Post by Jessie Lee on Feb 20, 2022 8:37:46 GMT -5
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH boy, Action Wrestlin', it looks like this girl has got herself a bit of a problem."
"Shockin', right?"
"Well, as every good ol' Action fan is aware, it's time for the crazy clusterffuck of a thing called the Battlebowl! Teams are tossed together at random an' then thrown together for some controlled chaos that is the tag team scene until there are only a few teams left standin'. Then, at the end of it all, there is a big ol' Revo One mess of a battle royal that'll supposedly determine who gets to enter last in the upcomin' Havoc Rumble."
"Pretty big opportunity, ain't it?"
"The thing is, an' this is the REAL kicker in all this, is that you can't exactly trust your own partner durin' this thing. Like, yeah, it's a massive chance to boost your stock in this business but there are always those that aren't lookin' at the bigger picture. Now I ain't gonna stand here an' say I don't trust Serenity Holmes as far as I can throw her; cause let's be honest, I could toss that bish pretty far; because that'd be dopey an' cliche as fuck. Just that it isn't beyond reason to pursue the guaranteed thing over the unknown."
"SO there ya go Action Wrestlin', the official response from the Women's champ to Holmes half-assed goof of a challenge is......"
"I accept!"
"Duh."
"Right, now that that's finally taken care of let's get back to the Battlebowl, yeah?"
"So with the Women's Champ an' her future opponent on one side of the ring, we got an Action Wrestlin' Icon an' some poor generic schlub on the other. Like, at least Claire Hawkins can be impressive but just you in the literal fuck in Jonny Cedrone? Well, even if ya don't wanna know I'm going to tell ya anyway!"
"See, Jon-boy is some overly generic quote-unquote GOOD GUY with 'bout as much personality as vanilla ice cream; maybe even less if I'm honest. I mean, yeah he has that butler fella that obviously acts the moron to bolster Jon-Jon's ego an' that wife of his that.......that..........what's she supposed to be again? That outdated idea of arm candy? Eh, fuckin' worthless either way; but yeah; the guy less personality than anyone I've ever faced, an' I've faced a number in Revo One, an' it's gettin' to the point where I throw up a little bit in my mouth every time I hear one of his painfully dull an' paint-by-the-numbers promos."
"Like fuck!"
"Y'all remember that verbal suck-off that happened between Zolton an' himself? Like, I get bein' respectful, an' I do respect the man's work in that ring, but THAT thing had gotten to the point where they might have well stripped an' gone at it like a pair of horny fuckin' teens cause holy shit was that was disgustin' with all the "I respect you soo much, but I'mma beat ya." "No you!" cutesy ass horseshit that hardcore title match gave off. Also, so fuckin' glad Blake retained durin' that match cause I don't even wanna think 'bout it would've looked like if that ramblin' hermit lookin' fuck in Zolton or his snore-fest of a groupie somehow had gotten hold of that Hardcore strap. Like fuck."
"Also, he was just glad to keep Zo-zo from winnin? What kind of a spineless jerkoff do ya have to be in order to be PROUD of that. The dude is supposed to be some ol' in-ring vet an' THAT'S what he's happy with? Call me a big dumb bitch all ya want, but if ya ain't tryin' to win; if ya ain't tryin' to accomplish something REAL; then what's the God damn point?"
"Like what in the literal fuck?"
"..........."
"Well shit. Looks like I ate up all the time rantin' 'bout captain CeDull that I ran outta time for the REAL threat; Claire Hawkins. Though, I'm pretty sure my partner will have it covered. Team building, ya know? So all I got left to really say is that there ain't no stoppin' the Aussie Assault an' the twenty-second Century Girl! We might be enemies down the line, but this Monday Night we ain't taken shit from anyone! We're steppin' into that ring an' we ARE gonna be droppin' bodies like there ain't any tomorrow an' you all already know that I ain't got ANY problem droppin' bishes on their heads with the single Leethatlist move today; The LEEthatlity!"
"Now let's fuckin' go, yeah?
"Shockin', right?"
"Well, as every good ol' Action fan is aware, it's time for the crazy clusterffuck of a thing called the Battlebowl! Teams are tossed together at random an' then thrown together for some controlled chaos that is the tag team scene until there are only a few teams left standin'. Then, at the end of it all, there is a big ol' Revo One mess of a battle royal that'll supposedly determine who gets to enter last in the upcomin' Havoc Rumble."
"Pretty big opportunity, ain't it?"
"The thing is, an' this is the REAL kicker in all this, is that you can't exactly trust your own partner durin' this thing. Like, yeah, it's a massive chance to boost your stock in this business but there are always those that aren't lookin' at the bigger picture. Now I ain't gonna stand here an' say I don't trust Serenity Holmes as far as I can throw her; cause let's be honest, I could toss that bish pretty far; because that'd be dopey an' cliche as fuck. Just that it isn't beyond reason to pursue the guaranteed thing over the unknown."
"SO there ya go Action Wrestlin', the official response from the Women's champ to Holmes half-assed goof of a challenge is......"
"I accept!"
"Duh."
"Right, now that that's finally taken care of let's get back to the Battlebowl, yeah?"
"So with the Women's Champ an' her future opponent on one side of the ring, we got an Action Wrestlin' Icon an' some poor generic schlub on the other. Like, at least Claire Hawkins can be impressive but just you in the literal fuck in Jonny Cedrone? Well, even if ya don't wanna know I'm going to tell ya anyway!"
"See, Jon-boy is some overly generic quote-unquote GOOD GUY with 'bout as much personality as vanilla ice cream; maybe even less if I'm honest. I mean, yeah he has that butler fella that obviously acts the moron to bolster Jon-Jon's ego an' that wife of his that.......that..........what's she supposed to be again? That outdated idea of arm candy? Eh, fuckin' worthless either way; but yeah; the guy less personality than anyone I've ever faced, an' I've faced a number in Revo One, an' it's gettin' to the point where I throw up a little bit in my mouth every time I hear one of his painfully dull an' paint-by-the-numbers promos."
"Like fuck!"
"Y'all remember that verbal suck-off that happened between Zolton an' himself? Like, I get bein' respectful, an' I do respect the man's work in that ring, but THAT thing had gotten to the point where they might have well stripped an' gone at it like a pair of horny fuckin' teens cause holy shit was that was disgustin' with all the "I respect you soo much, but I'mma beat ya." "No you!" cutesy ass horseshit that hardcore title match gave off. Also, so fuckin' glad Blake retained durin' that match cause I don't even wanna think 'bout it would've looked like if that ramblin' hermit lookin' fuck in Zolton or his snore-fest of a groupie somehow had gotten hold of that Hardcore strap. Like fuck."
"Also, he was just glad to keep Zo-zo from winnin? What kind of a spineless jerkoff do ya have to be in order to be PROUD of that. The dude is supposed to be some ol' in-ring vet an' THAT'S what he's happy with? Call me a big dumb bitch all ya want, but if ya ain't tryin' to win; if ya ain't tryin' to accomplish something REAL; then what's the God damn point?"
"Like what in the literal fuck?"
"..........."
"Well shit. Looks like I ate up all the time rantin' 'bout captain CeDull that I ran outta time for the REAL threat; Claire Hawkins. Though, I'm pretty sure my partner will have it covered. Team building, ya know? So all I got left to really say is that there ain't no stoppin' the Aussie Assault an' the twenty-second Century Girl! We might be enemies down the line, but this Monday Night we ain't taken shit from anyone! We're steppin' into that ring an' we ARE gonna be droppin' bodies like there ain't any tomorrow an' you all already know that I ain't got ANY problem droppin' bishes on their heads with the single Leethatlist move today; The LEEthatlity!"
"Now let's fuckin' go, yeah?
