Spoiler Alert Gold Rush interview with La Familia Dorada
Jan 30, 2023 14:18:44 GMT -5
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Post by T.F.K. on Jan 30, 2023 14:18:44 GMT -5
Lights!
Camera!
ACTION!
Live Crowd: “GOLD RUSH! GOLD RUSH! GOLD RUSH! GOLD RUSH!”
The godlike camera runs through the live studio audience while “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 plays leading to TFK walking onto the stage wearing his sharpest dark blue Armani suit with a red tie, an early throwback to his early US title campaign as an beacon of American Made and Freedom Bred. TFK pulls his hair back into a ponytail and smiles at the crowd on his way to his desk made of mahogany.
Craig Lewis: “Ladies and gentleman, you’ve been without a true voice of the people for far too long and you have been following this industry without a true trajectory… But I, Craig Lewis, TFK’s personal Theatrical Movie Voice Guy, am PLEASED to bring you YOUR DIRECTOR OF ACTION WRESTLING!”
The applause light turns on and the audience clap along and cheer for TFK, who basks in their admiration.
TFK: “Thank you, thank you everyone and thank you Craig for that brilliant introduction as always, tonight is THEE NIGHT, BAY BAY. It is Gold Rush and there is most certainly GOLD ON THE LINE!”
Craig Lewis: “Hints the name Gold Rush, Thad.”
TFK: “Exactly, Craigers and the special guest I was wanting was too busy preparing for their title defense and now I have to go with my 4th pick.”
Craig Lewis: 4th pick? What happened to your 2nd and 3rd?”
TFK: “2nd and 3rd was the same as the 1st, that’s how badly I wanted them to be on this show…”
Craig Lewis: “You talking about our World champion?”
TFK lowers his head a bit and slowly nods.
Craig: Lewis: “You didn’t send her an invite suggesting that she come on your Casting Couch, did you? And I mean-”
Soundboard: CUM CUM CUM, CUM!!!!
TFK: “Come on, Craiger, you know I did! I got a visit from from some knuckle dragging jack-in-ape for my troubles… Jill Parks is off limits…”
Craig Lewis: “She’s the champ, Thad, so you know she’s gotta focus on 3 of the top competitors in Action Wrestling.”
TFK: “How is her appearing on my Casting Couch not getting her prepared to take on 3 studs, Craiger? Hmm?”
Craig goes to answer and TFK cuts him off.
TFK: “Don’t even bother answering that, I know it would’ve… Now I have to deliver up sloppy seconds and 3rds to our 1st ever special guest.”
Craig Lewis: “Ha, well let me bring them out…”
Craig clears his throat and puts on his best Theatrical Movie Guy Voice.
Craig Lewis: “Ladies and gentleman, boys, girls, and dolphins alike, put your hands together for YOUR CRUISERCLASH LUCHA SUPER COUPLE! LAZARO VICENTE AND VANDALIA VALDEZ, LA FAMILIA DORADA!!!”
Live Crowd: “LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCH! LUCHA!!”
Lázaro Vicente dressed in an all black Armani and Vandalia Valdez dressed in a tight black dress. They both wave to the live studio audience and they flash a smile toward TFK before taking a seat on his white leather Casting Couch.
TFK: "Welcome you beautiful people, I hope the stage crew was generous toward you."
Lázaro: "Si, they were, Senor King."
Vandalia: "Gracias for the wining and dining, but it'll take more than that to win us over."
TFK puts his hands up guilty as charged.
TFK: "I mean you no harm, I promise… I was just making sure that Action Wrestling’s Premier Power Couple are taken care of, that's all."
Lázaro: "Pardon mi mami, Senor, she is just geared up for our match against The Gents at Gold Rush is all and she's ready to attack anyone who stands in our way."
TFK: "No problemo, I get 100. I've been watching this feud between you and Teo, Lázaro and I can see perfectly clear that you two want to be done with him once and for all. Yes?"
Vandalia: "Teo is a do-good white knight who believes white knights are still needed in this day and age. Lázaro is the future of Action Wrestling and CruiserClash."
Lázaro: "These Gents don't even have an idea of what mi mami is truly capable of and this match at Gold Rush is going to be our superior LUCHA on display for the entire world to see… I doubt The Gents will even be able to keep up."
TFK: "Teo always seemed like a bopping the bishop kind of guy, more than a white knight, but what do I know. Ha!"
TFK cracks himself up.
Lázaro: "He does have soft hands, Senor King."
Craig Lewis: "Sounds like he has a good lotion routine to me."
TFK: "Alright, alright it's too easy to laugh at Teo… Vandalia, The Desert Rose, the one question on everyone's minds with your fine curves sitting on my Casting Couch…"
TFK winks at the camera and then gives Vandalia a sheepish smile.
TFK: "Sorry, Lazaro, but everyone needs to know… What color underwear are you wearing?"
Vandalia doesn't skip a beat.
Vandalia: "I'm not wearing any."
TFK's bulge as he looks at the camera and then back to the couple.
TFK: "Wowza!!! Seriously?"
Vandalia: "No, you heathen."
Lázaro: "She's messing with you, but I on the other hand am wearing black silk."
Vandalia: "We know your game, Senor King and we saw your prediction for our match with The Gents. I mean, I literally laughed out loud at your reasoning for picking us… But we can't say the same about you, perro."
Lázaro: "These genes, mi amigo is for mi mami, not some over the hill has-been."
TFK: "Now wait a minute there, you can't speak to me like that on MY CASTING COUCH, that's not what this is. I wanted to pick your brains and see how you looked on camera, is that too much to ask?"
Craig Lewis: "Thad, they are parents, man, I don't see them helping you live out your girlfriend sharing fantasy…"
TFK: "Fine, I'll take you off THE LIST…"
Lázaro: "Mami, I believe Senor King is a very troubled man."
Vandalia: "You know, now that I think about it, I think your cousin Raquel would eat him right up."
Lázaro nods along.
Lázaro: "You know, I think you're right. Senor King, we will set you up with my cousin for sure."
Craig Lewis: "Thanks to Jenna Ortega, Latin chicks are back in, Thad."
TFK: "I don't know, Craig, I'd rather go for an Eva Angeline type myself."
Lazaro: “Leave it to V, she’ll hook you guys right up, mi amigo.”
TFK: “Uh sure, this isn’t one of those green card marriage proposal things, is it?”
Vandalia: “You’re in luck, she has dual citizenship.”
TFK: “And she’s an Eva Angeline type?”
Lazaro and Vandalia look at each other with a smirk and then nod their heads to TFK.
TFK: “Fuck it, I’m in!”
Lazaro: “Asombroso!!!”
Vandalia: “I’ll set it up!”
TFK: “You two really are great people… Aren’t they great people, Craig?”
Craig Lewis: “They really are.”
TFK: “Now, what’s going to happen in this Lucha LIbre Street Fight of yours? I mean we’ve all heard the pretty harsh words from The Gents about you being true luchadors or not…”
Vandalia: “I’ve heard their venomous tongues and who are they to call us out on being true luchadors? They’re not seeing what heart and desire does for the luchadors here in Mexico on a daily basis. They don’t represent THEM.”
Lazaro: “The Gents don’t represent the fathers and the mothers in Mexico who hear the calling to the ring for a way to provide for their children… What? V and I are supposed to see ourselves as less than to The Gents because we see ourselves as a success story from Mexico? We are parents who have found a way to provide for our mija after wrestling in dive bars and in the streets just to rub two pesos together. Mi padre worked his fingers to the bone in this sport, Senor King, to be able to give us a living that he thought we were deserving of… I’m only trying to do the same. Just as those I fight for, the Gold that we are seeking is going to validate our hard work over all these years and I will feel a rush to be able to hold the title up for all of my brothers and sisters out there.”
Live Crowd: “LUCHA, LUCHA, LUCHA, LUCHA, LUCHA, LUCHA!”
TFK: “You called The Gents modern day bullies and I did indeed catch up on the hate speech they spoke of you two… I mean, you’re setting me up with your cousin and you seem pleasant here on my Casting Couch… I just don’t see these villains that The Gents paint you as.”
Craig Lewis: “Maybe The Gents are too caught up in Dungeons and Dragons and they see evil all around them?”
TFK: “They can play with their dice all day, Craig, but I see two stars sitting here with us tonight and this is going to be one hell of a Lucha Libre Street Fight!”
TFK nods to Lazaro and Vandalia.
TFK: “I appreciate you two coming onto our show tonight and I wish you all the luck in the world in your match with The Gents tonight.”
TFK winks at Vandalia.
TFK: “Tell Raquel, I said que pasa.”
TFK laughs with La Familia Dorada and Craig takes things from here.
Craig Lewis: “Ladies and Gentleman, thank you as always for joining us on Action Wrestling's Spoiler Alert. That was your host TFK, The CruiserClash Power Couple La Familia Dorada, and I am your humble forever sidekick… Um hmm… (Theatrical Voice) CRAIG LEWIS!
TFK: “You guys will love this… HIT THE MUSIC, STAGE MONKEYS!”
Moves Like Jagger from Maroon 5 starts to play and La Familia Dorada watches as TFK starts to dance his way to the live studio audience who joins in awkwardly. As we fade out to black.