Post by Spencer Adams on Nov 12, 2022 23:56:55 GMT -5
Billy: Both of them are down!
Chris Avery: Who can take advantage!
75.
Adrenaline has carried me to this point and its effects hadn’t just stopped at in-match endurance, but had taken the thought of the wounded hand off my mind completely. My thoughts are submerged, sounding more like I was in the bathroom of the arena rather than in-ring and surrounded by thousands of other people.
This is it though. Vaccine hit. Just make the fucking cover. Do it.
Do it.
ONE!!
Seventy-five is right there. Nothing else, just seventy-five. That’s all that matters right now is getting this and getting onto the next one. I can do this. I’ve been here before. No excuses.
TWO!!
This is the start of what you’ve been building all year towards. This is your moment. Just this.
THREE!!
So..why is he still here? Why do I still see him? Gun still in hand, the blast that gives off no noise and still manages to pierce through my ear canal in erie stylistic sync with the bullet through his head.
DING DING DING
Billy: SPENCER MOVES ON!!
Chris Avery: LAST YEARS FINALIST HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
I thought I was past this, past the dwelling on the past and escaping to a place that I’ve only ever wanted to escape from. It never really changes though, does it? Same old song, same old-
“Life is a journey, you know? Not a destination
Lean not towards the egoistic intonations
Positive vibrations bring real liberation
It's the will of the heart, the strength of the mind
And the love of the creator that will help us rise out of these sadistic situations
And experience the purity that exists in our creation, you know?”
You finally took that look in the mirror and made the assessments that only you could make, because let’s be real, your self-criticisms are the only ones that could ever matter. Maybe they’ve been similar to the opinions of others internally, but in this industry, you either make the choice to carry weight or lay under it like a submissive slug. I’d be justified in criticizing your timing if I chose to, but growth and promise are still growth and promise and as a fellow ring veteran, I’d rather see you act like you give a shit late than never.
Still, why are we having this conversation? Why is it that I get to stand here and talk about Dionysus like he’s something lesser than what he is whatsoever? After all, there’s only two names from the first AW show still going at it in this company today: Spencer Adams and Dionysus. So, why do I feel like I’m alone in the statistics? Why don’t I feel like I have a true counterpart in you? Oh, I know the reason, but do you? Have you stopped to think about the effects that the way you carry and sell yourself have on the way that you perform in a wrestling ring?
Hell, I’ll go back even further. Even looking at WCF, it’s not like I entered the mainstream too long before you did and to your credit, you became a standout among Brotherhood alum. If we go by accolades, especially the big one, you were THE standout of that group and that is the issue I’m talking about. Dion, you aren’t looked at and spoken about like a never was because you actually are. You’re historically looked at as a middling talent, because you let people forget about the fact that you’re a world champion.
Maybe pride, maybe a desire to get back to that point and not settle on past achievements, but you let that shit get shuffled away in a sea of manilla and you look like a fucking chump for doing so. It’s almost as if in the Dionysus universe, being world champion means dick all even to you. You could have been weaponizing it this entire time, muttering about it under your breath during workout sessions and making that version of yourself and maintaining that status a healthy obsession, one that could push you further and further up the ranks of all time greats, but you’ve fucked it off.
Who gives a shit if it was only a month? It could’ve been a day long reign and you’d still have that with you, but relinquishing being champion with the championship is the route that you took. It’s fucking depressing that you join the detractors in acting like it’s Downfall and your place in Vanguard that made you. It could’ve been different, better even. You should be his equal and the fact that you were ever a thorn in the side and someone whose partner felt any degree of reluctance is fucking insane.
YOU settled for sidekick, settled for Tostitos and name pun jokes. Others have made disparaging comments, but it was you who took a shovel upside the dome of the world champion you were. Ten times out of ten, Dionysus screws Dionysus and allows the buzzards to pick strip after strip of flesh from the bones. Your fall off has been mostly whimsical for you and that’s the thing that pisses me off, Dion. I respect your tenure in Action Wrestling, but I loathe who you’ve been through the vast majority of it.
You picked the last few weeks to act like the old you, to carry yourself like a standard bearer and it got a win over a white hot Jill Park. I’m not looking past that, but while you’ve been this version of you for three weeks..I’ve been Spencer fucking Adams my whole life. I became world champ early on and never stopped fighting like one, never let people forget that I’m that fucking guy. Experience matters just like who you are matters. Right now, you’re a moment…just not this moment, because you’re looking at it. Smaller than you, but bigger than you’ve ever been. You look ready, sure, but are you? Has half a decade of nothing prepared you? Let’s see it, Dion. Let’s see you…
Dance now.
Adilene: Does it still hurt?
The discomfort in the air was something near tangible and basically rolling off Adilene’s person. I’d be lying if I didn’t feel it myself, but with a tinge of shame and embarrassment.
Adilene: Spencer.
Spencer: I’ll be fine though. I’ve worked through worse. A few cuts aren’t a big deal.
Adilene: You still haven’t told me why?
Though I feel like maybe I did and we’re both just now seeing it.
Adilene: I love you…we love you. Whatever it is, we’ll get it figured out. I want you to be right.
Spencer: I will be. I’ll have it looked into…just…I’ll get through the tournament and then I’ll talk to someone, I swear.
Adilene: Next week.
Spencer: Next week?
Her eyes lower, but their aim remains locked on mine. In a way, the heaviness in my own gut was irrelevant and she was right in her thinking.
I’m sure the win over Jill is sitting heavy with you right now. After all, you weren’t supposed to be the one advancing to this point. The pundits expected Jill and instead, they got someone who punched their way to the sweet sixteen as a fringe candidate. You tweaked a tired game plan and you yielded a result I’m not sure even you really expected. Now, you have to do it again and this time, there’s no Dandy DiVito at the opponents feet. A year ago, I had Dune at mine, but this is Dionysus versus Spencer Adams with no interruptions. You can’t be Dionysus with the slight adjustment, the bit of luck, or the circumstances on his side.
Seventeen and zero says that’s weak shit.
Seventy-five wins says that doesn’t cut it.
This is the first real time you’ve allowed yourself to put stock into the now, but what about in a week? What about when the man who calls himself Deathproof eats a Grapevine and gets back up, eats a stiff elbow that covers him in his own blood and asks you for more because he likes the way it feels? How about CJ Phoenix showing out with the chip he’s had on his shoulder for damn near two years? What about when Gerard Angelo shows you his ability to manage through distractions or background noise or when your own tag team partner lead pipes you upside the fucking dome piece, because while it’s nothing personal, he understands the importance of the moment that historically speaking..you do not?
Dion, you’re a good dude. I’d go as far as to say you’re even a great one. You’re fiercely loyal and I can relate to that, but you’re not fierce. You’re not so gritty as to walk in with attire that’s clean and walk out with attire that’s stained red as a result of your own actions. Remember, you let this moment leave you before. You sank and got cozy as you did so. I’ve NEVER stopped chasing it. That’s why nobody has put me down for a three in the fucking calendar year and who you’ve been for years now is the reason that you sure as shit won’t be the first one to do so.
Best of luck with your 2023.
CJ: Just a few steps away from a King Shit final, huh? We get ours, hopefully Jonny gets his soon enough and who knows? Maybe we’re celebrating in the New Year as a whole unit.
Spencer: I’d love nothing more, man.
CJ: I mean, if not-
Spencer: We don’t do “if not” here.
CJ: Right.
Spencer: CJ..I-
CJ: Yeah?
Spencer: Nothing, it’s nothing.
Sometimes, I do wonder if living the life that others want for me is enough and I think it’s why I find myself doing the dance that I do. Not just living for me, but trying to model for the family that are here now by giving them a more put together version of myself than what actually exists. If I look the part and I act the part, maybe I’ll become that person after all and all those scars won’t be quite so prominent. Maybe I’m just dancing, sometimes selfishly..or maybe not. Either way, does it matter? After all, aren’t I still dancing?
