Post by Alice Gemini on Jan 8, 2022 19:59:51 GMT -5
I fucking hate living.
But damn do I love being alive.
I was never really given a chance from birth because I was born to a family that hated each other. I wasn't supposed to happen, my mother fucked some guy she met at a Jewel, went to his car and whoops, here I am. I'm not sure if father ever found out cause he was pretty convinced I was his, until I came out as gay then all of a sudden I could never be his. He technically wasn't WRONG but still, what a dickhead.
Funny thing though, I had a sister named Camilla who was also a product of cheating. She was from my dad cheating with one of his coworkers at a fucking Quaker Oats factory. Right there on one of them conveyer belts after hours, dirty bastard.
My sister killed herself at 12 years old though… My dad used to hit her and she would get picked on for her bruises at school and one day she came home and popped a bunch of pills My dad had in our bathroom. I'm the one who found her. All that foam coming out of her mouth, bloodshot eyes, pale skin. Fucked me up man.
It was dad's fault of course but he never would admit it, he would blame me or my mom. He would get so mad about it sometimes he would pin me to the wall by my neck and just… scream. My mom had it worse though, she'd get wooden chairs thrown at her, slashed with kitchen knives, and just simply beat.
By the way, they're both dead. My dad killed my mom after I got in trouble at school for fighting someone. Someone said something about the goofy girl in one of my classes I thought was funny so I kicked her ass. School called home after that and well… my father blamed my mom and beat her a little too hard. Blaming her for me being gay, being violent, and being a quiet weirdo. Again, his fault.
Cops came to get him and before they had the chance, he put a 12 gauge shotgun in his mouth and blew his head off.
What a childhood huh?
Despite all that, I still wanted to go to school. I went to the Chicago high school of the Arts, I loved painting and music so it was perfect! Except for when I was bullied for… like everything. My music teacher, Mr. Lectur was the most important part of my high school life because he helped train my singing voice, learn to play guitar, and gave me a safe place when I needed an escape. Turned out he was a serial killer though. I think he just liked me cause I was a freak like him. He got taken away of course so I lost that safe place. I had already just been living in and out of halfway houses, so at that point I kinda just felt hopeless. I did discover a cool underground adult club called The Devils Hook that I found a way to sneak in and out of. I hung out there a very large majority of my time, I even invited my homie Cherry there a few times to show her!
Got caught one day though, one of the servers asked me my age and I didn't come prepared with a fake ID that night and they took me to the owners office to wait for the police. Vincent Bateman. That was his name.
He asked me a bunch of questions with that "I'm your buddy" voice and I mostly ignored him at first. I fucked up and gave him an answer to "Where do you live" and I said "Fucking nowhere" like a dumb ass. Surprisingly he actually started to relate to me. I started sharing more and more with him and he was just a cool guy. He eventually offered to let me live in the club in his extra office that doesn't see any use. I accepted that offer so fucking fast cause this club was so… divine to me. It felt like a sanctuary that was specifically created for me.
Cherry and I practiced music there when it was closed during the day, always the highlight of my week. Life was starting to look up for me, for once I didn't want my life to end just like the rest of my family. Started up a band with Cherry even, SFG. Once we hit 18 we started playing at Devils Hook and other small venues around Chicago. I felt like that wasn't good enough though, we needed some more exposure, more clout if you will. So I suggested the craziest fucking shit I could to Cherry.
Wrestling.
What if we fucking joined God damn wrestling? I always tried to catch it when I could cause I loved watching big meaty men slap meat. Not really, but it was just entertaining to see some soap opera with fighting in it.
Well, here we fucking are, Action Wrestling. I don't know if she even knows what's happening half the time but I know I'm ready to have a bunch of fat losers online jerk off to pictures of "the hot emo wrestling chick". Believe me when I say this, I'm gonna be the best fuking hot emo wrestling Chick there has ever fucking been.
Life kinda fucks sometimes huh?
