Post by Andre Jenson on Oct 16, 2022 12:25:02 GMT -5
Hi folks, narrator here. Back once again with another day in the life of your erstwhile hero Andre Jenson. Let me tell you today he’s very confused. Vexed, bewildered, addled, befuddled and quite possibly demented because he…
Well let’s just put it in his words, here he is talking to long time friend Amy. We join him in mid conversation
“Disorientated, all at sea! Quite possibly upset at this whole thing!” He ends, holding a dictionary in one hand and a thesaurus in the other.
“Yes, I get that Andre, but that’s your match this week, I don’t know why it confuses you so much.” She replies, herself in a state of puzzlement.
He sighs and flips through the dictionary, pretty much throwing the thesaurus into Amy’s hands.
“Because I’m convinced we’re in the Matrix, Amy! I have that thing, you know where you see things over and over again and it’s a glitch in the Matrix!”
“Deja vu?”
“Bless you.”
“What?”
“No I mean the phenomenon of seeing things that have already happened! Like I feel that this match between Azzy Vebs and I has already happened, many times!”
“Yes, deja vu.”
“Do you have a cold? But yeah this has happened so many times now that I am absolutely sure that we’ve been infiltrated by the Matrix and agent Smith will be through this telephone line henceforth!”
“Landlines don’t really exist now Andre.”
“How’d they get in and out then?”
“Door portals now, don’t bother watching the latest movie.”
“And where did all these infernal dictionaries come from?”
He looks around and our god-cam pans out too, to share the room, choc full of dictionaries of all languages, sizes and publishers.”
“Well it’s national dictionary day so, when you knew you were facing Azzy Vebs you ordered them all.”
“I did?”
“Well yes and no, I think Ted took it literally when you said “here’s my paypal, get all the dictionaries you can.” He also got you a bunch of thesauruses, thinking out of the box.”
“I like that. Give him a promotion.
Anyway, so that doesn’t explain why this match is still a thing. Are we in 2020 again?
AW don’t call me for weeks and the first thing they do is ask me to face Azzy Vebs again? There’s no one I’ve faced more than her, whether it be solo, tag team, multi tag or whatever. You couldn’t have a CruiserClash show at one point without seeing Andre Jenson v Azzurine Vebbins!
I don’t blame them, every time it’s a classic. Every time we go at each other like. Like, erm.”
He grabs the thesaurus he gave to Amy, flicks through the pages and throws a triumphant yell when he sees it.
“Rabid wild psychotic wolves.
We bring the house down basically, so I understand why we’re the go to when they need a heater, I’d do the same. But this is all very familiar.
I can say lots of things about Azzy, like how she lives in her own little bubble and doesn’t really have a grasp of reality, despite how talented she is, which holds her back. Or how in celebrating every single extraneous holiday out there she leaves nothing to celebrate herself. Where is national Azzy Vebbins day? Where is the self love where you spend time on yourself to become a better you? Where is the day you put aside to follow your own advice and live in the moment? There isn’t one.
This is why, in our historic battles over the years, the gents have always stood tall at the end. It’s why we hold the biggest title in the company, it’s why we have won the tag team titles more than anyone can count and is why, when it’s all said and done, I am called upon. The Gentsignal went up and I am answering this week, giving Teo a much needed day off.
Because that’s how it is with us, if Teo is away, I can slot in in his absence. We give the fans what they want and they want the gents. They always have and always will.
After all, in AW every day is national gents day.
