Post by The Frumious Benderstretch on Dec 31, 2021 9:17:02 GMT -5
Promo #3: Resolved
Just Luis Carrillo in his dark suit in a dark room under a single spotlight:
“Clash kicks off 2022 with a match designated as a New Year Five Way. It’ll be my client against the debuting Shooter Landell and Ruka Yamashita along with Jayson Price and Sam Kidsgrove.”
“Or, to rephrase, Frumious faces two wrestlers who aren’t really there, a wrestler who doesn’t want to be there, and a wrestler who is only ‘there’ because he has nowhere else to go.”
“I’ll separate the chaff from the wheat straight away. Jayson Price was a Hall of Famer in WCF. In Action he’s been nothing but an embarrassment. Signed to a big contract due to past performance in Torture and Gravedigger’s old promotion, he’s happily made them pay for it two fold by putting forward next to zero effort. Taking their money seems victory enough for him, which is a shame, because my client would relish the opportunity to test himself against Price in his prime. Instead expect to see nothing from the South Street Nightmare. Price gave up on himself a long time ago. His buddy Mason Jones finally has too. When is AW Management going to do the same and cut their losses?”
“I’m lumping Yamashita in with Jayson Price, which may seem unfair. While there’s ample proof that Price isn’t even bothering to go through the motions, from the self styled ‘Queen of Insanity’ we’ve gotten nothing either way. That absence of agency is in itself an indictment. To come into a high profile company like AW and not even attempt to stand out, to make some kind of statement, is the mark of someone who isn’t taking their job seriously or is ignorant of the challenges ahead of them. It’s why I’m comfortable writing ‘non-factor’ on Ruka’s blank slate, and declaring her ‘Unchained Psycho’ nickname total bull. Yamashita is bound by a leash forged of her own indifference, and we’ll see her choke on it come Clash.”
“I have more expectations for Mike Landell. Sure, he’s like Price in that he’s only here for the money, and like Ruka he hasn’t been vocal. That tracks though, given what we do know about him. Landell doesn’t want to wrestle; he has to. Circumstances have forced him back into a profession he’d left behind, so not spending any more time dwelling on his situation than he has to makes sense. Shooter’s a bitter brute who’s come back into the sport in hopes it’ll provide him with the means to find his personal refuge from the world.”
“That’s a hell of a goal, and it makes him dangerous, but is he a match for my client? A man just as powerful and skilled as he is? A man who fights because he loves it, because it lets him help others, and because he knows he has what it takes to carry the weight of this company on his shoulders?”
“No.”
“The Frumious Benderstretch has been where Mike Landell aspires to be. Tugley Wood is far from civilization. It’s an entire world away from professional wrestling, and the seclusion gnawed at him. Every moment of his exile was torment. Now that he has returned he will do whatever it takes to remain, and to thrive.”
“That’s a motivation that makes Frumious more dangerous than two hundred and sixty pounds of cuckolded carny who didn’t have the foresight to learn a trade; and it is what will see him through to the end of their fight, where his hand will be raised in victory. More than anyone else, Big Frum has the power, drive, and skill to win this scrum.”
“Even more than the man whom the match was booked for because he has nowhere else to go.”
“Make no mistake: this is Sam Kidsgrove’s fight to lose. He’s the one with the Hall of Fame pedigree, and whose name has brand recognition outside of a few WCF die-hards who remember Jayson Price when he still had some pride. They titled it The New Year Five Way but if there was any truth in advertising Action would call it what it is: Sam Kidsgrove’s Consolation Clusterfuck.”
“2021 was not good for Kids. Couldn’t get the TV Title off of Daniel Fiehl at Execution. Got eliminated early in the OG Bishop Battlebowl. Kept out of the Elimination Chamber by a suplexing novelty act. Tried making the Golden Globes relevant by defending his award against the Action Wrestling mid card as a way to build interest for the US Championship Match at Evolution, only to see the Office bring in a ringer in Graham Baker. The only belt he did wear was for the Tag Division and that was gifted to him by the man he hates more than anyone living, Dandy Divito. That uneasy alliance lasted through exactly one defense, and his chance to reclaim the title with Fortitude got scotched when Kat Hastings left the fed for personal reasons.”
“Now, though, it’s a new year, and for those who believe numbers on a calendar matter, that means a fresh start. Monday will be the season premiere of Clash and Sam is being positioned for a run. I’m sure that’s what Pasternak and company are thinking. How perfect would it be for Kidsgrove to reestablish himself, work his way through the ranks, and eventually face either Divito or Fiehl, both of whom he has history with, for the World Title they themselves are fighting over January 3rd?”
“It would be like something out of a movie.”
“Unfortunately for Sam Kidsgrove, he’s fighting someone who’s looking for his own fairytale ending. Frumious Benderstretch sees this match the same way Sam should; as an opportunity to rise his way up the card and become World Champion. His road will be much longer and harder to travel, but no matter how good in-ring Kidsgrove has been in the past; Big Frum is better prepared for the journey.”
“And that’s because of perception.”
“I’m not talking about image, now. Neither my client nor I are one of those who believe Sam Kidsgrove is a shallow, virtue-signalling, faux philanthropist more interested in good press than good works. I know he’s helped many people, and if he wants to sing his own praises more power to him. In a business where everyone is trying to tear you down physically and verbally, self-assertion is a prerequisite.”
“No, Sam’s perception problem is his inability to comprehend his surroundings as they truly are. He constantly creates a narrative that flies in the face of reality, and frequently miscasts his fellow wrestlers in roles that they do not fit at all. I’d like to blame this on his showbiz background- what actor doesn’t also dream of directing?- but the truth is Sam Kidsgrove is an incurious person. And it’s this intellectual laziness that constantly makes him underestimate his opponents and trips him up whenever he’s in the ring with someone who knows their shit.”
“Need proof? Hear from the man himself:”
Problem for Downfall though is the simple fact that in order to be the best, in order to prove yourself as the greatest talent in the world you gotta be at least the best man in your tag team. Unfortunately for him, he’s the runner up in that metric.
If Frank and Baker get to the final, what’ll happen? These two are just gonna get in the ring and jerk each other off before one of them rolls over for the other I’d imagine. Baker would probably roll over so Frank could win, it seems to be their dynamic.
the key to beating Ash Blake once and for all isn’t beating her at Clash, it isn’t beating her for the title at Glory, or in a Chamber, or at any of the smaller Pay Per Views. No, the best time to deal with Ash Blake once and for all is to beat her at Evolution. Let her build up her barriers, let philidor become this unstoppable monster and then cut off the head at the biggest, most opportune time.
“Does this sound like a wrestler who knows his enemy?”
“No. It’s one who repeatedly displays an ignorance of his opponents that translates to arrogance and ultimately defeat. The same thing will happen Monday. I don’t doubt for a second Sam Kidsgrove will downplay my client. He’ll make some kind of comment where he dismisses Frum because he lost to Cassidy Adler, opining he couldn’t even beat the wrestler ranked 99th in the company, as if those numbers matter in the slightest.”
“Contrast that with Frumious Benderstretch, who, despite his rough bearing, is keenly aware of who he faces each and every time, and how to beat them.”
“And unlike his four opponents, he's fine with exactly where he is-the bottom- while having somewhere else to be-”
“Up.”
“And that’s where he’s going.”
“As many matches as it takes: using as many bodies he needs to pile.”
