Spoiler Alert Clash and CruiserClash 3.6.23
Mar 3, 2023 15:49:15 GMT -5
via mobile
Karlie Nash likes this
Post by T.F.K. on Mar 3, 2023 15:49:15 GMT -5
[font color=”#f1e806”
Lights!
Camera!
ACTION![/font]
Live Crowd: “AC-TION WREST-LING! AC-TION WREST-LING! AC-TION WREST-LING!!!”
The godlike camera runs through the live studio audience while “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 plays leading to TFK walking onto the stage wearing his sharpest dark blue Armani suit with a red tie, an early throwback to his early US title campaign as an beacon of American Made and Freedom Bred. TFK pulls his hair back into a ponytail and smiles at the crowd on his way to his desk made of mahogany.
Craig Lewis: “Ladies and gentleman, you’ve been without a true voice of the people for far too long and you have been following this industry without a true trajectory… But I, Craig Lewis, TFK’s personal Theatrical Movie Voice Guy, am PLEASED to bring you YOUR DIRECTOR OF ACTION WRESTLING!”
The applause light turns on and the audience clap along and cheer for TFK, who basks in their admiration.
TFK: “Thank you, thank you everyone and thank you Craig for that brilliant introduction as always and yes we are AC-TION WREST-LING, BAY BAY!! And this is TFK’s SPOILER ALERT! We are so pleased to have you with us tonight as we run down the results of our ‘predictions’, deliver upon you a new SPOILER for next week’s Clash and CruiserClash, and we bring out a new guest for my Casting Couch!”
Craig Lewis: “I’ve got a guest for you that demanded to be on the show tonight, Thad.”
TFK: “Is that right, Craiger?”
Craig Lewis: “Yes, sir, as I said, they demanded it.”
TFK: “You got me sitting on pins and needles, Craiger…”
Craig Lewis:”Let’s just say, you’ll feel right at home with them.”
TFK: “Hmm… Interesting clue.”
TFK’s eyes widened.
TFK: “It’s not…”
Craig Lewis: “It’ll be okay, Thad, I’ll be here with you.”
TFK grinds his teeth.
TFK: “Craiger, you know this won’t end well…”
Craig Lewis: “It’ll be fine.”
TFK: “Yeah, we will see about that.”
The godlike camera pulls back getting Craig, Thad, and the Casting Couch into frame.
Craig Lewis: “Sorry sir, but it’s time to bring him out.”
TFK sits back in his seat.
Craig Lewis: “Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to Jefferson Franklin King, the CEO of J. King Studios and TFK’s father!”
TFK: “Oh god… Here we go.”
Craig shakes his head.
Craig Lewis: “Come on out, sir!”
Do ya think I’m sexy? by Rod Stewart plays and from stage left enters JFK dressed in a comfortableTommy Bahama linens, very casual and more laid back than he normally would. He nods to Thad and Craig before looking over the Casting Couch and sitting down.
JFK: “Son?”
Jefferson smiles and looks around to the live crowd for a second.
TFK: “Pretty casual attire you got there, dad.”
JFK: “Oh, you know just got back from my Hawaiian wedding to your new step mom.”
TFK: ”Heh, yeah sorry I missed that one, Dad. You do realize if you’re going to copy Leonardo Decaprio, you don’t marry them…”
Jefferson smirks.
JFK: “Touche, son, I’ll give you that one. You still wrestling around with greased up men in your underwear?”
Jefferson winks at Thad.
JFK: “Or what?”
TFK: "If you would’ve come to my Hall of Fame induction, you’d know that answer, pops. I’m a bonafide Action Wrestling Hall of Famer and I gotta say, I think our little show here is catching steam.”
Jefferson looks around confused..
JFK: “Where’s the ladies, son? It’s a goddamned sausage fest up in here.”
TFK: “You just missed the MILF-TOURAGE last week, now talk about fine wine kind of women. Woooo, man.”
JFK: “That doesn’t fix your issue here today, son… Do I have to do everything myself still?”
TFK: “Dad, I-”
Jefferson whistles and from stage left out walks Anna Bell Peaks and London Keyes dressed in skimpy construction girl outfits with tool belts and all.
Marie: “Aaah, that’s better. Come on over to the Casting Couch ladies, so I can show my son how to use this thing properly.”
Jefferson winks at Thad as the girls come to sit next to him.
JFK: “So fine, so fine… So, I saw your commercial for the hottest new show coming to HGTV, Pornstars Lend a Hand and I gotta say ladies… You ARE ALWAYS CAMERA READY. Amirite, son?”
TFK: “It was a hot commercial, for sure.”
JFK: “Having them on your little show, just bumped your ratings up.”
TFK’s nods.
TFK: “You’re probably right, dad.”
JFK: “So what is this little game you’ve been playing with your guests?”
TFK smiles wide.
TFK: “You really want to play my game?”
JFK: “Well, it’s why I’m here, son. I’m not here to make you feel inadequate next to me.”
Jefferson chuckles and the girls join in.
JFK: “So, tell me about this game of yours.”
TFK: “Well, you’ve heard of Fuck, Marry, Kill… I added a few more to it. It’s Marry, Fuck, Kill, Cuck, and Film… How about we use the US title contenders for this game for you?”
JFK: “Fine, we will play… Who are these contenders?”
TFK: “We have Jay Leno’s 3rd inbred cousin thrice removed Brandon Leno, The Olive Garden Endless Breadstick Destroyed Jonny Cedrone, My Golden Boy The President James Freedom, Action Wrestling’s Big Titty Goth Dommy Mommy Jessie Lee, and of course our US Champion the Demented Alice Gemini.”
JFK: “Well, son I thought you’d have more of a challenging list here. It’s pretty damn easy, especially for a professional like myself… But I’m going to talk to the girls here as well.”
Jefferson whispers to the girls and they reply back, causing him to laugh out loud, before returning his view back to TFK.
JFK: “Okay, we got it… We would Marry that Big Titty Goth Dommy Mommy Jessie Lee, because I bet she keeps that bedroom kinked. We’d Fuck Alice Gemini because crazy chicks are good enough for that. We’d Cuck Jonny Cedrone because his Italian Stallion ass could probably go the distance and these girls are already taking deep breaths thinking of him. We’d Kill that little Leno bastard and we’d Film James Freedom because that shit would come in handy later.”
TFK: “Wow, you weren’t lying when you said that was easy to figure out. I can see the lovely ladies had some major input there, dad.”
JFK: “You know what they say, birds of a feather flock to vagina.”
TFK: “Well I appreciate you all coming onto the show today, but we gotta move on to the next segment… Tell my new step mom, I said hi.”
Thad chuckles and Jefferson pulls the porn stars close, laughing out loud.
JFK: “I sure will… Girls, are you ready to shoot some Clitty Titty Gang Bang, or what?”
The girls jump up excited and Jefferson simply winks at TFK.
JFK: “God, it’s good to be The King.”
Jefferson and the girls walk off stage and Thad has to pick his jaw back up as he watches the girls walk by.
Craig Lewis: “Well… We do have a special gift for everyone again, so please take a gander under your chairs again at show’s end.”
The live studio audience cheers.
Craig Lewis: “Well Thad, I figure it is time to move onto your Spoiler Alert Predictions for this week’s show then, yeah?”
TFK: “Right, uh yeah, but before we get into that, I’d like the AW Universe to see the results of my previous prediction from Clash and CruiserClash Monday 2/6/23. Throw those results up on the screen, Stage Monkeys!”
Clash and CruiserClash 2/27/23 results
Clash 2/27/23
Main Event
Jake Paul & "ill" Jill Park vs. Addy A & Regan Voorhees
Winner: Addy A & Regan Voorhees
Keiji Ueno vs. Spencer Adams
Winner: Spencer Adams
Television Championship
Niobe Martin vs. Chase Jackson
Winner: Chase Jackson
#1 Contender to the United States Championship
Jonny Cedrone vs. Brandon Leno vs. Jessie Lee vs. James Freedom
Winner: James Freedom :I No contest
Tables Match
Ellie Austin vs. CJ Walker
Winner: Ellie Austin
Television Championship Play-In
Robby Bigg Dick vs. Niobe Martin
Winner: Niobe Martin
Television Championship Play-In
Tyler Walker vs. Chase Jackson
Winner: Chase Jackson
CBS Championship #1 Contender Battle Royal for Battlefield
Tatiana Jolee vs. Max Daemon vs. Holo Make vs. Mason Jones vs. (many other superstars!)
Winner: Tatiana Jolee
CruiserClash
Main Event
#1 Contender to the Cruiserweight Championship
Lazaro Vicente vs. Doc Holiday vs. Bryan Blaze vs. Punky
Winner: Bryan Blaze
Remy Nouveau vs. Wild Thing
Winner: Remy Nouveau
Non-Title
Alex Marley & Jaice Wilds vs. The Undrafted
Winner: The Undrafted
Azurine Vebbins vs. Leon Blackwell
Winner: Azurine Vebbins
Results: 9/11
Craig Lewis: “Wow, 9 out of 11, but I have faith in your abilities here, Thad. I know you will have a clean sweep with this next batch of matches?”
TFK: “Come on, Craiger, I am still a damned professional. Of course I will.”
Craig Lewis: “Do you all believe, Thad has it in him to redeem himself with a clean sweep this week?”
Live Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOO”
TFK: “See, they DO believe, now, Stage Monkeys bring it out!”
The geeky interns roll out a large dry erase board with all of the matches listed on it with names circled with Thad’s choices.
Clash and CruiserClash 3/6/23
Main Event
Alister McKissick & Ellie Austin vs. CJ Walker & Tatiana Jolee
Winner: CJ Walker & Tatiana Jolee
Reason: It pains me to put Ol’ Glass Jaw, CJ Walker over, but Tatiana Jolee plays on a whole other level and it makes me worry about Mr. McKissIT at Battlefield.
I Quit Match
Max Daemon vs. Roddy Zalez
Winner:Max Daemon
Reason: There’s no QUIT in Max Daemon, plain and simple.
Frank Patrick Venable vs. Joey Scala
Winner: FPV
Reason: Frankie is on a roll and he isn’t going to let Scala derail his momentum.
Tyler Walker vs. Niobe Martin
Winner: Niobe Martin
Reason: Niobe is looking to bounce back from letting the TV title slip through her fingers, but the girl’s got grit and she’s going to bring it to Tyler Walker.
Main Event
Lazaro Vicente vs. Doc Holiday vs. Jaice Wilds
Winner: Lazaro Vicente
Reason: The Golden Idolo is still pissed about losing out on an opportunity for the Cruiserweight Championship and he’s going to take out his ire on Doc Holiday and Jaice Wilds this week.
201 Championship Open Challenge
_____ vs. Remy Neaveau(c)
Winner: Remy Neaveau
Reason: Remy, my boy, you showed some underhandedness against Wild Thing last week, but you are definitely flexing that mean streak. Keep going, kid.
Azurine Vebbins vs. Alex Marley
Winner: Alex Marley
Reason: The kid is reeling from his losing streak and he’s probably begging his mentor for better direction, but I think he will finally inch out a victory this week.
TFK: “The Action Wrestling Universe has a hell of a Monday night for wrasslin coming up on our way to Battlefield and I know I’m really looking forward to it. How about you all?”
Live Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!”
Craig Lewis: “As the kids say, LET’S GO!!! Ladies and Gentleman, thank you as always for joining us on Action Wrestling's Spoiler Alert. That was your host TFK, (Insert Guest), and I am as always your loveable sidekick… Um hmm… (Theatrical Voice) CRAIG LEWIS!
TFK: “Check under your chairs, everybody! You guys are going to love this… NOW HIT THE MUSIC, STAGE MONKEYS!”
Moves Like Jagger from Maroon 5 starts to play as the live studio audience pulls out a US Weekly magazine out from under their chairs and TFK starts to dance his way to them pointing out the amazing custom cover.
As we fade out to black.