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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 18:08:08 GMT -5
Pyro blasts inside the Smoothie King Center just outside of New Orleans and the crowd is hype!
Jimmy Garcia: WE JUST WITNESSED AN INCREDIBLE PURE CUP FIVE EVENT AND NOW ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF CRUISERCLASH!
They calm down as the music switches gears..
Lexi Stone: I'm so excited, tonig-
Just then, Karlie and Nikki Vaughn are in the ring with a microphone!
Karlie Nash: CUT THE BULLSHIT!
The crowd boos!
Karlie Nash: YOU SEE THESE RIGHT HERE?!
Nikki and Karlie tap on the two Championship belts they have on their shoulders!
Karlie Nash: These are the Junior Division Tag Team Championships from some regional airport and we won these 6 months ago!
The crowd boos.
Jimmy Garcia: The what?!
Lexi Stone: I've heard of those! They have a good Junior Division!
Karlie Nash: Some, come on Deathstars! GET ME A REF, You pieces of shit, come and take thes-
The crowd pops as The lights strobe on and off as Its Chicano Rap's Centro Side plays over the loudspeakers and the crowd reacts as Deathstars make their way through the curtain and onto the stage. Toxin kneels down and poses with both hands into a Deathstars gangsign as Cinta jumps over him and lands and kneels down like a bad Superhero and pyro blasts behind them.
Jimmy Garcia: OHHH MY GOD! THE DEATHSTARS ARE HERE!
They jump into the ring as a ref slides in and rings the bell!
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 18:14:38 GMT -5
Tri-Cities Regional Airport Junior Division Tag Team Championships Deathstars vs. Red White & Bruised(c)
DING DING DING! Jimmy Garcia: ANOTHER TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH!!Karlie and Nikki attack first with strong forearms and send Toxin and Cinta through the ropes to the apron and to the outside! Nikki and Karlie hit the ropes together and charge across the ring! Nikki flies through the ropes into a suicide dive where Cinta SUPERKICKS her in the head!! Karlie front flips over the top rope and Toxin powerbombs her on the mats to the outside! Jimmy Garcia: OHHHHH MY GOD!!Lexi Stone: HOLYYYY SHOOOOOT!!Cinta and Toxin pick up Nikki and roll her into the ring and slide in together! Toxin hits a superkick to her stomach and turns her around where Cinta jumps up and hits a hurricanana driver smashing her head into the mats! She stands straight up and down off her head and Toxin just picks her up and tombstones her into the middle of the ring! Lexi Stone: OH MY GOD!Karlie gets on the apron and Toxin and Cinta hit superkicks at the same time on Karlie smashing her off the apron! Cinta and Toxin pin Nikki! One! Two! Three! DING DING DING Jimmy Garcia: AND JUST LIKE THAT THE NEW JUNIOR TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ARE THE DEATHSTARS HOLY SHIT! Lexi Stone: AN OPEN CHALLENGE ONCE AGAIN IS THWARTED BY THE DEATHSTARS!!Jimmy Garcia: We might be living in a real dream age of Cruiserweight Tag Teams with the Deathstars! They have now won the Texas Tag Team Championships, the Cruiserweight Tag Team titles, the Mexico Tag Team Championships and now these Junior Division tag titles!They stand in the middle of the ring celebrating with the belts as Karlie is trying to sit up and two other officials check on her. Nikki is laid out in the middle of the ring! Jimmy Garcia: WHAT A SHOCKING START TO CRUISERCLASH! WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THESE COMMERCIALS!We fade to a commercial.
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 18:19:46 GMT -5
Backstage!
As the cameras cut backstage, we see Bryan Blaze walking down a hallway near the back of the building. Not dressed to compete, he is in a suit. He eventually reaches what looks to be the catering area. Blaze seems weary of interacting with anyone, following his embarrassing experience on CruiserClash one week ago, at the hands of CruiserClash GM Joey Bunga, and his former associate, Big Harper. “They ain’t ever got poutine, this is such bullshit.” He mutters to himself as he continues to browse, until he turns and notice Big Harper approaching him. His first instinct is to head the other direction but he stops, noticing the look on Harper’s face. Bryan Blaze: You look pathetic.The words seem to sting, with Harper looking at his feet. Big Harper: I’m sorry, Bryan.Bryan was a little surprised by the apology, and a laugh escapes before he can even really comprehend what his former heater said. Bryan Blaze: Pal, you’re sorry? What the hell do you expect me to do with that? Ever since I showed up in Action Wrestling, it has been Joey Bunga’s MISSION to destroy The Heritage. To finally kill what little Canadian pride remained. And guess what? Thanks to YOU, he did just that, last week. So I don’t give a shit if you’re sorry. You’re a DISGRACE and you proved everything you needed to me last week.Bryan digs in his pocket, and flicks a coin at Harper. Bryan Blaze: Why don’t ya go buy yourself a double-double or something. Pretend to be a prideful Canadian some more. Ya fuckin’ poser.With Harper still looking remorseful, Bryan turns and storms off and the camera turns back to Harper watching him walk away and Remy is standing behind him with a kendo stick. The crowd pops! Jimmy Garcia: OH BOY!Remy screams out in a popful roar and slams the kendo stick across the back of Harper! Another shot to Harper! He turns around and Remy is swinging like a madman! Lexi Stone: HES GETTING REVENGE FOR LOSING THE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!Harper is trying to cover up as Remy keeps swinging and making contact! 9, 10, 11 more times! Harper falls to a seated position against the wall as Remy goes to kick him in the head officials separate them and keep Remy apart! Jimmy Garcia: THE FORMER CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION HAD ENOUGH!!Lexi Stone: I think Big Harper was trying to make it up to Blaze.. but I didn't see Blaze helping Harper out there!Remy screams for Harper to meet him in the ring! We fade to a commercial.
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 18:30:58 GMT -5
Doc Holiday vs Wild Thing vs J.C. Keeton Jimmy Garcia: What a way to kick off CruiserClash, a shocking Tag Team title change and now we have Remy beating up Big Harper with a kendo stick!Lexi Stone: And look, all three superstars are in the ring! Doc just joined them! Jimmy Garcia: The first advertised sanctioned match, lets do this!Holidays music ends as he gets into the ring! DING DING DING Wild Thing charges at Keeton but is superkicked in the chest! Wild Thing bounces back and Holiday german suplexes him into the corner! Keeton comes over and chops Holiday and whips him to the ropes! Holiday bounces back with a springboard middle rope front kick to the head of Keeton! Jimmy Garcia: Whoa yeah!Holiday bounces up and back body drops Wild Thing onto Keeton knocking Keeton through the ropes out of the ring! Lexi Stone: Wow! 2 for 1 there!Holiday picks up Wild Thing and hits the MILLION DOLLAR SCREAM! LOCKS IT IN DEEP TOO! Jimmy Garcia: OH HE CANT ESCAPE THAT!Wild Thing taps! DING DING DING Jimmy Garcia: Doc Holiday wins! Doc Holiday is a winner here tonight!Wild Thing is hurt and thinks about his Gorilla wife and rolls to the corner. Holiday continues celebrating in the ring! Lexi Stone: Another victory for Holiday, he's moving up!Holiday has his arm raised as we cut- Lexi Stone: What is this?!Remy gets into the ring and has a pillowcase and drops it in the corner.. Remy Nouveau: BIG HARPER!! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!Remy paces back and forth as Holiday leaves the ring and is slightly offended that Remy just cut the celebration short.. we take a commercial break.
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 18:38:44 GMT -5
In The Ring!
Remy paces back and forth in the ring as finally Big Harper stumbles through the curtain .. Jimmy Garcia: Welcome back to CruiserClash and folks! That's former Cruiserweight Champion Remy who is in the ring and just earlier he beat the hell out of Big Harper with a kendo stick in the back!Lexi Stone: Then he called him out here for a fight and as you can tell, Danny Powers and the security are trying to stop Big Harper!Jimmy Garcia: And where is Bryan Blaze?! He left Harper high and dry! Lexi Stone: HE POWERBOMBED BLAZE LAST WEEK, JIMMY!Jimmy Garcia: HE TOOK THE MONEY!Harper slides into the ring and Remy just starts stomping and kicking on Harper as officials get into the ring! Jimmy Garcia: OHH HERE WE GO!!Harper shoves Remy off and gets to his feet and goes for a big boot but Remy ducks it and throws Harper shoulder first into the turnbuckles! Lexi Stone: OH MY GOD!Harper stumbles back to the middle of the ring knocking a few officials down as Remy reaches into the pillowcase and pulls out the 201 & Fun Championship! Jimmy Garcia: WHAT THE HELL!?The crowd pops and is loving every single second of this! Big Harper gets up.. Lexi Stone: WHERE DID HE GET THAT?! DID HE STEAL THAT FROM THE HALL OF FAME?!Remy smashes the 201 Championship into the head of Big Harper knocking him down and out! Jimmy Garcia: OHHH MY GOD WHAT A SHOT!!Remy grabs the ropes and shakes them violently as he's GASSED all the way fuckin' up and holds up the 201 Championship! Danny Powers is trying to keep him from attacking Big Harper anymore.. Lexi Stone: REMY IS LITERALLY BORN AND RAISED FROM RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD AND HE JUST GOT THIS CROWD ON THEIR FEET!Remy goes to the corner and holds up the 201 Championship as the crowd pops! Jimmy Garcia: LISTEN TO THE OVATION FOR THE FORMER CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!We fade to a commercial.
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 18:51:20 GMT -5
Alex Marley vs. Lazaro Vicente
We come back to CruiserClash and Lazaro is getting in the ring!
Lexi Stone: Lazaro Vicente was so focused and ready for this match, he came out during the commercial break! Alex Marley passes through the curtain, just fucking vibing to the music of MGK's Sublime RemiXX. He makes his way to the ring, dancing the whitest ways imaginable, while slapping the hands of every willing fan on the way down the ramp. As he gets in the ring, he taunts to the crowd and settles into the corner, laying across the top rope waiting for the match to begin. DING DING! Lazaro walks up to Alex in the center of the ring and slaps him across the face. Alex slowly turns grabbing his jaw. He quickly response with a forearm to the head, with a series of slaps, punches, and kicks. Lazaro stumbles backwards against the ropes and quickly launches himself off with a flying forearm. Alex taken off guard takes it across the chin. Alex stumbles backwards and Lazaro presses forward to keep the momentum but Alex quickly grabs him and drops to his back, slamming Lazaro’s face into his shin. Lazaro pops up and Alex kips up and grabs him by the side but is stopped and quickly hit with a suplex. Alex lands hard and continues the momentum and rolls out of the ring for a break. Jimmy Garcia: Where is he going? Doesn’t he know the match is taking place inside the ring? Lexi Stone: I believe the kids are calling this….. catching your breath…. Lazaro slides out of the ring in chase, but Alex quickly slides back into the ring. Lazaro frustrated, continues to follow, pops to his feet and is caught by an elbow from Marley. He moves forward with a series of vicious kicks and punches. After a few moments, he quickly slides in for a snap side suplex. He pulls Lazaro up to his feet and against the ropes and lands a devastating knife-edged chop across the chest, almost instantly creating a red mark on his chest. Alex quickly follows up while those watching is in shock, connects with an STO. Alex quickly rolls to his feet and slams into the corner, perched waiting for Lazaro to return to his feet. As soon as he begins to stumble up, Alex darts out of the corner and slams into him with the BFT! Lazaro flies back and slides out of the ring. Lexi Stone: What a beautiful set up and execution of the Blunt Force Trauma, but I think he may of miscalculated on his position inside the ring. Jimmy Garcia: Unless he wants a count out, he better figure a way to get his opponent back inside the ring!
Marley slides out of the ring and picks up Lazaro and slides him back into the ring and slides him back into the ring and Valdez grabs the leg of Marley! The official comes over and tells her to knock that shit off and Marley gets to his feet and Lazaro rolls him up from behind! Jimmy Garcia: WAIT A MINUTE!One! Two! MARLEY KICKS OUT! Lexi Stone: OHHH!!Marley indeed kicks out and Lazaro stumbles to the ropes where Valdez hands him something, and Marley comes over and Lazaro ducks the knee and from behind smashes the .. whatever.. is in his hand into the back of the head of Marley! Jimmy Garcia: OHHHHH Lexi Stone: HE HAD SOMETHING IN HIS HAND!Jimmy Garcia: ARE YOU SURE?!Lazaro pins Marley! One! He throws it over to Valdez!Two! Three! DING DING DING
Lazaro gets up and celebrates!
Jimmy Garcia: Lazaro wins! A HUGE win for Lazaro tonight!
Valdez slides in and jumps into his arms and they embrace as the official raises his arm but the two fall into the corner!
Jimmy Garcia: I think you might be on to something! She slipped him brass knuckles or a roll of quarters or something!
Lexi Stone: I'm tellin' ya! She was a HUGE assist!
Marley is barely coming to as the official is checking on the back of his head.
We take a commercial as Lazaro is pounding on his chest!
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 18:57:29 GMT -5
Backstage With Serenity!
The Smoothie King Center in New Orleans has the pride and joy of seeing Serenity Holmes in the locker room putting on the final accessories of her in-ring attire. The live broadcast, plus the background noise of audience cheers, adds to the authenticity of the main event's importance for CruiserClash. She's highly focused on the match, especially after the promo she gave for the world to see. However, there has to be more to what was said hence why this segment, spearheaded by Action Wrestling's backstage interview and personnel, Jade Riley, has entered into the fray catching Serenity's attention. Jade Riley: Serenity Holmes, you're about to main event CruiserClash again in a triple threat match against Zara and former Fite Queens Champion, Punky. Tell us, how do you feel on the verge of the main event?Serenity lifts her head after tightening the laces on her boots and looks at Jade, holding the microphone close to her. Then, she stands up and puts on her leather jacket, followed by her black hat. Serenity Holmes: How do I feel? It's simple, Jade. I feel fantastic! I'm here in Los Angeles, and you're telling me I'm the main event again twice in a row? That's how things are supposed to be done, but I'm not worried about Zara and Punky; I'm thrilled they're my opponents for tonight. I want Joey Bunga to understand that I said what I said this week. There's a lot of speculation as to what I meant when I said we have two women who hasn't held the women's championship, complaining they both should be awarded the opportunity to face Lissie Hope, but I know who has the best chance of meeting her. Me!Jade nods, and the audience is heard chanting her name in the background. Serenity Holmes: But understand this, Jade, I'm not letting up tonight. I need to get my head back in the game, and I've decided to start where my roots were grown. Hey Lissie, I hope you're watching this, sister, because tonight, I announce my path to getting my championship rematch for the Action Wrestling Womens Championship. I want you to watch tonight what I do to Zara and Punky. Watch closely and understand that the championship you took from me at CruiserHavoc will be coming back around my waist again!Serenity slams her locker door shut and storms out of the locker room. Jimmy Garcia: The main event is still to come! Lexi Stone: Did she say we were in Los Angeles?!Jimmy Garcia: She might be concussed, Lexi.
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 18:58:19 GMT -5
Baba Yaga v Hotaka Jimmy Garcia: Last week, we saw GM Bunga promise Hotaka a match against the woman who has been plaguing him for weeks now.Lexi Stone: I’m honestly not convinced this is a good idea for Hotaka…Jimmy Garcia: You might have a point, Lexi, but he has to answer what’s been happening lately! I mean, this Baba Yaga has been under Hotaka’s skin since Gold Rush!Lexi Stone: Under his skin? Hell, you could say she’s been walking in it! Hotaka has been nearly catatonic, Jimmy!Jimmy Garcia: All the more reason for Hotaka to take a stand!Lexi Stone: But can he? It’s sure looked like he’s in the car, but someone else is behind the wheel!Homura by Wagakki Band hits and the guitar riff causes a huge crowd reaction inside the arena. The lights turn to blue and orange as the spotlights hit the stage and the ActionTron slowly fades in with HOTAKA. At 30 seconds when the music hits, the lights and music stop completely. Lexi Stone: It’s pitch black again! Baba Yaga is up to something; I can feel it!As the lights come back, Hotaka is standing in the ring holding the antlers he’s been lugging around since Gold Rush. Jimmy Garcia: Oh no! Hotaka is still under her spell! FIGHT HER OFF HOTAKA! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE SPELL!Hotaka swiftly turns toward Jimmy and a creepy smile crawls across his face. Lexi Stone: He heard you, Jimmy! God that makes my skin crawl!A strobing red light and smoke begin to fill the stage as the rest of the house lights go dark. Lexi Stone: SHE HEARD YOU, TOO!“Raven” by Kittie starts and as the bass line builds to the guitar and vocals, the crouched figure of Baba Yaga crawls out onto the stage lit only by the blood red strobe lights. She pauses and stares into one of the ramp cameras as the strobe light turns a solid red. Her eyes are entirely blacked out with no irises to be seen, and her clothes are tattered and worn. Jimmy Garcia: She doesn’t have her antlers!Lexi Stone: I imagine she’s just got the one pair and Hotaka has ‘em! Each motion the mystery woman makes toward the ring is a slow, deliberate one that strains her body in unusual positions until she breaks into a full sprint from her position on all fours. All the while, Hotaka just watches her with dead, distant eyes, and she leaps onto the apron and under the bottom rope of the ring. She slides in on her belly and crawls with her arms toward Hotaka as the house lights come back up. Lexi Stone: Is she demanding Hotaka return the antlers?!Baba Yaga: M̵̰͘y̶̪̍ ̷̻͛c̶̩͂r̷̫̈o̵̖͐ŵ̷͙n̴͝ͅ!Hotaka bends at the waist and gently, reverently places the “crown” of antlers upon Yaga’s head. Immediately, it’s as if the witch’s spell is broken, and Hotaka returns to his usual state. Jimmy Garcia: There he is! There’s Hotaka!Lexi Stone: What the hell is going on?! What kind of power lies in that crown?!Yaga rises to her feet and slowly walks back to the center of the ring as the referee timidly calls for the bell. DING DING DINGJimmy Garcia: AND THIS ONE IS UNDER WAY! Hotaka charges Yaga, and just as he’s about to make contact with Yaga, the lights go black again! Jimmy Garcia: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!Lexi Stone: What the hell is going on with these lights?!When the lights come up, Hotaka is firmly locked in Yaga’s Mandible Claw! Lexi Stone: IT LOOKS LIKE SHE’S ATTEMPTING TO RIP HIS DAMN SKIN OFF! MY GOD!Jimmy Garcia: STOP THIS, REF! DON’T LET HER CONTINUE THIS SKINRIPPER! CALL FOR THE BELL!The lights go out again briefly. When they come back up, the ring is empty except for the befuddled referee who shrugs. Lexi Stone: What do we do now, Jimmy?! They’ve both disappeared!The referee calls Ethan Miller over to the ring apron and passes a message to the ring announcer. Miller processes the message and then delivers it over the PA for the audiences in attendance and at home. Ethan Miller: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that because both competitors have apparently disappeared, this match has been declared a NO CONTEST!The crowd boos heartily as the lights flicker between the normal house lights and those with a red tint. Jimmy Garcia: Eventually, she has to be present for an entire match, doesn’t she, Lexi? Lexi Stone: Jimmy, I don’t get the impression she has any interest in the honor of competition or the rules of Action Wrestling! I have NO IDEA what to expect from this wild woman!The lights go out completely again, and when they return, they do so in a full blood red shade and Baba Yaga stands immediately behind the referee. Jimmy Garcia: LOOK OUT! SHE’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!Yaga grabs the confused referee by the shoulder and spins him around before driving a foot into his midsection. He doubles over and Yaga grabs his arms, driving him forward into position for a rudimentary double underhook piledriver! She lifts the referee up and drives him into the mat where his apparently lifeless body crumples into a loose pile. Lexi Stone: OH GOD! IT’S DYATLOV PASS ALL OVER AGAIN! MAYHEM AND DESTRUCTION ABOUND, AND THERE’S NOTHING LEFT IN BABA YAGA’S WAKE BUT BATTERED, BROKEN BODIES!Jimmy Garcia: WE NEED IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ASSISTANCE TO RING SIDE! THE REFEREE HASN’T MOVED AT ALL SINCE YAGA SPIKED HIM INTO THE MAT!Baba Yaga hovers over the fallen referee, caressing his face one moment and clawing his skin the next. Lexi Stone: We’re going to get medics out here as soon as their safety is certain, but we’ll go backstage to see what’s happening in GM Joey Bunga’s office!
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 19:08:26 GMT -5
Backstage with Bunga!
We open up to the office of the General Manager, Joey Bunga as he turns around when his door is opened! Joey Bunga: Yes?!Lazaro Vicente: I deserve Cruiserweig-Joey Bunga: ight, ight, ight listen up! I already decided somethin'.. Next week there will be a #1 Contendership to the Cruiserweight Championship! So don't even start!Lazaro nods as Powers walks into the office.. Danny Powers: Sir, he's here!Remy walks in with the 201 Championship on his shoulder.. Remy stares Lazaro up and down as Valdez holds out her hand into the face of Remy and he just dismisses it with his finger tips and waves her off. Lazaro stays in place looking tough as Bunga speaks up! Joey Bunga: Listen, where did you even get that Championship!Remy Nouveau: I'm the 201 Champion, believe that!Joey Bunga: Nah d-BIG HARPER BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR AND STARTS CLAWING AT REMY AS OFFICIALS AND POWERS GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM! Jimmy Garcia: WHOA THIS IS NOT OVER!!Big Harper is being held back as Remy is swinging the 201 Championship around standing his ground as Lazaro is yelling in Spanish at everyone.. Lexi Stone: THIS IS INSANE!!Joey Bunga: OUTTA HERE!! EVERYBUDY OUTTA HERE DAMN IT!!The scene fades out.
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 19:27:05 GMT -5
Main Event Serenity Holmes vs. Zara vs. Punky
Zara is in the ring and you can tell she just cut a dusty fuckin' Alex Jones promo cause this crowd is fuckin' HOT and booing her! Jimmy Garcia: Welcome back to CruiserClash, main event three way here!8 KALACAS - R2RITO hits and the crowd immediately stands on their feet popping out their chairs and rocking out! Punky comes through the curtain and walks to the top of the ramp with swag and confidence. Her tongue sliding out of her mouth as she looks to her left and right and flexes on her jacket pulling it off her shoulders almost in front of her. Ethan Miller: INTRODUCING FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK CITY... PPPUUNNKKYYYY!!Punky poses both fists out in front of her as she has gold rings on her left hand and her right hand with brass knuckles that say PUNKY across them. She comes down the ramp as the crowd is head banging to the theme song! Punk gets to the bottom of the ramp and just runs into the ring, sliding underneath the bottom rope and rolling to her feet. She gets up by walking backwards to the hard cam, quickly spins around and flexes and pulls on her jacket again as the crowd marks out! She takes the jacket off and leaves it over the top rope as she backs into her own corner ready for the match to begin. "Synthetic Sympathy" by Trash Boat immediately explodes from the arena's surrounding systems, sparking a positive reaction from the audience. The bass and repeated opening lyrics synchronize with the lights flashing around the venue's interior, leading to Serenity Holmes sprinting from the backstage area to center stage, where the fans of the Action Wrestling universe greet her. She stands center stage before taking off her hat and throwing it into the fans for amusement until looking down the entrance path, where she takes off into a run for the mere moment of interactions on her fast-paced run to the ring. Ethan Miller: "Introducing on her way to the ring! Hailing from Houston, Texas! At five feet, seven inches tall, weighing in at 127 pounds. She is "22nd Century Girl" Serenity Holmes!"Serenity slides under the bottom rope before unloading onto her feet, where she quickly hops onto the middle turnbuckle of an unoccupied corner to greet the fans at ringside. She flips her hair and throws up a peace sign with her tongue hanging out while winking at the camera. Serenity hops down and lands on her feet before running around the ring to show love to every possible fan in the atmosphere before staying in her designated corner, waiting for the next moment to happen. DING DING DING Zara comes over and hits a german suplex on Serenity when she hella talked shit on Punky! Zara gets up and catches Punkys right and turns her around and hits a German suplex on that bitch too! Jimmy Garcia: Ohhh back to back suplexes!Serenity gets up and is shoved into the corner as Zara charges at her but Punky catches her and spins her around 180 into an exploder suplex! Punky pins! One! Zara gets a shoulder up! Punky gets to her feet and catches Serenity and turns her around and hits an exploder suplex! Jimmy Garcia: OHH!Lexi Stone: I thought she was gonna win it there a second ago!Zara is up and grabs Punky from behind and rolls her up! One! Punky kicks out and Zara and Punky get to their feet immediately and Serenity hits a dropkick! Except, Serenity dropkicked Punky out of the ring! She falls off the apron! Jimmy Garcia: LOOK OUT!Zara is lifted up into the air and Serenity hits a snap brainbuster in the ring! She covers! One! Two! Punky drags Serenity out of the ring! Jimmy Garcia: Saved it!Serenity blocks the right hand and kicks Punky in the stomach and then throws her into the ring post! Punky crashes and burns! Serenity jumps to the apron and then to the top rope and hits a corkscrew plancha taking Zara down! Jimmy Garcia: What a move!Lexi Stone: She's flying around!Serenity springboards to the top rope on the other side of the ring and hits a double foot stomp to the back of Zaras head! Jimmy Garcia: Red Bottoms!!She turns Zara over and pins! One! Two! Three! DING DING DING
Jimmy Garcia: Serenity Holmes is a winner!
Punky slides into the ring and is too late!
Lexi Stone: Punky almost had it saved but it's Holmes! Serenity Holmes is victorious tonight and you heard her earlier, she called out Womens Champion Lissie Hope!
Jimmy Garcia: The Pure Cup Five winner Lissie Hope!*
Serenity is getting her arm raised as Punky is cussing in the corner..
Lexi Stone: Serenity is a winner and is back on track and if her sights are truly set on the Womens Championship then look out!
Jimmy Garcia: You can never keep a Holmes down for too long!
Lexi Stone: Now, it's time for our final commercial break but we heard the Cruiserweight Champion Zombie McMorris is in the building!
We cut to ZMac talking to two producers in the back as they congratulate him!
The crowd fucking POPS!
Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC IS COMING TO THE RING, NEXT ON CRUISERCLASH!
We take the final commercial.
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Post by Action Reel on Feb 20, 2023 19:46:26 GMT -5
A Celebration Of The New Champion
“ Woolly Bully” By Sam the Sham & The Pharaohs hits the PA system.
Lexi Stone: What is this? WHO is this?
Some fans are confused and those in the know- they know.
Jimmy Garcia: I don’t know but I think that's ZMAC up there in the crowd.
Sure enough, the NEW CW CHAMP is up in the crowd, singing his black heart out to WOLLY BULLY as he makes his way through the crowd..
ZMAC: Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw
Had two big horns and a wooly jaw
Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully, yeah drive
Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully
CROWD: WOOLLY BULLY!!!
Lexi Stone: I don't get it, then again, I didn't get anything about ZMAC.
ZMAC: Hatty told Matty, "Let's don't take no chance
Let's not be L-seven, come and learn to dance"
Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully
Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully
ZMAC hits the barrier as the bridge kicks in. He hops over and grabs a mic. He tosses the belt over the ropes and rolls into the ring. He sits criss-crossin the middle of the ring with the CW Championship on his shoulder. *
Jimmy Garcia: We’re about to be joined by the NEW CW Champion, Zombie McMorris after he beat Remy last week due to that attack by Big Harper.
Crowd: ZMAC ZMAC ZMAC!!
ZMAC: Now, before Ol’ Z starts, know that Tort-a-leeni - au-fresco told ya boi that he needed to cool the jets with the expensive music rights. Heaven Forbid the World Champion get put to work in the salt mines. So if’n yall want to hear more dop hawtness every week, go out and watch Tremors Eight; streaming LIVE starting MARCH THIRD! * ZMAC lays the championship down in front of him. * ZMAC: Ol’ Z knows that he aint scheduled to be here tonight but ya’ll know that Honey Badger is DTF anyway of the week. That aint why Ol’ Z is here doe. Now, I don’t say this often or to this many people – let alone all at once but each and every one of you here in this area and every area that I’ve been in since I came back and to all of you out there watchin from your couches or streaming from the train ride, car ride – what-have-you. Ol Z just wants to say….
Thank you.
If it was not for you and your collective responses at the CW Havoc Rumble, ol Z would not be here today, let alone be holding this championship belt. Now, I used to say that only Zombie McMorris could end the career of Zombie McMorris and Jam Willy came down and was like: ‘Bet, son;” yet it was all of you that brought me back. Ya’ll brought me back like ya’ll was Sam the Sham. Zombie McMorris is here before all of you, Re-Z-Reckt’d -> cuz all you made that joint happen and trust me when I tell you Ol’ Z gone say it again cuz ol’ Z aint too proud of the pride or pride of the proud to tell you to your face. Cameraman, get the close-up of this.
THANK YOU.
Three years, I was Persona non Ragu di Agnello and now on the fifth anniversary of the CW division – Ol’ Z holds the strap because ya’ll. Ol’ Z int the first CW champ but Ol’ Z was a pillar because ya’ll.
THANK YOU
For my entire career, Zombie McMorris has made moments. Ol’ Z done made memories, spectacles, and spades. I’d be lyin if’n I told you that it was all for you and ol’ Z can speak no lies: none of that was for you. However - however - ya’ll been down for the ride since before it had wheels and that's what we have here today -> an unstoppable freight train of charismatic venom. So ya’ll can tune into Clash. Ya’ll can watch Torts little pecker project. You can tune in to see Jill Park. Or Downfall or Jolee and Ol’ Z couldnt blame you. But they will.
OR
You can tune into see Cruiser CLASH in its fifth and most prosperous year helmed by what everyone back there will call the most pro-post-ture-ous champion this side of Lissie Hope cuz every week that I hold this belt, I’ll be right here in the middle of this ring wrestling or right here right now -> talking to all of you. Bein as real as real gets cuz it doesn't get any more real than all of you. It's the fakes, the frauds, the phonies and the fetishizers of the fantasy that are back there pretending to be what they aint.
But cha’ll know who I be. Cha’ll know what it is Zombie McMorris is about.
Makin Moments and Kililn Dreams.
You heard Ol’ Z tell Remy last week that ain't no one gone remember him. Ain't no one gone remember him for last week or anything that he did. It was ZMAC who had KISS. It was ZMAC who made HER-STORY when he got his hands on CW title number two on that fifth-year anniversary and Rermy got kicked in the face by who-ever-the-fuck Big Harper is. Them the breaks Remy. Bryce Dallas Blaze wanted no smoke and you were dumb enough to face the fire.
Speaking of HER STORY though, Lissie Hope had to pop on by.Crowd: LISSIE LISSIE
ZMAC: And I get it. Ol’ Z understands. This is the one belt you aint got. Ol’ Z knows how much that chaps your mons-pubis because you want to make HER STORY. You’re a belt collector, Lissie. That's cool. You collect belts cuz you cant make memories.* ZMAC lays down on his back as the camera view switches to a top down. * ZMAC: You. Teo Blaze, Franky V, Odin Bal-* ZMAC sit back up. * ZMAC: Whoops. Sorry folks, Ol’ Z almost fuckin swore on live TV. But that's just it, Lissie, you collect belts because you can't make memories.Neither could Odin Balfore. Not Without Michael Santiago. Not without Dangertainment. Not with Ryan Blake, Steve Orbit, Corey Black, Natty ICE Beckman, Bobby Cairo - a god damn honest to goodness Racoon, and even ME! Ol’ Z knows that he’s Persona non Malloreddus alla Campidanese but Odin Balfore -> that's just a name that we don’t say and no Lissie, I’m not comparing you to Odin fuggin Balfore -> I’m saying you’re a worse, more insufferable version of him because at least there are no other seven foot idiots walking around the back.
However, babygirl,
There's alot more Lissie Hopes.
I’ll even do you the solid and not include my sister in-law on this list but you arnt even the best Lissie Hope belt mark in this company.
Jolee, that's one.
Gemini, That's two.
Jill Park, shes world champion - that's three.
So while you’re across the street, trying to “pure” champion Jill Park is busy being THE CHAMPION.
You’re the Womens Champion, shes the world champion. Check you’re privilege at the door, thank you very much.
At least Nash and Vaughn have the self-awareness to know their trash and stick to ADUBS Mexican bush league.
We got Reagan Vorehees
Claire Hawkins. At least shes dope.
You’re a partner in Swallowing, Addy A. At least shes the TV Champ, and like her throat, it’s rated E for every dick this side of the Congo.
Roy Speede, we cant forget about her. He’s back.
Remember that the next time you want to lip off. Remember that the next time you collect some straps, put that trainin bra on and get to fuggin work cuz you on the wrong side of twenty-five and you goin DOWNFALLl fast if’n you thought tippin your hat to Ol’ Z was a smart career move. So go look at Balfore, who everybody detests and know that's you. Kow that Alex Richards-> His fellow Enforcer -> that Guardian piece of fucking reprehensible trash heap could have tagged with him three weeks ago but instead was like: Nah, I’mma go hang with Logan's kid.
That's you, baby gurl. That's you faster than you can spell meta-pause. You fuckin Boodle ass bitch.
I’m rippin you to shreds in the very first face promo I ever did pull and it's fuggin easy.
Tort dont even fuggin care what you got to say about this verbal beatdown because Jill Parks his new Shiney Toy Syndrome. While you’re next door -> next gawd damn door tryin to be the ‘Pure Champion’, tryin to add to HER STORY but HER STORY is JILL PARK and YOURS is old news.
Now, you could say that Ol’ Z is outta pocket but wheres the lie -> cuz ol’ Z don’t lie.CROWD: TRUST ME!
Ol’ Z just came back. You think he got a dog in your fight.
Ash Blake.
Sorry, Lissie. We’re just piling it up and you could say that ol’ Z is just naming women.
Yah, that's the point. Women better than you.
If you want to stat pad your name into the books and the hall, at least have the decency to shave the points like the Refs at the Superbowl or Pete Rose in the MLB. They don’t even think about him that was like forty years ago. Or go into a fuggin Coma like Jay Price. Maybe you both can share the best gimmick.
Hello, can you hear Ol’ Z up in this joint?
Ol’ Z makes moments they put on the highlight reels. Ol’ Z kills the Dreams of the would-be dreamers. Lissie Hope, you don’t know it but you’re dead too and just like Balfore you’re too damn proud to admit it. Not Ol’ Z though. Like I said -> Not too proud for the pride or pride for the proud. Raw, dirty, and unfiltered and it kills yous that Ol’ Z can sit here in the middle of the ring, CW title on the mat, and light you up on the mic while you’re next door stinkin’ up the joint because the only thing you can do is collect trinkets while Ol’ Z is the heart and soul of this company and it eats you up.
Ever since I school boy’d Tort like eight years ago for the WCF Hardcore belt, that duder been a changed man - a humbled man perhaps - but a changed man nonetheless.
So perhaps Ol’ Z is to blame for Tort lettin people like you trickling into wrestling but Lissie Hope - be careful what chu wish ‘fore, Lissie Bitch’fore cuz you gone get it and unlike Ol’ Dirty Balfore, These boney hands put the fuggin work in -> as you can see.
So reconsider your options. Its already to late for you to die, the darling apple of Torture's goofy, lazy eye, but it’s not too late for you to avoid become Odin fuggin’ Balfore.
I’m sorry Lissie. Don’t come to work against Ol’ Z cuz Ol’ Z aint his fuggin damn self.
Now someone come cool off this mic cuz that's the first lie I ever told.Crowd: TRUST ME
* ZMAC blows on the mic, like he’s putting out a candle before snatching up the CW belt and rolling out of the ring, as a ring hand gets in the ring with a fire extinguisher and sprays down the mic. * Jimmy Garcia: WOW…“When Doves Cry” hits the PA system as ZMAC puts the belt on his shoulder and hops back into the crowd. Jimmy Garcia: ZMAC had a LOT to say about the Women’s Champion and the new Pure Cup Champion!ZMAC hikes up the stairwell, slapping hands with all of the fans until he gets near the exit door to the concourse. His theme music is still blaring as he raises his arms to the crowd! Jimmy Garcia: WHAT A WAY TO END CRUISERCLA—The sound of the music cuts off without a notice, and the crowd gets antsy with anticipation, wondering what’s happening. Lexi Stone: Not so fast, Jimmy! I don’t think we’re done yet!ZMAC looks on with confusion but then the sound of “Her” by Megan thee Stallion hits the speakers and the crowd ignites! ZMAC has a grin on his face as he watches the curtain, waiting for Lissie Hope to arrive! Jimmy Garcia: She’s here, Lexi! It’s her! It’s Lissie Hope!Lexi Stone: She must have heard everything this man had to say about her! And earlier tonight, she picked up her first Pure Cup of her career!And when the crowd finally separates, the crowd EXPLODES when she appears at the top of the ramp, holding the Pure Cup up in the air, and the sparkling Women’s Championship reflect off the strobelights! Jimmy Garcia: These fans are on their feet! This is home, Lexi! Lissie Hope lived in this city for years! She’s fought many times in this arena! She’s run the trails around this town! She’s shared Bourbon Street with these fans! Lexi Stone: She doesn’t drink anymore, Jimmy!As if she were on cue, Lissie tosses back the Pure Cup and drinks whatever she had poured into it! The fans erupt with cheers as she calls for a stage hand to toss her another! Jimmy Garcia: Shades of Hot Shot Wayne Austin!Lexi Stone: Am I the only person who sees the problem with this??But a water bottle comes flying through the air and Lissie catches it with one hand, before pouring the water into the Pure Cup to take another swig! Jimmy Garcia: See?? You’re worrying for nothing.The music fades as Lissie Hope rolls into the ring, looking around at all of the fans who are screaming her name! WIth a smile, she holds her hand to her chest to thank them. And then her eyes dart up towards ZMAC standing on the concourse, and her smile bends into a scowl as she notices him begin to clap sarcastically along with them! As the crowd fades to a hush, Lissie watches as ZMAC continues to give her a golf clap. Lissie Hope: Save it ZMAC-LEMORE, we’ve heard enough of your old, tired ass trying to sound young and hip. Fucking weirdo.The pro-Lissie section of the crowd laughs and cheers, but the pro-ZMAC section begins to organize and amplify on the spot. Lissie Hope: Just imagine if I would’ve came out here rapping along to Megan thee Stallion – I’d embarrass myself! And this dork things it’s cute to sing along to his music. What a looooooserrrrr.She holds an L on her head as she extends the word. Lissie Hope: I don’t have to rap along to ‘all the haters can suck my clit’ because I can stand here… in the center of the ring… look ZWHACK dead in the eyes and say… ‘you can suck my clit!’Lissie’s starting to sense that there’s some animosity and competitiveness growing between the two splits of the audience: the Hopeamaniacs and those who are supporting ZMAC! It kind of takes her by surprise, but she continues. Lissie Hope: Earlier tonight, the lucky 750 who got to witness it live saw me overtake the Pure Crown from King Daemon, just like I said I would. And then, I get to sit back and watch as ZHACK come in the ring and try to discredit everything I’ve put into this company. Every belt I’ve strapped across my waist. Every woman who’s climbed up the mountain, following the tracks I laid before them. I could ask the guy to ‘name names’... but he literally just ‘named names.’She shakes her head in exasperated disbelief. Once again, the ZMAC faction of the arena’s fanbase begin to vocalize… now beginning to turn anti-Lissie, rather than pro-ZMAC. Lissie tries to ignore it as she continues. Lissie Hope: Here’s some names for you, asshole. Women’s Champion. United States Champion. Two-time Tag Team Champion. CBS Champion. All-In Briefcase. Pure Cup Winner. Two-time World Champion. This is MY legacy. These are MY honors. Don’t make me add another one at your expense.She smiles as the camera zooms in on ZMAC’s Cruiserweight Championship. It doesn’t faze him as he stands with his elbows resting on the bar behind him. Lissie Hope: Now people want to ask what I’m doing on this show. Why I’ve decided to invest some of my time on CruiserClash, rather than wrestling the big dogs for the big belts, when they don’t even realize their own hypocrisy. Am I clinging to relevance, or am I punching down? Do they not even realize that in an effort to humble me, that all they’re doing is elevating me and shrinking themselves and this entire division? It’s seriously the stupidest fucking thing people do, and people do it repeatedly. People like you, Zombie – though I shouldn’t expect anything different from a clinical junkie who barely stays eligible to compete on this damn show by huffing paint in back-alleys. Jimmy Garcia: Whoa. Lexi Stone: This is getting gross! They don’t need to be this vile towards each other!The ZMAC fans get louder and louder as Lissie’s anger and resentment starts to crack through. Lissie Hope: It really amazes me that there are actually people out here - in THIS city of all places - who are choosing to support you. It makes no damn sense. You don’t care about this company. You don’t care about this brand or that title. You don’t care about yourself or anyone around you. You don’t care about these fans –Crowd: ZMAC! ZMAC! ZMAC!
Crowd: LISSIE! LISSIE! LISSIE!
Lissie Hope: You hear them? They’re ready to go to war, ZMAC. And you know what… so am I!The crowd EXPLODES! Lissie Hope: I don’t know how many times I gotta pull the plug on these geriatric clout leeches who keep wanting to FUCK with me…Lissie’s section of the crowd now finally begins to overtake the loud and rowdy ZMAC crowd. Lissie Hope: You can fire all the damn shots you want at me… but I’m STILL here! I’m STILL standing! YOU WANT TO START A WAR??Lissie’s voice is growing in anger and frustration. Lissie Hope: AT BATTLEFIELD… YOU’LL FUCKING GET ONE!Crowd: ZMAC! ZMAC! ZMAC!
Crowd: LISSIE! LISSIE! LISSIE!
Lissie Hope: …but why wait?A smile spreads across ZMAC’s face as he lifts himself up from his perch. He adjusts the title on his shoulder. Lissie Hope: Why make these fans wait? This is what you want to see, right?The cheering in the crowd is tearing the roof off the ceiling. Lissie Hope: If that dick still works, bring that ass down here!Jimmy Garcia: PHRASING!Lexi Stone: Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?ZMAC takes the bait! He starts running down the stairs, taking two steps at a time! Lissie is readying herself for battle! ZMAC hops over the barricade and just before he slides into the ring, all of the security personnel on hand rush in before him and prevent the war before it can even begin, separating the two who are trying to tear through the wall they’ve built, lunging and clawing at each other, but there’s just too many of them! Jimmy Garcia: What an intense new rivalry we saw originate tonight, Lexi!Lexi Stone: The Women’s Champion and the Cruiserweight Champion… two great Action Wrestling cornerstones who both made their returns at CruiserHavoc this winter!Jimmy Garcia: Personal shots were taken tonight!Lexi Stone: Some deep wounds were reopened!Jimmy Garcia: And we’re just getting started! We’re done for the night! We’ll see you next week!The crowd is still going apeshit as Lissie Hope and Zombie McMorris are fighting to get their hands on each other as the scene fades to the ending credits!
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