Post by Sam Kidsgrove on Mar 27, 2022 7:49:17 GMT -5
“It’s absolute fucking bullshit” Kidsgrove fumes to his good friends Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. They are currently in a downtown LA bar, drinking beers and chewing the fat.
“To make it all worse, I, well, I didn’t take the news well and now Zooey is staying at her sister’s for a bit. How the fuck did it get this messy man? We used to be on the same page with everything.”
“She’s turned you into a pussy.” Matt says, without looking up from his phone. “That’s what it is, you were a vicious animal that couldn’t die and now, well, you’re normal or whatever. It’s weird.”
Kidsgrove looks at Matt. “Matt, do us a favour.”
“Yeah?” Matt still isn’t looking up.
“Go fuck yourself.”
Before Matt can respond, Ben interjects. “Dumbass, get your nose out of your phone and go to the bar before Sam punches you in the face.”
Matt finally looks up, assesses the situation and realises that’s exactly what he should do.
“Fuck’s his problem?” Kidsgrove asks.
“He’s right, you have been soft over the past year. You’re toughening up but Zooey doesn’t like it. Eventually you’re gonna have to figure it out because if we have to choose between you and Zooey? Well it’s gonna be difficult.”
“We’ve been friends ever since I moved to the US! I introduced you to your wife!”
“That does make it more difficult. Anyway, what’s going on man? My agent calls me up out of the blue and he’s yelling at me, telling me that I should cool you down right now, because some studio exec is having kittens you’re gonna start something with Angelo”
“He’s already started it, fucking dick doesn’t even know what he’s unleashed. I’m on course to win a pretty damn important match and that prick comes out of nowhere, costs me the match and then takes out me and Tatiana with his two chuckle headed goons.”
“I thought you were in a triple threat last week? Where was Cassidy in this?”
“Who gives a fuck about that prick? He can just fuck off, I’m done with him. Why management keeps pairing me with him I don’t know. We got yet another tag match with him as my partner, another fucking day where I have to watch my opponents and my partner. Can you believe that? At least this time Tatiana and I can watch each other’s backs. So I suppose that’s a bit better. She’s got some issues with Grindhouse, I’ve got issues with Angelo, so together we’ll just take these boys out.
Angelo by the way is the worst kinda dickhead. He’s so resentful that he’s in my shadow, he's actively trying to sabotage my career now. Before it was cute that he was doing everything in exactly the same way as I was. I thought it was a nice little tribute act, y’know a homage to everything Sam Kidsgrove has done in his career. He came here and beat one of the biggest names in the industry early on and then he won the US title early on from one of the greatest US champions in history. He's made a name for himself as a hot headed arrogant piece of shit that can’t be beat. Sound familiar?
It's great, wonderful, amazing. Such a uniquely trodden path.” Kidsgrove says with sarcasm dripping from his mouth. “What next? He’s going to form a trio like the Hollywood Elite and…. Oh yeah, that's exactly what he’s gone and done now he’s aligned himself with grindhouse.
Problem is, everyone knows that shitty off brand remakes are generally trash. Look at the Atlantic and Pacific Rim flicks. One was a great popcorn flick of action and the other is a B movie rip off made purely to cash in on the other’s success.
That’s exactly what Angelo is, just a guy trying to cash in on the path I trod by doing the exact same shit but with far less budget. He may as well wear a paper mask of my face, hell I’ll give him one. He’ll probably need it after I cave it in. Then maybe he can do something different, retire, go buy a shit football team in England, have fun.
Then you got Grindhouse. A pair of thugs that have done the worst thing you could ever do to someone.” He looks at Ben with a cold, hard stare. Ben averts his eyes, he knows what’s coming.
“They betrayed a friend. Something you should never do. Ever.”
Ben clenches his jaw as he remembers the very public time when he and Matt did just that.
“So Tatiana deserves retribution. She deserves to take those pieces of shit and put her boot on them. She deserves that closure because Tatiana is a good person who deserves nice things. She’s not someone who trades in friendship for fleeting glory. After all, Grindhouse peaked when they were co tag team champions because the real champs didn’t have competition. Grindhouse are attaching themselves to Angelo because they think he can elevate them. They think he can turn them into superstars with a household name and yadda yadda.
Problem is, everyone will just look at this trio, shrug and think “well, they’re not the Hollywood Elite. Who gives a shit?”
In order to be elevated you need the guy who’s doing the elevation to be worth something. Now I don’t know about you but to me legends show they can do it over years, not weeks. You aren’t going to be elevated by a flash in the pan tribute act.
You know what the hilarious thing is though? He couldn’t beat me when I was on the verge of retiring and he was this hotshot young fucktard with a point to prove. Now I do have a point to prove and he started a war. You don’t need me to remind you what happens when you start a war with me. So tell your agent to fuck off.”
“To make it all worse, I, well, I didn’t take the news well and now Zooey is staying at her sister’s for a bit. How the fuck did it get this messy man? We used to be on the same page with everything.”
“She’s turned you into a pussy.” Matt says, without looking up from his phone. “That’s what it is, you were a vicious animal that couldn’t die and now, well, you’re normal or whatever. It’s weird.”
Kidsgrove looks at Matt. “Matt, do us a favour.”
“Yeah?” Matt still isn’t looking up.
“Go fuck yourself.”
Before Matt can respond, Ben interjects. “Dumbass, get your nose out of your phone and go to the bar before Sam punches you in the face.”
Matt finally looks up, assesses the situation and realises that’s exactly what he should do.
“Fuck’s his problem?” Kidsgrove asks.
“He’s right, you have been soft over the past year. You’re toughening up but Zooey doesn’t like it. Eventually you’re gonna have to figure it out because if we have to choose between you and Zooey? Well it’s gonna be difficult.”
“We’ve been friends ever since I moved to the US! I introduced you to your wife!”
“That does make it more difficult. Anyway, what’s going on man? My agent calls me up out of the blue and he’s yelling at me, telling me that I should cool you down right now, because some studio exec is having kittens you’re gonna start something with Angelo”
“He’s already started it, fucking dick doesn’t even know what he’s unleashed. I’m on course to win a pretty damn important match and that prick comes out of nowhere, costs me the match and then takes out me and Tatiana with his two chuckle headed goons.”
“I thought you were in a triple threat last week? Where was Cassidy in this?”
“Who gives a fuck about that prick? He can just fuck off, I’m done with him. Why management keeps pairing me with him I don’t know. We got yet another tag match with him as my partner, another fucking day where I have to watch my opponents and my partner. Can you believe that? At least this time Tatiana and I can watch each other’s backs. So I suppose that’s a bit better. She’s got some issues with Grindhouse, I’ve got issues with Angelo, so together we’ll just take these boys out.
Angelo by the way is the worst kinda dickhead. He’s so resentful that he’s in my shadow, he's actively trying to sabotage my career now. Before it was cute that he was doing everything in exactly the same way as I was. I thought it was a nice little tribute act, y’know a homage to everything Sam Kidsgrove has done in his career. He came here and beat one of the biggest names in the industry early on and then he won the US title early on from one of the greatest US champions in history. He's made a name for himself as a hot headed arrogant piece of shit that can’t be beat. Sound familiar?
It's great, wonderful, amazing. Such a uniquely trodden path.” Kidsgrove says with sarcasm dripping from his mouth. “What next? He’s going to form a trio like the Hollywood Elite and…. Oh yeah, that's exactly what he’s gone and done now he’s aligned himself with grindhouse.
Problem is, everyone knows that shitty off brand remakes are generally trash. Look at the Atlantic and Pacific Rim flicks. One was a great popcorn flick of action and the other is a B movie rip off made purely to cash in on the other’s success.
That’s exactly what Angelo is, just a guy trying to cash in on the path I trod by doing the exact same shit but with far less budget. He may as well wear a paper mask of my face, hell I’ll give him one. He’ll probably need it after I cave it in. Then maybe he can do something different, retire, go buy a shit football team in England, have fun.
Then you got Grindhouse. A pair of thugs that have done the worst thing you could ever do to someone.” He looks at Ben with a cold, hard stare. Ben averts his eyes, he knows what’s coming.
“They betrayed a friend. Something you should never do. Ever.”
Ben clenches his jaw as he remembers the very public time when he and Matt did just that.
“So Tatiana deserves retribution. She deserves to take those pieces of shit and put her boot on them. She deserves that closure because Tatiana is a good person who deserves nice things. She’s not someone who trades in friendship for fleeting glory. After all, Grindhouse peaked when they were co tag team champions because the real champs didn’t have competition. Grindhouse are attaching themselves to Angelo because they think he can elevate them. They think he can turn them into superstars with a household name and yadda yadda.
Problem is, everyone will just look at this trio, shrug and think “well, they’re not the Hollywood Elite. Who gives a shit?”
In order to be elevated you need the guy who’s doing the elevation to be worth something. Now I don’t know about you but to me legends show they can do it over years, not weeks. You aren’t going to be elevated by a flash in the pan tribute act.
You know what the hilarious thing is though? He couldn’t beat me when I was on the verge of retiring and he was this hotshot young fucktard with a point to prove. Now I do have a point to prove and he started a war. You don’t need me to remind you what happens when you start a war with me. So tell your agent to fuck off.”