Post by Max f'n Daemon on Aug 14, 2022 12:34:03 GMT -5
Max Daemon is seen sitting in a lawn chair. There is a bottle of beer in his hand.
To his right, Kitsumi is seen sitting idly on a nearby tree. She is, thankfully, not wearing her skirt, opting instead for a pair of tight blue jeans. Her legs swing merrily from her perch.
Roddy Zalez is below the tree, leaning against it with his hands in his black dress pants.
In between them and by himself, Doc Knockem digs the grave.
“Let’s talk about Azurine Vebbins.”
Max takes a drink from his bottle.
“Do we have to?” Roddy asks.
“Yes, Roddy, we do. Ya’ see…Azurine is an interestin choice for a first opponent. 'First' considerin that this is my 'first' official match on CruiserClash.
Why am I on CruiserClash? The brand I have openly hated in the past?
Well, if ya’ve been payin attention ya’d know that my goal is AW’s finality…and what better way ta’ end ‘em than by startin with their precious cruiserweights?
Not that I’d ever consider Azzy a ‘precious’ anythin, but hey, I’m not here ta' judge who this brand considers great, especially given Karlie and Nikki are the number one contenders for anythin.
But despite this bein my first official CruiserClash match, this isn’t my first battle with Azzy.”
With a smirk on his face, he takes another sip of the beer. With his other hand, he pulls out the Tokyo Cup trophy from behind his lawn chair.
“Tokyo Fite. I didn’t have the pleasure of pinnin Azzy personally, but I did have the pleasure of beatin her and her entire brand like a buncha nobodies.
Because, as fate would have it, they are a buncha nobodies.
And right there along with Karlie and Nikki as the top of the nobodies sits Azurine Vebbins.”
Max checks his cellphone for a few moments before returning it to the pocket of his black skinny jeans.
“It is currently August 14th at the time I am speakin ta' you.
And tomorrow, it will be August 15th.
Now, I know Azzy likes ta’ talk about days, but here’s the thing.
Tomorrow isn’t just Mother’s Day in Costa Rica. It isn’t just Father’s Day in Samoa. And it’s certainly not just Discovery Day for those Canadians.
Nah…August 15th is National Mournin Day in Bangladesh.
And Azzy will be mournin…but not for Bangladesh and their losses, oh no…
Azzy will be mournin for the sudden and unfortunate death of whatever pitiful career she has left.
Most people would be proud of what they’ve done. Most people would embrace their achievements and accomplishments and accept their career’s highs and use 'em goin forward.
But Azzy?
Nah…Azzy just cares about what day it is and what kooky, special holidays any specific day holds.
It’s fuckin pathetic.
She’s so delusional ta' her own failure that she hides behind this gimmick of knowin what special holiday it is.
And the worst part is she doesn’t even use it ta’ win.
She’s so blinded in her innocence of any situation that she doesn’t fully understand that this match she was booked in? This match against me? It isn’t a ‘welcome to CruiserClash Max’ match. It isn’t a ‘let’s give Azurine an opportunity’ match. It definitely isn’t a ‘Azurine’s gonna wipe the floor with Max’ match.
It’s a ‘let’s give Max someone expendable’ match. And holy shit, did they find someone expendable.”
Max shakes his head, getting up out of the lawn chair. He finishes the beer bottle, tossing it precariously to his right and allowing it to smash on a nearby headstone.
“I’ve fought some of the best AW has ever seen, and none of them have been on CruiserClash. I’m not here ta' make friends or win titles. I’m on CruiserClash ta’ tear it ta’ the fuckin ground.
And if I’m gonna use this first headstone for someone on CruiserClash, I’m sure as shit not gonna waste it on someone like Azzy.
Yo Doc! Let’s bounce. Leave the hole open.”
With a groan, Doc throws the shovel out of the grave. The Dirge make their exit, leaving the headstone unmarked and the empty grave still 6 feet deep.
To his right, Kitsumi is seen sitting idly on a nearby tree. She is, thankfully, not wearing her skirt, opting instead for a pair of tight blue jeans. Her legs swing merrily from her perch.
Roddy Zalez is below the tree, leaning against it with his hands in his black dress pants.
In between them and by himself, Doc Knockem digs the grave.
“Let’s talk about Azurine Vebbins.”
Max takes a drink from his bottle.
“Do we have to?” Roddy asks.
“Yes, Roddy, we do. Ya’ see…Azurine is an interestin choice for a first opponent. 'First' considerin that this is my 'first' official match on CruiserClash.
Why am I on CruiserClash? The brand I have openly hated in the past?
Well, if ya’ve been payin attention ya’d know that my goal is AW’s finality…and what better way ta’ end ‘em than by startin with their precious cruiserweights?
Not that I’d ever consider Azzy a ‘precious’ anythin, but hey, I’m not here ta' judge who this brand considers great, especially given Karlie and Nikki are the number one contenders for anythin.
But despite this bein my first official CruiserClash match, this isn’t my first battle with Azzy.”
With a smirk on his face, he takes another sip of the beer. With his other hand, he pulls out the Tokyo Cup trophy from behind his lawn chair.
“Tokyo Fite. I didn’t have the pleasure of pinnin Azzy personally, but I did have the pleasure of beatin her and her entire brand like a buncha nobodies.
Because, as fate would have it, they are a buncha nobodies.
And right there along with Karlie and Nikki as the top of the nobodies sits Azurine Vebbins.”
Max checks his cellphone for a few moments before returning it to the pocket of his black skinny jeans.
“It is currently August 14th at the time I am speakin ta' you.
And tomorrow, it will be August 15th.
Now, I know Azzy likes ta’ talk about days, but here’s the thing.
Tomorrow isn’t just Mother’s Day in Costa Rica. It isn’t just Father’s Day in Samoa. And it’s certainly not just Discovery Day for those Canadians.
Nah…August 15th is National Mournin Day in Bangladesh.
And Azzy will be mournin…but not for Bangladesh and their losses, oh no…
Azzy will be mournin for the sudden and unfortunate death of whatever pitiful career she has left.
Most people would be proud of what they’ve done. Most people would embrace their achievements and accomplishments and accept their career’s highs and use 'em goin forward.
But Azzy?
Nah…Azzy just cares about what day it is and what kooky, special holidays any specific day holds.
It’s fuckin pathetic.
She’s so delusional ta' her own failure that she hides behind this gimmick of knowin what special holiday it is.
And the worst part is she doesn’t even use it ta’ win.
She’s so blinded in her innocence of any situation that she doesn’t fully understand that this match she was booked in? This match against me? It isn’t a ‘welcome to CruiserClash Max’ match. It isn’t a ‘let’s give Azurine an opportunity’ match. It definitely isn’t a ‘Azurine’s gonna wipe the floor with Max’ match.
It’s a ‘let’s give Max someone expendable’ match. And holy shit, did they find someone expendable.”
Max shakes his head, getting up out of the lawn chair. He finishes the beer bottle, tossing it precariously to his right and allowing it to smash on a nearby headstone.
“I’ve fought some of the best AW has ever seen, and none of them have been on CruiserClash. I’m not here ta' make friends or win titles. I’m on CruiserClash ta’ tear it ta’ the fuckin ground.
And if I’m gonna use this first headstone for someone on CruiserClash, I’m sure as shit not gonna waste it on someone like Azzy.
Yo Doc! Let’s bounce. Leave the hole open.”
With a groan, Doc throws the shovel out of the grave. The Dirge make their exit, leaving the headstone unmarked and the empty grave still 6 feet deep.
