Year of Wine and Roses: Brotherhood
Sept 4, 2022 13:31:16 GMT -5
Downfall, Gerard Angelo, and 2 more like this
Post by Dionysus on Sept 4, 2022 13:31:16 GMT -5
"Well then, let us continue." Elbrook's office was as pristine as ever, as he offered the usual chair for me to sit in. I accepted, taking a seat while he closed his office door. It always felt like there was never an object out of place, no stray papers or belongings left behind from other patients. I never did find out whether he was that attentive to his tidying habits, or if he simply had time between patients to clean up. "I see you are looking over my office again," he observed, also taking his proper place in the chair across from me. "Anything wrong?" "Just making myself comfortable," I off-handedly responded. My mind had been busy, awash with the memories of my past. "With my line of work, sleep is tricky." Elbrook nodded, writing a note on his pad. "In a previous session, we discussed the use of medication to assist you with this-" "And I recall," I interrupted briskly, "when we had that conversation, I told you no. Not unless it was medically necessary." Me losing an hour or two of sleep was not the issue; why insist on adding a sleeping aid? "Besides, my sleep, when I do get the chance, is fine; no tossing and turning, no interruptions in cycle. I've just had a few long days recently." I could feel the doctor's disapproving gaze before I even saw it. I thought little of it; in his line of work I'm sure he's been lied to about this particular problem. "Then I suppose I shall take you at your word. While you do look and sound tired, I do believe you are in better spirits. Normally it takes a few minutes before you are feisty." I chuckled, dryly, allowing myself to relax into a smile. "I suppose so. I took your advice and started reading my old journals; it really helped piece things back together. But I still feel like there's something missing." "Yes, this is normal. Gaps in memory can form when disassociation occurs." There it was again. That word. "I wonder, what prompted this feeling of loss?" "I spent a few hours digging through storage to find those journals," I began, as Elbrook scratched away on the notepad. "In that time, I found some of my mother's old photos. The first photo I saw was when my parents first met. They were at a concert; Benny was playing that night and had introduced them to each other. Between sets, he caught a quick picture with the couple. Mom looked embarrassed, and dad...he seemed happy. Like he knew he belonged with these people." I paused, only looking up when I heard Elbrook stop writing. He looked back at me, as if to encourage me to continue. "I guess I feel as though I haven't had that kind of trust in my life. Don't misunderstand; my parents loved me and told me as much. But..." "But you feel as though the base need for someone in your corner has not been met for some time?" I'll admit, hearing someone else say those words made me glad that this was not just a weird circumstance for just me. The way he responded made that feeling typical. "Precisely," I finally spoke. "I used to have people I knew would be in my corner. We were misfits and outcasts, with the need to build each other up being the reason we came together. Kevin. Lester. Damian. Joe. CJ. Frank. At first I was just along for the ride, discovering more about myself and learning to coexist with others again. They really helped me rebound. It felt...familial, like they were more brothers than friends. Then, when we had a death in the group, we needed someone to step up. I made the choice to do that, with no complaints from anyone else. And we did what anyone else would have done in that circumstance. We carried on." "This is the first I have heard of these people. Where are they now in your life?" All I could do was shrug. "Life took us different ways. We felt comfortable with where our lives were and decided it was best." "That must have been difficult." "At first I thought it would be. Aside from Kevin, I had grown the most attached to our group. But time heals all wounds, right? I like to think we're still close, but who knows?" I chuckled into a cough, not really convincing myself of what I was saying. That didn't stop Elbrook from jotting down his notes. "How about recently? You have had no one to support you aside from yourself?" "Well there's Daniel, my partner." "Intimate?" I grimaced. "Professional." "I meant nothing by that. Typically when someone identifies their partner it is usually in an intimate framework." I relaxed, stupidly; I could have phrased that better. "What I mean is, he is my tag team partner." A look of recognition, followed by a nod, came from Elbrook. "Of course. You and Daniel, the Vanguard, the Two Wolves...I believe this is what you have told me before?" "Yes. At first we were rivals...or rather, I saw him as one. I'm sure Daniel would tell you I was just in the way when we first came to blows. But over time, we developed an understanding and respect for each other, and we decided to put the strength of that respect to the test. It was the first time in a long while that I had achieved something, anything, where I had worked. And yet...recently, I'm concerned he is going to be the cause of his own downfall. He's become more violent and out of my control. And worse still, his actions are causing others harm." "And this is the same man who caused your injury, which is why you are even here today?" I hesitated to answer, but decided on the safe bet. Honesty. "He was the catalyst for my injury, sure, but that was an accident. This is deliberate action. I mean, lashing out with a crowbar? Feeling justified because he has had a slump lately and feels like he's owed something? I've been in a much longer slump and you don't see me beating the piss out of people." More scratching of the pen. Then a tapping noise. "Dionysus, I wonder if you could answer something for me. Is your concern regarding Daniel's actions that they are extremely violent by nature of your business...or is it because you fear what he may do to you again?" "Beg pardon?" "A lot of our conversations result in us discussing how those close to you are impacted by your life. Your mother in the car accident. Your uncle's incarceration. Your father's disappearance. Your past checkers you as a man of self-sacrifice, with the need to be able to best control the circumstances so that others can survive while you suffer. I feel this may be why the lender...Divine, was it? I feel this is how he was able to manipulate you for all these years, holding that loan over your head. Until today, when you brought up these friends you described as misfits and their need to belong. They too shared a need with you, and as a result, you felt responsible. To what end, exactly?" "To protect them, I guess." "And now, with Daniel, a person whom you know has a tendency toward violence, that plot has changed. This is not a person who is greatly impacted by the decisions in your life. He is a separate man, capable of making his own decisions and the consequences that come with it. The injury is proof of that; accident or no, this man did intend to do harm to you, and though forgiveness and a middle ground has been established, I cannot confidently state that any of your residual issues with him are over. There may come a time where your relationship will fracture as the two of you go your separate ways. And I feel that should this happen, you fear your ability to withstand the tide, as it were, will not be enough to prevent him from coming to harm. You genuinely care, but you cannot control." Each word struck me harder than when I had the damn head injury. My heart ached. I clenched my fists tight, trying to keep my emotions in check...to the point where I started shaking in my seat. "Are you worried that what I have said is wrong?" I looked up, my eyes hot holding back tears, as I choked out, "I'm worried you might be right." |
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You ever wonder where spiders come from? Genuinely, who asked for spiders to exist? Eight legs, mandibles, shoot sticky liquid out their-you get the idea. You're probably thinking "well it isn't like there's a myth or anything that gives us a reason, Dionysus!" Well WRONG YOU ARE! You have Athena to thank for spiders being part of our crazy world. You see, a woman by the name of Arachne, who thought herself to be the best weaver. The GOAT weaver, as the kids these days would say. Even better than the gods, by her standards. Athena, disguised as an old woman, cautioned Arachne about challenging the gods. Naturally, she said that if they cared about what she had to say, they'd come down here and prove it. The old woman said, "aight, bet," and revealed herself as Athena, challenging Arachne on the spot. Looms were drawn and the weaving was on, Athena weaving about the hubris of man, and Arachne weaving about the gods taking advantage of mortals. In what some might call an uncharacteristic fit of jealously, Athena destroyed Arachne's work as an affront to the gods. Distraught, Arachne attempted to take her own life, but as she hung, Athena cursed her by saying "May you always hang and never stop weaving." ...Yeah, that one is pretty grim. Myths can get messed up like that, but there is plenty that can be taught from these grim lessons, Ms. Calaway. You've certainly made your mark in short time, though the success also went quickly to your head. One entire month as Television Champion, not bad at all; especially considering you lasted longer than the previous four champions combined. But what else is to be expected from the child of the business, right? Being a wrestler's kid myself, I feel like you getting a jumpstart was not unexpected, but inevitable. The tumble back down, meanwhile, seems all too familiar. Welcome to Action Wrestling, where your genes will only carry you so far. I do find it ironic that you feel entitled to a throne, choosing to grab your loom to weave the tale of the innocent little former champion, the queen who had been dethroned. I would applaud the use of your size as a means to dismiss an achievement if it weren't also the fact that it was hypocritical. So weave, little Arachne; spin the yarn and shine that hubris once this is all said and done. Who knows, you could sell that tale to Kidsgrove for the movie rights. I hear he knows people. Speaking of, you doing okay, Kidsgrove? You seem to be giving Angostora a run for their money, considering the bitterness that floats around you like a low-hanging London fog. Spinning the story of the grizzled veteran once more; the man who has given everything and worked at it to be where he is today, only to stumble over and over again when it comes to the big time. The only way we aren't similar is that I'm working on turning my bitterness towards actually making meaningful moves, rather than just accepting the coveted role of "jobber to the stars." But hey, I'd be bitter too if I had a tricky memory and couldn't even remember peoples' names. Oh, you thought I'd forget that one? Naaah, this just makes it more fun. Look, whether or not you want to accept it, you know, I know, and the Action Wrestling locker room knows your best days are behind you. Others are taking on the mantle of the lead while you're looking at the twilight year roles. You know the ones; dutiful mentor that is curmudgeonly but endearing as a result, comedic part for a cool actor that is only taking the role for the paycheck. But you're still holding onto hope that you'll have your shot again. So you push on, ripping the phone number off the flyer for that role each and every time, and the bitterness boils over again when inevitably you miss that callback. Now you're probably thinking, "But Dionysus, you're in the same boat that I am!" And that's true; I too am looking to make my mark and my impact in this business as another of its founding members, but you also don't see me talk about what has been owed to me by this business. My successes are mine. My opportunities are earned. And my failings I take on the chin. I acknowledge them, accept them, and move on with my life. No one bats 1000, but your expectation of an Emmy each time you hit the ring is an annoyance. Even moreso when it is coupled with your feeling that because you are an original, you are owed your shot. Fuck that noise. You're owed shit. You had your chance at All-In You blew the audition, and you're back on the "on-call" list. What even is there for you to prove at this point? What, you don't want your last reign to be remembered like a title to a episode? "The Reign That Lasted A Rinse Cycle" seemed to be a hit with test audiences. You're looking at these opportunities like they are the end of the road for you. I am looking at these opportunities to continue to build. We are not the same...at least not here. I won't end up like you, a bitter performer hanging on to those last threads of Glory and trying to suck the sustenance from them. Even if I fall again, I will get back up, brush myself off, and carry on. That is why I have been able to get the better of you. I have surpassed you. The tapestry that I will weave is one of glory. One that shows that I have ascended to the heights I worked hard to reach. And the two of you will be nothing more than footnotes. |
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