Winston Attacks

"Are you sure you don't want to go with me?" Josslynn spoke out as she gathered her keys and headed for the front door of her apartment.

With Cashe sitting sunk into the couch, he shook his head and responded to Josslynn. "To the nail salon?" His head shook a second time. "Nope. You have fun though!"

"Will you feed Winston please?" She requests as she opens the door to leave. Her hairless cat that Cashe had given her more than a year ago the first time they dated. "He's in a Mood today, I don't know what's wrong with him.."

"He just needs some crack!" Cashe gets up from the couch and jogs over to give his goodbyes to Josslynn. Pulling her in at her waist, he kisses her but she shoves him away.

"Stop calling it that! It's catnip, liquid catnip. It's not crack!" She slaps his outer arm. "Don't make my baby a junkie, he doesn't need any today!" Cashe laughed. Josslynn tried to hold back her laugh but had a cute little grin on her face. He kissed her and she didn't shove him away this time. "I really dislike you.."

"I dislike you more!" He replies and they kiss once more. "Have fun getting your nails did.." He says as he gives her a spank to the bottom left cheek of her butt.

"Bye dork!" She says as she leaves, pulling the door shut behind her. Sighing, Cashe turns and finds Winston sitting in the middle of the living room just staring at him. The cat had these galaxy colored eyes. To Cashe, it looked like ET was having relations with cats and created this breed.

"Winston.." Cashe spoke to the cat as he casually walked past him. The two weren't close and at times, Cashe believed Winston was out to get him.

"Meow.." The hairless demon space cat spoke back.


"I struggle to find where this is a fair match. Jessie Lee and Kano are two newcomers who debuted on the same show just last week. They both got a win and here they are in a position to compete for a Championship!

I can't say it's not earned because before I won this Title, I had not earned a shot for it. However let us call this match what it truly is.. Feeder.

Nobody expects much from either of you. Not based on your debuts anyway. Sure, you won but in what fashion? Who did you beat? What feats did you achieve other than becoming another short clip in the video of my highlight reel?

Who is Kano? The Urban Gorilla as if your nickname adds to anything other than more words for an announcer to say before you get that ass whooping you are willingly walking into!

I didn't ask for a quick meal match, or in this case, a TV Dinner. This match doesn't have meaning outside of it being another mark on successful title defenses in my reign. I want a plate full and this match is but an appetizer.. I almost feel bad for you both. Almost."


"Would you stop following me?" Cashe says as he almost trips over the cat named Winston. "I gave you food! Your Momma said no crack! She doesn't want you to end up like Pookie from New Jack City."

"Meow.."

"I don't speak Catslovian, I took ASL in school, sorry."

"Meow!"

"No means no! You're being a dick right now and I have to watch some tape on my opponents."

"Meoooow!"

"I'm gonna lock you in the fucking bathroom, keep talking to me like that!" Cashe was taking offense to the tone in his meows. The beef was real.

"Meeeeoooow…." The groan in the cat was loud. Usually he would be rubbing against you, purring but his meows didn't sound nice. Winston was annoyed. "Meow! Meeoooow!"

"You can meow all you want. No drugs for you!" Cashe says, almost teasing the cat. Winston scurries across the floor and bites into the back of Cashe's leg as they spill back into the living room. "HEEEY! Chill! Chill!" Cashe turns towards the hairless demon. "Don't get lumped the fuck up!"

Winston scrambles trying to flank Cashe before rushing in and throwing front paws with claws out like he wanted to box. It was kind of cute but with feline evil intentions. Cashe put his own hands up. "Rrrrreeooow!" The cat hisses at Cashe.

"You wanna go!? LET'S FUCKING GO!" Cashe was amped up now, this was long overdue. "Butt naked ass cat, you feel like balls!" His trash talk was matching the idiotic situation he has found himself in.

Winston lost it. He started to run at high speed, bouncing off the walls, the back of the sofa, sliding across table tops and even knocking over a lamp and a chair as he scurried through both the living room and the kitchen. As he comes zooming out from the kitchen, the cat wall walks and springs off the wall with all four paws extended with claws as he flew at Cashe's face!

"Whaaaaat the fuuuck!" Cashe hollers as he stumbles back, trying to hold off this naked cat from scratching and biting at his hands and arms. "You evil son of a bitch!" Launching him at first opportunity, Cashe sends the cat onto the couch. Winston hits the couch and springboards from it as if it was a trampoline. Lightning fast as he again goes into crazy mode, racing around the apartment.

As he comes charging at Cashe once more, Cashe times it and side steps. Winston leaps right through the bathroom doorway as Cashe reaches and shuts the door, trapping the cat inside.

"Haaaa!" Cashe shouts in celebration. "Now what?! Bitch!" His chest was out as he talked shit. Winston was growing, hissing, meowing and clawing at the door from inside the bathroom. Cashe's hands had scratches on them that started to burn. "Punk ass cat.. I better not get cat scratch fever!"

Heading away from the bathroom. Cashe decided it was time for him to get high.


"You'd think management would want to throw the kitchen sink at me. I am an unsigned, paid by appearance Champion in this company! Holding a belt damn near hostage and they've sent former Champions in Kyle Kemp. They have sent the cheap pop fan favorites in Dionysus to lay challenge against me and both have failed!

Do either of you believe you can do what they couldn't? What other than in a Tag Team Battle Royal, hasn't happened otherwise? I sure don't mean to brag and boast because I know I can lose, I know there are names on this roster that can defeat me..

They just aren't named Jessie Lee or Kano.

So take this match as a hard taught lesson. Learn from it. Take the damage and mental scars that I will apply and grow from it. Don't be like Sebastian Stone and tuck tail because you lose and you WILL lose..

Don't be like Elijah Martin and show signs of malfunction while pretending he didn't get outright embarrassed when I swept his bitch ass in not one but TWO companies!

Be better than them. Take notes, get yourself ready for trouble like a fart with some substance behind it!

I am not looking at this match as competition in play. I am seeing it for what it truly is and that is a warm up for what comes after. What will arrive on the 28th because THAT is a match I can lose. A match that I can take notes from and find a challenge in.. Not here, not with either of you because you are being FED to a DiOGee and I plan to eat the snack presented to me but I will leave that ring still hungry.."


"I'm telling you, he was jumping off walls and shit!" Cashe tries to explain. "Look at my hands!" Extending them out so Josslynn could see, he quickly added more to the accusation. "He bit me in my leg!"

"What happened to my baby?" She responds.

"I know, he hurt me.. Is there rehab for cats on catnip?" Cashe thought she meant him when she said 'baby'.

"I meant him!" She slapped at his hands. "What did you do to him?"

There was an expression of shock and disbelief on Cashe's face. Then, a lightbulb went off in his head. "He's locked in the bathroom!"

"Whaaaat?!" She didn't sound like she approved of her cat's jail sentence.

"No, no, listen.. You hide in the kitchen. I'll let him out and you can SEE!" Nodding as he laid out the plan. "You can see that he is the spawn of satan!" He couldn't make up his mind. Was the cat an alien or a demon/spawn of satan? Not giving her time to argue, Cashe hurries to the bathroom door. Josslynn moves towards the kitchen but isn't hiding whatsoever. Just slightly out of sight from the bathroom. "Just humor me.. Ready?" It was more hypothetical than him really asking, maybe more for himself even. He had to be ready for another fight. "Ohhh Winston!"

He opens the door, swings it open as he scurries back. At first you can't see the cat but then from within the bathtub, the cat's eyes and head rise from behind the wall. A low purring meow begins to form as Winston leaps over onto the floor and begins shimmering towards Cashe in full hunter mode. Taking off into a sprint, Winston might as well have had red glowing eyes, he stared with murderous intent.. Until he seen Josslynn.

"Meeeeeooooow!"

Like a switch was flipped, this punk ass cat went from Cujo kitty to prancing and lovable as he trotted over to his Hooman Mother and leaped into her arms, rubbing against her immediately. "That's some boooshit right there!" Cashe proclaimed.

"Was he being mean to my baby?" Josslynn was pampering the cat. Cashe just shook his head. "You want some catnip? Come on, let's get you fixed up.."

"I think he was possessed that night we used the Ouija board.."

"Don't listen to that mean ol' Jason! My baby isn't possessed huh?" She scratches against the top of his head as she puts him on the ground.

Turning towards Cashe, Winston looks up at him. They stare each other down as Josslynn grabs the bottle of liquid catnip. "Come at me bruh.."

Winston approaches. Cashe tenses up as the hairless, demon from outerspace (unconfirmed) cat begins rubbing and purring against Cashe's legs.

"Awwww! See?" Josslynn is all smiles. "He loves you too!"

"Well.. I love his Hooman Momma and I'd much rather pet her cat but I guess we all have some baggage.."

Josslynn threw the bottle of catnip at Cashe as they both snickered at his perverted but also romantical comments.