Post by LSM Robyn Gonzalez on Dec 11, 2022 14:59:11 GMT -5
1st and 10 was my favorite part of the game. The defense never knows what you’re going to give them on 1st down. A simple run up the gut? An inoffensive screen pass? Both plays are tried and true, but they’re not what I’m calling as the starting Quarterback for the Tenochtitlan Quetzalcoatl. I like to call the big shots, because I’m the kind of athlete who thrives on making incredible power plays no one ever saw coming.
The unpredictability of calling your first play, and making it count, was almost addictive to me. It’s why I called Jolee out for a CBS title match right out of the gate, and it’s why I drew up a shot to the end zone on the first play in the first preseason game of the LFL season!
¡Abajo!
¡¡Ajustar!!
¡¡¡Ahora!!!
Moments after I clap my hands together the football comes flying out from beneath the center. I catch the ball before repositioning it, putting my fingers on the laces as I drop back in the pocket. The defense rushed with 5, but thankfully my linewomen picked up the blitz perfectly. I offered a silent prayer to Saint Mary that the protection would hold. With time in the pocket I look past the line of scrimmage and down the field at my first read: La Reina Daniela Negra, my #1 wide receiver.
She’s running a fade route to the endzone, but the cornerback is smothering her in coverage! La Reina was always my favorite option, and truth be told I’d had a crush on her ever since we wrestled for the XWF Anarchy Championship in January. The way her body moves would usually leave me in a trance…but not today, because my left tackle just got blown up by the defensive end!
'¡DIOS MIO!'
I sprint right, desperately avoiding a sack as my eyes stay downfield. I see my second read on the play, tight end Bobbi London, running a post route fifteen yards downfield. Bobbi was equal parts big and nasty, making her a great blocker: but Bobbi’s hands and footwork had always been suspect. Yet somehow, Bobbi is wide open against the zone coverage!
I set to make the throw, but I hesitate: because I know Bobbi can’t catch this ball. Sure enough, Bobbi soon trips on her own shoelaces and eats a mouthful of dirt, slamming onto the turf. I look for another option downfield, but I’m running out of time!
'SPIN OUT!'
I hear my coach’s warning before I feel the blitzer’s arms wrapping around my waist. I instinctively twist my body, taking a forceful step to the right before circling away from the rusher. As I reset myself I see the defender tumble to the ground where I was just standing. From the corner of my eye I see that the rest of my line has been shredded, and there are more rushers coming my way!
'¡MIERDA!'
I don’t have time to look for an outlet: I have to take matters into my own hands to avoid the pressure! Most QBs would be panicking, but not me. This is the type of rush that makes me feel aliveI I tuck the ball against my chest and step up, juking out the first linebacker before I set into my sprint and charge ahead. As I pass the first down markers I see the safety charging towards me and I consider sliding, but when I start to go down she gives up on the play…so I pop back up and dash to the goalline!
As I run past the safety I see the look of utter disappointment on their face. They thought the play was over, but the speed of my wit matched the speed of my scramble as I scampered gleefully into the endzone! Some people would call that move ‘dirty’ or ‘cheap’, but ‘some people’ don’t know the rules as well as I do. There’s always some flexibility, and on a quick scramble it’s entirely reasonable that I was just getting low to the ground for a better juke. Of course, I wasn’t...but they can’t penalize what they can’t prove!
I wasn’t a dirty player, but I was definitely creative. It wasn’t against the league rules to fake a slide, even if it was distasteful. In that same vein, I knew my upcoming dismantling of Jolee would turn a lot of ADub followers sour, especially now that she promised to put her career on the line! Yet still, there’s nothing illegal about rubbing a champion’s nose in their own arrogance. It’s not ‘dirty’ to get a fool so worked up that they risk everything they have, even if it only takes cheap heat to stoke their flames.
‘Oi! Yous done blasted all their arses on that one! Atta girly!’
Bobbi spanked me as I stood tall in the endzone, basking in the praises of the crowd. I turned back to her and rolled my eyes, because I hated it when that oaf touched me.
‘Stop spanking me everytime I make a play.’
‘But I’m tha tight end of tha team! It’s my jerb to help you tighten your end up!’
‘It’s your job to not fall do-’
I was about to rip into Bobbi, but when La Reina came up to me I completely changed focus.
‘Nice touchdown, but I was open.’
‘I’ll give it to you next time!’
La Reina slapped my rear before jogging to the sideline. I smiled, ball in hand, while Bobbi watched in confusion.
‘Oi, whys it ok for her ta do it?!’
‘Because she’s caliente!’
I shoved the football into Bobbi’s chest before jogging after Daniela, hoping to get a spot next to her on the bench! As I chased after my top receiver my eye drifted up to the stands, where I saw my favorite twitter follower cheering me on….
LATER THAT NIGHT
POP!
The champagne cork flew across the bedroom as Azurine Vebbins leaned back on the bed in laughter. I blushed sheepishly as I approached her with the bottle and two empty glasses. This blonde bombshell was an alluring mystery to me, one that I hoped to completely discover over the course of many laborious hours. She brushed the hair away from my face as I stepped onto my bed.
‘This is all I have, I’m not sure if it’s good or not…’
Truth be told I wasn’t much of a drinker, shoot, I wasn’t even old enough to drink in America! But down in Mexico the rules were different, and this mystery woman from twitter didn’t seem to mind.
‘I’m sure whatever you give me will be great.’
Before I pour the glasses of champagne, Azzie pulled me close to her and kissed me with a lot of tongue. It was one of the hottest moments of my life! When it ended I blushed and leaned back, but Azzie just smiled warmly as she laid a hand on my exposed thigh.
‘Do you want to drink da bubbly grape juice before or after Round Dree of Cuddle Cardio, darlin’?’
I blushed sheepishly as I tried to stammer through a response.
‘W-wh-whatever you think is b-best…’
I wasn’t normally this nervous around gorgeous women, not even La Reina! But there was something about this Azzie that just kept me on the edge of my seat, completely tilted and filled with fanny flutters. The most exciting part was how little I actually knew about her, after all we only met after she slid into my DMs on twitter. I didn’t do any research on her, but with a body like that, what is there to know?
‘Why don’t you fill up dose glasses while I go get changed into anoder costume for you, okay?’
Azzie winked at me as she ran one finger down my lips. I gasped at the sensation of her touch, only able to nod my head before she laid another kiss on me and hopped off the bed merrily. I watched her sway from side to side with awe as she walked into the bathroom to change. She wasn’t gone for long before she came back dressed in skimpy wrestling attire. She even had a replica CBS championship wrapped around her slender waist!
'You look good in that! If you hop onto the bed for some training, maybe you can be a professional luchadora like me one day!'
I winked slyly at Azzie, trying to lay my best game on her. She giggled as she sauntered towards me, flaunting her goodies with every step.
‘I figured since you have a title match against Jolee, and you’ve already beaten former CBS champion Jason Cashe…maybe YOU’D like to do some suplex shufflin’ with da first ever CBS champion.’
My jaw dropped as I realized there was a whole lot more to this stripper than I first thought….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's the champagne poppin’, federation hoppin’, Mexicana bitch 'bout to pop off at another champion just to prove that I can. People say I called Jolee out for this match and have been holding her feet to the fire ever since, but really, she called ME out for this match! You can’t just run around rebranding championship belts and calling out for pure lucha libre without opening up Pandora's box and summoning a challenger you never could’ve imagined.
La Máquina de Sumisión ha venido a tomar lo que es de ella.
Mi nombre debe hablar por sí mismo: but if you need a translation, I am the Latina Submission Machina and I have crossed the border to take your CBS champion’s job! I’m a better kickboxer than Jolee, a better grappler, and I’m better on la micrófono! I don’t put my foot in my mouth and choke on it, like she already has. Seriously, she needs to log off twitter! When you’re mixing up ‘judo’ and ‘jiu jitsu’ in tweets, you make it hard for people to take your ‘pure wrestling’ seriously!
¡Confía en mí!
I’m a black belt in BOTH those martial arts, and that’s exactly why they call me Latina Submission Machina! I’ll use my judo to trip, toss, and throw Jolee to the mat. Then, it’s that sweet jiu jitsu that’s going to make her tap! Pure lucha is where I excel most. When it comes to pure lucha, I have the best skill set in all of Action Wrestling! Jolee might have 20 years of experience, but she has NEVER faced a submission specialist like me! Jolee doesn’t even know the first thing about me, she hasn’t done any research- and that’s why she’s never going to be prepared for tomorrow night. I’ve already beaten the likes of Chris Page, Jason Cashe, and John Black: time and time again in the XWF- so what’s one more puta to the pile?
Por si no sabian esta mami, I can go from speaking Spanish, hasta barras en Ingles, basically what I’m saying is I give you options. I’m versatile, adaptable, multifaceted. Jolee is just a one-trick pony that has long outlived her heyday, and now it’s my turn to shoot on that donkey. Whether it be with my words or my double-leg takedowns, my shooting won’t stop until my opponent is down!
And I assure you Jolee is going down tomorrow night: but I don’t think that boring hag will ever be down with the LFL. She’s a stuffy prude who’s trapped in the feminism of the 1970s, because that’s probably the year she made her wrestling debut! The world is moving past her and the LFL is giving luchadors another avenue to pursue greatness in. Jolee is just mad that she’s too one-dimensional to make a team, and that’s why she tried to take her anger out on Lissie Hope, ending her season!
But Jolee’s day of reckoning is on the horizon…because I AM HER HORIZON! I’m her ultimate limitation, guaranteed to come and usher in a new day of PURE championship lucha!
