Post by Hazard on Oct 10, 2021 13:11:31 GMT -5
The camera turned on in front of an abandoned church, as the camera advanced towards the doors of the decrepit building, they suddenly swung open, revealing Hazard who was dressed as the greatest showman.
“WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!” He yelled out, while raising his arms in the air.
He quickly leaped toward the camera, as he stole it from the cameraman. He put it inches away from his face, as he peeked into the lens. “Is this thing on?” He tapped on the lens.
The cameraman could be heard in the background as he whispered to Hazard. “It’s on, so stop smudging the lenses.”
Hazard clearly smacked the cameraman in the head with a prop cane, even if it wasn't shown. “I thought I told you not to speak!” His mood was all over the place, as he repeatedly switched between Happy and angry. He went inside the church, As he made sure, not to show the interior.
“This is probably one of the greatest things I have ever created, as you’ll see in a second.” He turned the camera around while he placed it on a tripod, revealing a makeshift circus, which has one attraction, a wild goose on a pedestal. He starts walking towards the goose, but stops just short of it.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to give you the best show of your life, as I prepare to tame this wild beast.” He bowed, and fireworks shot up behind him, causing a fire to start in the rafters of the old building, the place began to light up like a tinderbox.
“OH FUCK!!” He yelled, showing that this was indeed not part of the show. Hazard booked it outHof the building, making sure not to forget his new camera. The building quickly collapsed behind him. “THERE GOES ALL MY FUCKING WORK! Oh yeah and the goose, eh I don’t really care about the goose now that I think about it, actually I should probably get out of here now that I think about it.”
He dived feet first into his car as he drove as fast as he could, away from the mess he had created. Hazard placed the camera on the dash as he continued to speed off, suddenly those old familiar red and blue lights lit up behind him. “Haha, not today bootlickers. I stole that from a video game.”
His car reached its top speed, as he quickly swerved onto a dirt road, almost driving his car into a ditch, narrowly avoiding it. “WOOOOOOO, that was a fucking close one, I tell ya, nothing gets the blood pumping quite like a good ol’ police chase. Ya, feel me? Wait, who am I talking to? OH RIGHTTT the camera.” He pulled over when the coast was clear, lighting up a joint to calm his nerves.
He took a puff and exhaled, sighing as the green goddess tickled his brain. “Ohhhh, that’s so much better, I can actually think now. Ok so since I can’t show you my mega awesome goose taming event, i’m gonna have to make up for it by telling you a story, knod your head yes if you wanna hear a story.” He said like he was in an episode of Dora the Explorer. “Oh so you do, wanna hear a story? Well alright! Once upon a time there was a stupid fucking goose, we’ll call them Bonnie Wins for this story! Bonnie Wins was a very annoying goose, honking at anyone in sight. Until the day she annoyed her last person, we’ll call him Rotiv! Rotiv was an alright guy, he never bothered anyone unless they bothered him, the evil Bonnie Wins decided she wanted to be one of those few people who annoy Rotiv! He didn’t take kindly to her attempts to annoy him so he put her in the middle of an Ice skating rink without Ice skates on, the end.”
Hazard leaned over to turn off the camera as he waved goodbye.
“WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!” He yelled out, while raising his arms in the air.
He quickly leaped toward the camera, as he stole it from the cameraman. He put it inches away from his face, as he peeked into the lens. “Is this thing on?” He tapped on the lens.
The cameraman could be heard in the background as he whispered to Hazard. “It’s on, so stop smudging the lenses.”
Hazard clearly smacked the cameraman in the head with a prop cane, even if it wasn't shown. “I thought I told you not to speak!” His mood was all over the place, as he repeatedly switched between Happy and angry. He went inside the church, As he made sure, not to show the interior.
“This is probably one of the greatest things I have ever created, as you’ll see in a second.” He turned the camera around while he placed it on a tripod, revealing a makeshift circus, which has one attraction, a wild goose on a pedestal. He starts walking towards the goose, but stops just short of it.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to give you the best show of your life, as I prepare to tame this wild beast.” He bowed, and fireworks shot up behind him, causing a fire to start in the rafters of the old building, the place began to light up like a tinderbox.
“OH FUCK!!” He yelled, showing that this was indeed not part of the show. Hazard booked it outHof the building, making sure not to forget his new camera. The building quickly collapsed behind him. “THERE GOES ALL MY FUCKING WORK! Oh yeah and the goose, eh I don’t really care about the goose now that I think about it, actually I should probably get out of here now that I think about it.”
He dived feet first into his car as he drove as fast as he could, away from the mess he had created. Hazard placed the camera on the dash as he continued to speed off, suddenly those old familiar red and blue lights lit up behind him. “Haha, not today bootlickers. I stole that from a video game.”
His car reached its top speed, as he quickly swerved onto a dirt road, almost driving his car into a ditch, narrowly avoiding it. “WOOOOOOO, that was a fucking close one, I tell ya, nothing gets the blood pumping quite like a good ol’ police chase. Ya, feel me? Wait, who am I talking to? OH RIGHTTT the camera.” He pulled over when the coast was clear, lighting up a joint to calm his nerves.
He took a puff and exhaled, sighing as the green goddess tickled his brain. “Ohhhh, that’s so much better, I can actually think now. Ok so since I can’t show you my mega awesome goose taming event, i’m gonna have to make up for it by telling you a story, knod your head yes if you wanna hear a story.” He said like he was in an episode of Dora the Explorer. “Oh so you do, wanna hear a story? Well alright! Once upon a time there was a stupid fucking goose, we’ll call them Bonnie Wins for this story! Bonnie Wins was a very annoying goose, honking at anyone in sight. Until the day she annoyed her last person, we’ll call him Rotiv! Rotiv was an alright guy, he never bothered anyone unless they bothered him, the evil Bonnie Wins decided she wanted to be one of those few people who annoy Rotiv! He didn’t take kindly to her attempts to annoy him so he put her in the middle of an Ice skating rink without Ice skates on, the end.”
Hazard leaned over to turn off the camera as he waved goodbye.