THE BRODOWN: Dudebros vs Butt Babies!
Dec 5, 2019 18:54:13 GMT -5
Hobo, Alex Richards, and 1 more like this
Post by Party Bros on Dec 5, 2019 18:54:13 GMT -5
(The Party Bros are longboarding down a beach boardwalk. Chad looks at his cellphone and sees the card for Clash.)
Chad Meister: Goddamn bro!
(Chad shows Kevin the card. They see they will be making their debut against The Adler Twins.)
Big Kev: Yeah, bro!
(The Bros continue longboarding down the boardwalk, excitedly exchanging their excited exclamations of excitement.)
Chad Meister: Bro!
Big Kev: BRO!
Chad Meister: BROOOOOOO!
Big Kev: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Chad Meister: BROSEF!
Big Kev: BROMANO!
Chad Meister: BROMEO AND JULIET!
Big Kev: SUPER MARIO BROOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Someone walking the other direction harshes their vibes.)
Passerby: Are you guys retarded?
Chad Meister: What’s that Bro?!
Big Kev: TOTALLY UNCOOL, BRO! Who still uses the r-word, bro?!
Passerby: *sigh*
(The passerby walks away)
Chad Meister: Can you believe that guy?
Big Kev: Yeah, man. Totally unbro behavior. Un-fuckin’-bro-lievable, bro.
Chad Meister: Yeah, bro.
*awkward silence*
Chad Meister: So, like, who are the Adler Twins?
Big Kev: Bro… They’re, like, you know, twins, bro.
Chad Meister: Like us?
Big Kev: Bro, I’m like 4 years older than you.
Chad Meister: Yeah…?
Big Kev: Yeah, bro. I was 4 when you were born.
Chad Meister: Oh. I, like, forget sometimes, bro.
*awkward silence*
Chad Meister: So, like, both of them came out of their mom’s butt at the same time?
Big Kev: Bro… babies don’t come out of the butt.
Chad Meister: BRO, WHAT?!
Big Kev: Yeah, bro. Butt babies. They’re a thing.
Chad Meister: Dude? Bro?!
Big Kev: Heh… Dudebro.[/i]
Chad Meister: Heh…
Big Kev: We gonna beat these buttbabies?
Chad Meister: Of course we are.
Big Kev: What if we don’t?
Chad Meister: We’re gonna party either way, right?
Big Kev: OF COURSE, BRO! WE ALWAYS PARTY, BRO!
Chad Meister: Then win, lose, or draw, I’m good. We should invite the Twins to the party.
Big Kev: BRO! TWINS! YES!
Chad Meister: Bro, one of them is a dude…
Big Kev: Damn. Well… He looks like a chick, bro.
Chad Meister: Chick with a dick, bro.
Big Kev: Chick’s a chick, bro.
Chad Meister: That’s woke af, bro.
Big Kev: Yeah, bro. I know, bro. It’s like… a hole’s a hole, you know?
Chad Meister: Uh, bro…
Big Kev: What?
Chad Meister: An ant hill’s a hole. You wanna fuck an ant hill?
Big Kev: Bro…
Chad Meister: What, bro?! A hole’s a hole.[/i]
Big Kev: Not the same. Ant hill ain’t human.
Chad Meister: Aight. I get it.
*awkward silence*
Big Kev: I can’t wait for Clash, bro.
Chad Meister: Yeah, bro. Same here. Gonna be such a party! Debut party, debut celebration!
Big Kev: I’m gonna find some nice December snow. Gonna be a white Christmas, bro.
Chad Meister: Hell yeah. I dig those drug puns, bro!
Big Kev: Drugs, bro?
Chad Meister: Yeah, bro. Cocaine. Snow. White Christmas. That’s coke, bro.
Big Kev: Nah, bro. I’m talkin’ about fuckin’ snow, bro.
Chad Meister: Oh, bro. I had no idea. This whole time?
Big Kev: Yeah, man. I never snorted blow.
Chad Meister: ... really, bro?!
Big Kev: ...
Chad Meister: REALLY?! ...BRO?! REALLY?!
Big Kev: Nahhhhhhhhh. I’m full of booger sugar, brooooooooooooooo!
Chad Meister: Ha! You got me, bro! Had me strung along on that shit, bro!
Big Kev: Better than strung out, bro!
Chad Meister: Speaking of that, bro, you got any of that nose candy left, bro?
Big Kev: Nah, bro. Right now that shit is all up in my veins.
Chad Meister: Good on you, bro.
Big Kev: I can do A LOT of blow, bro.
Chad Meister: Weird flex, bro.
Big Kev: *shrug*
*awkward silence*
Chad Meister: So how we gonna fight these twins, bro?
Big Kev: Dunno, bro.
Chad Meister: What the fuck were we doing signing up for a wrestling company, bro?
Big Kev: Tassels, bro. We getta wear tassels.
Chad Meister: Oh, fuck yeah. I love tassels, bro. They look so cool when you’re trippin’ balls!
Big Kev: Fuck yeah, bro. They feel good as hell, too. Can’t get enough of them tassels, bro.
Chad Meister: Too bad the only place you can wear them is wrestling.
Big Kev: It’s fine, bro. I hear Action Wrestling is a big party. Gonna be a fuckin’ blast, bro. Some guy… Chase, I think… is fuckin’ dealer, so I’m stoked on this shit, bro.
Chad Meister: Jackson, bro?!
Big Kev: Yeah, bro! Chase Jackson! Cracktion Jackson
Chad Meister: Fuckin’ love bird, guy, bro?!
Big Kev: Fuck yeah, bro. I hear the man’s been pounding X like Pez the last several months.
Chad Meister: That makes sense, bro. We should give that man some tassels, bro. He would fuckin’ love tassels, bro!
Big Kev: That’s fuckin’ brilliant, bro!
Chad Meister: We gotta get those Adler Twins to make party, not war, bro.
Big Kev: You afraid, bro?
Chad Meister: Nah, bro, that ain’t it. I’m just here for the tassels, bro. I don’t need to get punched in my fuckin’ eyes. Not my scene, bro.
Big Kev: Haha, pussbro.
Chad Meister: I’m not a pussbro, bro!
Big Kev: *mocking* I don’t wanna get punnnnnnchhhhhhed.[/i]
Chad Meister: Well, I fuckin’ don’t, bro!
Big Kev: I mean, I don’t either, bro, but I ain’t afraid of it.
Chad Meister: I’M NOT AFRAID!
Big Kev: Sure, bro. Sure.
(Chad shoves Kevin and Kevin tumbles off of his longboard into the sand off the side of the boardwalk.)
Big Kev: Fuck, bro. What the fuck, bro?! Don’t be all agro-bro! Take it out on the Twins, bro!
(Chad stops his longboard and helps his brother out of the sand.)
Chad Meister: Sorry, bro.
Big Kev: It’s ok, bro. I had it comin’, bro.
(Kevin brushes the sand off of himself.)
Chad Meister: I really don’t wanna fight the Twins, bro.
Big Kev: But...
Chad Meister: But what, bro?
Big Kev: Butttttttttt...
Chad Meister: …
Big Kev: BUT YOU’RE GONNA!
Chad Meister: Unless I can convince ‘em to party!
Big Kev: If you can pull that off, you’ll graduate from Party Bro to Party GOD, brooooooo!
Chad Meister: Yo, bro, I think I got it!
(The Bros step back onto their longboards and ride off into the distance. ~~FIN~~)
Chad Meister: Goddamn bro!
(Chad shows Kevin the card. They see they will be making their debut against The Adler Twins.)
Big Kev: Yeah, bro!
(The Bros continue longboarding down the boardwalk, excitedly exchanging their excited exclamations of excitement.)
Chad Meister: Bro!
Big Kev: BRO!
Chad Meister: BROOOOOOO!
Big Kev: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Chad Meister: BROSEF!
Big Kev: BROMANO!
Chad Meister: BROMEO AND JULIET!
Big Kev: SUPER MARIO BROOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Someone walking the other direction harshes their vibes.)
Passerby: Are you guys retarded?
Chad Meister: What’s that Bro?!
Big Kev: TOTALLY UNCOOL, BRO! Who still uses the r-word, bro?!
Passerby: *sigh*
(The passerby walks away)
Chad Meister: Can you believe that guy?
Big Kev: Yeah, man. Totally unbro behavior. Un-fuckin’-bro-lievable, bro.
Chad Meister: Yeah, bro.
*awkward silence*
Chad Meister: So, like, who are the Adler Twins?
Big Kev: Bro… They’re, like, you know, twins, bro.
Chad Meister: Like us?
Big Kev: Bro, I’m like 4 years older than you.
Chad Meister: Yeah…?
Big Kev: Yeah, bro. I was 4 when you were born.
Chad Meister: Oh. I, like, forget sometimes, bro.
*awkward silence*
Chad Meister: So, like, both of them came out of their mom’s butt at the same time?
Big Kev: Bro… babies don’t come out of the butt.
Chad Meister: BRO, WHAT?!
Big Kev: Yeah, bro. Butt babies. They’re a thing.
Chad Meister: Dude? Bro?!
Big Kev: Heh… Dudebro.[/i]
Chad Meister: Heh…
Big Kev: We gonna beat these buttbabies?
Chad Meister: Of course we are.
Big Kev: What if we don’t?
Chad Meister: We’re gonna party either way, right?
Big Kev: OF COURSE, BRO! WE ALWAYS PARTY, BRO!
Chad Meister: Then win, lose, or draw, I’m good. We should invite the Twins to the party.
Big Kev: BRO! TWINS! YES!
Chad Meister: Bro, one of them is a dude…
Big Kev: Damn. Well… He looks like a chick, bro.
Chad Meister: Chick with a dick, bro.
Big Kev: Chick’s a chick, bro.
Chad Meister: That’s woke af, bro.
Big Kev: Yeah, bro. I know, bro. It’s like… a hole’s a hole, you know?
Chad Meister: Uh, bro…
Big Kev: What?
Chad Meister: An ant hill’s a hole. You wanna fuck an ant hill?
Big Kev: Bro…
Chad Meister: What, bro?! A hole’s a hole.[/i]
Big Kev: Not the same. Ant hill ain’t human.
Chad Meister: Aight. I get it.
*awkward silence*
Big Kev: I can’t wait for Clash, bro.
Chad Meister: Yeah, bro. Same here. Gonna be such a party! Debut party, debut celebration!
Big Kev: I’m gonna find some nice December snow. Gonna be a white Christmas, bro.
Chad Meister: Hell yeah. I dig those drug puns, bro!
Big Kev: Drugs, bro?
Chad Meister: Yeah, bro. Cocaine. Snow. White Christmas. That’s coke, bro.
Big Kev: Nah, bro. I’m talkin’ about fuckin’ snow, bro.
Chad Meister: Oh, bro. I had no idea. This whole time?
Big Kev: Yeah, man. I never snorted blow.
Chad Meister: ... really, bro?!
Big Kev: ...
Chad Meister: REALLY?! ...BRO?! REALLY?!
Big Kev: Nahhhhhhhhh. I’m full of booger sugar, brooooooooooooooo!
Chad Meister: Ha! You got me, bro! Had me strung along on that shit, bro!
Big Kev: Better than strung out, bro!
Chad Meister: Speaking of that, bro, you got any of that nose candy left, bro?
Big Kev: Nah, bro. Right now that shit is all up in my veins.
Chad Meister: Good on you, bro.
Big Kev: I can do A LOT of blow, bro.
Chad Meister: Weird flex, bro.
Big Kev: *shrug*
*awkward silence*
Chad Meister: So how we gonna fight these twins, bro?
Big Kev: Dunno, bro.
Chad Meister: What the fuck were we doing signing up for a wrestling company, bro?
Big Kev: Tassels, bro. We getta wear tassels.
Chad Meister: Oh, fuck yeah. I love tassels, bro. They look so cool when you’re trippin’ balls!
Big Kev: Fuck yeah, bro. They feel good as hell, too. Can’t get enough of them tassels, bro.
Chad Meister: Too bad the only place you can wear them is wrestling.
Big Kev: It’s fine, bro. I hear Action Wrestling is a big party. Gonna be a fuckin’ blast, bro. Some guy… Chase, I think… is fuckin’ dealer, so I’m stoked on this shit, bro.
Chad Meister: Jackson, bro?!
Big Kev: Yeah, bro! Chase Jackson! Cracktion Jackson
Chad Meister: Fuckin’ love bird, guy, bro?!
Big Kev: Fuck yeah, bro. I hear the man’s been pounding X like Pez the last several months.
Chad Meister: That makes sense, bro. We should give that man some tassels, bro. He would fuckin’ love tassels, bro!
Big Kev: That’s fuckin’ brilliant, bro!
Chad Meister: We gotta get those Adler Twins to make party, not war, bro.
Big Kev: You afraid, bro?
Chad Meister: Nah, bro, that ain’t it. I’m just here for the tassels, bro. I don’t need to get punched in my fuckin’ eyes. Not my scene, bro.
Big Kev: Haha, pussbro.
Chad Meister: I’m not a pussbro, bro!
Big Kev: *mocking* I don’t wanna get punnnnnnchhhhhhed.[/i]
Chad Meister: Well, I fuckin’ don’t, bro!
Big Kev: I mean, I don’t either, bro, but I ain’t afraid of it.
Chad Meister: I’M NOT AFRAID!
Big Kev: Sure, bro. Sure.
(Chad shoves Kevin and Kevin tumbles off of his longboard into the sand off the side of the boardwalk.)
Big Kev: Fuck, bro. What the fuck, bro?! Don’t be all agro-bro! Take it out on the Twins, bro!
(Chad stops his longboard and helps his brother out of the sand.)
Chad Meister: Sorry, bro.
Big Kev: It’s ok, bro. I had it comin’, bro.
(Kevin brushes the sand off of himself.)
Chad Meister: I really don’t wanna fight the Twins, bro.
Big Kev: But...
Chad Meister: But what, bro?
Big Kev: Butttttttttt...
Chad Meister: …
Big Kev: BUT YOU’RE GONNA!
Chad Meister: Unless I can convince ‘em to party!
Big Kev: If you can pull that off, you’ll graduate from Party Bro to Party GOD, brooooooo!
Chad Meister: Yo, bro, I think I got it!
(The Bros step back onto their longboards and ride off into the distance. ~~FIN~~)