Post by Addy A on Oct 16, 2021 5:02:19 GMT -5
The week I had been tiring, fraught with some of the most emotional moments I’d experienced, making the decision to abort my child was as frightening to me as it was harrowing the day that Robbie Hope passed away. But, if I was being real with myself, it was the smartest decision I had ever made. The father would never leave his wife, he wouldn’t give up his career no matter how many times I swallowed his cum in a night.
Coming home before Execution was something I needed for me. Something Neveah needed from me. I had neglected our time since returning to Action Wrestling. Even more so, since all of the Regan bullshit. As I put my key in the lock of the door - I know that all I want is to walk inside, crack a bottle, whatever cheap-ass bottle of Vodka I left in the cupboard last time I was home and drink myself into a alcoholic slumber that would make Ernest Hemingway proud. It didn’t matter that it was only Midday.
I opened the door and was immediately confronted by Savannah and Neveah. Something in their body language was telling me that my desire to forget the wipe of a steady diet of alcohol and benzos wasn’t going to happen as quickly as I wished.
“Hey girls.” I smiled as I hugged both of them tight to my body.
Savannah wore the stern face of a matron, she had been a blessing in disguise and I’m sure I never showed her how much I appreciated her. I ripped from everything she’d known is Las Vegas and she gave me all her time to watch my daughter while I gallivanted about the country. I made a mental note that I would most likely forget to thank her more. Neveah’s face was more coy and she was somewhat shy in her body language, mannerisms that were unheard of in my daughter.
“Neve has something to tell you, Ad.” Savannah said tersely as she folded her arms across her chest and looked at my daughter with an air of disappointment.
I wondered what had happened.
“Mummy,” she tried to be sweet, probably an attempt to better me up. I was suspecting she had done something seriously wrong, but much trouble could a six-year old get into. “I hit a boy.”
I smirked, the look that Savannah gave me suggested that I didn’t have the appropriate reaction to the situation.
“You did more than that, Neve.” Savannah pushed her to tell more with her voice, and gave her a little nudge on shoulder. “Tell your mother what you did.”
Neveah didn’t want to tell me, I could see the apprehension stretch across her face. I crouched down to allow her to look in my eyes, I was trying to build our mother and daughter bond at this moment. It may not be a good idea, but I gotta try. “It’s ok baby. Ya can tell Mummy.”
She smiled back at me but I could tell she didn’t want to tell me. I picked her up in my arms and stood, finally getting the chance to sit down on one of my couches with her on my lap. “C’mon Neve, watcha do that’s so bad.” I pleaded, I wanted, no I needed her to be able to trust in talking to me, even at her young age.
“He called you a fucking slut, Mummy.”
“How ya know what that means?”
“I know it's not nice.”
Savannah watched on, she knew more to this story that Neve was telling me. “Thanks fah standin’ up fah me, Neve.” I said, proud that my daughter had a sense of honor. Savannah made a distinct ‘hmmph’ sound. Turning my attention I asked, “Just tell what happened.”
Savannah sighed heavily, “She didn’t just hit a boy, she bashed him.” My jaw dropped. “She didn’t just bash him, she hit with a piece of wood behind, he didn’t know it was coming. The teachers stopped her when she was going to jump on his head.”
Neveah was hiding her face from me, as I sat slack jawed listening to Savannah tell what my daughter unleashed. “Baby, that’s a bit much for someone calling me names.”
Savannah kept talking, “She waited until he turned his back too. He didn’t know it was coming.”
I frowned. I’m all for doing what’s necessary but blind attacks are the bullshit tactics of cowards and I won’t stand for that.
“He was ten.” Savannah frowned, “She’s suspended until you talk to the school.” She finished and left the room, presumably to let me deal with Neveah.
Now I am gobsmacked, and afraid that my girl is a little bit too much like me.
“Neve, baby. Ya can’t attack people from b’hind. It’s tha stuff that cowards do. It tha tactics’a weak people wit’ weak ‘earts.” I was talking fast, I really needed to compose myself and tell my daughter about the right and wrong way to handle your business. “Neveah,” I was deliberate in my speaking this time, “I’m sure he was saying mean things but you can’t hit him behind.”
“But he said he wished Bunga killed you.” Neve protested, “He said he hopes that Regan Voorhees kills you. He can’t say that Mummy. He said he hoped I was an orphan when you died because you fucked so many people that you didn’t know who my Daddy was.” She had started crying at some point but I wasn’t sure when, “I know who my Daddy is. I know my Daddy is. I see his photo under your pillow.”
Now was not the time.
She kept blubbering through the tears, “I know my Daddy died but I can’t let him say that. So I fuckin’ hit him with a stick. I was angry Mummy.”
I take a moment to compose my thoughts before talking to her. I was torn. I admired the courage of her conviction to stand up for what she believed in. But I needed to tell her the right and the wrong to do things.
“Neve, baby. You can’t just attack people when they don’t know you are coming. That’s how cowards are. Cowards rely on people like us to lose control and they take advantage of that. It allows them to play the victim. I’m sure everyone is looking after that boy now. Keep control they lose."
“But you fight, Mummy. Why can’t I” she looks at me with pleading eyes.
Hypocrisy? No. Truth? Maybe.
“Ya can Neve, just make sure they see it coming.” I tell her. Maybe not the right way of doing things but my way of doing things.
“I’m sorry, Mummy.” she says, wiping the tears from her face and suck the snot back into her nostrils.
“It’s ok, baby.” I squeeze tight against me, allowing her head to rest against my clavicle.
“What do I do next time, Mummy?” she asks without looking up at me.
“Kick ‘em in tha balls an’ punch in tha nose.” I say with a chuckle.
“Don’t do that baby.” I forgot I was talking with a six-year old for a moment.
“What do I do to bullies, Mummy?” she was looking at me, badgering for direction
I know what I would do. But that’s me. I need to guide Neveah and help her build a better world. She might have done wrong but she needs my love. I will save my anger. And I'm saving my hate for Regan Voorhees and the Execution cage.
“Pray to God.” I kiss her on the forehead, noticing for the first time tonight, her hair smells like apples.
Addy sits cross-legged on the steps of a Victorian-Era church.
“I’m going to fucking kill you.”
"Yes. I'm talking to you Regan Voorhees. I hate everything that you are. Everything that you represent. I hate you so much that I looked into my soul and decided I would drive you through ladders rather than win the Cruiserweight Title that Action Wrestling needs me to hold. It was more important for me to maim your pretty blonde face than recapture the belt."
"Because of you."
"Your inability to stand for anything that isn't self-serving. Your inability to accept the fait accompli that you're not the centre of the universe. The narcissistic smile that crosses your face every time you enter the room. I could go on, but no one wants to hear me drone on forever about the things I despise about you. There's no need, most of it's self-explanatory."
"History is going to paint who we are, Regan. There will be no fallacy when our story is published. Simply put, win or lose, I will be written as the fighter who stood tall in the face of adversity and treachery and you will be written as the coward who hid behind the blind and misguided. No matter the outcome."
"Why did you think I wanted you in the cage? Because once that door is locked there is no one but you and me. Sometimes that's the best way to settle these things. Especially with people like you, people who can't handle their own business. Even in the weeks since this deal was signed you fought with the bravery of Robert Ford. Either keeping yourself safe in shadows or blindsiding me at the end of a harrowing week. Truth be told, I never expected anything more of you. You're worse than a spoiled child who doesn't want to share their toys."
"I'm guessing it comes from being the apple of Daddy's eye. I guess you couldn't handle not being the centre of attention, because from the moment I entered the CruiserClash arena you've been jealous of me. Even when you were champ you couldn't handle the fact I was and always will be the first name off everyone's tongue. You could handle it when you wore the belt, barely. But the moment I took that from you - well it was pretty obvious your world crumbled around you. Relying on a fool like Joey Bunga to do your dirty work proves that. I thought you were better than that."
"I was wrong."
"Regan, despite your best efforts I'm never going to quit. I’m never running away. I'm not Soldado. I'm not Atara. They were scared. I’m not. I'm still here. I'm still coming to put that steel bolt through your skull. Like the little piggy that went to market you don't have a way out. The Execution cage is where you’re going to die. It's destiny. Your destiny. I will leave that cage as Addy A. You won’t leave - not breathing at least. The Execution cage is designed for me to thrive. It's designed for me to rip your heart from your chest. Cowards like you don't like environments you can't control and you won't control me inside that cage. You have no hope of that."
“Get your hands dirty - history says you won’t.”
“I say you can’t.”
"But you're welcome to try. You should understand something though - I am not afraid to spill my own blood to flood the cage with yours. I am not afraid to break my own bones to shatter yours. What you’re swinging for my head, I’m going to leave you swinging by your neck. Because I hate you. I have torn a man's scrotum from his body. I have burned the flesh on the bottom of a man's feet until there was none left."
"That was business. I did that for a check."
"This thing between you and me."
"This thing between you and me. This is personal. Ask Gina Bigliani what happens when you make something personal to me."
"Think about that. Really stop and think."
"Then remember this, Regan."
"I killed my own child."
"What the fuck do you think I'm gonna do to you?."
Addy enters the church.