Post by Spayde Martinez on Jan 30, 2022 14:58:39 GMT -5
Kill Mart? FUCKING KILL MART? I grace this goddamn company with my presence again, and they force this trash game of fucking Mad Libs on to me? This is fucking horseshit. The more I have to team with this fucking idiot Kilbride, the closer and closer he gets to being broken in fucking half. I’m done with the games of Action Wrestling. I’m done with the laughs and ha-has and the fun.
You know what’s fun to me?! Violence. Injuring people. For what I hear, our little opponent Aphriya Adler is a fan of hurting people, too. She likes the fight life like I do, too. What are you doing, Aphriya? I left for a few months, and you saw a gap to fill? Fine. I get it. What I do is special, unique, IN DEMAND. You just get wrecked by someone like me! An originator. An innovator. Because you’re just applying moves you learned, but I’m inventing things.
I entered an octagon to hone myself and left for the wrestling ring to go to higher heights than an octagon would ever allow. I am here to show the world the power of Spayde Martinez. You are just a fun little obstacle. You’ve been breaking arms or legs or necks or what the fuck ever on a roster of children, but I am standing before you as your first REAL challenge, the first fucking MONSTER you’ve ever squared off with, the LAST monster you’ll ever square off with.
Afterall, I’m the unbreakable, unkillable, untamable. No matter what the card says, I’m the baddest bitch in this company, and my return is THE reason Regan Voorhees ran to hide on the “main roster” show. Sooner than later, I’ll give you the same treatment, Aphriya. You’ll run. You’ll claim it’s to greener pastures. You’ll avoid me forever. Meanwhile, I’ll remain. I’ll still be the toughest motherfucker in the world. And I’ll be the woman who helped pole vault the spineless little barbies who kicked their shitty little fraudulent careers off on CruiseClash up into their big cushy spots on Clash. I don’t give a fuck if the world sees those moves and lauds you for pushing yourself to bigger and better things, you and I will ALWAYS know you’re not climbing the ladder, you’re making a fucking hasty retreat.
And don’t go thinking I forgot about you, Vebbins. Oh, no. I don’t like to forget about the people who clearly have so much fucking brain damage that they pose a danger to themselves, and let’s not go kidding ourselves, you’re one or two more hits to the head from texting the boys in the back that the dogs are in the pool area. So no, I don’t like to leave you out of sight, but it’s for your own good. The last fucking thing we need is to have to do a rushed, forced little memorial show for someone like you. There are only so many fans that would be willing to watch that shit without Twitter being forced to let the word “who” trend internationally.
There are a whole host of folks who are also rams, Vebbins, but you? You’re here thinking you’re FloJo, but you’re running like Stephen Hawking after the fucking ALS. It’s just a huge fucking joke, Vebbins. How the fuck does someone like you… some mushmouthed little prison colony resident…
A voice off screen interrupts. Spayde listens and reacts like she just heard something absurd.
…that cunt isn’t from Australia? So she just sounds like that for literally no reason? HOLY SHIT! IT’S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! New plan, Vebbins… Move to Sydney, you’ll blend in like a local and no one will be any wiser given that drunk and stupid is a pretty common combo down there and approximately 100 percent of the locals are at least one of the two. Hell, maybe you can become president and your secret service guys can keep you from hurting yourself…
But if you show up, I’ll give Alphria the Regan special and send her to Clash out of respect for her MMA game, but you? I am going to put you down, Vebbins.
Fade to black.
You know what’s fun to me?! Violence. Injuring people. For what I hear, our little opponent Aphriya Adler is a fan of hurting people, too. She likes the fight life like I do, too. What are you doing, Aphriya? I left for a few months, and you saw a gap to fill? Fine. I get it. What I do is special, unique, IN DEMAND. You just get wrecked by someone like me! An originator. An innovator. Because you’re just applying moves you learned, but I’m inventing things.
I entered an octagon to hone myself and left for the wrestling ring to go to higher heights than an octagon would ever allow. I am here to show the world the power of Spayde Martinez. You are just a fun little obstacle. You’ve been breaking arms or legs or necks or what the fuck ever on a roster of children, but I am standing before you as your first REAL challenge, the first fucking MONSTER you’ve ever squared off with, the LAST monster you’ll ever square off with.
Afterall, I’m the unbreakable, unkillable, untamable. No matter what the card says, I’m the baddest bitch in this company, and my return is THE reason Regan Voorhees ran to hide on the “main roster” show. Sooner than later, I’ll give you the same treatment, Aphriya. You’ll run. You’ll claim it’s to greener pastures. You’ll avoid me forever. Meanwhile, I’ll remain. I’ll still be the toughest motherfucker in the world. And I’ll be the woman who helped pole vault the spineless little barbies who kicked their shitty little fraudulent careers off on CruiseClash up into their big cushy spots on Clash. I don’t give a fuck if the world sees those moves and lauds you for pushing yourself to bigger and better things, you and I will ALWAYS know you’re not climbing the ladder, you’re making a fucking hasty retreat.
And don’t go thinking I forgot about you, Vebbins. Oh, no. I don’t like to forget about the people who clearly have so much fucking brain damage that they pose a danger to themselves, and let’s not go kidding ourselves, you’re one or two more hits to the head from texting the boys in the back that the dogs are in the pool area. So no, I don’t like to leave you out of sight, but it’s for your own good. The last fucking thing we need is to have to do a rushed, forced little memorial show for someone like you. There are only so many fans that would be willing to watch that shit without Twitter being forced to let the word “who” trend internationally.
There are a whole host of folks who are also rams, Vebbins, but you? You’re here thinking you’re FloJo, but you’re running like Stephen Hawking after the fucking ALS. It’s just a huge fucking joke, Vebbins. How the fuck does someone like you… some mushmouthed little prison colony resident…
A voice off screen interrupts. Spayde listens and reacts like she just heard something absurd.
…that cunt isn’t from Australia? So she just sounds like that for literally no reason? HOLY SHIT! IT’S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! New plan, Vebbins… Move to Sydney, you’ll blend in like a local and no one will be any wiser given that drunk and stupid is a pretty common combo down there and approximately 100 percent of the locals are at least one of the two. Hell, maybe you can become president and your secret service guys can keep you from hurting yourself…
But if you show up, I’ll give Alphria the Regan special and send her to Clash out of respect for her MMA game, but you? I am going to put you down, Vebbins.
Fade to black.
