Binge-watch CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER (featuring Lissie Hope!)
Dec 20, 2022 16:10:19 GMT -5
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Post by Lissie Hope on Dec 20, 2022 16:10:19 GMT -5
CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER
(CBS/PARAMOUNT+)
EPISODE ONE
“MOVING IN”
VOICEOVER
Tonight! 11 celebrities have agreed to be completely cut off from the outside world and locked away inside the Big Brother house. No phones, no agents, and no entourage. But there will be 94 cameras and 113 microphones recording their every move.
These actors, athletes, musicians, television stars, and internet personalities have been competing to be the best their entire lives.
But they’ve never been in a competition quite like this.
In a relentless pursuit of power and safety, the famous faces will battle it out, eliminating each other one by one until only the last celebrity standing wins the quarter-million grand prize.
And it all starts right now on Celebrity Big Brother!
JULIE CHEN-MOONVES
Good evening, I’m Julie Chen-Moonves and welcome to the season premiere of Celebrity Big Brother.
In just moments, 11 celebrities will bravely attempt to take on the Big Brother game. They’ve agreed to be cut off from the outside world, watched 24/7, and compete in the most strategic, unpredictable, and challenging month of their lives.
There are musicians, professional athletes, actors, and internet stars - all out of their element, and all hoping to make it to the end to win a quarter of a million dollars.
But first -
You may already know who is entering the house tonight but the celebrities have no idea who they are competing against.
Well, they’re about to find out.
Let’s get this game started!
CUT TO:
BIG BROTHER HOUSE
DAY 01
DAY 01
Door opens, cameras inside catch actress NIA LONG poking her head in with a big, infectious smile on her face.
NIA LONG
Oh my God, this is unreal!
Nia rolls her suitcase in and enters the living room, observing all of the decor in the Big Brother house. The shot cuts to her introductory video.
DIARY ROOM (DR) | NIA LONG
Hello America! I am Nia Long, and I’ve been acting for almost three decades - my God! Most people would recognize me from my roles in “Boyz in the Hood”, “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and… of course…
(DR) | NIA LONG
But I’m not quite in that shape anymore. (Laughs)
Lately, I’ve been working on directing my first film, and it’s so exciting! But it’s overwhelming at the same time and when this opportunity presented itself, I had to take it.
I’ve had - a rough year. (tears up) Making it on the front page of TMZ for a cheating scandal, it’s really taken it’s toll on me mentally. And this is my opportunity to do something for me, to take my mind off the scrutiny, to win something and make my 11-year old son proud to call me mom. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m playing - and winning - this game.
CUT TO: FRONT DOOR
Doorbell rings, and Nia excitedly rushes to greet the next houseguest. In walks Matt Stonie. Nia gives him a huge, motherly hug.
NIA
Hiiiiii!! Come on in!
MATT STONIE
Yoooooo - this is wiiiiiiild! I watched Friday soooo many times!
(DR) MATT STONIE
This is crazy, yo! I walk in and the first person I see is Nia Long! I couldn’t even tell you how many times I watched “Friday” when I was younger. (laughs) I’m Matt - I have a Youtube channel with 16-million subscribers but perhaps I’m best known for being a record-holding competitive eater.
Clips of Matt dethroning Joey Chestnut in the 2015 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition are interspersed with his diary room session.
(DR) MATT STONIE
But it’s not just hot dogs I eat! (as he’s shoveling a big glob of ice cream in his mouth) I own 21 world records - 10 and a half pounds of frozen yogurt in 10 minutes, 182 slices of bacon in 5 minutes, 103 carne asada tacos in 8 minutes, 71 pork ribs in 5 minutes - and my personal favorite - 85 moon pies in 8 minutes.
Cut to clips of Nia Long in “Friday”.
(DR) MATT STONIE
What do you think I was doing watching while “Friday” all my life??
(Production adds in the hiss of a lighter and a cloud of smoke encircling Matt in the DR) (Matt laughs)
NIA
So where would I know you from?
MATT
You wouldn’t. (laughs)
(DR) NIA LONG
I have no idea who this kid is – but he’s sweet!
The doorbell rings, and fitted in a sharp suit is a big, cuddly presence - former professional baseball player, Prince Fielder.
NIA
Hiiiiiiiii!! Come in, come on in!
MATT
Yooooo - what’s good??
PRINCE FIELDER
Hey heyyy!! Man this is crazy! This house, though –
(DR) PRINCE FIELDER
What’s goin’ on, everyone? I’m Prince, and I was a major league baseball player from 2005 to 2016.
Clips show Prince swinging the bat and connecting on home runs during his time with the Detroit Tigers, Texas Rangers, and Milwaukee Brewers.
(DR) PRINCE FIELDER
I hit 319 home-runs in my career and I’m looking to hit one more when I make it to the end and take this money home to my family!
Clips show family life for Prince with his wife Chanel and their two sons.
(DR) PRINCE FIELDER
I’m a big guy but I’ve got a big heart, and my strategy going into this game is to tamp down my threat level because people are gonna see me and think I’m gonna wreck every competition. But I can’t do that - I gotta play under the radar. I gotta be friends with everyone. And that’s what I’m gonna do.
Cut back to house and Prince, Nia, and Matt are checking out the bedrooms. Immediately, Prince and Matt are drawn to the idea of rooming together, and they exchange an excited hand slap and side hug – the pair looks amusing because Matt is so small in comparison.
The doorbell ringing interrupts them.
LISSIE HOPE
Hellooooooo?? Anyone home??
The houseguests rush to greet her as her diary room session begins.
(DR) LISSIE HOPE
What is uppppp? I’m Lissie - and I’m a pro wrestler and four-time World Champion. (flexes biceps)
Lissie greets Nia, Matt, and Prince with friendly hugs, and she and Nia in particular seem to have a magnetic energy.
NIA
Look at you! You’re gonna have to show me some things!
LISSIE
We do got a gym, right??
(DR) LISSIE HOPE
I’ve been competing against the best my entire life, and I’ve made it to the top of the mountain. And I got the call for this and thought - ‘why not?’ I want to show all the women out there that you are strong, that you can compete, that you can WIN.
NIA
So what do you do??
LISSIE
I beat men up for a living.
Lissie’s deadpan delivery gets a roar of laughter from Nia as Matt and Prince eye each other.
(DR) MATT STONIE
Lissie! She’s coming in hot - but she’s going to put a huge target on her back!
(DR) PRINCE FIELDER
I like it! I like the confidence. I want someone like that on my team!
More small talk commences as Lissie voices-over, before shifting back to a diary room session.
(DR) LISSIE HOPE
I wouldn’t say I’m a Big Brother ‘superfan’ but I definitely play one on Twitter! (Quick scroll of her twitter feed showing all of the opinions on last season’s Big Brother.) But I think I’ve got a good strategy going in, because this isn’t just about being a comp beast. You can’t win your way to the end of this. I want to show the world my heart - I’ve spent a lot of time repairing it. I want to be authentic. Genuine. I want to develop relationships that will take me far in this game.
And I’m getting a good vibe from Nia.
LISSIE
I can’t believe we’re actually here right now - this is surreal.
NIA
It’s only just beginning!
LISSIE (whispering)
I hope we get a bunch of strong girls in here - I want to take it to these men! They won’t know what hit ‘em!
NIA (whispering)
I like the way you’re thinking - we’ll talk later.
Doorbell rings - in walks a young lady with a noticeable accent.
KATHLEEN BELSTEN aka “LOSERFRUIT”
Where is everybody??
Prince and Matt greet her and offer hugs. She seems a little awkward and standoffish, but succumbs.
MATT
Yooooo! I’m subscribed to Lufu!
KATHLEEN
Thank you! One of many!
PRINCE
Let me get that for you.
Prince offers to carry her bags.
KATHLEEN
American man are such gentlemen! Hi boys, I’m Kathleen.
(DR) KATHLEEN BELSTEN aka “LOSERFRUIT”
What is Big Brother? Why am I here? (laughs) I don’t spend a lot of time watching American reality television because I’m a busy woman - most of my time is on Twitch playing video games and creating content on my two YouTube channels!
Matt’s genuine giddiness is beginning to rub off on her and the two begin to small-talk as Prince follows them through the house. They eventually take a seat at the kitchen island.
PRINCE
Where you from? I hear an accent.
KATHLEEN
Australia! I’m a wee-bit fatigued from the long flight. (laughs)
MATT
I can imagine!
Lissie and Nia enter the main dining room to meet her.
NIA
Hey girl! Welcome! What’s your name - what do you do?
(DR) KATHLEEN aka “LOSERFRUIT”
I’m Kathleen, better known as “Loserfruit” - and I have 2-and-a-half million followers on Twich and 3-and-a-half million subscribers on my channels! I come here with a brilliant strategy - I’m going to get close, and when they don’t see it coming - (sound effect of a blade sharpening) - that’s how you get to the end of this game.
LISSIE
I love it! I love how the internet is making normal people famous. Fifteen years ago, you’d never see a gamer be invited to one of these.
KATHLEEN
Yeah - times have changed I guess.
LISSIE
It’s really cool. I hope you can tell me about all of it! I’m trying out new things now and maybe this can be something I can try.
(DR) KATHLEEN
(eye roll) Maybe I should just -try- to become a wrestler. Since it’s so easy.
(DR) LISSIE
I’m really looking forward to getting to know her! She seems dope.
(DR) KATHLEEN
I know EVERYTHING I need to know about her. (smirks)
ALEX MORGAN
Hey everyone, got room for one more??
Alex Morgan enters the house and is immediately greeted by Prince and Lissie.
PRINCE
Heyyy! More athletes, let’s go!
LISSIE
Welcome! I’m a big fan!
ALEX
Aw, jeez! You’re too sweet!
(DR) ALEX MORGAN
Hey what’s up! I’m Alex, and a professional soccer player on the US Women’s National Team and the San Diego Wave. As you might expect, I absolutely -LOVE- to compete and what better place than on national television? You know I love that spotlight.
Intro video cuts to her on the soccer field, passing the ball and kicking big-time goals, and celebrating with her teammates.
(DR) ALEX MORGAN
This is a dream-come-true for me! I’ve been watching Big Brother for years and to get invited to do this, to try to win 250-g’s - let’s be real. I’m going to kill these comps and I’m going to set myself up well for the end-game! And I hope it’s worth my while because I’m not missing the World Cup for nothing!
LISSIE
Hell yes! Strong women athletes, this is exactly what I wanted!
ALEX
Ready to show these boys what we’re made of??
LISSIE
Girl, say less!
(DR) LISSIE HOPE
I love this! I’m getting such great vibes from Nia and Kathleen and Alex. I want to see all of us women go far! And so far, so good - there’s not too many distractions!
Shot cuts to the door-way with Isaiah Rashad casually strolling in, seeing the group gathered in the kitchen.
ISAIAH RASHAD
What’s up, everyone??
(DR) LISSIE HOPE
(blushing, smiling, covering her face)
ISAIAH
I’m Isaiah, nice to meet everyone. This place is (BLEEP) dope.
KATHLEEN
What do you do??
ISAIAH
I’m a musician - you?
Isaiah and Kathleen seem to have a nice little vibe going, their chemistry radiating on the screen, and the ladies Alex, Nia, and Lissie also circle around the pair to get a first impression of the newest houseguet.
(DR) ISAIAH RASHAD
Big Brother, what the (BLEEP). Y’all gonna get me in trouble. (laughs) What’s up, America? I’m Isaiah, and I rap.
Intro video shows him in the studio with a voiceover of one of his songs, as well as a short clip of his performance at Coachella 2022.
(DR) ISAIAH RASHAD
I started out in this biz about a decade ago, and I’ve worked with some of the biggest names in the industry - SZA, Juicy J, Kendrick. But I ain’t here to rep my music - I’m here to be a voice and a face for the bigotry and hatred that so many people experience.
A short video shows the story of Isaiah Rashad’s leaked gay sex tape and how it was intended to embarrass and derail Isaiah’s career, and the strength and poise he showed to get through it.
(DR) ISAIAH RASHAD
I ain’t scared to talk about who I am and what I been through. If I can use this platform to help anyone, to show them that they ain’t alone, I’m gonna do it. This ain’t just about the game, this ain’t just about the win or the money to me. (wiping tears) I got a lot to offer the world, and I’m just looking for good people to talk to, to work with, who got the same outlook I do. I ain’t here to scheme or backstab no one. I’m gonna be real.
Isaiah continues to talk to the girls, as Matt and Prince join the gathering, and they all circle around the island kitchen. Isaiah has all of their attention and seems to have the charisma to really endear himself and connect with everyone around him.
(DR) NIA LONG
I really like Isaiah! He seems like he is going to be friends with everyone. He is so charming, so cute! I think all the girls are crushing on him.
(DR) LISSIE HOPE
I… can’t speak on Isaiah. (laughs) I’ll just say he seems like a very deep, very intuitive person and I’m going to enjoy getting to know him.
(DR) MATT STONIE
Isaiah’s the homie, man! I really wanna work with him.
(DR) PRINCE FIELDER
He’s a stand-up kid - I think Isaiah is one to watch.
(DR) KATHLEEN aka “LOSERFRUIT”
So naive. Such a naive boy. (smirks)
All of the commotion in the kitchen, and the group never hears the next houseguest enter. It’s Chris Hansen.
CHRIS HANSEN
I would’ve asked you to take a seat, but it seems like you beat me to it!
MATT STONIE
No (BLEEP)! I used to watch your show all the time!
(DR) CHRIS HANSEN
Hello, America. The last time you saw me on your television screens, I was exposing the dirtiest, grimiest dregs of society for your viewing pleasure. And I’m stepping into this game, and I was fully expecting to do it here too - it’s reality television. It should attract the worst of us, right?
Cut to a wholesome scene of Prince and Nia in the kitchen, cooking dinner for all of the houseguests.
ALEX MORGAN
Aww, mom and dad in the kitchen, how sweet!
NIA LONG
Just making sure all you kids are eating right!
CHRIS HANSEN
What about me? I’m the oldest guy here!
PRINCE FIELDER
Just kick back, we got this, brother!
(DR) CHRIS HANSEN
Obviously… I was wrong. (chuckle) But I’m still going to use what I’ve learned over the course of my television career to navigate this game. I can read people like a book. I will know who’s lying to me, I will find out who’s masking their true intentions. I’m here to play a cut-throat game, because you know what?? I’m old. I’m safe. Nobody will ever see it coming.
The doorbell rings and with Matt standing nearest, he goes to open it. In walks Danielle Bregoli, better known as Bhad Bhabie. Lissie immediately gets excited and she walks in with a cool confidence, strutting by everyone, catching their glances. She walks straight up to Lissie and gives her a hug.
LISSIE HOPE
I heard you were coming on! It’s so good to see you, it’s been years!
DANIELLE aka BHAD BHABIE
Still kicking ass! How you doin’, girl??
ALEX MORGAN
How do you know each other??
BHAD BHABIE
I introduced her at her wrestling show a couple years ago!
CHRIS HANSEN
And where do we know you from??
BHAD BHABIE
Wellllll –
A montage begins of Bhad Bhabie’s career origins, beginning with her iconic “Cash me ousside, how bout’ dat?” appearance on Dr. Phil as a teenager, and all the way to her rap career and a short clip of her OnlyFans profile. Her voiceover narrates it.
(DR) BHAD BHABIE
I know I ain’t comin’ in here with the best reputation. People think I’m spoiled and a menace and that I got this success handed to me because I was a trashy-ass kid. But I want people to get to know the real me. (begins tearing up) I’m just a young girl, y’know? Trying to navigate the world. Build up my name and fix all the bad feelings people might have about me. I’m grateful for this opportunity, man. I wanna play a clean game. I wanna be honest and make friends and not take any of this for granted. And if I win 250-k at the end of it? I know this ain’t gonna be for nothing.
Cut to a bunch of the houseguests side-eyeing her.
(DR) CHRIS HANSEN
What do I think of Danielle? She’s gonna be trouble.
(DR) KATHLEEN aka LOSERFRUIT
Trouble.
(DR) MATT STONIE
Oh she gonna be trouble.
(DR) ALEX MORGAN
She’s trouble, for sure.
“Loserfruit” keeps a close eye on Bhad Bhabie and Lissie Hope as they continue to catch up. Lissie offers to show her one of the bedrooms, and they are obviously getting too close for comfort. Kathleen pulls Nia and Alex aside.
KATHLEEN aka “LOSERFRUIT”
(whispers) We gotta keep an eye on them. You can’t come in here already as a pair.
ALEX MORGAN
Yeah, that can be dangerous.
NIA LONG
Just keep your eyes and ears open. You know Lissie’s gonna play hard.
With everyone gathered in the kitchen once again, the doorbell doesn’t even ring. Instead, the door is swung open and in walks American musician Kid Rock, with a background track of “Bawitaba” playing on the screen. He walks in with a cool arrogance, dropping his bags at the entrance. He extends his arms to his side as the houseguests at the island slowly get up from their chairs to greet him.
(DR) KID ROCK
Who are these people? (laughs) I’m a Grammy-nominated music star and you got me in here with a bunch of “woke” SJW’s who ain’t done nothin’ in their lives? I can see how they’re already looking at me, ‘cause I come in here PROUD to wear this hat.
Kid Rock is scoping out all of his new roommates, and can already feel the tension rising as he gives Lissie, Alex, Rashad, Danielle, Nia, and Prince a pretty fatal first impression.
KID ROCK
Save the biggest for last, huh?
ISAIAH RASHAD
Nice to meet you - it’s nice to have another musician in the house.
Kid Rock scoffs at his attempt to be cordial. Lissie and Danielle already roll their eyes at him.
(DR) LISSIE HOPE
Target number one. Easy.
(DR) BHAD BHABIE
He’s doing it to himself. You ain't gotta come in here like your (BEEP) don’t stink.
Kid Rock looks around and points at all the cameras adjusting and turning in his direction. He laughs and shakes his head.
(DR) KID ROCK
I know they call this show ‘Big Brother’, but having all this surveillance on innocent, bystanding citizens like myself really goes to show just how far down the gutter this country has gone. I thank CBS for inviting me on, if just to give a different perspective than they’ve been publicly-pressured to show lately. Hopefully you’ll give me an opportunity to –
The DR session is cut away to the sound of a bottle of champagne being popped, and the houseguests circling the kitchen island. It zooms in on a smiling Bhad Bhabie, who seems incredibly happy to be there. Cut back to Kid Rock voiceover in the DR.
(DR) KID ROCK
But maybe all these cameras ain't so bad, y'know? (chuckles)
KID ROCK
So they got cameras in the showers, too?
The girls look at Kid Rock with disgust.
KID ROCK
What?? Y'all show your (BEEP) all over the internet anyway.
So they got cameras in the showers, too?
The girls look at Kid Rock with disgust.
KID ROCK
What?? Y'all show your (BEEP) all over the internet anyway.
(DR) KID ROCK
It was a joke. (eye roll) Gonna be a long month with these princesses.
(DR) TRIUMPH, THE INSULT COMIC DOG
Don’t let that Stonie kid near my stash of cigars, Big Brother! I got a contact high from his skin-to-fur contact.
(DR) TRIUMPH, THE INSULT COMIC DOG
It was a joke. (eye roll) Gonna be a long month with these princesses.
Nia sets ten glasses on a serving tray as Prince Fielder takes center stage, showing some of the leadership qualities he’s learned over the course of his career.
PRINCE FIELDER
It’s an honor to meet everyone, to take this journey with all of you. To compete in this game with all of you. To show the world what we can do - and to show it to ourselves - that we can take on any challenge and thrive.
(BARK)
PRINCE FIELDER
This game is only just beginning. Our journey is only beginning. There’s ten of us, and one by one we’re gonna compete until there’s only one of us left to take home this check.
(BARK)
(BARK)
PRINCE FIELDER
Let’s play clean, y’all. Let’s play with fire. With intensity. But let’s also play with honor. With integrity. Celebrity Big Brother 23 –
(BARK)
NIA LONG
Um, Prince?
(BARK)
NIA LONG
There’s only ten chairs at the table, but…
Nia points to the sliding glass door. Next to the glass door is a water jug, a food bowl, and a dog bed! And finally, they notice that there’s a missing houseguest!
MATT STONIE
Yoooooo we got a dog!
Matt Stonie runs over to the door and pulls it open.
TRIUMPH, THE INSULT COMIC DOG
I’ve been waiting - and waiting - and barking - and crying - and you finally let me in!
Matt Stonie drops to his knees to pet Triumph, who is very uncomfortable by the attention.
(DR) TRIUMPH, THE INSULT COMIC DOG
Don’t let that Stonie kid near my stash of cigars, Big Brother! I got a contact high from his skin-to-fur contact.
Triumph says hi to all the houseguests but stops in his tracks when he sees Kid Rock.
(DR) TRIUMPH, THE INSULT COMIC DOG
You keep me in the yard but you give this degenerate a bed??
I’m Triumph, and I’m a dog. I’m known as a mean dog, from my days on late night television insulting celebrities, or going to political debates and national conventions and insulting politicians and media people.
But I’m still a dog.
And people love dogs.
Quick cut to Triumph cuddling on the couch in the middle of Alex, Lissie, and Loserfruit. The camera zooms in on his face, and he gives a wink.
(DR) TRIUMPH, THE INSULT COMIC DOG
I want to make America fall in love with me, and make these houseguests fall in love with me - and gift an old, sick dog a big reward.
I – (sad music begins to play) - don’t have a lot of time left. My vet told me that I need to count my days. I’ve done everything I set out to do. I’ve been on TV ever since I was old enough to stop eating from teets. But I want to show the world that I’m not just a mean dog. I’m not an old grump.
I’m not Kid Rock.
The show begins to fade to the outro as the narrator begins to speak over the closing music, interspersed with slow-motion clips of various houseguests smiling, shaking hands, and moving into their rooms.
VOICEOVER
What lasting first impressions have the houseguests made with each other?
What initial alliances will form and will they be strong enough to take control of the game?
Who will win the first head of household competition of the season, and will the first veto competition winner remove one of the initial nominations for eviction??
And what houseguest will land themselves in hot water?
All that and more on the next episode of
CELEBRITYYYYY BIIIIIG BROOOOOOTHERRRRRR.
And what houseguest will land themselves in hot water?
All that and more on the next episode of
CELEBRITYYYYY BIIIIIG BROOOOOOTHERRRRRR.