What's this, a singles star caught off his guard?

Hey folks, narrator here! Back once again with a Two Gents special. Well actually it’s just the one Gent this time because this is a singles opportunity! Yes my fine friends, Andre Jenson is actually getting a chance to have a singles match! Albeit in CruiserHavoc, but it still counts, right?



The man is preparing for this golden opportunity for glory with a good ol’ fashioned session of Final Fantasy 14. He's a Scholar. He’s on Discord. Nothing can go really wrong, surely?



“Andre!” Shouts the tank, who just so happens to be Amy, his long time friend. “You gonna heal me or what?”



“Sorry J’Tala B’Pala! I was distracted, I thought you already had excog on you and I just realised that you haven’t had a shield for a couple of minutes now!”



“Get your head in the game son!” Says Tali Esquire, a lalafel Ninja. “You’ve been out of it all day, what’s up?”



“Just work things.” Replies Andre. “You know how it is.”



“Yeah, what’s up? Secretary doing a bad job or something?” Asks Tali. Amy, on Discord snorts.



I need to be clear right now that only Amy knows Andre’s true identity in Final Fantasy 14. I also need to be clear that as far as the rest of his free company goes, he’s just the boss of a fortune 500 company, which he is, but you know, that’s just ceremonial at this point. So they are not expecting the following reply.



“You ever get one of those days where you are called in and told that you’re gonna be put outside a casino and you’re gonna have to do hand to hand combat with a bunch of other people for a shot at what you should never have lost in the first place? And then told if you do even better you can actually get the title everyone has dreamed of as a small child?”



“What, like CEO or Chairman?”



“Somethin’ like that. You see I have that opportunity to do something that many think is out of my comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong, I love being part of the most successful team in history. My partner and I, we’re pretty much unstoppable. We fashioned a division in our image and sat, untouched at the top of that place for so long that we have our own personal benches there.



So opportunity 1 is to retake our place on the bench. Some absolute vagabonds took it recently in a most vexing, undeserved way, this is the first chance we have to get it back and, well my partner and I are very good at taking our opportunities.



But then we have the second opportunity. You see, I am considered by the higher ups in my company a specialist in teamwork. I’m not relied upon to do anything solo, I’m merely there to build my division with my partner. It’s clear that the boss thinks he’s the man and, well, he’d be right. After all my partner has done it all in a solo setting, he’s been to the top, beaten anyone worth the name and came within a kitten’s hairbob of being named the Employee of the year. So I take my job as his partner seriously and will help that man for the rest of my life.



However, this is my opportunity to remind those that think I am nothing more than a second man in a double act that I am just as competitive as my partner. After all I have had a successful solo career elsewhere, hell I even beat my partner a number of times to get a title. It’s how we’re friends in the first place.



So yeah, I am distracted because of work. I am distracted by the excitement I can feel when I go out there in front of thousands of people in- I think a car park - in the middle of December, wearing hardly any clothes and proving that I am worthy.. I’m coming out of there with my friend as a double champion. We’re gonna win the tag belts back and then I’m going to shock the world and win The World Cruiserweight Championship.”