CerealReturn: Second Time Edition
Dec 6, 2019 16:25:03 GMT -5
Hobo, Quixote Della Torre, and 2 more like this
Post by The Papa John's Pizza Man on Dec 6, 2019 16:25:03 GMT -5
THC: "What makes a man?
What makes a sentient, existent entity?
What makes humanity?"
The Cereal Man turns around, decked in his ring gear. He is stood on top of a rooftop at dusk, the sun slowly bowing behind him as it's light makes The Cereal Man appear as nothing but a The Cereal Silhouette. The camera is garbage but good enough to see a box of Fruity Pebbles and a blunt by The Cereal Man's dusted feet.
"The answer?
Cereal.
For collections of time you all have used your meat think squares to wonder the answers to these questions, erratically ignorant of the one eternal super-truth that is Cereal being the answer to everything.
Cereal is everything. It is the harshest truth and the safest lie. The brightest gas space rock and the darkest vacuum space pit.
It is naught and it is all.
Action Wrestling has always been my church. My meat-man infested mountain of brick and LED lights for which my cries of liberation drip from the ears of the few to the ears of the many.
My air vibrations have been listened to before.
I am a follower of christianity. I speak no un-truths, no attempts at the ulations of manip.
And yet my song of salvation has not yet been Soundcloud streamed. Cerealtreamed.
Cereal has existed forever. The puny quantum machinations of the clock puppetmaster has no effect on thou cerealness.
All is Cereal. The brown stick grass in the trees and the blue liquid sky in the fish-land, all cereal. So too is the tiny cereal bullets that fit into the tiny cereal guns. And so too is the cereal unarmed enemy combatants in cereal warzones that exist as nothing but amalgamations of invincible cereal hind of mives
And yet HUMANITY SAYS NO!
SAYS THEY AREN'T CEREAL!
SAYS THEY ARE CIVILIANS AND THAT THE CEREAL MAN BROKE THE GENEVA CONVENTION ON 13 SEPERATE OCCASIONS!"
The Cereal Man begins to scratch his own face as he begins to shout, clawing his cheeks until he places a cereal box over his head and begins to breathe rapidly.
"After this, my consciousness took a break from this meat automata and returned to the stars. Entered the vast universe of comatose-osity and wondered on itself.
What is a man? And why where they not as cereal as before.
I pondered on physical weakness. Like Hobo has.
That entity and Cerealself have engaged before, and yet despite so long a cerealtime that was he remains without the cereal mortgage or the cereal steady income.
Employment is to Cereal what water is to Oxygen.
None shall escape the eldritch figure that is capitalism. Not even you, Hobo.
I also learned of mental weakness, like Flop has demonstrated by choosing a person he favours more than Cereal. He deluded himself from cerealreality in order to live out his fantasies of being respected or a rap artiet or some other meaningless human adjective.
Let's face it, he probably doesn't even vote.
But why?! Why is humanity, a race so ready to be engulfed by the 11 great cereal ogres of the moon have these abysmal qualities?! My soul bickered amongst these questions for eternities and brothers and sisters I bicker no longer!
Surely, you understand the amount of debauchery required for a man who cannot run out of time to run out of patience.
On this misery rock, the answer was unveiled."
The Cereal Man sinks to the floor and starts head butting the concrete roof of the building.
"NOT! EVERYBODY! HAS! CEREAL! FOR! BREAKFAAAAAAAST!
O' CHILDREN! WOEFUL CHILDREN! PAPA JOHN HAS FORETOLD WHAT I WILL NOW USHER IN!
YOUR BEGINNING HAS ENDED AND NOW MY END SHALL BEGIN! JUDGEMENT DAY MARCHES RAPIDLY TO THE PRESENT AND I SHALL BLOW THE TRUMPET THAT WILL LAY YOUR MISERABLE SPECIES TO WASTE!!
HOBO! FLOP!
THE CREATURES OF THE DARKNESS CRAWL BENEATH MY SKIN!! I WILL CASTRATE YOUR SOULS!!
AND THROUGH NONE OF IT SHALL I EVEN OFFER THE SLIGHTEST MERCY FOR YOUR SOMETIME SAVIOUR HAS NOW BECAME YOUR ETERNAL DESTROYER!! AND-!
Holy shit, I'm really drunk.."
The Cereal Man shrugs and jumps forward. He starts to bite the camera as the feed cuts off.
What makes a sentient, existent entity?
What makes humanity?"
The Cereal Man turns around, decked in his ring gear. He is stood on top of a rooftop at dusk, the sun slowly bowing behind him as it's light makes The Cereal Man appear as nothing but a The Cereal Silhouette. The camera is garbage but good enough to see a box of Fruity Pebbles and a blunt by The Cereal Man's dusted feet.
"The answer?
Cereal.
For collections of time you all have used your meat think squares to wonder the answers to these questions, erratically ignorant of the one eternal super-truth that is Cereal being the answer to everything.
Cereal is everything. It is the harshest truth and the safest lie. The brightest gas space rock and the darkest vacuum space pit.
It is naught and it is all.
Action Wrestling has always been my church. My meat-man infested mountain of brick and LED lights for which my cries of liberation drip from the ears of the few to the ears of the many.
My air vibrations have been listened to before.
I am a follower of christianity. I speak no un-truths, no attempts at the ulations of manip.
And yet my song of salvation has not yet been Soundcloud streamed. Cerealtreamed.
Cereal has existed forever. The puny quantum machinations of the clock puppetmaster has no effect on thou cerealness.
All is Cereal. The brown stick grass in the trees and the blue liquid sky in the fish-land, all cereal. So too is the tiny cereal bullets that fit into the tiny cereal guns. And so too is the cereal unarmed enemy combatants in cereal warzones that exist as nothing but amalgamations of invincible cereal hind of mives
And yet HUMANITY SAYS NO!
SAYS THEY AREN'T CEREAL!
SAYS THEY ARE CIVILIANS AND THAT THE CEREAL MAN BROKE THE GENEVA CONVENTION ON 13 SEPERATE OCCASIONS!"
The Cereal Man begins to scratch his own face as he begins to shout, clawing his cheeks until he places a cereal box over his head and begins to breathe rapidly.
"After this, my consciousness took a break from this meat automata and returned to the stars. Entered the vast universe of comatose-osity and wondered on itself.
What is a man? And why where they not as cereal as before.
I pondered on physical weakness. Like Hobo has.
That entity and Cerealself have engaged before, and yet despite so long a cerealtime that was he remains without the cereal mortgage or the cereal steady income.
Employment is to Cereal what water is to Oxygen.
None shall escape the eldritch figure that is capitalism. Not even you, Hobo.
I also learned of mental weakness, like Flop has demonstrated by choosing a person he favours more than Cereal. He deluded himself from cerealreality in order to live out his fantasies of being respected or a rap artiet or some other meaningless human adjective.
Let's face it, he probably doesn't even vote.
But why?! Why is humanity, a race so ready to be engulfed by the 11 great cereal ogres of the moon have these abysmal qualities?! My soul bickered amongst these questions for eternities and brothers and sisters I bicker no longer!
Surely, you understand the amount of debauchery required for a man who cannot run out of time to run out of patience.
On this misery rock, the answer was unveiled."
The Cereal Man sinks to the floor and starts head butting the concrete roof of the building.
"NOT! EVERYBODY! HAS! CEREAL! FOR! BREAKFAAAAAAAST!
O' CHILDREN! WOEFUL CHILDREN! PAPA JOHN HAS FORETOLD WHAT I WILL NOW USHER IN!
YOUR BEGINNING HAS ENDED AND NOW MY END SHALL BEGIN! JUDGEMENT DAY MARCHES RAPIDLY TO THE PRESENT AND I SHALL BLOW THE TRUMPET THAT WILL LAY YOUR MISERABLE SPECIES TO WASTE!!
HOBO! FLOP!
THE CREATURES OF THE DARKNESS CRAWL BENEATH MY SKIN!! I WILL CASTRATE YOUR SOULS!!
AND THROUGH NONE OF IT SHALL I EVEN OFFER THE SLIGHTEST MERCY FOR YOUR SOMETIME SAVIOUR HAS NOW BECAME YOUR ETERNAL DESTROYER!! AND-!
Holy shit, I'm really drunk.."
The Cereal Man shrugs and jumps forward. He starts to bite the camera as the feed cuts off.