Post by Bolas De Arana on Aug 6, 2019 19:37:31 GMT -5
[Welcome to the wonderful apartment of one Bolas de Arana. Inside we see Enrique Seagulliglesias, Bolas pet seagull, sitting on his usual perch munching on some fish. In a lazy boy, with his legs crossed, is none other than Bolas himself]
“Oh hello there. And welcome to OVERLOAD IS BALLS!”
“SQUAWK!”
“I’m sorry, what was that? You know my German is terrible.”
“SQUAWK!”
“Oh. Well that the hell! Listen unknown face behind the computer, make sure you know what your doing before making me look like an unintentional ass!”
[Bolas takes a deep breath, counts down from three with his hand and starts over]
“Greetings my Ballaniacs! It is me, the man that you wish was your personal salsa teacher, your hero, your moms private dancer, dancing for money, Bolas "Squeeze my lemons till the juice runs down my leg" de Arana. And welcome to CLASH IS BALLS! That's right faithful followers, your favorite jackass and world famous ladies man has entered the big A-Dub. And with me as always is the great Mexican Eagle, Enrique Seagulliglesis!”
“SQUAWK!”
“Enrique sends you his blessings, though he did speak German this time, so I am only guessing. Now, onto the familiar business of my future.”
[Bolas grabs a glass mug]
“My magical, umm, mug of the future tells me I have a match with two other cruiser weights to see who is the blessed one to face the champion at a future dance. Hopefully its a salsa, cause I dance a hot salsa.”
[Bolas jumps up and does a little salsa before sitting down]
“Kyle Cameron. O.M.G! What have you been up to? Did you get some ring training finally, cause seriously, your last run in UCI, whew! Now that was a mess. Don’t get me wrong, you did yourself a favor with just being you. But man, I honestly don’t think you knew a headlock from a toehold. Now, I don’t mean to be a jackass…”
“SQUAWK!”
“Shhhh, don’t tell the whole world!”
[Bolas recrosses his legs, all Fatal Attraction style]
“What was I saying? Oh right..I don’t mean to be a jackass, but lets face facts Kyle. You sucked.”
[Bolas shrugs, then gives a two thumbs up, before steepiling his fingers.]
“And then there is the Bastard of the Brotherhood Charlie Sadist. Man, have you let yourself go. I remember watching old tapes of Bishop and there you were, a part of the brotherhood. I think it labeled you as the janitor, but my memory may be off. Or whoever is doing this. So I really don’t know what to say to someone I don’t really know. Ummm, good luck? God Bless? Please pass the gravy?”
[Bolas just two thumbs up it again]
“Action Wrestling fans, prepare to have your mind blown. And that’s about all that's gonna get blown. It’s not all I want blown, but I take what I can get.”
“SQUAWK!”
“How dare you mention Lissie Hope like that. It was one time and that website said those pics were legit!”
“SQUAWK!”
“No I wasn’t looking at the skin tone difference. So yeah, sue me.”
[Bolas jumps up and strikes a matador like pose]
“The hour of Balls is upon you. Prepare to be handed a towel as I sweep up and take the number one contendership home to..”
[Bolas looks around]
“...this apartment I rented in a city that the mind outside the box still has yet to determine”
[Bolas unstrikes his pose]
“Look, I am going to win. I’m the People’s Jackass! And people love me. I think. I hope. Lissie...love me. I mean, errr, strike that last bit your honor as my client is clearly suffering from cobalt stones.”
[Bolas smiles and waves goodbye as the camera fades out]
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Will Bolas capture the Number one contendership for the Cruiserweight title?
Or will he forget where he is wrestling?
And what the hell are cobalt stones?
All this and more when you stay tuned to Action Wrestling!