Spoiler Alert Clash and CruiserClash 2.27.23
Feb 24, 2023 15:53:11 GMT -5
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Post by T.F.K. on Feb 24, 2023 15:53:11 GMT -5
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Lights!
Camera!
ACTION![/font]
Live Crowd: “AC-TION WREST-LING! AC-TION WREST-LING! AC-TION WREST-LING!!!”
The godlike camera runs through the live studio audience while “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 plays leading to TFK walking onto the stage wearing his sharpest dark blue Armani suit with a red tie, an early throwback to his early US title campaign as an beacon of American Made and Freedom Bred. TFK pulls his hair back into a ponytail and smiles at the crowd on his way to his desk made of mahogany.
Craig Lewis: “Ladies and gentleman, you’ve been without a true voice of the people for far too long and you have been following this industry without a true trajectory… But I, Craig Lewis, TFK’s personal Theatrical Movie Voice Guy, am PLEASED to bring you YOUR DIRECTOR OF ACTION WRESTLING!”
The applause light turns on and the audience clap along and cheer for TFK, who basks in their admiration.
TFK: “Thank you, thank you everyone and thank you Craig for that brilliant introduction as always and yes we are AC-TION WREST-LING, BAY BAY!! And this is TFK’s SPOILER ALERT! We are so pleased to have you with us tonight as we run down the results of our ‘predictions’, deliver upon you a new SPOILER for next week’s Clash and CruiserClash, and we bring out a new guest for my Casting Couch!”
Craig Lewis: “I’ve got a very special guest for you tonight, Thad.”
TFK: “Is that right, Craiger?”
Craig Lewis: “Yes, sir, they should be on board this week anyway.”
TFK: “Interesting you got me sitting on pins and needles, Craiger…”
Craig Lewis: “I can’t get you a gold medalist, so hopefully this is just as good…”
TFK: “Nice clue.”
TFK winks at the godlike camera and flashes his Million Dollar smile.
TFK: “Obviously it’s not Karlie Nash.”
Craig Lewis: “I don’t have that kind of pull, Thad.”
TFK chuckles.
TFK: “Craiger, let’s be honest here… You barely have enough pull to please yourself at night.”
Craig Lewis: “You make a valid point…”
TFK: “It’s not fun when you just agree with me.”
The godlike camera pulls back getting Craig, Thad, and the Casting Couch into frame.
Craig Lewis: “Sorry sir, but it’s time to bring out The MILF-TOURAGE.”
Thad disappears under his desk and pulls out an economy size bottle of Jergens Lotion.
Craig Lewis: “Good god, Thad.”
TFK: “Hey, Jergens’s stock is going up TONIGHT, bay bay.”
Craig shakes his head.
Craig Lewis: “Ladies and Gentleman, let me introduce to you, The MILF-TOURAGE!”
Hot For Teacher by Van Halen plays and from stage left enters the MILF-TOURAGE all dressed in the tightest dresses they could find. Looks as if a leopard and a zebra got in a fight and all that was left is whatever the ladies are wearing. The four ladies find a seat on the Casting Couch and Thad is over the moon with excitement. Marie leans over the armrest of the couch, showing her assets to Thad and his head just about blows up.
Marie: “Soooo, what’s on your mind?”
Marie smiles and looks around to the live crowd for a second.
TFK: “You know how amazing you ladies are, right?”
Marie: “Of course, we wouldn’t be The MILF-TOURAGE if we weren’t, Mr. King.”
TFK: ”So, what does Karlie have that I don’t?”
Marie whispers to the other girls, before turning her attention to Thad.
Marie: “We all agree, she has PURE athleticism.”
Marie gives a quick wink.
Marie: “No knock to you, Mr. King, but she’s an Olympian for a reason.”
TFK: "I may not be an olympian, I do have going power, bay bay.”
The MILF-TOURAGE laugh together.
Marie: “I’m sure you say that to all the women, Mr. King, but we’re not looking for little boys who speak a big boy game. We want someone who knows how to give US exactly what we want. ”
TFK: That’s fair… Well since I have you fine women here, how about we play a game, that I call Marry, Fuck, Kill, Cuck, and Film... So, how about it, MILF-TOURAGE, are you game?”
The MILF-TOURAGE whisper to each other before looking to Thad.
Marie: “We’ll play.”
TFK: “Alright, we are going to a WOMEN’S version here… The five of my choosing are… Azurine Vebbins, Vandalia Valdez, Lissie Hope, Addy A, Jessie Lee… Please take your time, I’m sure the live studio audience is enjoying the show.”
The MILF-TOURAGE begin to whisper together and Marie nods along, before turning her attention to Thad.
Marie: “I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but you could’ve made it harder… Lissie Hope is by far the best choice to Cuck with, she’s selfish, so she will show the kind of power we enjoy in the bedroom.”
Marie winks at Thad..
Marie: “We’d fuck Vandalia, because hot latinas are soooo in right now. We’d Kill Jessie Lee, because, I’m sorry, but that gothy powerhouse chicks, is so 1990. That leaves us to Film Addy A with our girl Karlie Nash…”
TFK: “Don’t forget about Marry.”
Marie: “Azurine is such a fine girl and I bet she’d make the perfect Housewife, so we’d Marry her.”
TFK’s eyebrows lift.
TFK: “I couldn’t agree with you more, ladies.”
Marie: “We do thank you for letting us come on your show, Mr. King.”
TFK smiles wide.
TFK: “Oh believe me, the pleasure is all mine.”
TFK shares a smile with the MILF-TOURAGE.
Craig Lewis: “We do have a special gift for everyone again, so please take a gander under your chairs again at show’s end.”
The live studio audience cheers.
Craig Lewis: “Well Thad, I figure it is time to move onto your Spoiler Alert Predictions for this week’s show then, yeah?”
TFK: “Right, uh yeah, but before we get into that, I’d like the AW Universe to see the results of my previous prediction from Clash and CruiserClash Monday 2/6/23. Throw those results up on the screen, Stage Monkeys!”
Clash and CruiserClash 2/20/23 results
Clash
Main Event
The Final Singles Match
Sam Kidsgrove vs. Gerard Angelo
Winner: Sammy Kidsgrove
"The Light" Wesley vs. Corey Black
Winner: Corey Black :I no contest
Hardcore Championship
Joey Scala vs. Downfall(c)
Winner: Downfall
Brandon Leno vs. James Freedom vs. Jessie Lee
Winner:James Freedom
Frank Patrick Venable's Return
Mason Jones vs. FPV
Winner: FPV
Ellie Austin vs. CJ Walker
Winner: Ellie Austin
Keiji Ueno vs. Niobe Martin vs. Chase Jackson
Winner: Keiji Ueno
Television Championship
Tyler Walker vs. Addy A(c)
Winner: Addy A
CruiserClash
Main Event
Serenity Holmes vs. Zara vs. Punky
Winner: Serenity Holmes
Hotaka vs. Baba Yaga
Winner: Baba Yaga :I no contest
Doc Holiday vs. Wild Thing vs. J.C. Keeton
Winner Doc Holiday
Alex Marley vs. Lazaro Vicente
Winner: Lazaro Vicente
Results: 8/10
Craig Lewis: “Wow, 8 out of 10, but I have faith in your abilities here, Thad. I know you will have a clean sweep with this next batch of matches?”
TFK: “Come on, Craiger, I am still a damned professional. Of course I will.”
Craig Lewis: “Do you all believe, Thad has it in him to redeem himself with a clean sweep this week?”
Live Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOO”
TFK: “See, they DO believe, now, Stage Monkeys bring it out!”
The geeky interns roll out a large dry erase board with all of the matches listed on it with names circled with Thad’s choices.
Clash 2/27/23
Main Event
Jake Paul & "ill" Jill Park vs. Addy A & Regan Voorhees
Winner: Addy A & Regan Voorhees
Reason: HOOOOOTNESSSS, If Jake Paul wasn’t in this match, then I’d say Jergens’s stock would go WAY UP.
Keiji Ueno vs. Spencer Adams
Winner: Spencer Adams
Reason:
Television Championship
Niobe Martin vs. Chase Jackson
Winner: Niobe Martin
Reason: Just look at Niobe… You can tell she has the body for cardio and that’s what will win it this week having to pull double duty in that ring.
#1 Contender to the United States Championship
Jonny Cedrone vs. Brandon Leno vs. Jessie Lee vs. James Freedom
Winner: James Freedom
Reason: I gotta continue to back my Golden Boy and continue to crap all over Brandon Leno. LOL
Tables Match
Ellie Austin vs. CJ Walker
Winner: Ellie Austin
Reason: I will back Ellie all the way to the top, jack! CJ Walker is going to need a walker when she’s done with him and his glass jaw this week!
Television Championship Play-In
Robby Bigg Dick vs. Niobe Martin
Winner: Niobe Martin
Reason: I feel bad I went against her last week, so I’m going to redeem myself and stand behind her this week. Go get’em girl!
Television Championship Play-In
Tyler Walker vs. Chase Jackson
Winner: Chase Jackson
Reason: Can’t we all get behind Chase Jackson’s story of trying to do what is right for his family? Keep CHASING that american dream, kid.
CBS Championship #1 Contender Battle Royal for Battlefield
Tatiana Jolee vs. Max Daemon vs. Holo Make vs. Mason Jones vs. (many other superstars!)
Winner: Tatiana Jolee
Reason: This is a story she wasn’t looking for and that is her redemption story. She’s going to battle her way back to the title she let go and it is going to be magical!
CruiserClash
Main Event
#1 Contender to the Cruiserweight Championship
Lazaro Vicente vs. Doc Holiday vs. Bryan Blaze vs. Punky
Winner: Doc Holiday
Reason: Something about the way Doc carries himself… He is a champion through and through without even carrying a title.
Remy Nouveau vs. Wild Thing
Winner: Remy Nouveau
Reason: Remy is going to put on a wrestling clinic in there this week, hands down.
Non-Title
Alex Marley & Jaice Wilds vs. The Undrafted
Winner: The Undrafted
Reason: These kids may seem to have been a mismatch, but they were proving to be a true power duo.
Azurine Vebbins vs. Leon Blackwell
Winner: Azurine Vebbins
Reason: Da Damsel in Dat Dress and better than all the REST!
TFK: “The Action Wrestling Universe has a hell of a Monday night for wrasslin coming up and I know I’m really looking forward to it. How about you all?”
Live Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!”
Craig Lewis: “As the kids say, LET’S GO!!! Ladies and Gentleman, thank you as always for joining us on Action Wrestling's Spoiler Alert. That was your host TFK, the mouth watering MILF-TOURAGE, and I am as always your loveable sidekick… Um hmm… (Theatrical Voice) CRAIG LEWIS!
TFK: “Check under your chairs, everybody! You guys are going to love this… NOW HIT THE MUSIC, STAGE MONKEYS!”
Moves Like Jagger from Maroon 5 starts to play as the live studio audience pulls out a US Weekly magazine out from under their chairs and TFK starts to dance his way to them pointing out the amazing custom cover.
As we fade out to black.