Post by Alex Richards on May 19, 2019 21:28:48 GMT -5
The normally jolly bar that Alex Richards owns the Drunken Dragon is unusually sombre today. Even the lights are dimmed drawing focus away from the colourful komodo dragons hanging from the ceiling that give the bar it's name. The space is almost empty with the exception of three people, Alex Richards, Rebecca Thatch and Shaun Zach Richards. All three are silently drinking out of boots. There is a businesslike rap on the door. It is ignored. Another rap. Still ignored. The door swings open and a figure steps in. Shaun looks back, notices the man and snarls.
We're closed. Get out!
Zach.. that's no way to treat a guest.
Alex looks back and..
That's no guest. What do you want?
John Stevens clad in another expensive suit and carrying a briefcase flashes a smile.
I'm here to help you.
No you're not.
John grins another shit eating grin.
After I had to spend 5 hours repainting after your visit to head office I'm enjoying this.
You know Alex.. you gave the bouncer the day off.
I didn't hire Dave Manning.
That wasn't what I was getting at.
You could throw his ass out yourself.
That's what I was getting at.
The suit gulps.
That is tempting. And there is a mighty full dumpster behind the bar that could make a good landing place.
You don't want to do that. I'm here to help you.
Alex snorts.
But I am. I see you here.. feeling sorry for yourself and think it might be in your best interests to take your ball and go home. I'm offering you.. an out. An unconditional release.
John mutters under his breathe while pulling out a contract from the briefcase.
With a 8 month no compete clause, a 50 thousand dollar early withdrawal penalty and a return of your signing bonus.
So.. you think I could just retire. Is that it?
John nods, handing Alex the contract and a gold plated pen. Alex looks at the release form.
Things have been going very well for me lately have they? I competed in the Havoc Rumble with a chance to go on to challenge for the world title. I finished seventh. But I still had my WCF world title. But then I lost that last week. And most importantly I vowed revenge on Action Wrestling for the shabby way they treated my friend L Verez releasing her like she was nothing. What exactly what I accomplished in the way of that?
Just sign the contract and it can all be over.
Don't listen to that snake!
What about my scheduled match this week.. against Chris Santiago?
I'll take care of it. You'll forfeit the match and we'll replace you with a suitable opponent.
Well.. let me tell you how I envision this week's upcoming match up going down...
Alex finishes his boot full of Zim-Quila. Rebecca hands with a second one without hesitation. Alex grins.. kisses his girlfriend.. then begins to speak.
Do you really.. really think I would ever forfeit a match to a man like Chris Santiago? Do you think I want a man like him to be able to say they hold a victory over me?
He could beat you legitimately in a match that would be worse.
Alex looks at Rebecca.. then at Shaun.. and then all three burst out laughing.
What's so funny?
You really don't have a clue of what I'm capable of do you? The only way Chris could ever claim a victory over me is if I didn't show up. You know who told me that? Chris did. Every single thing he says and does tells me that he's a fraud. That he's a sham. That he's an impostor pretending to be a world class wrestler. I haven't accomplished much in Action Wrestling.. yet... this much is true. But ask Wade Moor how good I am. Because I beat that former world champion. Look at an interview Spencer Adams did before our match at the Brotherhood match.
Alex smiles slightly.
I remember what Spence said about me. That I was a God tier wrestler who was more then capable of giving him a good match up. And we tore the house down that night. Spencer won the match. I'll get back to that later. Just last week I made one of the owners of Action Wrestling Torture take a step back. Legendary, hall of fame ass kicker Torture. I don't like the man but I will give him his due as a legend. I returned to Action Wrestling to challenge Casey Holiday like a gentleman would and I took her to the limit. We competed in the greatest UCI world title match in Action Wrestling history. I was able to return to AW after ten months away and was immediately awarded a title shot and no one batted an eye. That's how fucking good I am. Now Chris Santiago... who the fuck are you?
Alex takes a sip from his boot.
I see you out here every single week desperately mentioning your matches in other promotions. Your titles in other promotions. The people you beat in other promotions. You drone on and on and on about it until you bore everyone to tears. I got news for you Chris. Nobody cares! Nobody knows any of those people. Did I ever tell you about the time I competed in Southside of Chicago Backyard Wrestling?
Rebecca takes her cue.
That's super interesting. Tell me more.
I was only 12 years old but I beat their world champion Sideshow Blob in a table match. The table wasn't supposed to break but I hurled his 240 pound ass through it. You don't think that's impressive but it is when you're 12 damnit!
Thatch: I am so impressed.
You know why you're impressed?
Because I'm your girlfriend and it's my job to act impressed by lame stories?
Alex slams his hand down on the bar top, scaring John.
Exactly right! The only people impressed by Chris's ramblings about his victories elsewhere are his lackeys and flunkies!
Thatch: Are you calling me a lackey? Because if you are we have issues.
Alex holds his hands up in mock surrender.
I was using creative license!
As your brother I call bullshit. I know you never backyard wrestled.
Alex chuckles.
True. I was actually just taking a shot at the level of competition Chris may have faced elsewhere. Wins are wins.. this is true. But in AW it seems to me that Chris is great. When he's facing people like Dark Tiger, Evander Cage, Apex Onyx, Rose, Brooke Bell, or Titan Jax. His legit biggest win was against Nikki Vaughn. At least she earned some tag title matches. Most of Chris's wins have been against the kind of people who didn't even last long enough to COMPETE in the Havoc Rumble. Every time he faces a real star the result is always the same. His opponent with his hand raised in the air. So pardon me if I'm unimpressed about you competing in some federation called Lions Road.. or you won the Shooter's Ball tournament. Shit if I was someone from one of those other feds I'd be pissed that you were making them look like chumps with your poor performance in Action Wrestling so far! You can brag about all the matches you have had all over the world but any real wrestler knows the score. You're a big fish in a small pond. Well Action Wrestling is the ocean and I certainly ain't no small fish so I think you're boned Chris. You're nothing but a con artist and a snake oil salesman. Just like this guy.
Alex jerks his finger in the direction of John Stevens.
Hey! I resent that!
No wonder you're on Santiago's side. You can appreciate a good load of bullshit and Chris certainly offers that. I know you're nothing but a joke Chris because of who you are and how you carry yourself. When I get in the ring this week I'm going to kick Chris's ass but while I'm doing it I'm going to conduct myself like a champion. Because I am a champion. How is Chris going to act? I've seen Chris's matches. He's going to spit at me and curse non-stop like he's Cartman from South Park. Which is basically is because wrestling Chris is like facing a foul mouthed teenager. He probably likes poop jokes too!
You like poop jokes!
So? I like poop jokes.
I love poop jokes! But you don't see me taking a shit on my opponents during the matches by spitting at em do ya? That lack of respect just shows you're immature and you're never going to go very far in wrestling. I may have only won one title in AW, so far, the television title, but look at you Chris. You're been in Action for seven months, longer then I was active. How many titles have you won around here? No wonder you gotta talk up those titles you won elsewhere. You literally did nothing here except disgrace the rest of us wrestlers with your poor conduct.
Just thought I'd point out.. that you spray painted Action Wrestling offices a few weeks ago.
Actually I did that.
Well.. you helped her. Also you literally competed in a fixed match on television!
Yeah.. and in spite of all of things I still feel justified in judging Santiago. That's how literal garbage his behaviour is! How pathetic do you have to do to think you actually have to spit at and cuss out your opponents in order to increase your odds of winning? I mean you know you must suck if you think... literally making an ass of myself is the only way I can increase my odds of winning. You should bring resignation papers to Chris next because a guy like that... that's the guy in need of retirement. Everything I've mentioned so far.. it's more then enough to hate someone. More then enough to motivate me to destroy someone. But that's not even what's really bad about him.
Wait... you're saying he gets worse.
Much worse. Not only does Chris bring shame on wrestling with his poor skills.. he knows he does. I mean look at his actions. Last week he decided to needed to attack Casey Holiday. Now when I want a match I issue a challenge. I get my match. That's what I did last week with Noble Savage. That's what I did when I wanted to face Casey Holiday. But when you wanted a match with Casey what did you do? You attacked her from behind then hit her with her All In Briefcase. What's the matter Chris? You didn't think you could beat her a fair fight? Because you can't. You figured that if you challenged Casey to a match her response might be... just to laugh in your face. Because she damn well could! Shit Chris.. how is it your way of challenging as actually less classy then Nikki Vaughn of all people?
Alex laughs.
You remember that? Back in December.. you were face to face with Nikki. She challenged you to a match and you replied with... " Okay, I'll probably think about it"
Alex laughs louder.
Seriously? You were always a little bitch weren't you Santiago? This is why I have no respect for you. Because you're the kind of guy who wants to seem tough by doing as little fucking work as humanly possible! It's a slap in the face for every real wrestler out here! I worked for a decade before I won the UCI world title.. two years now before I won the legendary WCF World Title. I can bring up those belts because over 50 percent of the roster competed to try and win at least one of them. Seeing the way you carry yourself makes me want to show you how a real wrestler handles their business. I'm going to teach you a lesson this week. I'm going to show you what it really takes to be world champion. Hint.. it's not spitting, swearing, cheap shots or wussing out of challenges. So basically it's nothing that you're good at.
Are you done yet?
No actually. Not even close. There are so many more things that annoy me about Chris. So many more reasons that I'm going to take out my recent frustrations on his hide. Because I will. Make no mistake about it. Every single thing I'm angry about I'm going to take it out on Chris. But fortunately Chris being the person that he is.. I don't have to feel bad about it. Not in the slightest. Which is bad news for Chris. Because if I'm not morally compelled to stop beating him, I'm not going to until I'm satisfied. And that could be a long, long time.
Compelled. You've been using that word of the day calendar.
Damn right I am. Best 2 bucks I ever spent. Makes me sound smart.
You think you sound smart?
Smarter at least. Besides at least I actually sound like a wrestler. Chris can't even accomplish that feat. When you hear my words.. when you hear what I have to say you believe them. You believe me when I say I'm going to hit Santiago with the Sanity Slip so hard his head will bounce off the mat no less then three times before I pin him. You believe that I'm going to knock Chris out cold with the unconscious truth into the ring post. You believe I'm going to knock him clear out of the ring with the |Spiked Samoan Punch. You understand that I'm not even going to use the God Slayer because Chris isn't even a God in his own mind so I don't need that shit! You believe my words because they are credible. They are believable. They are the kind of words I've backed up before. They are the words of a wrestler. Then listen to Chris Santiago speak. Listen to him call everyone jobbers and mid carders and... Dude.. you do not even sound like a real wrestler! You sound like a smart mark on an internet forum! You're probably the kind of guy who still reads Scott Keith and religiously visits 411mania.com. No wonder you keep name dropping all your matches and federations. You're probably hoping they review them or something! You're not a real champion of anything Santiago.. you ain't nothing but a mark for yourself!
He probably actually believes he's being held back like he said when he quit Action Wrestling.
Alex shakes his head.
Nope. See.. I could almost respect that. You gotta have confidence in yourself to succeed in wrestling. But Chris don't even got that. Anyone remember his retirement from Action Wrestling? When he went on television and claimed that Action mistreated people on the roster and forced them to quit. That they mistreated him? The man who literally spits on his opponents... and stole the All In Briefcase that Casey won to use as a weapon against him is complaining of disrespect? That's fucking rich! Almost... unbelievable right? I mean unbelievable as in.. it's not fucking true. Chris didn't leave because he thought he was being mistreated. He did it as an attention ploy. See.. people like Chris.. who aren't good enough to win titles or beat major stars... they gotta do something to get noticed. So for Chris.. fake retirement it was. But even that didn't work. Because no one fucking cared! No one fucking missed him. See.. that's the wrong with being a jackass. Everyone doubts your motives. Everyone sees through your ploys. And surprise.. surprise... in just a few short weeks Chris was back. Just in time to compete in the Havoc Rumble. How transparent you can be? It's sort of impressive though. He actually regresses. Inside the ring he's a teenager who thinks he's a bad ass. Outside of the ring he's an attention seeking toddler! I should set you up with UCI's resident adult baby Adriana Lynch! You guys would make a perfect powerless couple.
Alex shudders.. nobody likes the adult baby.
Now where was I? Chris Santiago came back and it was obvious to everyone including himself he wasn't going to be anymore successful this time then we was any other time in Action Wrestling. So he had a choice. He could get better. I made that choice many years ago and my career took off. But that was too difficult for Chris. So there's another option. He could pick a fight he knew he could win. Face the likes of "The New Jersey Ninja" Richard Dweck and Wrestler X in a ever ending series. But he was afraid he'd lose eventually. Either that or Wrestler X would blow up the ring. So he went with the third option. He said he was "sick"
Rebecca actually does the quotation marks with her fingers as Alex speaks.
Don't worry though. I think I can help you. I'm a doctor so I can get to the bottom of this illness.
Alex reaches behind the counter of the bar and pulls out his ever present old timey doctor's bag.
You are not a doctor!
I got the bag.. it's basically the same thing as having a medical license.
No.. it's not.
Alex ignores John's objections, continues on.
I have carefully researched your disorder in the big book of bitches and I have uncovered some interesting information. It appears you, Chris Santiago, are suffering from acute pussyitis. You may say I'm not a real doctor but I seriously doubt the credentials of your doctors as well. At least I doubt their morals. Maybe they are the kind of doctors who need money to settle their many lawsuits so they accept a pay off from you in order to create this mysterious illness. Because if you were really sick.. why in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there no details? I mean if you got say chicken pox. There are symptoms that make it obvious you got chicken pox. Mainly you got an itchy blister looking rash. But you just got a headache that only smarties can cure.
I wish I had that.
Done!
Alex finishes off his boot of booze, then hits Shaun in the head with the leather footwear.
OWWWW!
Your welcome.
For what? Smacking me in the head?
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag.. pulls out a bag of smarties and give it to his brother who ruefully accepts it.
At least your headache is real. Chris has no headache.. just has a built in excuse every time he loses. Sad thing is.. he probably thinks this is incredibly smart. But in reality he's doing himself no favours. When you lose.. it should be embarrassing. It should be the worst feeling ever. It should make you want to work harder in order to avoid it again. But Chris doesn't work that way. When he loses.. he goes into his own big book.. the big book of excuses. You don't own your losses.. you don't win the re matches. You don't get better. Yeah.. Bishop beat me twice. But I won the television title from him the third time. Yeah.. Bishop doesn't have the greatest record ever. But he's a three time television champion and has a win over Gravedigger. As far as I'm concerned losing to Bishop is a hell of a lot less embarrassing then losing to Santiago. At least Bishop worked for everything he got. Chris just tries to take short cuts and make excuses. Havel Overton and Claire Hawkins have held titles.. how come you got none here? Ohh... right... that little headache. That's clearly why you never captured a title in AW. Wait.. you only started using that excuse recently.. my bad. I guess it's really just.. that you're... not....that...good. There have been 6 UCI Champions... 16 201 and Fun Champions.... 5 tag team champions.....18 Television champions... 6 United States Champions.... and 7 world champions. There has been 58 champions in Action history. How is it not a single one of them were you Chris? No wonder you brag about the titles you won elsewhere... no wonder you fake an injury! You aren't just feeling inferior... you freaking are inferior!
I think he's had enough. I'm starting to feel bad for Chris Santiago of all people.
Alex beams at Rebecca
Normally I'd agree with you Becky. But in this case Chris deserves every single insult. Just like he will deserve every single blow in the ring on Monday. See... I could have given you the benefit of the doubt. At least on some of these facts. Except for one final despicable act. The night you returned to Action Wrestling. When you assaulted Professor Coach. Now attacks happen in wrestling. Although I don't really see the point of attacking a prelim wrestler with a kendo stick myself. But you took things to a new low. First off you kidnapped Professor Coach. Then later you posted images of him beaten half to death on Twitter mocking him.. saying he was a poor sparring partner. That's crossing the line. Professor Coach is a shitty prelimary wrestler. Someone you would call a jobber. But that doesn't give you the right to try and end his career outside of the ring on a whim. As far as I'm concerned you should be in jail for that stunt. Or worse. If you're actually sick that's probably the karma you earned for what you did to Coach. To me that just proves you're a bully and a coward. You want a sparring partner? I'll always available. But you won't like the results trust me. But already knew that. So you kidnapped someone who couldn't fight back in order to make what you thought was a statement. Only problem is that statement is the same statement you made your entire career. That you're a weak man who looks tough against overmatched opponents but folds when faced with a real threat. It's going to be no different this week trust me. I'm a big man but I don't like bullies and I hate cowards. So I'm going to impart all of that anger on you. But considering I am a doctor I'll do you one solid and cure your so called sickness.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag.. looks around and finally pulls out two tennis balls which he places on the counter.
Take two of these and call me in the morning. It'll be the first time in your life you ever grew a pair that's for sure. Now how about one for the road?
Alex winks at Shaun. His brother then quickly mixes up a boot...
No Zim-Quila.. I figure you're only worth Old English.
Good call. We actually had that crap here though?
Alex shrugs.. takes the release form.. balls it up and drops it into the boot before handing it off to John Stevens.
The fact that I haven't accomplished my goals yet... in three weeks.. does not mean I'm giving up on them. It just means it's gonna be all that sweeter when I do. What you don't realize.. what Chris don't realize.. what every silver spoon motherfucker don't realize.. nothing worth having comes easy. I am willing to put the work in. A victory this week. It's going to set the tone. It's going to help set things in motion. It's going to remind people of just what Alex Richards can do. See.. some people don't know. Chris didn't know. He will after Monday. He's not going to be the last to learn about the King of Mass Confusion. L will have her vengeance. I will have my vengeance. The Guardians may never rise again.. but Alex Richards will. Now... hit the bricks.
John grabs the drink and quickly departs leaving the scene to fade to black.
We're closed. Get out!
Zach.. that's no way to treat a guest.
Alex looks back and..
That's no guest. What do you want?
John Stevens clad in another expensive suit and carrying a briefcase flashes a smile.
I'm here to help you.
No you're not.
John grins another shit eating grin.
After I had to spend 5 hours repainting after your visit to head office I'm enjoying this.
You know Alex.. you gave the bouncer the day off.
I didn't hire Dave Manning.
That wasn't what I was getting at.
You could throw his ass out yourself.
That's what I was getting at.
The suit gulps.
That is tempting. And there is a mighty full dumpster behind the bar that could make a good landing place.
You don't want to do that. I'm here to help you.
Alex snorts.
But I am. I see you here.. feeling sorry for yourself and think it might be in your best interests to take your ball and go home. I'm offering you.. an out. An unconditional release.
John mutters under his breathe while pulling out a contract from the briefcase.
With a 8 month no compete clause, a 50 thousand dollar early withdrawal penalty and a return of your signing bonus.
So.. you think I could just retire. Is that it?
John nods, handing Alex the contract and a gold plated pen. Alex looks at the release form.
Things have been going very well for me lately have they? I competed in the Havoc Rumble with a chance to go on to challenge for the world title. I finished seventh. But I still had my WCF world title. But then I lost that last week. And most importantly I vowed revenge on Action Wrestling for the shabby way they treated my friend L Verez releasing her like she was nothing. What exactly what I accomplished in the way of that?
Just sign the contract and it can all be over.
Don't listen to that snake!
What about my scheduled match this week.. against Chris Santiago?
I'll take care of it. You'll forfeit the match and we'll replace you with a suitable opponent.
Well.. let me tell you how I envision this week's upcoming match up going down...
Alex finishes his boot full of Zim-Quila. Rebecca hands with a second one without hesitation. Alex grins.. kisses his girlfriend.. then begins to speak.
Do you really.. really think I would ever forfeit a match to a man like Chris Santiago? Do you think I want a man like him to be able to say they hold a victory over me?
He could beat you legitimately in a match that would be worse.
Alex looks at Rebecca.. then at Shaun.. and then all three burst out laughing.
What's so funny?
You really don't have a clue of what I'm capable of do you? The only way Chris could ever claim a victory over me is if I didn't show up. You know who told me that? Chris did. Every single thing he says and does tells me that he's a fraud. That he's a sham. That he's an impostor pretending to be a world class wrestler. I haven't accomplished much in Action Wrestling.. yet... this much is true. But ask Wade Moor how good I am. Because I beat that former world champion. Look at an interview Spencer Adams did before our match at the Brotherhood match.
Alex smiles slightly.
I remember what Spence said about me. That I was a God tier wrestler who was more then capable of giving him a good match up. And we tore the house down that night. Spencer won the match. I'll get back to that later. Just last week I made one of the owners of Action Wrestling Torture take a step back. Legendary, hall of fame ass kicker Torture. I don't like the man but I will give him his due as a legend. I returned to Action Wrestling to challenge Casey Holiday like a gentleman would and I took her to the limit. We competed in the greatest UCI world title match in Action Wrestling history. I was able to return to AW after ten months away and was immediately awarded a title shot and no one batted an eye. That's how fucking good I am. Now Chris Santiago... who the fuck are you?
Alex takes a sip from his boot.
I see you out here every single week desperately mentioning your matches in other promotions. Your titles in other promotions. The people you beat in other promotions. You drone on and on and on about it until you bore everyone to tears. I got news for you Chris. Nobody cares! Nobody knows any of those people. Did I ever tell you about the time I competed in Southside of Chicago Backyard Wrestling?
Rebecca takes her cue.
That's super interesting. Tell me more.
I was only 12 years old but I beat their world champion Sideshow Blob in a table match. The table wasn't supposed to break but I hurled his 240 pound ass through it. You don't think that's impressive but it is when you're 12 damnit!
Thatch: I am so impressed.
You know why you're impressed?
Because I'm your girlfriend and it's my job to act impressed by lame stories?
Alex slams his hand down on the bar top, scaring John.
Exactly right! The only people impressed by Chris's ramblings about his victories elsewhere are his lackeys and flunkies!
Thatch: Are you calling me a lackey? Because if you are we have issues.
Alex holds his hands up in mock surrender.
I was using creative license!
As your brother I call bullshit. I know you never backyard wrestled.
Alex chuckles.
True. I was actually just taking a shot at the level of competition Chris may have faced elsewhere. Wins are wins.. this is true. But in AW it seems to me that Chris is great. When he's facing people like Dark Tiger, Evander Cage, Apex Onyx, Rose, Brooke Bell, or Titan Jax. His legit biggest win was against Nikki Vaughn. At least she earned some tag title matches. Most of Chris's wins have been against the kind of people who didn't even last long enough to COMPETE in the Havoc Rumble. Every time he faces a real star the result is always the same. His opponent with his hand raised in the air. So pardon me if I'm unimpressed about you competing in some federation called Lions Road.. or you won the Shooter's Ball tournament. Shit if I was someone from one of those other feds I'd be pissed that you were making them look like chumps with your poor performance in Action Wrestling so far! You can brag about all the matches you have had all over the world but any real wrestler knows the score. You're a big fish in a small pond. Well Action Wrestling is the ocean and I certainly ain't no small fish so I think you're boned Chris. You're nothing but a con artist and a snake oil salesman. Just like this guy.
Alex jerks his finger in the direction of John Stevens.
Hey! I resent that!
No wonder you're on Santiago's side. You can appreciate a good load of bullshit and Chris certainly offers that. I know you're nothing but a joke Chris because of who you are and how you carry yourself. When I get in the ring this week I'm going to kick Chris's ass but while I'm doing it I'm going to conduct myself like a champion. Because I am a champion. How is Chris going to act? I've seen Chris's matches. He's going to spit at me and curse non-stop like he's Cartman from South Park. Which is basically is because wrestling Chris is like facing a foul mouthed teenager. He probably likes poop jokes too!
You like poop jokes!
So? I like poop jokes.
I love poop jokes! But you don't see me taking a shit on my opponents during the matches by spitting at em do ya? That lack of respect just shows you're immature and you're never going to go very far in wrestling. I may have only won one title in AW, so far, the television title, but look at you Chris. You're been in Action for seven months, longer then I was active. How many titles have you won around here? No wonder you gotta talk up those titles you won elsewhere. You literally did nothing here except disgrace the rest of us wrestlers with your poor conduct.
Just thought I'd point out.. that you spray painted Action Wrestling offices a few weeks ago.
Actually I did that.
Well.. you helped her. Also you literally competed in a fixed match on television!
Yeah.. and in spite of all of things I still feel justified in judging Santiago. That's how literal garbage his behaviour is! How pathetic do you have to do to think you actually have to spit at and cuss out your opponents in order to increase your odds of winning? I mean you know you must suck if you think... literally making an ass of myself is the only way I can increase my odds of winning. You should bring resignation papers to Chris next because a guy like that... that's the guy in need of retirement. Everything I've mentioned so far.. it's more then enough to hate someone. More then enough to motivate me to destroy someone. But that's not even what's really bad about him.
Wait... you're saying he gets worse.
Much worse. Not only does Chris bring shame on wrestling with his poor skills.. he knows he does. I mean look at his actions. Last week he decided to needed to attack Casey Holiday. Now when I want a match I issue a challenge. I get my match. That's what I did last week with Noble Savage. That's what I did when I wanted to face Casey Holiday. But when you wanted a match with Casey what did you do? You attacked her from behind then hit her with her All In Briefcase. What's the matter Chris? You didn't think you could beat her a fair fight? Because you can't. You figured that if you challenged Casey to a match her response might be... just to laugh in your face. Because she damn well could! Shit Chris.. how is it your way of challenging as actually less classy then Nikki Vaughn of all people?
Alex laughs.
You remember that? Back in December.. you were face to face with Nikki. She challenged you to a match and you replied with... " Okay, I'll probably think about it"
Alex laughs louder.
Seriously? You were always a little bitch weren't you Santiago? This is why I have no respect for you. Because you're the kind of guy who wants to seem tough by doing as little fucking work as humanly possible! It's a slap in the face for every real wrestler out here! I worked for a decade before I won the UCI world title.. two years now before I won the legendary WCF World Title. I can bring up those belts because over 50 percent of the roster competed to try and win at least one of them. Seeing the way you carry yourself makes me want to show you how a real wrestler handles their business. I'm going to teach you a lesson this week. I'm going to show you what it really takes to be world champion. Hint.. it's not spitting, swearing, cheap shots or wussing out of challenges. So basically it's nothing that you're good at.
Are you done yet?
No actually. Not even close. There are so many more things that annoy me about Chris. So many more reasons that I'm going to take out my recent frustrations on his hide. Because I will. Make no mistake about it. Every single thing I'm angry about I'm going to take it out on Chris. But fortunately Chris being the person that he is.. I don't have to feel bad about it. Not in the slightest. Which is bad news for Chris. Because if I'm not morally compelled to stop beating him, I'm not going to until I'm satisfied. And that could be a long, long time.
Compelled. You've been using that word of the day calendar.
Damn right I am. Best 2 bucks I ever spent. Makes me sound smart.
You think you sound smart?
Smarter at least. Besides at least I actually sound like a wrestler. Chris can't even accomplish that feat. When you hear my words.. when you hear what I have to say you believe them. You believe me when I say I'm going to hit Santiago with the Sanity Slip so hard his head will bounce off the mat no less then three times before I pin him. You believe that I'm going to knock Chris out cold with the unconscious truth into the ring post. You believe I'm going to knock him clear out of the ring with the |Spiked Samoan Punch. You understand that I'm not even going to use the God Slayer because Chris isn't even a God in his own mind so I don't need that shit! You believe my words because they are credible. They are believable. They are the kind of words I've backed up before. They are the words of a wrestler. Then listen to Chris Santiago speak. Listen to him call everyone jobbers and mid carders and... Dude.. you do not even sound like a real wrestler! You sound like a smart mark on an internet forum! You're probably the kind of guy who still reads Scott Keith and religiously visits 411mania.com. No wonder you keep name dropping all your matches and federations. You're probably hoping they review them or something! You're not a real champion of anything Santiago.. you ain't nothing but a mark for yourself!
He probably actually believes he's being held back like he said when he quit Action Wrestling.
Alex shakes his head.
Nope. See.. I could almost respect that. You gotta have confidence in yourself to succeed in wrestling. But Chris don't even got that. Anyone remember his retirement from Action Wrestling? When he went on television and claimed that Action mistreated people on the roster and forced them to quit. That they mistreated him? The man who literally spits on his opponents... and stole the All In Briefcase that Casey won to use as a weapon against him is complaining of disrespect? That's fucking rich! Almost... unbelievable right? I mean unbelievable as in.. it's not fucking true. Chris didn't leave because he thought he was being mistreated. He did it as an attention ploy. See.. people like Chris.. who aren't good enough to win titles or beat major stars... they gotta do something to get noticed. So for Chris.. fake retirement it was. But even that didn't work. Because no one fucking cared! No one fucking missed him. See.. that's the wrong with being a jackass. Everyone doubts your motives. Everyone sees through your ploys. And surprise.. surprise... in just a few short weeks Chris was back. Just in time to compete in the Havoc Rumble. How transparent you can be? It's sort of impressive though. He actually regresses. Inside the ring he's a teenager who thinks he's a bad ass. Outside of the ring he's an attention seeking toddler! I should set you up with UCI's resident adult baby Adriana Lynch! You guys would make a perfect powerless couple.
Alex shudders.. nobody likes the adult baby.
Now where was I? Chris Santiago came back and it was obvious to everyone including himself he wasn't going to be anymore successful this time then we was any other time in Action Wrestling. So he had a choice. He could get better. I made that choice many years ago and my career took off. But that was too difficult for Chris. So there's another option. He could pick a fight he knew he could win. Face the likes of "The New Jersey Ninja" Richard Dweck and Wrestler X in a ever ending series. But he was afraid he'd lose eventually. Either that or Wrestler X would blow up the ring. So he went with the third option. He said he was "sick"
Rebecca actually does the quotation marks with her fingers as Alex speaks.
Don't worry though. I think I can help you. I'm a doctor so I can get to the bottom of this illness.
Alex reaches behind the counter of the bar and pulls out his ever present old timey doctor's bag.
You are not a doctor!
I got the bag.. it's basically the same thing as having a medical license.
No.. it's not.
Alex ignores John's objections, continues on.
I have carefully researched your disorder in the big book of bitches and I have uncovered some interesting information. It appears you, Chris Santiago, are suffering from acute pussyitis. You may say I'm not a real doctor but I seriously doubt the credentials of your doctors as well. At least I doubt their morals. Maybe they are the kind of doctors who need money to settle their many lawsuits so they accept a pay off from you in order to create this mysterious illness. Because if you were really sick.. why in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there no details? I mean if you got say chicken pox. There are symptoms that make it obvious you got chicken pox. Mainly you got an itchy blister looking rash. But you just got a headache that only smarties can cure.
I wish I had that.
Done!
Alex finishes off his boot of booze, then hits Shaun in the head with the leather footwear.
OWWWW!
Your welcome.
For what? Smacking me in the head?
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag.. pulls out a bag of smarties and give it to his brother who ruefully accepts it.
At least your headache is real. Chris has no headache.. just has a built in excuse every time he loses. Sad thing is.. he probably thinks this is incredibly smart. But in reality he's doing himself no favours. When you lose.. it should be embarrassing. It should be the worst feeling ever. It should make you want to work harder in order to avoid it again. But Chris doesn't work that way. When he loses.. he goes into his own big book.. the big book of excuses. You don't own your losses.. you don't win the re matches. You don't get better. Yeah.. Bishop beat me twice. But I won the television title from him the third time. Yeah.. Bishop doesn't have the greatest record ever. But he's a three time television champion and has a win over Gravedigger. As far as I'm concerned losing to Bishop is a hell of a lot less embarrassing then losing to Santiago. At least Bishop worked for everything he got. Chris just tries to take short cuts and make excuses. Havel Overton and Claire Hawkins have held titles.. how come you got none here? Ohh... right... that little headache. That's clearly why you never captured a title in AW. Wait.. you only started using that excuse recently.. my bad. I guess it's really just.. that you're... not....that...good. There have been 6 UCI Champions... 16 201 and Fun Champions.... 5 tag team champions.....18 Television champions... 6 United States Champions.... and 7 world champions. There has been 58 champions in Action history. How is it not a single one of them were you Chris? No wonder you brag about the titles you won elsewhere... no wonder you fake an injury! You aren't just feeling inferior... you freaking are inferior!
I think he's had enough. I'm starting to feel bad for Chris Santiago of all people.
Alex beams at Rebecca
Normally I'd agree with you Becky. But in this case Chris deserves every single insult. Just like he will deserve every single blow in the ring on Monday. See... I could have given you the benefit of the doubt. At least on some of these facts. Except for one final despicable act. The night you returned to Action Wrestling. When you assaulted Professor Coach. Now attacks happen in wrestling. Although I don't really see the point of attacking a prelim wrestler with a kendo stick myself. But you took things to a new low. First off you kidnapped Professor Coach. Then later you posted images of him beaten half to death on Twitter mocking him.. saying he was a poor sparring partner. That's crossing the line. Professor Coach is a shitty prelimary wrestler. Someone you would call a jobber. But that doesn't give you the right to try and end his career outside of the ring on a whim. As far as I'm concerned you should be in jail for that stunt. Or worse. If you're actually sick that's probably the karma you earned for what you did to Coach. To me that just proves you're a bully and a coward. You want a sparring partner? I'll always available. But you won't like the results trust me. But already knew that. So you kidnapped someone who couldn't fight back in order to make what you thought was a statement. Only problem is that statement is the same statement you made your entire career. That you're a weak man who looks tough against overmatched opponents but folds when faced with a real threat. It's going to be no different this week trust me. I'm a big man but I don't like bullies and I hate cowards. So I'm going to impart all of that anger on you. But considering I am a doctor I'll do you one solid and cure your so called sickness.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag.. looks around and finally pulls out two tennis balls which he places on the counter.
Take two of these and call me in the morning. It'll be the first time in your life you ever grew a pair that's for sure. Now how about one for the road?
Alex winks at Shaun. His brother then quickly mixes up a boot...
No Zim-Quila.. I figure you're only worth Old English.
Good call. We actually had that crap here though?
Alex shrugs.. takes the release form.. balls it up and drops it into the boot before handing it off to John Stevens.
The fact that I haven't accomplished my goals yet... in three weeks.. does not mean I'm giving up on them. It just means it's gonna be all that sweeter when I do. What you don't realize.. what Chris don't realize.. what every silver spoon motherfucker don't realize.. nothing worth having comes easy. I am willing to put the work in. A victory this week. It's going to set the tone. It's going to help set things in motion. It's going to remind people of just what Alex Richards can do. See.. some people don't know. Chris didn't know. He will after Monday. He's not going to be the last to learn about the King of Mass Confusion. L will have her vengeance. I will have my vengeance. The Guardians may never rise again.. but Alex Richards will. Now... hit the bricks.
John grabs the drink and quickly departs leaving the scene to fade to black.