed this salacious urge within me. Pure, unadulterated ecstasy was awaiting me, I have the power to shed the shackles that reality, the otherworld with all it’s disappointments and boredom, freeing my mind. Or is this realm reality and I have transcended? Just say yes…
YES….