Post by Airborne on Mar 28, 2023 0:28:02 GMT -5
Karen’s Day
5:15 AM: “I woke up early, made sure no one stole my newspaper. Thanks to my efforts, no one did.”
6:00 AM: “Checked my lawn cameras for overnight activity. Those Raccoons ran through my lawn again. Next time, I’m calling Animal Control.”
6:30 AM: “Man walking dog. Man is white and his dog is small. Not an issue.”
7:10 AM: “The school bus drove by house nearing 26 MPH. I should probably call the school principal.”
8:01 AM: “Suspicious van just pulled up across the street. On the side of the van it says Amazon. Sounds like a fake company.”
9:15 AM: “Went to the grocery store. They didn’t accept my expired coupon. Made the 15-year-old cashier cry until she gave me the discount.”
9:20 AM: “Screamed at a homeless man to get a job. He said he was an employee gathering carts. I hate poor people; they lie so much.”
10:05 AM: “Confronted a local Mexican gang nearing my lawn; they claimed to be my neighbor's lawn service.”
10:10 AM: “My neighbor was too scared by the gang to answer their front door.”
10:12 AM: “Somehow the Mexican’s hacked my neighbor's talking doorbell and made it say that they are just workers, and for me to just go back home. Sneaky gang bangers.”
11:00 AM: “The Young and the Restless is epic these days.”
12:12 PM: “I went to McDonalds for lunch. I sensibly asked for the right amount of extra ketchup on my burger.”
12:18 PM: “When they got it wrong, I slammed my wrongly made extra ketchup burger on their counter!”
12:19 PM: “Finally I got a manager to talk to me and she had the gall to just offer me a refund.”
12:22 PM: “I let her know how mad I really was by knocking over Filet O’Fish promotional sign on my way out.”
1:30 PM: “I woke up from my daily nap by the sounds of a truck backing up.”
1:33 PM: “More gang activity in my neighborhood, now the Blacks were stealing washing machines.”
1:36 PM: “Just taking away the old washer is too convenient to be the truth.”
1:44 PM: “I stood bravely in front of the criminal's getaway vehicle. Home Depot written on the side of this van? Another fake company.”
2:02 PM: “I was about to call the police on them when I got a notification from that Nextdoor app.”
2:07 PM: “I commentated on a missing cat post by MamaKitty82. I reminded her to always make sure all doors are closed.”
2:10 PM: “I commentated on MamaKitty82’s response. I told her I was just trying to help.”
2:15 PM: “I reported user MamaKitty82 on the Nextdoor app.”
3:00 PM: “Headed to my local library to turn in my suggestions of books needed to be banned.”
3:07 PM: “A man honked at me when I didn’t move when the light turned green. I was busy texting my daughter career advice she didn’t request.”
3:13 PM: “The man started filming me with his phone, so I filmed him back.”
3:16 PM: “When he didn’t stop filming, I hit his phone out of his hand.”
3:21 PM: “He whined about assault charges after I hit his car’s hood with an umbrella. I only did it like 1 or 2, or 10 tens. He was a such a baby.”
4:01 PM: “Came out of the library to some old man in a wheelchair telling me I am not handicapped. I told him that it was the only parking spot available near the front of the library. He was very rude.”
4:45 PM: “Notice my neighbor’s new fence was on my property, so I began running into it with my riding lawn mower.”
4:55 PM: “Neighbor tried to show me some property line map. I explained to him I know the property lines better than him since I moved here before he did.”
5:01 PM: “I declared victory over the neighbor with new fence; heard him tell his wife they need to move.”
5:45 PM: “Ordered pizza for dinner, despite the Domino’s employee never hearing of my Karen special. Luckily, his manager said he knew just want to get me.”
6:16 PM: “Didn’t tip the driver since he was a minute late. He said some bull about the 30-minute delivery guarantee ended in the 90’s. This younger generation is so lazy.”
6:31 PM: “Pizza was good; however, it was covered in tiny curly brown alpha sprouts.”
7:04 PM: “Took basketball from the neighborhood children since they were dribbling so loud.”
7:22 PM: “Popped basketball with a butcher’s knife in front of children.”
8:01 PM: “Tried to watch Fried Green Tomatoes on cable, but the channel was out.”
8:35 PM: “Spent the last 30 minutes yelling at some cable company phone operator. He said I didn’t have the channel, he barely even listened when I told him how it was one of my favorite movies.”
8:51 PM: “I filled out the satisfaction survey after phone call with the cable company, when I hit submit, an error message popped up.”
9:05 PM: “Wrote a very detailed message to the cable company about the error message. When I hit submit my message, I got an error message.”
9:16 PM: “Just got off the phone with 911. They not only said they couldn’t arrest the cable company employees but if I called them again tonight, I would be the one in trouble. I hate this new woke world.”
10:00 PM: “I got a phone call from a man named Johnny Beckman. He said I should become a wrestler; that I have the right amount of passion, anger, and delusion to find a lot of success in the ring. Then he told me that he would be my manager, my guide, my savior.”
10:01 PM: “I told him, sounds like the first rational thing anyone else has said all day. I’m going to be a wrestler. Then he oddly said, ‘You’re Welcome’.”
5:15 AM: “I woke up early, made sure no one stole my newspaper. Thanks to my efforts, no one did.”
6:00 AM: “Checked my lawn cameras for overnight activity. Those Raccoons ran through my lawn again. Next time, I’m calling Animal Control.”
6:30 AM: “Man walking dog. Man is white and his dog is small. Not an issue.”
7:10 AM: “The school bus drove by house nearing 26 MPH. I should probably call the school principal.”
8:01 AM: “Suspicious van just pulled up across the street. On the side of the van it says Amazon. Sounds like a fake company.”
9:15 AM: “Went to the grocery store. They didn’t accept my expired coupon. Made the 15-year-old cashier cry until she gave me the discount.”
9:20 AM: “Screamed at a homeless man to get a job. He said he was an employee gathering carts. I hate poor people; they lie so much.”
10:05 AM: “Confronted a local Mexican gang nearing my lawn; they claimed to be my neighbor's lawn service.”
10:10 AM: “My neighbor was too scared by the gang to answer their front door.”
10:12 AM: “Somehow the Mexican’s hacked my neighbor's talking doorbell and made it say that they are just workers, and for me to just go back home. Sneaky gang bangers.”
11:00 AM: “The Young and the Restless is epic these days.”
12:12 PM: “I went to McDonalds for lunch. I sensibly asked for the right amount of extra ketchup on my burger.”
12:18 PM: “When they got it wrong, I slammed my wrongly made extra ketchup burger on their counter!”
12:19 PM: “Finally I got a manager to talk to me and she had the gall to just offer me a refund.”
12:22 PM: “I let her know how mad I really was by knocking over Filet O’Fish promotional sign on my way out.”
1:30 PM: “I woke up from my daily nap by the sounds of a truck backing up.”
1:33 PM: “More gang activity in my neighborhood, now the Blacks were stealing washing machines.”
1:36 PM: “Just taking away the old washer is too convenient to be the truth.”
1:44 PM: “I stood bravely in front of the criminal's getaway vehicle. Home Depot written on the side of this van? Another fake company.”
2:02 PM: “I was about to call the police on them when I got a notification from that Nextdoor app.”
2:07 PM: “I commentated on a missing cat post by MamaKitty82. I reminded her to always make sure all doors are closed.”
2:10 PM: “I commentated on MamaKitty82’s response. I told her I was just trying to help.”
2:15 PM: “I reported user MamaKitty82 on the Nextdoor app.”
3:00 PM: “Headed to my local library to turn in my suggestions of books needed to be banned.”
3:07 PM: “A man honked at me when I didn’t move when the light turned green. I was busy texting my daughter career advice she didn’t request.”
3:13 PM: “The man started filming me with his phone, so I filmed him back.”
3:16 PM: “When he didn’t stop filming, I hit his phone out of his hand.”
3:21 PM: “He whined about assault charges after I hit his car’s hood with an umbrella. I only did it like 1 or 2, or 10 tens. He was a such a baby.”
4:01 PM: “Came out of the library to some old man in a wheelchair telling me I am not handicapped. I told him that it was the only parking spot available near the front of the library. He was very rude.”
4:45 PM: “Notice my neighbor’s new fence was on my property, so I began running into it with my riding lawn mower.”
4:55 PM: “Neighbor tried to show me some property line map. I explained to him I know the property lines better than him since I moved here before he did.”
5:01 PM: “I declared victory over the neighbor with new fence; heard him tell his wife they need to move.”
5:45 PM: “Ordered pizza for dinner, despite the Domino’s employee never hearing of my Karen special. Luckily, his manager said he knew just want to get me.”
6:16 PM: “Didn’t tip the driver since he was a minute late. He said some bull about the 30-minute delivery guarantee ended in the 90’s. This younger generation is so lazy.”
6:31 PM: “Pizza was good; however, it was covered in tiny curly brown alpha sprouts.”
7:04 PM: “Took basketball from the neighborhood children since they were dribbling so loud.”
7:22 PM: “Popped basketball with a butcher’s knife in front of children.”
8:01 PM: “Tried to watch Fried Green Tomatoes on cable, but the channel was out.”
8:35 PM: “Spent the last 30 minutes yelling at some cable company phone operator. He said I didn’t have the channel, he barely even listened when I told him how it was one of my favorite movies.”
8:51 PM: “I filled out the satisfaction survey after phone call with the cable company, when I hit submit, an error message popped up.”
9:05 PM: “Wrote a very detailed message to the cable company about the error message. When I hit submit my message, I got an error message.”
9:16 PM: “Just got off the phone with 911. They not only said they couldn’t arrest the cable company employees but if I called them again tonight, I would be the one in trouble. I hate this new woke world.”
10:00 PM: “I got a phone call from a man named Johnny Beckman. He said I should become a wrestler; that I have the right amount of passion, anger, and delusion to find a lot of success in the ring. Then he told me that he would be my manager, my guide, my savior.”
10:01 PM: “I told him, sounds like the first rational thing anyone else has said all day. I’m going to be a wrestler. Then he oddly said, ‘You’re Welcome’.”