Post by The Frumious Benderstretch on Dec 10, 2021 22:25:47 GMT -5
Promo #2 "Burn the Leech!"
“Yew a parasite, Cassuhdee Adluh.”
“A tik. A leetch. A taipwerm.”
“A drane of whutevah host yew latch awntoo.”
“Yew no dis. Yew brag abowt it; try ta dress it up by calling yerself a ‘clowt sharc’ but yew no sharc.”
“Sharcs are predaduhs, an yer to week fer dat.”
“Dat dun meen yew ain’t a thret. Parasites are a thret. Dey tuffer den dey look. Dey hard to kill. And if you dun treet dem proppuh dey will hert de boddy de enfest.”
“Dat describe yew purfekt.”
“Yew dun look like a siriess wrassler. An dat not onnaccount of yer lak of mussell or de fakt yer purty in de faise. Dere plenntie of gud wrasslers here in Ackshun dat dun fit de mold. Dat Raygun Vorheez got all de way to de Termoyl Finalz an she cud pass as de gurl yew poze attop a weddin caik.”
“Dat boi yew want so bad to be yer nemississ, Jonnie Backhuss, he a formuh Hardkore Champ, but got skin sawfter and pailer den spun kotten.”
“Naw when Ah say yew dun look like a siriess wrassler Ahm tawkin abowt in de ring. Yew spaztik. Anybuddy wit anny amownt uf skill kin embearrass yew between dem roaps, but somehow yew still find a whey ta beet dem.”
“Yew are a survivah.”
“Too top ten finishez at de last Havok Rumbles proov dat. A tag titul rain wit yer moar attletik sistuh Oliveeah Adluh do too. An bein Ex Champyun show yew dun need her to karry yew aginst competishun dat, on furst look, shud deestroy yew.”
“So, yeah, Ah ain’t like sum of de udders yew fite. Wrasslers who dismiss yew fer sooperfishul reesuns. Ah gonna do whut yew warn everywun to do-”
“Taik yew siriess.”
“Witch is whut yew want Ah no, jest like whut yew want is to git under yer ohpohnents skins, to maik dere blud rush so yew kin bedder feed like de parasite yew are.”
“Ah gunna giv yew eksactly whut yew tink yew want, Cassuhdee Addluh, but it wunt doo yew a bitta gud, becuz cum Clash Ah will still put yew ‘cross mah showlduhs an maik yew tap owt.”
“Dis match a big deel fer us both. Ah no dis. Yew loozun at Termoyl to Afifiria Addluh, dat dun reelee hurt yer standin here in Ackshun. Dat match faut under strikt Em Em May roolz, an as Ah saye beefoar yew reelee not a trained fiter. Yew kin brush dat loss off an klame it a blessin becuz it free yew up to be on de big show an let yew go aftuh de big belt yew feel yew owed: de Ackshun Wrasslin Werld Titul.”
“Dat how yew tink. Yew gunna say de Ex Belt wuz a millstoan around yer neck, dat Tortchur put yew in dat divishun to prop it up, an now yew dun yer job it time fer yew to rise.”
“And dat why, Cassuhdee Addluh, til yew git yer mind korrekt, yew will never be a predaduh, and will alwayz be a parasite.”
“Beecuz reel predaduhs, dey taik every fite siriess. Dem top wrasslers yew laff at fer caring to mutch, dey alwayz gunna outklass yew. It why Graham Bakeuh damm neer killt yew when yew faut. It de reel reesun Jonny Backhus and Addulayde Ainswerth were able to beet yew an Lizzie Hoap even wen dat boi’s hart wuddunt in hurtin ‘Lizbuth.”
“It why Ah gunna beet yew at Clash.”
“Ah am a predaduh. One dat is huntin’ fer de same exact gaim yer afta: de Werld Champyunship.”
“And boi: with whut Ah gon thru to git here, Ah am starvin.”
“Ah am every bit as gud as de names Ah sade pryor, de wuns dat did or cud humbell yew. Put me in de ring wit any ov dem and Ah win. Ah got de power and de will and de cunnin to be de top naim in Ackshun Wrasslin, and at best yew kin klame wun outta three.”
“Yew craftee like a fox, yeah. But yew lak de skill and de convicshun to git yew to de peek of de mountane.”
“De fakt yew see any loss as inconsequenshul proof of dat.”
“Hopefellee yer not lookin at owur match like dis. Fer yer saik an mine. If Ah wanna mov up and git de competishun Ah seek, Ah gunna hafta beet a Cassadee Addluh who gives sumpthin of a ssheeit. An if yew dun wanna end up in trackshun like yew were afta Graham Bakeuh mawl yew, yew best taik me as siriess as Ah’m taiking yew.”
“Be as hungree as me.”
“As angree as me.”
“Becuz, Cassadee Addluh, jest like Ah giv yew whut yew aks fer when Ah taik yew siriess, Ah gunna giv yew sumpthin else yew think yew want: a confesshun.”
“Yew under mah skin.”
“Parasites are usahs. Dey taik a hellthee host an bleed it dry. Dey only caire about dere appatites.”
“An’ yew bin feedin on Ackshun Wrasslin fer to long.”
“Offa yer sistuh Oliveeah Addluh, wen outta jellussee, yew end her kareer as well as de Twin Gawds at de All-In Match.”
“Offa Lizzie Hoap. Yew bring a wommun who addickted to all but gud sense inta yer orbit, wate fer de evenshual drama, and reep de rewards of dem computah cliks dat mattuh to yew.”
“An yew feed offa de sport dat mattuh to me. Yer probblee gigglin wen yew heer dat. In yer primmativ parasitik brain yew tinkin- “Ah gottim! Whatta mark. Now Ah feest.”
“Yeah, Cassadee Addluh, yew got me.”
“Problum is, yew ain’t got whut it taiks to deel wit me.”
“While Ah no exactlee how to deel wit yew.”
“Same way Ah deel wit any parasite: remoov de head, and destroy whut left.”
“Dat yer futcher: a Vorpal Boot, a Jabbahwracked, an a tap-tap-tap.”
“Becuz fer tru, Cassadee Addluh, cum Clash yew see it de predaduh dat alwayz eet furst."