Post by Sam Kidsgrove on Nov 6, 2021 19:58:41 GMT -5
“From a child, Sam Kidsgrove has been in the limelight - starring in one of the most popular shows on TV from the age of 7, he’s never been out of the spotlight. With dozens of blockbuster hits behind him, a career as a Member of Parliament in the UK and a professional wrestler. He’s a man who has so many talents and has reinvented himself often, so why does he have imposter syndrome and doubts his every move?” Announces the 60 minutes host Lesley Stahl. “Tonight, we’re going to get a unique insight into the mind of a man who has had great success while battling demons in his mind and find out just how he does it and what it takes for him to believe in himself. This is 60 minutes.”
The ticking clock graphic is shown on the screen of the TV in the lounge of Sam and Zooey’s mansion in LA. Zooey and Katherine Hastings are watching the interview, sharing a bottle of red and a nice big box of leftover halloween chocolates.
“Such a shame there were so few trick or treaters this year” says Zooey, while she pops a pumpkin shaped chocolate in her mouth.
“Well, it worked out well for us!” Replies Kat while she drinks some wine. “I was not aware Sam had issues.”
“We all do some way or another. He’s good at hiding it though, he has this bravado and swagger about him and acts like nothing gets to him, but yeah he sometimes has these bouts of self doubt and some sort of impostor syndrome.”
“Really?” Kat seems shocked by this. “I’d never have guessed.”
“Really. He’s not afraid of it and doesn’t try to hide it - in fact this is the reason why he agreed to do the 60 minutes interview. He wants to get the word out there that mental health is important.”
“Wow. That’s gutsy”
“Yeah, I’m proud of him. It must be so hard to get up in front of the world and talk about your mental health to everyone. It’s partly the reason we’ve been away from Action for a while, he had a lot of self doubt after the success of Die Hard. It’s weird how success works sometimes.”
“How come?”
“Simple really, he didn’t think he deserved that much praise and for the film to be such a success. He was prepared for it to go and be an average movie. So when it ended up being the biggest blockbuster since the original Avengers film it caught him by surprise. He’s had to just chill for a few weeks and remember that he’s actually really, really good. When he believes in himself, he’s the best in any business.”
“Do you think he’s ready to come back and beat Downfall? He’s on a roll.”
“Sam just needs to believe in himself hun. If he does, then he can beat Downfall, hell he can go and win the whole tournament. If he doesn’t believe in himself? Well I have twice as much belief in him than he even knows. We’ll be OK. How about you anyway?”
“I wish I was in the tournament. Other than that, things couldn’t be better!”
“And the romance front?”
Before Kat could answer, the adverts end and the interview returns, Kat half grins and takes a sip of her wine while they both focus back up on the interview.
“So Sam, you’ve always talked about getting into the character and making sure that with every acting project you have you know intimately how the character you play will act in every situation. Do you go down the method route, I know you’re friends with Ben Affleck and he’s known for this. What’s your process?” Lesley Stahl asks.
Sam grins, nodding along at the question and thinks for a moment before he answers.
“It depends on the role, sometimes it’s worth getting into character way before the shoot as you can be so far out of your comfort zone, or the guy is absolutely nothing like you that you have to live that life to be able to understand how to act in a situation y’know?”
“Did you have to do any of that for the role of John McClane?”
“No, not really. At the end of the day, John McClane is a character that’s basically like all of us. He’s the guy who finds himself in a tough situation and he has to make a decision whether to sink or swim. He’s the underdog, facing off against overwhelming odds to just do what he has to do to protect his family. He’s like all of us really, most of us are underdogs in this world. We either have no money, illnesses, a system that is designed to keep you down or just were not born into the right family. So it was easy to find the character as it is literally acting like myself.”
“An underdog? You have been successful in everything you’ve ever put your talents at. Member of Parliament, box office successes since you were 7, multiple time United States and Tag team champion. You are overwhelmingly rich and are one of the highest paid actors in America, with a partner who is one of the highest paid actresses. How do you come to the conclusion you’re an underdog?”
“Simple really, I’m a fraud.”
“A fraud? How?”
“Because my brain tells me I am. You see, I can be a multiple time champion, fine. I can break all the box office records in the world. Fine. But you know what I can’t do? I can’t accept it sometimes. Sometimes my brain just says “Nope, Sam what are you doing? How the hell are you in this position? How did you deserve this? You don’t.” This is how imposter syndrome works, it’s how depression spirals start and it’s how concussions can affect you.
I have been in the top echelons of every industry I’ve taken a crack at. I’ve main evented at Action, I’m a Hollywood superstar. I’ve been an MP. Great achievements for sure but sometimes I think about it and it seems like somebody else had those achievements, not me. This is why I talk about being the underdog and not really having to work to find the character of John McClane. John McClane is a metaphor for all of us that have to struggle to get ahead. Whether it’s with ourselves, whether it’s with a boss that holds you down or a system that wants to destroy you, whether it’s being in a financial trap and the state of the world meaning you can’t get out of the cycle of poverty. We’re all underdogs in our own way. This is why I think Die Hard took off so well - because we tapped into that, showed the people that even against the overwhelming odds you can still fight back and win. It’s an important character.”
“So if you’re the underdog and mental health issues are the reason, doesn’t that put you in danger?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like if I was going into a fight, not that I would, I mean I can’t fight to save my life, but if I was then I wouldn’t want my potential enemies to know I’m second guessing myself and that I see myself as the underdog, right?”
“Yeah, that makes sense. But consider this. A fighter is best when they know what they are, when their mind is in unification with their body, when they know what they can and can’t do at any given moment. Let me give you an example right, so you know Katherine Hastings, yes?”
“Yeah, she’s a very talented and engaging woman.”
“Indeed, she’s like a part of our family now. But anyway, Katherine knows what she’s about. You wouldn’t catch her going into that ring and trying to do something she’s uncomfortable with. She has a gameplan, she’ll execute that gameplan and she’ll pull out all the moves in her arsenal to win. Sure she’ll improvise every now and then or gamble, but it’ll always be in a measured, calculated way. What she won’t do is try something she’ll never be able to pull off.”
“OK”
“So it’s all about understanding who you are and accepting it.”
“How will that help you beat Downfall though?”
“So Downfall and I have a certain history, right? He’s always been the plucky underdog, the man with a point to prove and the one who has the hunger to fight and destroy me because he wants my place on the ladder. That’s fair, this industry is basically all about that, you want the top jobs and the top slots you have to beat the top guys. It’s the nature of it all right?
So you got Downfall roughly a year ago, give or take, this journeyman talent who wants to make a name for himself putting a massive target on my back and taking me out at trios. So he does, then I beat him, teach him a lesson and put him at the back of my mind right?
He goes away and discovers himself, figures out what he wants to do with his career, gets a bit ol’ hitch on the coat-tails of Dion and next thing you know he’s on a roll. Downfall and Dion end up being these unstoppable monsters, they beat Dandy and I in the middle of the ring and Dion goes from strength to strength. They even went and destroyed Philidor, Dion getting the pin and looking impressive. He’s on top of his game right now because his mind and his body are in tune again. The two of them are a well oiled machine and they look out for one another.”
“Right… Ok?”
“So the roles are flipped, Downfall is now the overwhelming favourite, he has what he wanted. He has my spot. I’m the underdog and I know I have to put out the effort of a lifetime to beat him because he’s on a roll. He’s going to have all the momentum and he’s going to want that to continue. I know that because I have been there, felt that and know exactly what he’s thinking in this situation.”
“Which is?”
“He’s thinking he’s unbeatable right now. He’s riding the wave and he’s feeling pretty good about himself. You can tell by the way that he actually seems to enjoy himself nowadays, I swear when I was watching the match against Philidor I saw him crack a smile. I’ve never seen him smile before, he’s always been so broody and intense.
This means 2 things for me.” Sam starts counting on his hand his points as he talks about the change in Downfall, he has a steely glint in his eye and a quiet determination about him. If the man feels like he has imposter syndrome right now he’s doing a great job of hiding it.
“1: It means he’s vulnerable. Part of what makes Daniel Fehl Downfall is his intensity. It’s his general distrust of people and his surly nature. He’s a scrapper, a fighter who is always the plucky underdog who has to give it his all to hide his limited talent. If he’s happy, he’s vulnerable. If he’s content, he doesn’t have that edge, he’s running off momentum alone and you can’t do that long term, you have to fuel the fire sometimes and you can’t do that if you are fundamentally changing who you are. Fehl is not a fundamentally happy man, so he’s out of his comfort zone. Being out of your comfort zone is deathly as a fighter because you will always second guess yourself and think that something is up.
In accepting who I am, the underdog who has to fight through physical and mental illnesses just to keep my head above water, I am much more in tune with my body. Which means I am going to fight, fight and fight some more until I win, because giving up is never an option.
2: Like John McClane I will crawl over broken glass and fight with everything I have. Like Hans, he will see me as nothing but an annoyance, something easily dealt with, not a poison pill, or a fly in the ointment. The more momentum you have, the more times you beat a guy and think you have his number, the more chance you have of being surprised.
You see he now has the target on his back, he’s now the man in my spot. He isn’t used to being there, he’s used to being the hunter, the hungry wolf who snaps at the neck of his prey. He’s used to wanting the victory so badly because it’s taking the next step that’s just that bit out of reach and doing everything he can to get there.
But what next? After a victory against Philidor where does he go? Has he ever asked himself what happens when he reaches his plateau? He already thinks he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to wrestling. But has he asked himself what happens when he can go no further or does his arrogance block that thought? Does he fight as viciously to stay where he is? Of course not. That’s not what humans do, we’re not programmed that way. Once you reach a place where you’re comfortable and happy, then you’re going to try that little less because you want to preserve what you have. You’re going to get that half a percent more complacent each and every time you go out there and win. Why? Because you’re comfortable where you are, that’s why. Nothing can touch you, you’ve got no ambitions ahead of you so why not slip down a gear for a while? It happened to me, I can tell you absolutely right now that the exact thing happened to me, multiple times. I achieved my goal of becoming the US champion again. I get complacent and my brain just decides that this is it, this is how far we go, no need to try much more than this. Then the imposter syndrome and all the negative stuff slowly creeps in.
So yeah, knowing who I am and what my issues are will help defeat Downfall because I know what he’s thinking, I know myself now more than I have ever known in the past. I have a beautiful woman at my back who believes in me way more than I’ll ever believe in myself and that’s priceless. I cannot quantify how much Zooey’s belief means to me, when I’m at my lowest, she’s there. She’s my biggest fan, my biggest cheerleader and one day I hope she’s my wife.
Honestly can the same be said of Fehl? Yeah he’s got his bro Dion, they seem tight. I’m tight with Ben and Matt but it’s not the same as the love you get from a partner who truly gets you to your essence. Knowing that you would die for one another and would protect each other through everything out there, sharing your lives together for eternity is a much more deep rooted bond than having your best buds watch your back.
Having unconditional love and support when you are down and out is the best way of getting back to your feet. Fehl has a woman in his life mind you, they have a lot of history as well, they seem to get along at times, at others they don’t. I never got the impression from the two of them though that she would sacrifice everything if the chips were down and he needed support. I never got the impression he would fight through hell and back just to see her smile again. Sure they like one another, they might consider themselves soul mates or whatever, but I gotta be honest, he’s more likely to help Dion than her right now. Why? Because Dion is the guy most likely to help him to the promised land, Dion is the only guy who affirms that Downfall is the best wrestler in the world. Dion helps him think he’s great, Dion wins him titles.
Problem for Downfall though is the simple fact that in order to be the best, in order to prove yourself as the greatest talent in the world you gotta be at least the best man in your tag team. Unfortunately for him, he’s the runner up in that metric.
So now here we are, the once hungry wolf, a pup compared to his partner, is coming up against an underdog in Sam Kidsgrove. A man who’s had a taste of where he wants to be in this company and who has the unconditional backing of his one true love. He’s coming up against John McClane, the everyman who people admire and respect. He’s coming up against the people.
I know I’ll be there and I’ll fight with every last thing I have to continue in this tournament, because I’ve got nothing to lose other than my own pride and, well, I lost that battle with myself a long time ago.”
“Thank you Mr Kidsgrove, that’s powerful stuff. We’re gonna take a break now and when we come back we’ll continue this conversation, moving on to your time in Westminster as an MP. Stick around, we'll be back soon.”
Back in the lounge, Zooey has tears in her eyes as Kat comforts her. They are both moved by Kidsgrove’s words, Zooey - although she knows the bond they have and feels exactly the same way can’t help but get emotional when she hears the words coming from his mouth. Insecurities can go both ways in a relationship. Kat smiles as Zooey cry laughs.
“Sorry,” laughs Zooey “You must think I’m stupid for crying at that. I’m so proud of him.”
“I know.” Kat says, comfortingly. “And you know what? I think he wants to marry you.”
The ticking clock graphic is shown on the screen of the TV in the lounge of Sam and Zooey’s mansion in LA. Zooey and Katherine Hastings are watching the interview, sharing a bottle of red and a nice big box of leftover halloween chocolates.
“Such a shame there were so few trick or treaters this year” says Zooey, while she pops a pumpkin shaped chocolate in her mouth.
“Well, it worked out well for us!” Replies Kat while she drinks some wine. “I was not aware Sam had issues.”
“We all do some way or another. He’s good at hiding it though, he has this bravado and swagger about him and acts like nothing gets to him, but yeah he sometimes has these bouts of self doubt and some sort of impostor syndrome.”
“Really?” Kat seems shocked by this. “I’d never have guessed.”
“Really. He’s not afraid of it and doesn’t try to hide it - in fact this is the reason why he agreed to do the 60 minutes interview. He wants to get the word out there that mental health is important.”
“Wow. That’s gutsy”
“Yeah, I’m proud of him. It must be so hard to get up in front of the world and talk about your mental health to everyone. It’s partly the reason we’ve been away from Action for a while, he had a lot of self doubt after the success of Die Hard. It’s weird how success works sometimes.”
“How come?”
“Simple really, he didn’t think he deserved that much praise and for the film to be such a success. He was prepared for it to go and be an average movie. So when it ended up being the biggest blockbuster since the original Avengers film it caught him by surprise. He’s had to just chill for a few weeks and remember that he’s actually really, really good. When he believes in himself, he’s the best in any business.”
“Do you think he’s ready to come back and beat Downfall? He’s on a roll.”
“Sam just needs to believe in himself hun. If he does, then he can beat Downfall, hell he can go and win the whole tournament. If he doesn’t believe in himself? Well I have twice as much belief in him than he even knows. We’ll be OK. How about you anyway?”
“I wish I was in the tournament. Other than that, things couldn’t be better!”
“And the romance front?”
Before Kat could answer, the adverts end and the interview returns, Kat half grins and takes a sip of her wine while they both focus back up on the interview.
“So Sam, you’ve always talked about getting into the character and making sure that with every acting project you have you know intimately how the character you play will act in every situation. Do you go down the method route, I know you’re friends with Ben Affleck and he’s known for this. What’s your process?” Lesley Stahl asks.
Sam grins, nodding along at the question and thinks for a moment before he answers.
“It depends on the role, sometimes it’s worth getting into character way before the shoot as you can be so far out of your comfort zone, or the guy is absolutely nothing like you that you have to live that life to be able to understand how to act in a situation y’know?”
“Did you have to do any of that for the role of John McClane?”
“No, not really. At the end of the day, John McClane is a character that’s basically like all of us. He’s the guy who finds himself in a tough situation and he has to make a decision whether to sink or swim. He’s the underdog, facing off against overwhelming odds to just do what he has to do to protect his family. He’s like all of us really, most of us are underdogs in this world. We either have no money, illnesses, a system that is designed to keep you down or just were not born into the right family. So it was easy to find the character as it is literally acting like myself.”
“An underdog? You have been successful in everything you’ve ever put your talents at. Member of Parliament, box office successes since you were 7, multiple time United States and Tag team champion. You are overwhelmingly rich and are one of the highest paid actors in America, with a partner who is one of the highest paid actresses. How do you come to the conclusion you’re an underdog?”
“Simple really, I’m a fraud.”
“A fraud? How?”
“Because my brain tells me I am. You see, I can be a multiple time champion, fine. I can break all the box office records in the world. Fine. But you know what I can’t do? I can’t accept it sometimes. Sometimes my brain just says “Nope, Sam what are you doing? How the hell are you in this position? How did you deserve this? You don’t.” This is how imposter syndrome works, it’s how depression spirals start and it’s how concussions can affect you.
I have been in the top echelons of every industry I’ve taken a crack at. I’ve main evented at Action, I’m a Hollywood superstar. I’ve been an MP. Great achievements for sure but sometimes I think about it and it seems like somebody else had those achievements, not me. This is why I talk about being the underdog and not really having to work to find the character of John McClane. John McClane is a metaphor for all of us that have to struggle to get ahead. Whether it’s with ourselves, whether it’s with a boss that holds you down or a system that wants to destroy you, whether it’s being in a financial trap and the state of the world meaning you can’t get out of the cycle of poverty. We’re all underdogs in our own way. This is why I think Die Hard took off so well - because we tapped into that, showed the people that even against the overwhelming odds you can still fight back and win. It’s an important character.”
“So if you’re the underdog and mental health issues are the reason, doesn’t that put you in danger?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like if I was going into a fight, not that I would, I mean I can’t fight to save my life, but if I was then I wouldn’t want my potential enemies to know I’m second guessing myself and that I see myself as the underdog, right?”
“Yeah, that makes sense. But consider this. A fighter is best when they know what they are, when their mind is in unification with their body, when they know what they can and can’t do at any given moment. Let me give you an example right, so you know Katherine Hastings, yes?”
“Yeah, she’s a very talented and engaging woman.”
“Indeed, she’s like a part of our family now. But anyway, Katherine knows what she’s about. You wouldn’t catch her going into that ring and trying to do something she’s uncomfortable with. She has a gameplan, she’ll execute that gameplan and she’ll pull out all the moves in her arsenal to win. Sure she’ll improvise every now and then or gamble, but it’ll always be in a measured, calculated way. What she won’t do is try something she’ll never be able to pull off.”
“OK”
“So it’s all about understanding who you are and accepting it.”
“How will that help you beat Downfall though?”
“So Downfall and I have a certain history, right? He’s always been the plucky underdog, the man with a point to prove and the one who has the hunger to fight and destroy me because he wants my place on the ladder. That’s fair, this industry is basically all about that, you want the top jobs and the top slots you have to beat the top guys. It’s the nature of it all right?
So you got Downfall roughly a year ago, give or take, this journeyman talent who wants to make a name for himself putting a massive target on my back and taking me out at trios. So he does, then I beat him, teach him a lesson and put him at the back of my mind right?
He goes away and discovers himself, figures out what he wants to do with his career, gets a bit ol’ hitch on the coat-tails of Dion and next thing you know he’s on a roll. Downfall and Dion end up being these unstoppable monsters, they beat Dandy and I in the middle of the ring and Dion goes from strength to strength. They even went and destroyed Philidor, Dion getting the pin and looking impressive. He’s on top of his game right now because his mind and his body are in tune again. The two of them are a well oiled machine and they look out for one another.”
“Right… Ok?”
“So the roles are flipped, Downfall is now the overwhelming favourite, he has what he wanted. He has my spot. I’m the underdog and I know I have to put out the effort of a lifetime to beat him because he’s on a roll. He’s going to have all the momentum and he’s going to want that to continue. I know that because I have been there, felt that and know exactly what he’s thinking in this situation.”
“Which is?”
“He’s thinking he’s unbeatable right now. He’s riding the wave and he’s feeling pretty good about himself. You can tell by the way that he actually seems to enjoy himself nowadays, I swear when I was watching the match against Philidor I saw him crack a smile. I’ve never seen him smile before, he’s always been so broody and intense.
This means 2 things for me.” Sam starts counting on his hand his points as he talks about the change in Downfall, he has a steely glint in his eye and a quiet determination about him. If the man feels like he has imposter syndrome right now he’s doing a great job of hiding it.
“1: It means he’s vulnerable. Part of what makes Daniel Fehl Downfall is his intensity. It’s his general distrust of people and his surly nature. He’s a scrapper, a fighter who is always the plucky underdog who has to give it his all to hide his limited talent. If he’s happy, he’s vulnerable. If he’s content, he doesn’t have that edge, he’s running off momentum alone and you can’t do that long term, you have to fuel the fire sometimes and you can’t do that if you are fundamentally changing who you are. Fehl is not a fundamentally happy man, so he’s out of his comfort zone. Being out of your comfort zone is deathly as a fighter because you will always second guess yourself and think that something is up.
In accepting who I am, the underdog who has to fight through physical and mental illnesses just to keep my head above water, I am much more in tune with my body. Which means I am going to fight, fight and fight some more until I win, because giving up is never an option.
2: Like John McClane I will crawl over broken glass and fight with everything I have. Like Hans, he will see me as nothing but an annoyance, something easily dealt with, not a poison pill, or a fly in the ointment. The more momentum you have, the more times you beat a guy and think you have his number, the more chance you have of being surprised.
You see he now has the target on his back, he’s now the man in my spot. He isn’t used to being there, he’s used to being the hunter, the hungry wolf who snaps at the neck of his prey. He’s used to wanting the victory so badly because it’s taking the next step that’s just that bit out of reach and doing everything he can to get there.
But what next? After a victory against Philidor where does he go? Has he ever asked himself what happens when he reaches his plateau? He already thinks he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to wrestling. But has he asked himself what happens when he can go no further or does his arrogance block that thought? Does he fight as viciously to stay where he is? Of course not. That’s not what humans do, we’re not programmed that way. Once you reach a place where you’re comfortable and happy, then you’re going to try that little less because you want to preserve what you have. You’re going to get that half a percent more complacent each and every time you go out there and win. Why? Because you’re comfortable where you are, that’s why. Nothing can touch you, you’ve got no ambitions ahead of you so why not slip down a gear for a while? It happened to me, I can tell you absolutely right now that the exact thing happened to me, multiple times. I achieved my goal of becoming the US champion again. I get complacent and my brain just decides that this is it, this is how far we go, no need to try much more than this. Then the imposter syndrome and all the negative stuff slowly creeps in.
So yeah, knowing who I am and what my issues are will help defeat Downfall because I know what he’s thinking, I know myself now more than I have ever known in the past. I have a beautiful woman at my back who believes in me way more than I’ll ever believe in myself and that’s priceless. I cannot quantify how much Zooey’s belief means to me, when I’m at my lowest, she’s there. She’s my biggest fan, my biggest cheerleader and one day I hope she’s my wife.
Honestly can the same be said of Fehl? Yeah he’s got his bro Dion, they seem tight. I’m tight with Ben and Matt but it’s not the same as the love you get from a partner who truly gets you to your essence. Knowing that you would die for one another and would protect each other through everything out there, sharing your lives together for eternity is a much more deep rooted bond than having your best buds watch your back.
Having unconditional love and support when you are down and out is the best way of getting back to your feet. Fehl has a woman in his life mind you, they have a lot of history as well, they seem to get along at times, at others they don’t. I never got the impression from the two of them though that she would sacrifice everything if the chips were down and he needed support. I never got the impression he would fight through hell and back just to see her smile again. Sure they like one another, they might consider themselves soul mates or whatever, but I gotta be honest, he’s more likely to help Dion than her right now. Why? Because Dion is the guy most likely to help him to the promised land, Dion is the only guy who affirms that Downfall is the best wrestler in the world. Dion helps him think he’s great, Dion wins him titles.
Problem for Downfall though is the simple fact that in order to be the best, in order to prove yourself as the greatest talent in the world you gotta be at least the best man in your tag team. Unfortunately for him, he’s the runner up in that metric.
So now here we are, the once hungry wolf, a pup compared to his partner, is coming up against an underdog in Sam Kidsgrove. A man who’s had a taste of where he wants to be in this company and who has the unconditional backing of his one true love. He’s coming up against John McClane, the everyman who people admire and respect. He’s coming up against the people.
I know I’ll be there and I’ll fight with every last thing I have to continue in this tournament, because I’ve got nothing to lose other than my own pride and, well, I lost that battle with myself a long time ago.”
“Thank you Mr Kidsgrove, that’s powerful stuff. We’re gonna take a break now and when we come back we’ll continue this conversation, moving on to your time in Westminster as an MP. Stick around, we'll be back soon.”
Back in the lounge, Zooey has tears in her eyes as Kat comforts her. They are both moved by Kidsgrove’s words, Zooey - although she knows the bond they have and feels exactly the same way can’t help but get emotional when she hears the words coming from his mouth. Insecurities can go both ways in a relationship. Kat smiles as Zooey cry laughs.
“Sorry,” laughs Zooey “You must think I’m stupid for crying at that. I’m so proud of him.”
“I know.” Kat says, comfortingly. “And you know what? I think he wants to marry you.”