Post by Jessie Lee on Feb 5, 2022 20:55:41 GMT -5
"It's pretty mind bogglin', ya know?"
"Even a week out from takin' an' deliverin' one of the greatest fights for REAL championship gold, my mind is still so fuckin' blown that I am the one that's standin' here with Action Wrestling's first OFFICAL WOmen's Championship strap; an' I gotta say it looks pretty damn good! Like shit, I love the big ol' fuckin' bird they went with. Feels very American, doesn't it?"
"'xcept none of ya are watchin' to witness me nerdin' out over a badass lookin' strap that broke Krissie Halestorm's neck to claim, right? Nah. You glorious bishes wanna know what's goin' through my mind with what was announced followin' the absolute fuckin' war that happened to be Revolution Five; ya wanna know 'bout the match ol' Bungaboo."
"Loser leaves Cruiserclash."
"Honestly?"
"You SHOULD already know what I'm thinkin' when it comes to this kinda silly ass thing an' ya should know why. Every time I manage to do somethin' meanin'ful or somethin' that the bigwigs weren't expectin' I end up in some goofy fuckin' match as if they were tryin' to punish me for bein' me; THE baddest bish that the people fuckin' love to see. Like shit, the first I had after winnin' Revo One's Horrorcore strap for the first time was a bloody fuckin' EIGHT man elimination first blood match! If THAT was convoluted enough for ya, two of those fuckers hadn't even signed with the fuckin' place yet. Hell, I've even been put through nightmarishly gnarly glass table matches, electrified cages, an' even the almighty an' spooky Cage of Death that brainless ankle-biter Amber Payne was claimin' to be her fuckin' match."
"Hol' the fuck up."
"Ya ain't related to that silly cunt are ya, Jimmy? Cause I'd at least like a few weeks of enjoyin' this new Championship strap before havin' to completely wipin' the entirety of your family from existence. I know this is an industry where so-called last names don't really mean anythin' sometimes, see all the guys with the last name Black for instance, but I'm just sayin' that this little match would be endin' a whole helluva lot worse for ya than bein' carried out on a stretcher after I finish up bustin' every vertebra in your spine with the LEEthalest move in the fuckin' game today."
"The Leethality."
"Trust me when I say this, cause those culty fucks the Left Hand, there isn't a fuckin' thing the rest of your mates in The Heritage are gonna be able to do 'bout it. I'm slappin' ya to the floor like the forgettable bitch you are an' I sendin' ya packin' to whatever piss poor company ends up hirin' your sorry ass. Unless ya end up just jumpin' to Monday Night CLash, then I'm pretty sure ya end up with bigger problems. But no yea; there ain't a fuckin' thing your boys COusin Harper or Luka Parsons are gonna be able to do. Cause if they show up to that fuckin' ring when I'm beatin' your worthless ass from pillar to post in that Fiserv Forum place that they got there in Milwaukee, Wisconsin."
"Ya know what?"
"Fuck that!"
"Bring your boys down to the ring with ya, Jimbo. Bring 'em with ya so I can show the entire fuckin' world what it looks like when the Women's Champ beats down three bitch ass pussyfooted fuck knuckles that are so fuckin' inept in this business that they can't even have a partly decent Cruiserweight Tag title run despite LITERALLY luckin' right the fuck into it! I'mma be crackin' your jaws by droppin' the BOOM! as if there were no tomorrow an' when I'm done redoin' your dental work I'm goin' to break your God Damn necks by droppin’ ya on your heads with the brutalist Leethalities anyone has ever seen! Then, as a formality, I'mma pile you fat fucks up into a neat fuckin' pile to send ya packin' like the bunch of losers ya fuckin' are."
"There ain't no fuckin' room for dead weight on Cruiserclash, boys, not as longs as Jessie Lee is the Action Wrestling WOmen's Champion."
"So say your final farewells an' let's fuckin' GO!"
