Post by Tatiana on Oct 30, 2022 8:00:56 GMT -5
God did it ever hurt… My body, my ego, my dignity… How often does this happen to me? How often do I get into the ring with great expectations only to fail miserably? The answer, unfortunately for me - is far too often. It was easy for my opponents to talk shit about my abysmal track record. And to be honest I’d do the same thing if the roles were reversed.
“And action”
The producer gave the queue as my attention raised up from my place in the arena basement. It was their idea to film this vignette here in honor of Halloween - but I was indifferent about it.
“Addy… I’m about to say something that you might find surprising… But you're right.”
I leaned back against the wall, lost in a moment of recollection. Everything she’s said about me… Shit, everything EVERYONE has said about me this year has been spot on. I’m a loser, I’m out of my element, I’m focused on the wrong things, I’m the opposite of clutch
“It has been anything but a fruitful year for me in Action Wrestling. I’ve continued to come up short time and time again - whether that is against Balfore, Lissie, Angelo, or even Addy A…. My reputation is on repeat… And the record states that Tatiana Jolee doesn’t have what it takes to compete in Action Wrestling”
This was rather blunt, and disarmingly pessimistic. In this business, the idea was to go out there and talk shit. To explain why you’re the best in the world… It was a narcissistic parody on repeat - and I’d done it over and over with more and more fretful results.
“I’m that girl who ‘almost’ gets the brass ring. I’m the one that always puts up a hard fight and yet when it comes time to put an end to the match… I’m out of ideas”
“It happened last week when I had victory in the bubble match in my grasp… Only to have Dion prove why he’s a legend around here… It happened when I vied for the CBS Championship, the U.S Championship, and just about every other high-profile fight I’ve been in”
“In the world of Action Wrestling…. I’m a loser. A hack. A wannabe… A nobody. And trust me, sweetheart - I don’t need you to remind me because I remind myself Every. Single. Day.”
It was the only consistent thing I was good for here in AW.
I was a ‘good little worker’ and that’s probably the only reason they keep me on
But like everyone else, I wanted more
I expected more
And I've let myself down time and time again.
“Meanwhile, you grab attention. You’re bright, vibrant, confident, and for the most part… Successful. You hold not one, but two championships and have no reason whatsoever to expect that you’ll unify them with a victory on Monday Night Clash. In fact, the odds say so as you’re in at 2:1 in Las Vegas”
“Does that mean you’re fated to win the match and unify those championships? Does it mean that you’re the one chosen to lead Action Wrestling into a new era of prosperity and excitement?... Maybe?”
“It certainly doesn’t mean I’m going out there to lay down so you can have your pink satin victory party over the bloated corpse of my AW career”
I raised my eyes up to the camera, my expression was devoid of any emotion. No smile, no frustration or anger - just a sense of deep stoicism. I was a beaten, battered, defeated, and lost fighter - but I was far from a dead one.
“No”
“I could wax lyrical about the Television Title… Do that Tativision hashtag and act like I’m just better in TV Title matches. But that’d be a line of crap even the most devoted of my fans wouldn't swallow”
“I’m not going to make proclamations. I’m not going to run my mouth and make a fool of everything I’ve worked so hard for over the past 23 years. You’re the champion, you deserve the spotlight - and though everyone has written me off in this 11th hour, you should know this… Even as I throw my last battalion forward in an effort to stem the collapse...”
"I'm not yet beaten"
That came with a low growl...
“A wounded animal, though battered and backed into a corner, isn't a dead animal… In fact, the wolf is at its most dangerous when it has nothing left to lose.”
Finally, a little smirk at the corner of my mouth
“So, when the cards are on the table in the last act of this war, are you willing to gamble it all?”
This was my mess.
I stepped in it
And only I can step out of it…
The producer gave the queue as my attention raised up from my place in the arena basement. It was their idea to film this vignette here in honor of Halloween - but I was indifferent about it.
My only goal was the Television Title
“Addy… I’m about to say something that you might find surprising… But you're right.”
I leaned back against the wall, lost in a moment of recollection. Everything she’s said about me… Shit, everything EVERYONE has said about me this year has been spot on. I’m a loser, I’m out of my element, I’m focused on the wrong things, I’m the opposite of clutch
Does that make me a bad person?
No
Does it make me a bad wrestler?
YES
“It has been anything but a fruitful year for me in Action Wrestling. I’ve continued to come up short time and time again - whether that is against Balfore, Lissie, Angelo, or even Addy A…. My reputation is on repeat… And the record states that Tatiana Jolee doesn’t have what it takes to compete in Action Wrestling”
This was rather blunt, and disarmingly pessimistic. In this business, the idea was to go out there and talk shit. To explain why you’re the best in the world… It was a narcissistic parody on repeat - and I’d done it over and over with more and more fretful results.
“I’m that girl who ‘almost’ gets the brass ring. I’m the one that always puts up a hard fight and yet when it comes time to put an end to the match… I’m out of ideas”
I nodded my head, my eyes hardly looking up at the camera as I spoke in a low monotone…
It felt like I was at a funeral, and the person in the casket was me.
“It happened last week when I had victory in the bubble match in my grasp… Only to have Dion prove why he’s a legend around here… It happened when I vied for the CBS Championship, the U.S Championship, and just about every other high-profile fight I’ve been in”
That hurt… Even though it was my own poison pill, it still went down jagged.
“In the world of Action Wrestling…. I’m a loser. A hack. A wannabe… A nobody. And trust me, sweetheart - I don’t need you to remind me because I remind myself Every. Single. Day.”
It was the only consistent thing I was good for here in AW.
I was a ‘good little worker’ and that’s probably the only reason they keep me on
But like everyone else, I wanted more
I expected more
And I've let myself down time and time again.
“Meanwhile, you grab attention. You’re bright, vibrant, confident, and for the most part… Successful. You hold not one, but two championships and have no reason whatsoever to expect that you’ll unify them with a victory on Monday Night Clash. In fact, the odds say so as you’re in at 2:1 in Las Vegas”
I let out another sigh, that knot in the pit of my stomach tightening.
I felt sick… Frustrated… Even worthless
And for good reason.
I gave a shrug… If I could read the future, I wouldn’t be taking bumps for a living.
“It certainly doesn’t mean I’m going out there to lay down so you can have your pink satin victory party over the bloated corpse of my AW career”
I raised my eyes up to the camera, my expression was devoid of any emotion. No smile, no frustration or anger - just a sense of deep stoicism. I was a beaten, battered, defeated, and lost fighter - but I was far from a dead one.
“No”
But why believe me when I’ve failed so many times?
“I could wax lyrical about the Television Title… Do that Tativision hashtag and act like I’m just better in TV Title matches. But that’d be a line of crap even the most devoted of my fans wouldn't swallow”
I pulled off the wall, my expression growing ever more intense and poignant.
The odds were against me. But the fight wasn't over - in fact it hadn’t yet begun.
“I’m not going to make proclamations. I’m not going to run my mouth and make a fool of everything I’ve worked so hard for over the past 23 years. You’re the champion, you deserve the spotlight - and though everyone has written me off in this 11th hour, you should know this… Even as I throw my last battalion forward in an effort to stem the collapse...”
I stepped forward, getting ever so close to the camera
My expression had darkened
Devolved
I wasn’t just some fading starlet
No, this was different
Primal…
"I'm not yet beaten"
That came with a low growl...
“A wounded animal, though battered and backed into a corner, isn't a dead animal… In fact, the wolf is at its most dangerous when it has nothing left to lose.”
Finally, a little smirk at the corner of my mouth
“So, when the cards are on the table in the last act of this war, are you willing to gamble it all?”
“Because I am…”
And like a dead man playing his last hand of cards…
I just might come up with Aces and Eights
