Post by Mr. Psychedelic Brandon Leno on Apr 21, 2023 21:27:14 GMT -5
“The man who comes back through the Door in the Wall will never be quite the same as the man who went out” - Aldous Huxley
Day After Battlefield
He sat on the edge of the couch as the letter lay open, only kept from delicately floating to the floor by his thumb and index fingers.
It hurts that I have to write this letter, but for the health of my child I must. After that night you kicked me out of your apartment…I could see in your eyes that there was no getting through to you. I love you. I know it hasn’t been long but I have fallen in love with you Brandon…that is why this hurts so much. I can no longer be a part of your life. I was hurt once by a man who had fallen victim to his inner demons, I can’t watch it happen again. My daughter deserves better than that. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you truly find happiness, but I will always wonder about what could have been…goodbye sweet prince.
-Penelope
Three tears splash onto the paper before it is folded back up and slid back into the seal it had been delivered in. No title, no girl, no family left…he had nothing. Darkness…nothing but a black hole existed within his soul, sucking the hope and life out of it. His thoughts began to shift…”nobody would know you were gone or missed you if you disappeared. Torture and Pasternak are busy having a father-son moment fighting over the biggest bitch in the company and the fans will eventually forget…wrestlers like you come and go. Flash in the pan…he had the potential…oh well…next man up”
Rens had been vacationing in Miami when he got the first call. It was the landlord of Brandon Leno. She was concerned because he had not been home in two weeks and was wondering if he had heard from him (assuming the worst if he hadn’t). He replied that he had not seen or heard from him but he would check in to see where he was, also ensuring that she would get this month’s rent whether he returned home or not.
Call number two to his lawyer came about an hour later. This time it was Pooneil trying to find him. He and Rens talked but neither one of them knew where he was and he was not answering calls. Rens then called AW and got a similar answer…all they knew was that Leno texted HR and stated he was taking an “extended absence”. This concerned him and his friend. Never in his life has Brandon ever just peaced out without letting people know where he was going. Pooneil was nervous that something bad had happened, knowing the professional and mental issues he was having while Rens was worried that he was going to end up in some Mexican jail down in Tijuana.
The search had begun…
Amazon Jungle
Dr. Ethan Childs, an ethnobotanist from Berkely, a dear friend of Brandon’s mother had contacted him two weeks earlier. He asked Leno if he could handle a machete and a gun if needed and when Leno assured him that he could, the man of 67 years explained to Leno what he wanted. He had found a remote civilization in the Vale do Javari section of the Amazon Rainforest 20 years ago.
I want you to come with me this time. I think it would be wise on your part to come with me.
I’m flattered that you thought of me Ethan…I really am, but I’m kind of busy right now…
Ethan looked at Brandon with a sly grin…
Oh…yeah, I forgot the pro wrestler who is one step from the edge of falling into utter insanity. I can see it in your eyes boy…trust me, what you will witness down here, it's magical. Tell that company that you are taking some time because you suffered a dislocated shoulder or something…
And now there they were, cutting through the thick brush of the lush, and beautiful sections of the Amazon. Javari was one of the last areas that has not been poisoned by the hand of drug trafficking, illegal mining and forestry. It is protected by the Brazilian government. Because Ethan was an ethnobotanist he had gained access to this region, something that few non-indigenous people get an opportunity to do.
After hiking through the jungle for about 5 hours, they arrived at the village of the Blanco Jutai. Those who had remembered Ethan came and spoke to them in a language that he had never heard before. It was not a language of words but sounds. Ethan had spent 10 years learning enough to understand the more important messages being relayed.
During the final hours of daylight the village was hard at work preparing a fire for the night. Once nighttime fell and the fire raged, the shaman began to speak as two of his people prepared a concoction of herbs. Chants from the tribe would flutter intermittently. It was at this time a revelation had been made.
That drink is for you Brandon.
What?!?!?! Ethan what the fuck man?
Childs lays a calming hand on his shoulder attempting to reassure the bewildered man sitting next to him.
Listen, I know the struggles that you have been going through. I know about the nightmares…the voices…I think I can get rid of them, with that, Yage Javori. This is why I brought you here. This is the magic I was telling you about. Brandon…I think I have found the elixir…to heal.
Ethan…I’m adventurous…but this…I…can’t
For your mother, child…
How could he say no at this point? He was already down here with nowhere to go. If he didn’t accept the drink he would continue to watch his personal life self-destruct, crumble like an old, battered castle as the waves slowly wash the pieces into the sea. He had nothing to lose….he accepted the drink.
Minutes after swallowing he began to flush at the cheeks while saliva began to build up in his mouth. A feeling that was familiar yet foreign at the same time. Suddenly…he began to violently expel from his mouth and his anus. He seemed to be in no control over his bodily functions at this point. Colors began to appear on the ground as the vomit began to morph into a pile of snakes, but it wasn’t just the pile…snakes were coming out of his mouth. He could feel them coming out of his ears as the shaman faintly chants.
What the fuck is going on??? He tried so hard to stop but it was futile. He was not in control of it…someone or something, the shaman perhaps, had control of his body. He was just a bystander in his own flesh.
Once the last snake had been expelled his body began to violently shake and his head began to pound. A pressure that felt like his brain would break through his skull began to fill his thoughts and his nervous system. As this happened the shaman began to shout a series of sounds over and over again. This all led to a crescendo as he began to expel toxins from his body once again. This night was spent with his body becoming eviscerated as he cried in between expulsions. Why are you doing this to me?! He shouted repetitively, a reprieve would not come, Brandon Leno would not be saved that night.
The Following Day….
He slept all day, his body exhausted after the onslaught it took last night at the ceremony. His throat was sore from the acid in the vomit, but something was different. Something about him…was different.
Dude that wasn’t fucking magical last night. What the fuck Ethan? What the fuck was that? Ethan sat next to him in his hut.
My son, the only person that can answer your inquiries is the shaman. See, when these people take this journey that I’m trying to show you, they can easily get lost on the path. They need a guide, someone to help them through the darkness. The shaman, he is the guide. I don’t know why he made you go through what you did last night but I promise you Brandon…there was a reason for it. You must trust the shaman.
Ethan had no children. At a certain point, Dr. Ethan Childs made an unconscious decision to commit his life to his work. However, Brandon’s mother was like a sister to him so to Ethan, Brandon is part of his family. With a fatherly hand, Ethan Childs pulled up Brandon and led him to the shaman. Another fire was being built, there would be another ceremony tonight, as the sun fell and the moon rose, the second part of his journey would come.
Once face to face with the shaman, Brandon asked the man in a way that a child who had a bad experience would ask a parent why it happened to them. The shaman spoke and Ethan translated.
He says that your body needs to be cleansed. The snakes that came out were all the negative energy that you brought from the otherworld, what they call the outside world, therefore you must be purged to continue the walk. To take these walks, your spirit must be free of toxins and your mind must be clear from the thoughts of our world. Tonight, you will begin the walk.
Again, the village would soft chant at times around the fire as the liquid was being made. Two drinks were being made. Seeing this Brandon became alarmed as he shot a concerned glance at Ethan, but Ethan did not see him as he was chanting with the rest of villagers, staring into the fire as if he were in a trance, as if something had a hold of him. One bowl was given to him and the other bowl was given to the shaman. That’s when he remembered Ethan saying that the shaman is a guide, so he must take the drink too. They both drank. The same feelings began to arise and for a few moments Brandon shook in fear of having a repeat of the night before. However, when the moment came to start expelling like last night, a whirring sound kicked up within his ears as he stared at his guide, the shaman gazing back, looking into the naked soul of Leno.
At once, the whirring dissipated and Brandon looked around to see that everyone else had disappeared. Now it was only he and his guide as they began to walk into the jungle while a kaleidoscope of colors emerged, but this was different. He could not only see the colors but he could hear them as well, seeing sounds as the jungle life continued with their beautiful serenade.
A jaguar appeared with an ethereal beauty that he had never experienced before. The color of its fur, so vibrant that he could not find the words to explain any of this. He would later tell people that no word or words in the English language could ever accurately explain what he experienced that night. The jaguar approached Brandon and he wanted to scream and leap back as the majestical creature approached him, but he couldn’t move. He sighed sweet relief when the jaguar licked his hand, gently rubbing its face against him. Then he heard a voice. It was the shaman, but he could understand what he was saying.
This jaguar will be our protection, our armor against any unwanted predators. This jaguar will forever be with you now, even in the otherworld, its spirit will protect you from the negatives of the otherworld. They continued to walk deeper into the jungle.
The once vibrantly colored jungle began to succumb to a blackness that seemed to creep in ever so slightly, but just enough for him to catch an ominous feeling. The jaguar stayed firm at his side. Suddenly, drums, a violent rythmic beat grew louder and louder the further they walked in the jungle. Screams echoed throughout the trees in succession, short but wild bursts, followed by long howls. Coming through the trees were people…but they weren’t. Bodies of a homo sapien but heads of howler monkeys.
The howlers are meant to be a distraction to draw your attention from what lurks beneath the brush, on the floor of the jungle. When you see howlers, be very aware of your surroundings.
As they passed the howlers the array of vibrant colors arose again, revealing the natural beauty of the jungle around him. Flowers were brighter, the reds, purples, blues all glowed like they had never before. They were more vibrant than the common eye sense can interpret. A gorgeous blue butterfly flew onto an outstretched finger that had been gently caressing a flower. Instantly he became filled with copious amounts of joy and happiness, warm fuzzy feelings arose in him. These feelings, these emotions, were incredibly powerful and overwhelming to the point that he may cry…tears of joy.
The butterfly is the spirit of our loved ones. We must be reminded of our ancestors and we must understand that they too, are always with us…even in the otherworld.
It’s my mother…I just know it’s her. I can feel it…I can SEE it! This was unlike anything he ever could have imagined, it was as if he were getting a glimpse of what people believe to be the “Eye of God”. Seeing the world through the eyes of their “creator”...something that many wished to have but very few knew how to handle that type of power and knowledge.
We must move on. Your mother will always be in your heart, ever connected with your spirit as long as you allow it. And his guide continued, deeper in the jungle as Leno followed, letting the blue butterfly go free.
The next sound were those of Macaws cackling between each other. Brandon looked up and perched in the trees, a family of Macaws. Cackling ceased and the birds stared at the stranger and his guide.
What are you looking at dipshit?
Ah, keep on movin pal, nothing to see here. Wait? I know you...Brandon Leno right? Wow you're a piece of shit! You couldn’t hack it and now he came to hide. Don’t worry, that company is fine without you! You might as well just stay here forever. Nobody will miss you!
The shaman waved his hand at the Macaws and in one mystical swipe, made the birds vanish. The voices of your doubts. The voices that keep you up at night…these are the Macaws. Very vocal creatures. If you learn to harness the power, you can do as I have done.
Again, his guide went deeper into the jungle…and he followed. Screams arose again and the vibrant jungle again grew dim. The howlers appeared. Leno, forgetting what the guide had said about the howlers, fixated on them as they just circled around him as he had stopped walking. Suddenly, the howlers went wild with loud howls, pointing at the traveler. Leno looked down and crawling up his legs were two brown wandering spiders.
The wandering spider is one of the most aggressive and poisonous spiders in the jungle. They are dangerous because they hunt rather than make a web and lay in wait. Before he could react, the spiders had reached his chest. At once, each spider sank its fangs into his chest, injecting lethal doses of venom into his body. His skin began to burn as he ripped at his chest where the wounds sat. He let out a grotesque scream as he dug so deep that he began ripping flesh, causing the grotesqueness of the cries even more cringy. In the background he could hear the shaman chanting again and there the spiders stood watching him tear himself apart, from outside in, one male, one female. On their backs in a glowing red were JF/AG. This is the last thing he would see before the slow death that he had been living for the past two years finally happened. The chanting continued even when the last breath came out of his mouth and the spiders crawled inside his body…
“With death, there is always rebirth.” - Dipa Sanatani
TO BE CONTINUED
Day After Battlefield
He sat on the edge of the couch as the letter lay open, only kept from delicately floating to the floor by his thumb and index fingers.
It hurts that I have to write this letter, but for the health of my child I must. After that night you kicked me out of your apartment…I could see in your eyes that there was no getting through to you. I love you. I know it hasn’t been long but I have fallen in love with you Brandon…that is why this hurts so much. I can no longer be a part of your life. I was hurt once by a man who had fallen victim to his inner demons, I can’t watch it happen again. My daughter deserves better than that. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you truly find happiness, but I will always wonder about what could have been…goodbye sweet prince.
-Penelope
Three tears splash onto the paper before it is folded back up and slid back into the seal it had been delivered in. No title, no girl, no family left…he had nothing. Darkness…nothing but a black hole existed within his soul, sucking the hope and life out of it. His thoughts began to shift…”nobody would know you were gone or missed you if you disappeared. Torture and Pasternak are busy having a father-son moment fighting over the biggest bitch in the company and the fans will eventually forget…wrestlers like you come and go. Flash in the pan…he had the potential…oh well…next man up”
Rens had been vacationing in Miami when he got the first call. It was the landlord of Brandon Leno. She was concerned because he had not been home in two weeks and was wondering if he had heard from him (assuming the worst if he hadn’t). He replied that he had not seen or heard from him but he would check in to see where he was, also ensuring that she would get this month’s rent whether he returned home or not.
Call number two to his lawyer came about an hour later. This time it was Pooneil trying to find him. He and Rens talked but neither one of them knew where he was and he was not answering calls. Rens then called AW and got a similar answer…all they knew was that Leno texted HR and stated he was taking an “extended absence”. This concerned him and his friend. Never in his life has Brandon ever just peaced out without letting people know where he was going. Pooneil was nervous that something bad had happened, knowing the professional and mental issues he was having while Rens was worried that he was going to end up in some Mexican jail down in Tijuana.
The search had begun…
Amazon Jungle
Dr. Ethan Childs, an ethnobotanist from Berkely, a dear friend of Brandon’s mother had contacted him two weeks earlier. He asked Leno if he could handle a machete and a gun if needed and when Leno assured him that he could, the man of 67 years explained to Leno what he wanted. He had found a remote civilization in the Vale do Javari section of the Amazon Rainforest 20 years ago.
I want you to come with me this time. I think it would be wise on your part to come with me.
I’m flattered that you thought of me Ethan…I really am, but I’m kind of busy right now…
Ethan looked at Brandon with a sly grin…
Oh…yeah, I forgot the pro wrestler who is one step from the edge of falling into utter insanity. I can see it in your eyes boy…trust me, what you will witness down here, it's magical. Tell that company that you are taking some time because you suffered a dislocated shoulder or something…
And now there they were, cutting through the thick brush of the lush, and beautiful sections of the Amazon. Javari was one of the last areas that has not been poisoned by the hand of drug trafficking, illegal mining and forestry. It is protected by the Brazilian government. Because Ethan was an ethnobotanist he had gained access to this region, something that few non-indigenous people get an opportunity to do.
After hiking through the jungle for about 5 hours, they arrived at the village of the Blanco Jutai. Those who had remembered Ethan came and spoke to them in a language that he had never heard before. It was not a language of words but sounds. Ethan had spent 10 years learning enough to understand the more important messages being relayed.
During the final hours of daylight the village was hard at work preparing a fire for the night. Once nighttime fell and the fire raged, the shaman began to speak as two of his people prepared a concoction of herbs. Chants from the tribe would flutter intermittently. It was at this time a revelation had been made.
That drink is for you Brandon.
What?!?!?! Ethan what the fuck man?
Childs lays a calming hand on his shoulder attempting to reassure the bewildered man sitting next to him.
Listen, I know the struggles that you have been going through. I know about the nightmares…the voices…I think I can get rid of them, with that, Yage Javori. This is why I brought you here. This is the magic I was telling you about. Brandon…I think I have found the elixir…to heal.
Ethan…I’m adventurous…but this…I…can’t
For your mother, child…
How could he say no at this point? He was already down here with nowhere to go. If he didn’t accept the drink he would continue to watch his personal life self-destruct, crumble like an old, battered castle as the waves slowly wash the pieces into the sea. He had nothing to lose….he accepted the drink.
Minutes after swallowing he began to flush at the cheeks while saliva began to build up in his mouth. A feeling that was familiar yet foreign at the same time. Suddenly…he began to violently expel from his mouth and his anus. He seemed to be in no control over his bodily functions at this point. Colors began to appear on the ground as the vomit began to morph into a pile of snakes, but it wasn’t just the pile…snakes were coming out of his mouth. He could feel them coming out of his ears as the shaman faintly chants.
What the fuck is going on??? He tried so hard to stop but it was futile. He was not in control of it…someone or something, the shaman perhaps, had control of his body. He was just a bystander in his own flesh.
Once the last snake had been expelled his body began to violently shake and his head began to pound. A pressure that felt like his brain would break through his skull began to fill his thoughts and his nervous system. As this happened the shaman began to shout a series of sounds over and over again. This all led to a crescendo as he began to expel toxins from his body once again. This night was spent with his body becoming eviscerated as he cried in between expulsions. Why are you doing this to me?! He shouted repetitively, a reprieve would not come, Brandon Leno would not be saved that night.
The Following Day….
He slept all day, his body exhausted after the onslaught it took last night at the ceremony. His throat was sore from the acid in the vomit, but something was different. Something about him…was different.
Dude that wasn’t fucking magical last night. What the fuck Ethan? What the fuck was that? Ethan sat next to him in his hut.
My son, the only person that can answer your inquiries is the shaman. See, when these people take this journey that I’m trying to show you, they can easily get lost on the path. They need a guide, someone to help them through the darkness. The shaman, he is the guide. I don’t know why he made you go through what you did last night but I promise you Brandon…there was a reason for it. You must trust the shaman.
Ethan had no children. At a certain point, Dr. Ethan Childs made an unconscious decision to commit his life to his work. However, Brandon’s mother was like a sister to him so to Ethan, Brandon is part of his family. With a fatherly hand, Ethan Childs pulled up Brandon and led him to the shaman. Another fire was being built, there would be another ceremony tonight, as the sun fell and the moon rose, the second part of his journey would come.
Once face to face with the shaman, Brandon asked the man in a way that a child who had a bad experience would ask a parent why it happened to them. The shaman spoke and Ethan translated.
He says that your body needs to be cleansed. The snakes that came out were all the negative energy that you brought from the otherworld, what they call the outside world, therefore you must be purged to continue the walk. To take these walks, your spirit must be free of toxins and your mind must be clear from the thoughts of our world. Tonight, you will begin the walk.
Again, the village would soft chant at times around the fire as the liquid was being made. Two drinks were being made. Seeing this Brandon became alarmed as he shot a concerned glance at Ethan, but Ethan did not see him as he was chanting with the rest of villagers, staring into the fire as if he were in a trance, as if something had a hold of him. One bowl was given to him and the other bowl was given to the shaman. That’s when he remembered Ethan saying that the shaman is a guide, so he must take the drink too. They both drank. The same feelings began to arise and for a few moments Brandon shook in fear of having a repeat of the night before. However, when the moment came to start expelling like last night, a whirring sound kicked up within his ears as he stared at his guide, the shaman gazing back, looking into the naked soul of Leno.
At once, the whirring dissipated and Brandon looked around to see that everyone else had disappeared. Now it was only he and his guide as they began to walk into the jungle while a kaleidoscope of colors emerged, but this was different. He could not only see the colors but he could hear them as well, seeing sounds as the jungle life continued with their beautiful serenade.
A jaguar appeared with an ethereal beauty that he had never experienced before. The color of its fur, so vibrant that he could not find the words to explain any of this. He would later tell people that no word or words in the English language could ever accurately explain what he experienced that night. The jaguar approached Brandon and he wanted to scream and leap back as the majestical creature approached him, but he couldn’t move. He sighed sweet relief when the jaguar licked his hand, gently rubbing its face against him. Then he heard a voice. It was the shaman, but he could understand what he was saying.
This jaguar will be our protection, our armor against any unwanted predators. This jaguar will forever be with you now, even in the otherworld, its spirit will protect you from the negatives of the otherworld. They continued to walk deeper into the jungle.
The once vibrantly colored jungle began to succumb to a blackness that seemed to creep in ever so slightly, but just enough for him to catch an ominous feeling. The jaguar stayed firm at his side. Suddenly, drums, a violent rythmic beat grew louder and louder the further they walked in the jungle. Screams echoed throughout the trees in succession, short but wild bursts, followed by long howls. Coming through the trees were people…but they weren’t. Bodies of a homo sapien but heads of howler monkeys.
The howlers are meant to be a distraction to draw your attention from what lurks beneath the brush, on the floor of the jungle. When you see howlers, be very aware of your surroundings.
As they passed the howlers the array of vibrant colors arose again, revealing the natural beauty of the jungle around him. Flowers were brighter, the reds, purples, blues all glowed like they had never before. They were more vibrant than the common eye sense can interpret. A gorgeous blue butterfly flew onto an outstretched finger that had been gently caressing a flower. Instantly he became filled with copious amounts of joy and happiness, warm fuzzy feelings arose in him. These feelings, these emotions, were incredibly powerful and overwhelming to the point that he may cry…tears of joy.
The butterfly is the spirit of our loved ones. We must be reminded of our ancestors and we must understand that they too, are always with us…even in the otherworld.
It’s my mother…I just know it’s her. I can feel it…I can SEE it! This was unlike anything he ever could have imagined, it was as if he were getting a glimpse of what people believe to be the “Eye of God”. Seeing the world through the eyes of their “creator”...something that many wished to have but very few knew how to handle that type of power and knowledge.
We must move on. Your mother will always be in your heart, ever connected with your spirit as long as you allow it. And his guide continued, deeper in the jungle as Leno followed, letting the blue butterfly go free.
The next sound were those of Macaws cackling between each other. Brandon looked up and perched in the trees, a family of Macaws. Cackling ceased and the birds stared at the stranger and his guide.
What are you looking at dipshit?
Ah, keep on movin pal, nothing to see here. Wait? I know you...Brandon Leno right? Wow you're a piece of shit! You couldn’t hack it and now he came to hide. Don’t worry, that company is fine without you! You might as well just stay here forever. Nobody will miss you!
The shaman waved his hand at the Macaws and in one mystical swipe, made the birds vanish. The voices of your doubts. The voices that keep you up at night…these are the Macaws. Very vocal creatures. If you learn to harness the power, you can do as I have done.
Again, his guide went deeper into the jungle…and he followed. Screams arose again and the vibrant jungle again grew dim. The howlers appeared. Leno, forgetting what the guide had said about the howlers, fixated on them as they just circled around him as he had stopped walking. Suddenly, the howlers went wild with loud howls, pointing at the traveler. Leno looked down and crawling up his legs were two brown wandering spiders.
The wandering spider is one of the most aggressive and poisonous spiders in the jungle. They are dangerous because they hunt rather than make a web and lay in wait. Before he could react, the spiders had reached his chest. At once, each spider sank its fangs into his chest, injecting lethal doses of venom into his body. His skin began to burn as he ripped at his chest where the wounds sat. He let out a grotesque scream as he dug so deep that he began ripping flesh, causing the grotesqueness of the cries even more cringy. In the background he could hear the shaman chanting again and there the spiders stood watching him tear himself apart, from outside in, one male, one female. On their backs in a glowing red were JF/AG. This is the last thing he would see before the slow death that he had been living for the past two years finally happened. The chanting continued even when the last breath came out of his mouth and the spiders crawled inside his body…
“With death, there is always rebirth.” - Dipa Sanatani
TO BE CONTINUED