Post by Jessie Lee on Jan 23, 2022 12:19:31 GMT -5
"OOOI!"
"Hol' up an' let me get this fuckin' straight, yeah?"
"This week, on the go-home show live from Boston Massachusetts, I'mma be teamin' with my own opponent for Revolution Five an' her merry band of fuckin' thirst trapped Twitter fans to tackle the challenge that is takin' down three fuckin' legit killers an' their fuckin' mangy mutt of a stray that looks like he woke up with a case of the brown bottle flu an' a fuckin' championship 'round his waist? Ya want me to believe that CruiserClash' esteemed an' massively stunted General Manager in Joey Bungaboo didn't book this match knowin' full well how much of a one-sided fuckfest it'd be to the eyes of all the cynical fuckin' cunts lookin' at it with a fresh set of eyes? I mean, ya got three fuckin' former Cruiserweight strap champions an' mean ol' KillGrady lookin' to tear apart some ol' leathery horse-faced bish, her two hooker wannabe cunts, an' myself; sounds like a mighty fine walk in the fuckin' park for 'em, doesn't it?"
"See, a cynical person might take a listen to what I just said an' go full-on keyboard fuckin' warrior an' hit subreddits with complaints 'bout how Bungaloo's bookin' is such one-sided horseshit that he might as well be whippin' out his little limp dick to piss all over the potential that the careers of Krystal, Azzy, Aphriya, an' myself; showin' his dominance by actin' like a puffed-up shitzu moments 'fore it gets punted across the length of a fuckin' football field."
"That's what a cynical cock-eyed fuccboi mark would do."
"Except I ain't a sad hopeless fuckin' dag lookin' through things with such a sad bias."
"Naaaaah, bish, where others see negativity I find that there isn't anythin' other than positivity an' this main event ain't any different. Cause I ain't unaccustomed to puttin' the worthless on my back carryin' 'em to fuckin' glory an' greatness; not that my girls are like the fuckin' scabs whinin' in Revo One, these feisty fireballs have heart an' some REAL fuckin' determination. The Aussie Assault is rollin' into that TD Garden an' you can damn sure fuckin' bet that even the bloodthirsty fucks lickin' their chops across the ring on Monday know they're in for a God damn fight!"
"Dominate champions of legendary proportions?"
"FUckin' bring it; bring it an' find out just how fast I strip 'em of their bullshit when I sit them on their delusional fuckin' ass."
"Heroic men an' women that have struggled valiantly to overcome whatever heart-wrenching obstacles put before them?"
"I don't fuckin' give a shit, I'll still put ya on your ass it ain't anythin' put pure fuckin' violence that pumps through these veins!"
"'Sides, it isn't like anyone else gives a fuck 'bout somebody else's sorry sob horrorshow of a fuckin' life unless they're watchin' it on Netflix or Hulu......or whatever the fuck Paramount plus has for shit like that; cheap corporate plug here, duh! But yeah; this might all seem like some big ramblin' nonsense that's gotten so far off fuckin' topic that it might be mistaken for one of those fuckin' food atrocity commercials the ol' Gents kept puttin' out for a hot minute, but y'all need a reminder that I ain't here to fuck spiders an' act like a piece of piss ass lass that's wearin' a smile an' just happy bein' here. No. Jessie Lee is here to fuckin' fight an' to entertain the barbarically bloodthirsty fans by crackin' jaws an' tearin' limbs."
"Which is what I'm gonna fuckin' do!"
"I'mma tear Teo's blazin' knee right outta its socket beat him across his smarmy fuckin' face an' proceed to give Addy the grandest fuckin' pumpin' she's ever squirted to by shovin' that same fuckin' leg so far up her ass she'll be burpin' leather. Then I'm goin' to physically use Killy-murt to beat each other when I use Grady as a fuckin' club to beat some damn sense into his bitch-faced partner with the weak-ass Sesame street grouch sandy vagina demeanor. I'm goin' to beat 'em an' I'm going to make DAMN we come out on fuckin' top!"
"Then it's off to Revolution Five!"
"Fuck yeah!"
"Hol' up an' let me get this fuckin' straight, yeah?"
"This week, on the go-home show live from Boston Massachusetts, I'mma be teamin' with my own opponent for Revolution Five an' her merry band of fuckin' thirst trapped Twitter fans to tackle the challenge that is takin' down three fuckin' legit killers an' their fuckin' mangy mutt of a stray that looks like he woke up with a case of the brown bottle flu an' a fuckin' championship 'round his waist? Ya want me to believe that CruiserClash' esteemed an' massively stunted General Manager in Joey Bungaboo didn't book this match knowin' full well how much of a one-sided fuckfest it'd be to the eyes of all the cynical fuckin' cunts lookin' at it with a fresh set of eyes? I mean, ya got three fuckin' former Cruiserweight strap champions an' mean ol' KillGrady lookin' to tear apart some ol' leathery horse-faced bish, her two hooker wannabe cunts, an' myself; sounds like a mighty fine walk in the fuckin' park for 'em, doesn't it?"
"See, a cynical person might take a listen to what I just said an' go full-on keyboard fuckin' warrior an' hit subreddits with complaints 'bout how Bungaloo's bookin' is such one-sided horseshit that he might as well be whippin' out his little limp dick to piss all over the potential that the careers of Krystal, Azzy, Aphriya, an' myself; showin' his dominance by actin' like a puffed-up shitzu moments 'fore it gets punted across the length of a fuckin' football field."
"That's what a cynical cock-eyed fuccboi mark would do."
"Except I ain't a sad hopeless fuckin' dag lookin' through things with such a sad bias."
"Naaaaah, bish, where others see negativity I find that there isn't anythin' other than positivity an' this main event ain't any different. Cause I ain't unaccustomed to puttin' the worthless on my back carryin' 'em to fuckin' glory an' greatness; not that my girls are like the fuckin' scabs whinin' in Revo One, these feisty fireballs have heart an' some REAL fuckin' determination. The Aussie Assault is rollin' into that TD Garden an' you can damn sure fuckin' bet that even the bloodthirsty fucks lickin' their chops across the ring on Monday know they're in for a God damn fight!"
"Dominate champions of legendary proportions?"
"FUckin' bring it; bring it an' find out just how fast I strip 'em of their bullshit when I sit them on their delusional fuckin' ass."
"Heroic men an' women that have struggled valiantly to overcome whatever heart-wrenching obstacles put before them?"
"I don't fuckin' give a shit, I'll still put ya on your ass it ain't anythin' put pure fuckin' violence that pumps through these veins!"
"'Sides, it isn't like anyone else gives a fuck 'bout somebody else's sorry sob horrorshow of a fuckin' life unless they're watchin' it on Netflix or Hulu......or whatever the fuck Paramount plus has for shit like that; cheap corporate plug here, duh! But yeah; this might all seem like some big ramblin' nonsense that's gotten so far off fuckin' topic that it might be mistaken for one of those fuckin' food atrocity commercials the ol' Gents kept puttin' out for a hot minute, but y'all need a reminder that I ain't here to fuck spiders an' act like a piece of piss ass lass that's wearin' a smile an' just happy bein' here. No. Jessie Lee is here to fuckin' fight an' to entertain the barbarically bloodthirsty fans by crackin' jaws an' tearin' limbs."
"Which is what I'm gonna fuckin' do!"
"I'mma tear Teo's blazin' knee right outta its socket beat him across his smarmy fuckin' face an' proceed to give Addy the grandest fuckin' pumpin' she's ever squirted to by shovin' that same fuckin' leg so far up her ass she'll be burpin' leather. Then I'm goin' to physically use Killy-murt to beat each other when I use Grady as a fuckin' club to beat some damn sense into his bitch-faced partner with the weak-ass Sesame street grouch sandy vagina demeanor. I'm goin' to beat 'em an' I'm going to make DAMN we come out on fuckin' top!"
"Then it's off to Revolution Five!"
"Fuck yeah!"
