Post by Remy Nouveau on Dec 9, 2022 15:57:04 GMT -5
”I can’t imagine working for that sewer rat, Joey Bunga.” - Remy Nouveau
”We got the guy I wanted, he’ll be making his debut in CruiserHavoc…” - Joey Bunga, 12/6/22
A Hostage Crisis in Action Wrestling…
That’s essentially what brings me to this match, to this show, to this stage. I am a man held against my will. Not a week ago, I shook hands with Danny Powers…signed his contract…made it official. REMY NOUVEAU WAS THE NEWEST SUPERSTAR OF MONDAY NIGHT CLASH.
And then Tuesday happened. And now? Now Joey Bunga thinks he’s got a new toy in his toy box. An action figure with whom he can do any damn thing he pleases. Some kind of object that lacks the power to enforce his own will.
For most people on this roster, he might have been right. If he stuck his claws into Teo Blaze or Max Daemon or the LWO, Bunga might have gotten what he wanted without a hint of consequence. But with me? With Remy Nouveau? Joey Bunga’s just taken a step out into a hard driving shit storm, and he’s about to find out what happens when he enters a dick measuring contest with John Holmes.
I am going to go into CruiserHavoc and win the goddamn thing if for no reason other than to show the world how much better I am than Joey Bunga’s roster of rejects, misfits, and paper-champions. I am a class above everyone you’ve EVER seen on this show. I am everything QDT wanted to be. I am the magic Andre Jenson attempts to convince himself he can throw. I am Teo Blaze’s most potent wet dream. There isn’t a soul on this roster that has the pedigree I do or the fire in their belly that I do, and I’m damn well going to outclass and EMBARASS each and every one of Bunga’s little pets on my way to making him fully and absolutely regret the way he has fucked me through and through with his draft shenanigans and bullshit. I am going to destroy CruiserClash to spite the sentient herpes sore that cashes the CCGM paycheck, and when it’s all done, the smoke has cleared and the devastation I inflicted upon the entire show becomes crystal clear and undeniable, I’ll look Bunga in the eye and ask him if spitting in my face was worth the series of perpetual L’s I have handed him.
But lest I sound like the piss-pants whiner Roddy Zalez, I’m not going to waste every minute of this airtime on my burning hate for Bunga. Instead, I want to make the locker room aware that the times are changing. The CruiserClash you’ve come to know and be too complacent to improve is going to experience something new. This show is about to learn what it means to do this job. I’m DONE with the idle talk and cold shoulder toward success that has become this whole show’s vibe. This roster let two guys walk into the ring and become the longest reigning tag champions of all time in under a month… This roster let Teo Blaze secure the biggest prize on CruiseClash four goddamn times all because he got sick of eating pins and counting lights on the main roster… This show welcomes the leadership of an entitled brat like Serenity Holmes… This roster just doesn’t have the spine to do a damn thing but fall in line, and after CruiserHavoc and until my lawyers can punch a hole in Bunga’s horseshit, they have to get used to falling in line behind me.
My arrival might be under much less than ideal circumstances for me, but for everyone else? It’s even worse. My presence on this roster is inauspicious for every single other person that exists on it. Whether I want to be here or not, I am the new era of CruiserClash, and I’ll live and die to make EVERYONE pay for the wrongs against me by the snake Joey Bunga and the invertebrate Danny Powers. This place will eat my contract.
This is the dawning of a dark age for CruiserClash, and at CruiserHavoc, it isn’t modern violence, it’s Wrestling Nouveau.
