Post by Addy A on Mar 27, 2022 4:45:41 GMT -5
“Listen up you fucking knuckleheaded Canadian cunts, Monday Night is the night you come face to face with the top two bitches in Action Wrestling. Your pitiful fucking dalliances in CruiserClash against pissweak cunts like Teo Blaze and his dumb mutt, Andre Jenson will come to mean nothing the moment you step into the ring with Addy A and Lissie Hope; The Swallowing. That is meant with all the disrespect in this fucking world when I am speaking to you red and white fucksticks. See, Lissie and Me, we represent the best of the best in the industry, you are a group of inbred fucktards that means less than the maple syrup dripping off a rent boy's flaccid cock as he turns to earn his meth money in the back alleys of Toronto.” “Insipid, lacking rigidity, utterly pointless when it comes to getting laid. You talk loud and run around the back flapping your arms like peacocks protecting a nest, but when it comes down to it, The Heritage stands up for as much as a limp dick.” “Like I fucking said - flaccid.” “That’s the simple way of tackling matters when it gets down to dealing with you isn’t it boys? Small dick jokes, and rip shit on Canada. Hell, I’m not above low grade insults. Never fucking have been - becuase sometimes, hell most of the time - kicking cunts in the balls is hell of a lot of fun. But when it comes to you clowns, I’m guessing I’m more likely to find a wet cunt in the Vatican than your nuts on the end of my boot. Why would I say that? I ain’t ever seen you nut up and front up when it comes time to put up. Couldn’t do it on fucking CruiserClash, couldn’t do it when facing down Odin Balfore - a man more likely to jerk off to the desiccated corpse of his father than more with energy and vigour in a wrestling ring these days. And you worthless little fucking ankles - thats right three foot lower - couldn’t even make the old man break a sweat. Shit that’s weak.” “As weak as the competition you’ve come to face when defending those Canadian Tag Team Titles - and no, fuckwits, that’s not a subtle way to get you to put them on the line. While Lissie and Me, will win the Action Wrestling World Tag Team Titles again - we don’t need the belts to know we are the fucking best in the world. That’s a given. You need those gold belts to feel like you’re something special. Newsflash, dirtbags you’re nothing - fuck you’re less than nothing - you’re Canadian. Unwanted by the French and unwashed by the British. It’s pitiful fucking existence. But I dig that you're proud of your Heritage. I wouldn’t be, but dumb cunts like you are probably happy when you can tie your shoelaces without falling over and breaking your noses.” “Dickheads.” “But don’t worry pissants, when it comes to Monday Night Clash, you won’t need to worry about united shoe laces to break your fucking noses. Nah, I’m gonna do it for free and for fun. Probably looking at breaking a lot more than your noses, but hey we all gotta start somewhere right? See, cocksmokers, most people would see you are the easy marks that your fucking are and just pass you by as quick as they fucking can. Not Me. Not Lissie. We are using you two dumb cunts to send a message to the rest of the division that we once conquered and will conquer again. We are putting the weak down - six feet down in the ground. And weak is certainly what you two worthless, pathetic insipid cunts from north of Minnesota certainly qualify as. At some point, I should probably urge you to rise up to the challenge - but I’ve established that you lack the ability to rise up - even when you are showering together. It’s why it’s pointless for either of you to drop the soap.There is know advantage to be gained. But if I happen to see you standing in the steam I would slice your throat ear to ear like the Colombians and watch your limp body collapse on the pristine white tiles - giggling as the blood drains from your bodies circling the drain into oblivion. Unfortunately, I won’t have that opportunity this week, but just because I can’t see you bleed out doesn’t mean I can’t make you bleed on that canvas. First chance I get, I’m going to peel the flesh from the bone. Sounds grotesque, doesn’t it? It’s not really, what will be grotesque is the way your fucking scream when I snap your tibia with the heel of my boot. Or the way you moan when I drive my finger in your eye socket until I’m wearing your retina like an engagement ring.” “Oh. You’ll squeal.” “Like a fucking pig.” “And at the end of the day when it comes times for Lissie and Me to look out into the crowd and put you out of your fucking misery you are going to sizzle like fucking bacon. When it comes to dealing with The Swallowing there is no frying pan because we are always putting you in the fire. We are that fucking hot. Nothing you can do about Heritage, except roll around in the mud like a weaning piglet begging for mother as I take everything your hold precious and use that Canadian flag to sop up every last drop my fucking period blood before I shove down your throats and choke every last fucking breath from your common driveling fucking bodies.” “That’s all there is to it. If you don’t like that. Well, find a good quality ceiling beam, tie the rope around your neck and let your feet dangle while I beat you like fucking pinata.” “Oh.” “Fuck Canada.” |