Post by Jessie Lee on Sept 4, 2022 13:52:39 GMT -5
"Hoooooo boy, here we go again lads an' ladies."
"The world is all abuzz with what went down at Uprisin' an' I can't say I blame 'em in the slightest; that shit was dope as all fuck to watch! Woulda been a bit better if ol' Pastersnack had pulled a string or two an' got me a match with one of those Omega folks an' gave those silly blokes some shine, but I ain't judgin'. I mean, I am judgin'......but I ain't judgin' the event or who was or wasn't involved. No sir."
"I'm just judgin' the two bubble-brained delusional fucks that I gotta contend with- that I gotta straight fuckin' CARRY- in this post Uprisin' twenty twenty-two era of Monday Night Clash an' I gotta say that task is a pretty daunting thing to accomplish. I may not be afraid of gettin' my throat slit on live television, but Jesus fuckin' Christ this is like strappin' two statues of the statue of Liberty to my ankles an' tellin' me to swim across the bloody Atlantic ocean; talk 'bout sink or swim, am I right? Now I know what you're all thinkin'; 'but Jess, you've been gettin' your ass kicked left an' right over the last couple o' weeks. Why're are you callin' Gunn an' Kano pin-headed nob-slobbers when they're both former CBS champions? How on earth could you possibly be be dumb enough to think that ya could hold a candle two either of them?'.
"The answers are REAL fuckin' easy."
"Jessie Lee ain't a frontin' bitch."
"Unlike Roman an' bootleg Diddy Kong, I didn't step into Action Wrestlin' thinkin' I was king shit when I'm nothin' that a fresh steamy pool of liquid shit. I came into Action Wrestlin' lookin' to sharped my skills headin' into a SPLAT! Multiverse championship match an' I stayed for the challenge that every determined motherfuckers in the back of either roster; I'm addicted to the shit. The thrill of winnin' a war against some psycho fuck or sufferin' a nearly debilitatin' heartbreak of a loss, it doesn't matter. Every time I step into that ring I'm lookin' to learn through pain an' blood; desperation an' turmoil."
"Here to grind an' be one of the best Action Wrestlin' has."
"Can't say that 'bout either of you fuck kuckles, can I?"
"Now, I'm sure that the two of you spider fuckers are a little taken aback by this sudden shift in narrative display. I mean, I go from talkin' to the amazin' sea of smart marks lookin' for a good time whenever a Clash hits the airwaves to talkin' to you two fifth generation inbred shitheads. If my IQ was lower than a pair of brain cells bein' rubbed together I'd be confused too. So let me spell it for ya."
"Roman Gunn, the disowned bastard child from the island of relevancy; tell me, cause I REALLY gotta know, how does it feel knowin' that you'll never grow a spine or have ya balls finally develop so that ya can claim to be a man? Cause you're like that little ankle biter from the ol' tale 'The Boy that cried Wold'. Ya stepped into Acton Wrestlin', attempted to stake your claim by pretendin' to be the United States champ for a hot minute, then wormed your way into bein' CBS champ before killin' it; an' I ain't talkin' about your shit-tacular inability between them ropes. a won the strap, got your face kicked in by the woman ya stole it from, then straight up made the entire irrelevant by simply existing. Besides makin' your one crownin' accomplishment utterly meaningless ya couldn't even make yourself known once ya inevitably lost the damn thing. like, dude......what the literal fuck? If ya can't even manage to live up to your end of the contract by even bein' remotely entertaining then just go drown yourself in the ocean of bein' forever pathetic."
"Fuck, I'm makin' myself depressed just talkin' about it."
"NEXT!"
"Kano, my creatively challenged BRUH; how does it feal knowin' that you'll forever be known as the WORST CBS champion ever an' the second best Kano to ever exist on this tiny plant of ours? Seriously, BRUH, ya came into this company spoutin' about how ya were some genius is guerilla warfare an' that your ability to adapt to NY given situation was second to none. Yet, here you are strapless an' about to have your entire deluded sense of reality rung when I lay your brain dead ass in the center of that squred cirle this Monday night; cause that is EXACTLY what I'm goin' to do. Ya can try an' play off your loss at Uprisin' as Odin gettin' lucky; cause that's what ya overconfident self-deludin' types do; but the simple fact is that you don't have any idea what it is to adapt."
"Pay attention kiddo, cause I'm gonna teach ya."
"Bein' able to adapt ain't just about reactin' an' changin' game plans in the middle of a match and it sure as fuck ain't about havin' to deal with the violence, drugs, an' sex in this fucked up world that we're forced to face; that's just every day life, dumbass. It's about bein' able to get your bearings when you're in a situation so over your head that ya can't even breath; about tacklin' challenges that are on a completely different level than you are. Somethin' that ya clearly have no handle on; Odin GAVE you that CBS strap by takin' Cashe out an' then he went and took it from your dumb ass that actually thought that he had managed to accomplish somethin'. Ya didn't adapt, Kano my boy, just like you're not gonna adapt after losin' at Uprisin'."
"You don't know how to."
"I do."
"I do an', whether anyone likes it or not, I HAVE and will continue to do so until my Aussie ass is taken out for good. So bring it on, ya knuckle-draggin' inbred scum sucker; bring that frat fucc boi energy to the ring an' find out what it's like to have your face slapped down to the canvas for the second time in two fuckin' weeks. Bring that over indulgent self-hype that's got ya believin' that you're on your way to bein' the top guy 'round here when you're really bein' placed into that incinerator so I can torch those ya."
"To make a long story EXTREMELY short."
"Gear up motherfuckers and let's fuckin' gooooooooooooooooo!"[/font\
"Come on, pick up ya knucklehead. I need ya here."
With the phone pressed to her ear, she waited with bated breath as she waited for her partner in crime; Min-jun Jin; to pick up. The last month or so had been rough and she couldn't help but feel like she was beginning to lose herself int the seemingly endless depths of the perpetually storm-ridden ocean that was the professional wrestling world. If her career in Action Wrestling slipping wasn't bad enough her time in Revolution One; that restarted before ultimately closing down once again; mirrored her recent downward slope.
"C'mon dumbass. Pick up."
Waiting several more moments, she finally gave up and tossed her phone onto the other bed of the two bee hotel room in which she was staying; effectively ending the call. She didn't want to admit it; she'd always been stubborn that way; but she couldn't escape the fact that things were getting out of hand. She knew she had to break this recent rend of putting of subpar performances, she just didn't know HOW precisely. Winning was a good start of course, however, she wasn't sure beyond that inevitable thumping she planned on giving Roman and Kano on Monday. Masuda had been creamed by Singh at Uprising and Lord knew that she had one hell of a time dealing with that bastard several weeks ago and CruiserClash as a whole.
"Fuck it. I'll figure it out on Monday."
With an exasperated sigh, Jessie pushed herself off the bed and headed for the dinky ass bathroom to take a shower; hoping to clear her head before tomorrow's fight.
"The world is all abuzz with what went down at Uprisin' an' I can't say I blame 'em in the slightest; that shit was dope as all fuck to watch! Woulda been a bit better if ol' Pastersnack had pulled a string or two an' got me a match with one of those Omega folks an' gave those silly blokes some shine, but I ain't judgin'. I mean, I am judgin'......but I ain't judgin' the event or who was or wasn't involved. No sir."
"I'm just judgin' the two bubble-brained delusional fucks that I gotta contend with- that I gotta straight fuckin' CARRY- in this post Uprisin' twenty twenty-two era of Monday Night Clash an' I gotta say that task is a pretty daunting thing to accomplish. I may not be afraid of gettin' my throat slit on live television, but Jesus fuckin' Christ this is like strappin' two statues of the statue of Liberty to my ankles an' tellin' me to swim across the bloody Atlantic ocean; talk 'bout sink or swim, am I right? Now I know what you're all thinkin'; 'but Jess, you've been gettin' your ass kicked left an' right over the last couple o' weeks. Why're are you callin' Gunn an' Kano pin-headed nob-slobbers when they're both former CBS champions? How on earth could you possibly be be dumb enough to think that ya could hold a candle two either of them?'.
"The answers are REAL fuckin' easy."
"Jessie Lee ain't a frontin' bitch."
"Unlike Roman an' bootleg Diddy Kong, I didn't step into Action Wrestlin' thinkin' I was king shit when I'm nothin' that a fresh steamy pool of liquid shit. I came into Action Wrestlin' lookin' to sharped my skills headin' into a SPLAT! Multiverse championship match an' I stayed for the challenge that every determined motherfuckers in the back of either roster; I'm addicted to the shit. The thrill of winnin' a war against some psycho fuck or sufferin' a nearly debilitatin' heartbreak of a loss, it doesn't matter. Every time I step into that ring I'm lookin' to learn through pain an' blood; desperation an' turmoil."
"Here to grind an' be one of the best Action Wrestlin' has."
"Can't say that 'bout either of you fuck kuckles, can I?"
"Now, I'm sure that the two of you spider fuckers are a little taken aback by this sudden shift in narrative display. I mean, I go from talkin' to the amazin' sea of smart marks lookin' for a good time whenever a Clash hits the airwaves to talkin' to you two fifth generation inbred shitheads. If my IQ was lower than a pair of brain cells bein' rubbed together I'd be confused too. So let me spell it for ya."
"Roman Gunn, the disowned bastard child from the island of relevancy; tell me, cause I REALLY gotta know, how does it feel knowin' that you'll never grow a spine or have ya balls finally develop so that ya can claim to be a man? Cause you're like that little ankle biter from the ol' tale 'The Boy that cried Wold'. Ya stepped into Acton Wrestlin', attempted to stake your claim by pretendin' to be the United States champ for a hot minute, then wormed your way into bein' CBS champ before killin' it; an' I ain't talkin' about your shit-tacular inability between them ropes. a won the strap, got your face kicked in by the woman ya stole it from, then straight up made the entire irrelevant by simply existing. Besides makin' your one crownin' accomplishment utterly meaningless ya couldn't even make yourself known once ya inevitably lost the damn thing. like, dude......what the literal fuck? If ya can't even manage to live up to your end of the contract by even bein' remotely entertaining then just go drown yourself in the ocean of bein' forever pathetic."
"Fuck, I'm makin' myself depressed just talkin' about it."
"NEXT!"
"Kano, my creatively challenged BRUH; how does it feal knowin' that you'll forever be known as the WORST CBS champion ever an' the second best Kano to ever exist on this tiny plant of ours? Seriously, BRUH, ya came into this company spoutin' about how ya were some genius is guerilla warfare an' that your ability to adapt to NY given situation was second to none. Yet, here you are strapless an' about to have your entire deluded sense of reality rung when I lay your brain dead ass in the center of that squred cirle this Monday night; cause that is EXACTLY what I'm goin' to do. Ya can try an' play off your loss at Uprisin' as Odin gettin' lucky; cause that's what ya overconfident self-deludin' types do; but the simple fact is that you don't have any idea what it is to adapt."
"Pay attention kiddo, cause I'm gonna teach ya."
"Bein' able to adapt ain't just about reactin' an' changin' game plans in the middle of a match and it sure as fuck ain't about havin' to deal with the violence, drugs, an' sex in this fucked up world that we're forced to face; that's just every day life, dumbass. It's about bein' able to get your bearings when you're in a situation so over your head that ya can't even breath; about tacklin' challenges that are on a completely different level than you are. Somethin' that ya clearly have no handle on; Odin GAVE you that CBS strap by takin' Cashe out an' then he went and took it from your dumb ass that actually thought that he had managed to accomplish somethin'. Ya didn't adapt, Kano my boy, just like you're not gonna adapt after losin' at Uprisin'."
"You don't know how to."
"I do."
"I do an', whether anyone likes it or not, I HAVE and will continue to do so until my Aussie ass is taken out for good. So bring it on, ya knuckle-draggin' inbred scum sucker; bring that frat fucc boi energy to the ring an' find out what it's like to have your face slapped down to the canvas for the second time in two fuckin' weeks. Bring that over indulgent self-hype that's got ya believin' that you're on your way to bein' the top guy 'round here when you're really bein' placed into that incinerator so I can torch those ya."
"To make a long story EXTREMELY short."
"Gear up motherfuckers and let's fuckin' gooooooooooooooooo!"[/font\
"Come on, pick up ya knucklehead. I need ya here."
With the phone pressed to her ear, she waited with bated breath as she waited for her partner in crime; Min-jun Jin; to pick up. The last month or so had been rough and she couldn't help but feel like she was beginning to lose herself int the seemingly endless depths of the perpetually storm-ridden ocean that was the professional wrestling world. If her career in Action Wrestling slipping wasn't bad enough her time in Revolution One; that restarted before ultimately closing down once again; mirrored her recent downward slope.
"C'mon dumbass. Pick up."
Waiting several more moments, she finally gave up and tossed her phone onto the other bed of the two bee hotel room in which she was staying; effectively ending the call. She didn't want to admit it; she'd always been stubborn that way; but she couldn't escape the fact that things were getting out of hand. She knew she had to break this recent rend of putting of subpar performances, she just didn't know HOW precisely. Winning was a good start of course, however, she wasn't sure beyond that inevitable thumping she planned on giving Roman and Kano on Monday. Masuda had been creamed by Singh at Uprising and Lord knew that she had one hell of a time dealing with that bastard several weeks ago and CruiserClash as a whole.
"Fuck it. I'll figure it out on Monday."
With an exasperated sigh, Jessie pushed herself off the bed and headed for the dinky ass bathroom to take a shower; hoping to clear her head before tomorrow's fight.
