Pick Your Battles
Feb 12, 2020 16:09:44 GMT -5
The Papa John's Pizza Man and “The RevolutiDaddy” Wesley like this
Post by Dagvald Riddik on Feb 12, 2020 16:09:44 GMT -5
“...the former Cruiserweight and tag team champion, the ‘IllumiDaddy’ himself, Wesley!”
Dagvald’s voice echoes as though it is reverberating off the towering ceiling of a typical Clash venue arena. His right hand is held high, clutching the same axe he had in the ring the night before. In his left hand he holds a toy microphone to his mouth, the sound effect feature being the culprit which explains how his voice carried so much weight in the swampy clearing. He chuckles, looks at the prop, and tosses it aside, it's simple role performed satisfactorily.
“I do deeply despise being interrupted, and if what happened to Orville after he cut me off is anything to go by, I’d say I’ve proven that. When I was this close to calling out my chosen opponent, to laying down a challenge for someone of my caliber, I don’t think it will come as any surprise that it was you I wanted. Your name was the end of that sentence I was in the middle of before I was drowned out by that clown. Luckily for me, the gods-“ a near blinding streak of lightning splinters across the sky, “smile upon me,” an appropriately deafening explosion of thunder crashes all around him, “and thus here we are, my prophecy fulfilled.”
The tears of the wives of slain Viking warriors in Valhalla begin ruthlessly pelting Dagvald, soaking him and terraforming the already muddy terrain into an impassable morass. “Perhaps you are asking yourself, ‘why me?’ What would Dagvald Riddik want with the IllumiDaddy? That’s because you are selling yourself short once again Wesley. You have muddled through your career thus far weighed down by second thoughts and the fear that you will never be as good as your father, Evan. You have done everything you could to hide the shortcomings you personally are paranoid of.
“From the moment you showed your face in this company, you were surrounded by useful idiots, or to use a phrase from your parlance, hypemen. Chase and Avery were like living costumes you put on to hide your insecurities, to pump you up and always be on your side. There was a brief moment when you almost became self aware, way back when you had your first match booked on the main roster with the big boys. You told yourself that those who should always be there for you may drop you along the way, and the only way to succeed is to believe in yourself.
“Except you didn’t tell yourself that, you mentioned that as something you should tell your kids, after their mother left you because of your preoccupation with your flailing wrestling career! You were projecting your own insecurities onto your children, and you wonder why your wife left you? Is it even possible for somebody to be that bloody blind? You were so blinded, in fact, that you could not even see the betrayer in your midst. The very men you had surrounded yourself with were privy to the reason you did so, they were just good at hiding it from you.
“Avery saw weakness in you and took advantage of it. Like a Roman emperor who surrounded himself with legionnaires, your own bodyguard overthrew you and usurped your throne. You erected your entire persona on being a carefree jokester without a concern in the world, and then, your universe came crashing down. You haven’t been the same since that day you crumpled your former friend’s face in like a fucking prius underneath an eighteen wheeler in a three lane highway pile up. What changed? Was it the desperate pleas from your former wife, the woman who had promised you, placed her fucking hand on God’s holy word and convincingly vowed to you her eternal love, for better or worse, in sickness or health, was it how she BEGGED you, a nobody to her now, to stop brutalizing her new lover?”
Another burst of thunder explodes across the barren winter landscape. The pouring rain permeates Dag’s heavy clothes and batters his defiantly smug face. The toy microphone is already slipping out view into the quagmire of boggy earth.
“Have you considered what her life is like now? Can you imagine the long lasting negative impact you’ve had on that woman? Women’s psyches are the most fragile entity known to man. They require perfect balance, and they are unable to create the balance they need in any way. They rely on others to give them the stability they need. Primal instincts are still their driving force. Women need a strong man who loves them above everything and everyone else, and also protects them both emotionally and physically. Ari left you because you didn’t give her the fucking time of day, Wesley. Not like Avery.
“Ari didn’t give a fuck about your success in Action Wrestling, your physical prowess or the money you made. I know this may be controversial, but I know that women aren’t the soulless gold digging, attention seeking whores the modern world order wants them to be. The JudeoChristian slaveholders who attempt to civilize us will never be able to fully subjugate the natural instincts of women. Deep down, every girl craves affection above wealth, power and fame. You thought you could hold onto women with your notoriety and macho personality alone, but you were wrong, and were utterly blindsided by the truth.
“But Ari still doesn’t have the man she’s looking for, the one she needs. She needs a man who can both love and protect her, and when you caved in your former homie’s skull, you caved in Ari’s whole world. Now she is vulnerable, alone, with no one she can trust, no one she can rely on. You’ve broken that woman, Wesley. You projected your own failure onto her, you blamed her and Avery for your own failures as a man. You let your wrestling career get in the way of your family because you valued your own success above the love of your wife and children, and it led to you destroying everything you should have cared about.
“You know, that includes you, Wesley. It’s said that you never realize what you have until it’s gone, and I think that rings very true when describing you. When you lost everything, it broke you, and you underwent a bout of temporary insanity. You rebranded yourself the Guru Daddy and somehow became a knockoff Alek Shades despite him not even being in the company yet. I suppose that’s fitting, seeing as even your original schtick was just ‘I talk funny and smoke’ which Dandy Divito was busy filing legal proceedings over- but luckily for you he was satisfied beating your ass in the ring rather than the courtroom.
“However, you still haven’t come to terms with your pathological codependency disorder. After losing Ari, and your only friends, you needed what any wannabe fuckboy frat kid worth his salt goes looking for: a rebound. Enter Ariel Shadows.”
Dagvald embraces the overwhelming dirtbaggery of his accusation, smugly grinning from ear to ear. He points Ødelagte’s axe at the camera in an accusatory manner. The thunder washes over the sky, a sign that Thor is with him.
“You were desperate to take back control of your life, but to do that, you had to return to the way things were. You had to have someone giving you the reassurance you so pathetically live for. You don’t believe in yourself, Wesley, that’s why you need people to cheer you on. That’s why you failed in singles competition against both the United States champion and the Television Champion. That’s why the only title you’ve won in the main roster is the Tag Team belts, which you had to share with someone else. And that’s why you’ll fail against me, the Prophesied One, Son of Odinn, Dagvald Riddik.
You think you are the one who terminated your relationship with Ariel, but I, with my gift of Odinn’s vision, can see the truth hidden behind your mask of lies. You knew you could not take another breakup. You knew, if Ariel saw you for the failure you are, she would abandon you, just as Ari had. The prophecy was right there, Wesley, even their fucking names were practically identical. You didn’t even have to remember to scream out a different name as The Dreamcatcher caught your cherry vape flavored load in her gaping mouth.
“That’s why you gave her the old ‘you can’t fire me, I quit!’ You treated the woman you claimed to love just as ruthlessly as the man your true love left you for, and I know why. Deep down, way fucking submerged in that rotting brain of yours, it wasn’t Avery you wanted to pulverize like your meat when you’re watching Phoenix LeStrange from gorilla, but Ari herself. How dare someone have so much power over you? You felt belittled, humiliated and emasculated to be reduced to a sniveling wad of emotion by someone who could never beat you in the ring. You had built this carefree fratboy image for yourself, but she tore it all down and left you in pieces.
“You wanted to know what it’s like to be the one who dissolves another human’s entire universe. You are living a lie, Wesley. You are lying to yourself when you say you’re in control. You are an emotional trainwreck, and I’m going to have to be the one to clean you up. You’ll be astonished how sobering a Vision Quest delivered by yours truly can be. Come Monday night, you’ll experience your true enlightenment.”
He drops the axe and turns off the recording. Now free to also drop the act, he takes a massive breath, feeling the freezing droplets flow like a river over his tongue and down his throat. He exhales, setting free the pent up stress and anger built up over the past few days. It’s always cathartic to cut a scathing promo, but there’s so much more he can’t express on camera if he wants to keep his image.
“There is a lot of potential in you, Wesley,” he whispers to himself. “If only you could get your shit together. If only you could cope with loss as I have. No one knows better than me what it’s like to lose the one you love.”
He starts walking toward his front door, and steps on the microphone, finally submerging it entirely into the hungry earth. “Would I leave my career, my opportunity to fulfill my destiny, if it meant a peaceful life with Isabella? Or would I choose the fame and power as you did? What value does success in one aspect of life really carry if it means suffering in another?” He leaves the toy in the mud and walks into his compound. “I can’t overlook this match. I can’t let my confidence overtake me and cost me this opportunity. I wanted this match because I have to prove myself without biting off more than I can chew. This is my chance to crush a two time champion, somebody who’s actually mattered in this company rather than two newcomer nobodies.”
Dag accidentally steps on the dogfood bag, and Beowulf instantaneously ambushes him by leaping from across the floor. Dag starts laughing and says, “yes, Beowulf, I’m glad to see you too. Maybe all who once loved me shall come running to me in time. Alright, I think I need some music.” He pours a healthy portion of chow for his Elkhound and turns on the radio, catching the end of a song he hadn’t heard before. It captures his interest when the female singer begins belting harsh, bellowing, yet femininely soothing vocals over the wailing lo fi aesthetic.
“Not bad,” he thinks to himself. A short moment later it comes to an epic conclusion, and the DJ sends it off.
“That was ‘Requiem for Freya’ by the one woman black metal project Huldra, wrapping up our Heavy Metal Power Hour!”
Dagvald’s voice echoes as though it is reverberating off the towering ceiling of a typical Clash venue arena. His right hand is held high, clutching the same axe he had in the ring the night before. In his left hand he holds a toy microphone to his mouth, the sound effect feature being the culprit which explains how his voice carried so much weight in the swampy clearing. He chuckles, looks at the prop, and tosses it aside, it's simple role performed satisfactorily.
“I do deeply despise being interrupted, and if what happened to Orville after he cut me off is anything to go by, I’d say I’ve proven that. When I was this close to calling out my chosen opponent, to laying down a challenge for someone of my caliber, I don’t think it will come as any surprise that it was you I wanted. Your name was the end of that sentence I was in the middle of before I was drowned out by that clown. Luckily for me, the gods-“ a near blinding streak of lightning splinters across the sky, “smile upon me,” an appropriately deafening explosion of thunder crashes all around him, “and thus here we are, my prophecy fulfilled.”
The tears of the wives of slain Viking warriors in Valhalla begin ruthlessly pelting Dagvald, soaking him and terraforming the already muddy terrain into an impassable morass. “Perhaps you are asking yourself, ‘why me?’ What would Dagvald Riddik want with the IllumiDaddy? That’s because you are selling yourself short once again Wesley. You have muddled through your career thus far weighed down by second thoughts and the fear that you will never be as good as your father, Evan. You have done everything you could to hide the shortcomings you personally are paranoid of.
“From the moment you showed your face in this company, you were surrounded by useful idiots, or to use a phrase from your parlance, hypemen. Chase and Avery were like living costumes you put on to hide your insecurities, to pump you up and always be on your side. There was a brief moment when you almost became self aware, way back when you had your first match booked on the main roster with the big boys. You told yourself that those who should always be there for you may drop you along the way, and the only way to succeed is to believe in yourself.
“Except you didn’t tell yourself that, you mentioned that as something you should tell your kids, after their mother left you because of your preoccupation with your flailing wrestling career! You were projecting your own insecurities onto your children, and you wonder why your wife left you? Is it even possible for somebody to be that bloody blind? You were so blinded, in fact, that you could not even see the betrayer in your midst. The very men you had surrounded yourself with were privy to the reason you did so, they were just good at hiding it from you.
“Avery saw weakness in you and took advantage of it. Like a Roman emperor who surrounded himself with legionnaires, your own bodyguard overthrew you and usurped your throne. You erected your entire persona on being a carefree jokester without a concern in the world, and then, your universe came crashing down. You haven’t been the same since that day you crumpled your former friend’s face in like a fucking prius underneath an eighteen wheeler in a three lane highway pile up. What changed? Was it the desperate pleas from your former wife, the woman who had promised you, placed her fucking hand on God’s holy word and convincingly vowed to you her eternal love, for better or worse, in sickness or health, was it how she BEGGED you, a nobody to her now, to stop brutalizing her new lover?”
Another burst of thunder explodes across the barren winter landscape. The pouring rain permeates Dag’s heavy clothes and batters his defiantly smug face. The toy microphone is already slipping out view into the quagmire of boggy earth.
“Have you considered what her life is like now? Can you imagine the long lasting negative impact you’ve had on that woman? Women’s psyches are the most fragile entity known to man. They require perfect balance, and they are unable to create the balance they need in any way. They rely on others to give them the stability they need. Primal instincts are still their driving force. Women need a strong man who loves them above everything and everyone else, and also protects them both emotionally and physically. Ari left you because you didn’t give her the fucking time of day, Wesley. Not like Avery.
“Ari didn’t give a fuck about your success in Action Wrestling, your physical prowess or the money you made. I know this may be controversial, but I know that women aren’t the soulless gold digging, attention seeking whores the modern world order wants them to be. The JudeoChristian slaveholders who attempt to civilize us will never be able to fully subjugate the natural instincts of women. Deep down, every girl craves affection above wealth, power and fame. You thought you could hold onto women with your notoriety and macho personality alone, but you were wrong, and were utterly blindsided by the truth.
“But Ari still doesn’t have the man she’s looking for, the one she needs. She needs a man who can both love and protect her, and when you caved in your former homie’s skull, you caved in Ari’s whole world. Now she is vulnerable, alone, with no one she can trust, no one she can rely on. You’ve broken that woman, Wesley. You projected your own failure onto her, you blamed her and Avery for your own failures as a man. You let your wrestling career get in the way of your family because you valued your own success above the love of your wife and children, and it led to you destroying everything you should have cared about.
“You know, that includes you, Wesley. It’s said that you never realize what you have until it’s gone, and I think that rings very true when describing you. When you lost everything, it broke you, and you underwent a bout of temporary insanity. You rebranded yourself the Guru Daddy and somehow became a knockoff Alek Shades despite him not even being in the company yet. I suppose that’s fitting, seeing as even your original schtick was just ‘I talk funny and smoke’ which Dandy Divito was busy filing legal proceedings over- but luckily for you he was satisfied beating your ass in the ring rather than the courtroom.
“However, you still haven’t come to terms with your pathological codependency disorder. After losing Ari, and your only friends, you needed what any wannabe fuckboy frat kid worth his salt goes looking for: a rebound. Enter Ariel Shadows.”
Dagvald embraces the overwhelming dirtbaggery of his accusation, smugly grinning from ear to ear. He points Ødelagte’s axe at the camera in an accusatory manner. The thunder washes over the sky, a sign that Thor is with him.
“You were desperate to take back control of your life, but to do that, you had to return to the way things were. You had to have someone giving you the reassurance you so pathetically live for. You don’t believe in yourself, Wesley, that’s why you need people to cheer you on. That’s why you failed in singles competition against both the United States champion and the Television Champion. That’s why the only title you’ve won in the main roster is the Tag Team belts, which you had to share with someone else. And that’s why you’ll fail against me, the Prophesied One, Son of Odinn, Dagvald Riddik.
You think you are the one who terminated your relationship with Ariel, but I, with my gift of Odinn’s vision, can see the truth hidden behind your mask of lies. You knew you could not take another breakup. You knew, if Ariel saw you for the failure you are, she would abandon you, just as Ari had. The prophecy was right there, Wesley, even their fucking names were practically identical. You didn’t even have to remember to scream out a different name as The Dreamcatcher caught your cherry vape flavored load in her gaping mouth.
“That’s why you gave her the old ‘you can’t fire me, I quit!’ You treated the woman you claimed to love just as ruthlessly as the man your true love left you for, and I know why. Deep down, way fucking submerged in that rotting brain of yours, it wasn’t Avery you wanted to pulverize like your meat when you’re watching Phoenix LeStrange from gorilla, but Ari herself. How dare someone have so much power over you? You felt belittled, humiliated and emasculated to be reduced to a sniveling wad of emotion by someone who could never beat you in the ring. You had built this carefree fratboy image for yourself, but she tore it all down and left you in pieces.
“You wanted to know what it’s like to be the one who dissolves another human’s entire universe. You are living a lie, Wesley. You are lying to yourself when you say you’re in control. You are an emotional trainwreck, and I’m going to have to be the one to clean you up. You’ll be astonished how sobering a Vision Quest delivered by yours truly can be. Come Monday night, you’ll experience your true enlightenment.”
He drops the axe and turns off the recording. Now free to also drop the act, he takes a massive breath, feeling the freezing droplets flow like a river over his tongue and down his throat. He exhales, setting free the pent up stress and anger built up over the past few days. It’s always cathartic to cut a scathing promo, but there’s so much more he can’t express on camera if he wants to keep his image.
“There is a lot of potential in you, Wesley,” he whispers to himself. “If only you could get your shit together. If only you could cope with loss as I have. No one knows better than me what it’s like to lose the one you love.”
He starts walking toward his front door, and steps on the microphone, finally submerging it entirely into the hungry earth. “Would I leave my career, my opportunity to fulfill my destiny, if it meant a peaceful life with Isabella? Or would I choose the fame and power as you did? What value does success in one aspect of life really carry if it means suffering in another?” He leaves the toy in the mud and walks into his compound. “I can’t overlook this match. I can’t let my confidence overtake me and cost me this opportunity. I wanted this match because I have to prove myself without biting off more than I can chew. This is my chance to crush a two time champion, somebody who’s actually mattered in this company rather than two newcomer nobodies.”
Dag accidentally steps on the dogfood bag, and Beowulf instantaneously ambushes him by leaping from across the floor. Dag starts laughing and says, “yes, Beowulf, I’m glad to see you too. Maybe all who once loved me shall come running to me in time. Alright, I think I need some music.” He pours a healthy portion of chow for his Elkhound and turns on the radio, catching the end of a song he hadn’t heard before. It captures his interest when the female singer begins belting harsh, bellowing, yet femininely soothing vocals over the wailing lo fi aesthetic.
“Not bad,” he thinks to himself. A short moment later it comes to an epic conclusion, and the DJ sends it off.
“That was ‘Requiem for Freya’ by the one woman black metal project Huldra, wrapping up our Heavy Metal Power Hour!”