My World is an Ashtray

And I don't want you and I don't need you
Don't bother to resist, or I'll beat you
It's not your fault that you're always wrong
The weak ones are there to justify the strong

Marilyn Manson; The Beautiful People

May 13, 2019
Backstage at Homer Simpson Center, Springfield, Illinois
A Night after Casey Holliday’s match

---

A smile was the new feature on Chris Santiago’s face when he entered back to his locker room after his brutal assault against Casey Holliday. However, that grin he showed wasn’t typical like it used for everyday conversation. But it was something sinister, something dark that stemmed to Santiago’s heart. Or could it be that he was on the phase? No one could tell but him.

As Santiago walked along the industrial theme of the Action Wrestling’s backstage, he met with four of his traveling companions. There was Max Eldritch who seemed to be surprised by Santiago’s shocking antics in the show. Another was Black Onyx who knew him very well since they were both tag team two years ago. The rest were Marina, the new member of Chris’ team and little Angelina. Both were like lost their innocence after they witnessed Santiago’s ploy.

Santiago looked at little Angelina pulling his trousers. “Chris, why do you do that?”

At that point, Santiago became speechless. Sure, he was hesitant to answer the little girl’s question because she was too young to understand. However, he lost for words. Chris did have some possible explanations on his mind. But none of those were valid.

Santiago gave up and had no choice but to put rub the little girl’s yellow hair. He patted at Max’s right shoulder and smiled at Marina with politeness. When it comes to both him and Onyx, there were no words exchange but staredowns. No verbal communication was needed, but the body language was enough. Besides, they do have a history of each other.

Santiago finally walked away from the group, leaving them in confusion. Something told them that he conducted himself as a cold psychopath, but no one knows for sure.

Meanwhile, Santiago proceeded in haste to his locker room with his mood shifted into stern as he has something in his mind that connects to his attack against Casey Holliday.

Angel Lina.

May 15, 2019
A Local Hotel in Osaka, Japan
4:45 pm

---

They finished the shooting of Santiago’s promo for his match at Osaka, and now the group was free time. Black Onyx, Angelina and Marina were eager to explore the great city of Osaka. They left Santiago and Eldritch on the scene. Lolo Tasyo, Isidra, and Paco were absent because they went back to the Philippines for the National Election. Santiago tweeted about it and said they would reunite on 21st.

Eldritch worked in his laptop to polish the promo they’re about to upload. His job contributes to Santiago’s promo videos in Action Wrestling. He could be a perfect manager or a mouthpiece for the Filipino boy one day.

In the middle of his task, he glanced at Santiago, holding both of his knees, while sitting on his bed. He stared down at the blanket sheet of the bed blankly. It was like he carried some deep thoughts that no one could decipher. Could be Casey Holliday, the one Santiago attacked? Could it be his defeat against Takeuchi for the title affirming that his tournament win went for nothing? Or could it be his upcoming match against Edwards at Osaka in a chance to reclaim his Jr. Heavyweight Championship back?

That made Eldritch perplexed, so he ceased from his task and went towards Santiago to check on him. “Hey, you alright?”

Santiago was startled from Max’s approached. He shouldn't have to think much for a long time. Trying to hide his inner woes, he answered, “Nothing.”

Eldritch watched Santiago resumed his fetal position, but he was eager to know his inconvenience. After all, he was his traveling companion, and his younger sister, Serena was Chris’ close friend. So he kept on talking. “Well, you seemed that you have something that bothers you.”

“…”

“Was it Holliday?”

“…”

“Well?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s the second time you never talk about her.” Max was stating facts there. Santiago’s promo for Action Wrestling’s Havoc Rumble never mentioned about the AW Prodigy. Some viewed might speculate it was out of fear that he might win this. But it was dismissed thanks to Santiago’s attack on Holliday. Speaking of an assault, “By the way, why did you attack her?”

A third but a long silence replied to the Englishman. Max sighed then he sat down on the bed while still determined to unravel Santiago’s mind.

“So, Action Wrestling announced your match for the upcoming show. You’ll be facing Alex Richards.”

Santiago sighed in somewhat a melancholic manner. “Great.”

“Hm, I heard that Richards became the WCF World Heavyweight Champion recently.”

“Awesome, another wrestler who can destroy me in public!” Chris uttered expressing a leak of frustration while he felt a load of stress that gave him a heavy burden.

Santiago’s vexation astonished Max, but it gave him a hint that the Englishman needed. Now Max kept going by asking with concern, “How can you say that to yourself?”

“Look, I failed to beat Takeuchi for the title after that disrespect I gave to him. What credibility do I have left to defeat against Edwards for the Jr. Heavyweight Title but mostly Richards at Monday Night Clash?”

Max found out that Santiago began to develop self-doubt. He encouraged him, “Well I saw your great performance in the Shooter Ball Tournament then again in the Heritage Cup after you faced Edwards in the finals. See, you can beat him again for the title then Richards after.”

Usually, Santiago’s accomplishment would cheer him up. But Chris hissed, “That was before I got this FUCKING ILLNESS.” He glanced at both of his heads and reviewed how he had become. “I failed to channel it when I faced TFK and Shadowlove in a Triple Threat Match, and now Takeuchi. Now everyone was convinced that I’m a broken man beyond repair.”

Max forgot about it. Max thought that Chris reached full recovery and can train harder for his big matches. But it seemed that Santiago wasn’t convinced. “But Chris, you’re not a broken man.”

“BUT HOW?” Santiago gave Eldritch a sharp look. “Are you a doctor that can tell how well I am? Are you EVEN A GOD that can assure me that I’M DOING GREAT?”

The tension got too intense for both of them. It sounded like Santiago wanted to fight with the Englishman. Plus, the words coming from the Filipino boy was too absurd. However, Max was too old for this. He was more matured than Chris. He tried to help him, but for now, it was impossible. Max needed to clear the air from this intense scene. So he picked up the laptop and continued his work elsewhere. Santiago got the hint, so he sunk his head in his fetal position.

Eldritch reached the knob and looked back at Chris. He discerned that Santiago needed someone’s help or support. It seemed that it melted his bitterness towards him. So he approached him once again, “Chris.”

“Leave me alone.” Chris requested with mild but sadder tone.

Max shook his head, “I understand.”

Max approached the door, swung it open with his laptop that he clung onto his arm, and glanced Chris one last time. He showed that his brief anger towards him became pity. But he had nothing to do to help him. Eldritch finally closed the door gently, leaving Chris undisturbed.

While Max worked with Santiago’s promo, the girls had a great time exploring the great places in Osaka. Despite all that, Santiago wasn’t feeling great. It was the opposite. He felt worse!

You had all of them on your side didn't you?
You believe in all your lies didn't you?

Nine Inch Nails; Ruiner

I remember…

A young man walked towards a phonograph and placed a vinyl record on the turntable. And the music played as the young man put down the album cover and jumped into the bed. He appeared to be Chris Santiago in his age of 20. He found solitude at the dusty and abandoned bedroom adorned with cobwebs. It seemed that no one lived in this house except for him. Or maybe there’s the other?

A woman entered the room, and she looked at Santiago down where he laid on the bed. Chris looked at her, and he was happy to see her. The woman’s skin attracted him the most. It was so delicate and as beautiful as pink snow. Her short black hair was a beauty for him. A mundane nightdress she wore didn’t bother him for there was something else Chris adored.

“Fione.”


“I’m surprised that you’ve won that Nova Championship from a man named Carnage. And I thought you’re about to die.” Fione said with concern for Santiago’s well-being. She embraced Santiago’s arm while they both rest on a bed.

That sounded ludicrous to Santiago. “Do you honestly think that a gash on the forehead would kill me? I didn’t become a champion for nothing,” he said with pride.

Fione wasn’t impressed with Santiago’s answer, “Stop joking. You’re making me worried.” As she expressed those words, she clung his arm tight. The eighteen-year-old woman displayed some agitation, knowing that Santiago entered a dangerous sport.

Santiago acknowledged it, so he caressed Fione’s gentle face. “It’s fine… it’s going to be fine.”

Fione then moved her arms and legs and wrapped around him. Her body pressed on his right side, and her cheek rubbed against it. Santiago’s face began to color with red. Then he sensed Fione’s heartbeat pounding. He never felt that warmth given to a woman. He never experienced sleeping with a woman except for his mom when he was little. He didn’t have a clear definition of sex in his bed. And Fione also. Those two lovers were innocent and pure to understand the corrupted minds of the teenagers filled with hedonism.

They were happy to be under the same roof alone. The symphony from the record player sang as if it was a sweet lullaby to both innocent lovers. They would soon fall into a slumber.

“Chris, can we spent another day like this together forever?” Fione asked in her sleepy voice.

Chris hummed about it and responded, “Yes.”




May 19, 2019
The Outskirts of Roscoe, Oklahoma City
4:00 pm

---

“I think we need to discuss the Chris situation.” Max Eldritch said to Black Onyx while embracing Angelina with both of her arms.

“Why? What’s up with him?” Black Onyx seemed to be unaware of it. Angelina looked up on Black Onyx’s face as what a curious little child would do. Meanwhile, Marina went towards the door of a storage truck and tried to open it. However, it was locked hinting that someone was inside all along. She knocked on the metal surface.

“Chris, andyan ka ba pa? Pinagluluto kita ng pagkain.” (Chris, are you there? I just cooked your lunch for you.) Marina informed through its metallic walls.

Max Eldritch looked at the Filipina and told her, “Sorry Marina, but Chris won’t come out there. Right now, he’s stubborn as an ox.”

“Oh…,” Marina uttered. She was confused at that point, knowing what to do with the dish that she prepared for him. Perhaps it would be best to leave it on the metallic steps hoping that Chris would pick it up in case he was hungry, though the taste quality would decrease once it got colder.

As Marina placed the food near the doorstep, she joined in with Max Eldritch and Black Onyx for their discourse. Onyx went on to continue their conversation, “What happened?”

Max Eldritch answered, “I don’t know. He used to pump up with big matches like title matches against Hanako Takeuchi and James Edwards, and also his MMA fight against Jakko Wirman. Now he felt little off like he was not himself.”

Black Onyx answered with a nod. Eldritch continued, “I tried to ask him about his assault to Holliday. But he didn’t like to talk about it.”

“I think it started to put some pieces together,” Onyx responded.

Max Eldritch gave Onyx a bewildered look while Marina asked, “What do you mean?”

“Classic Chris,” Onyx answered. “I saw it back when Chris and I were a tag team. He used to get jealous of competitors like Cassius Reed and Angel Lina.”

“Who were they?” Marina queried.

“Cassius Reed was Chris’ opponent in the Passion of the Juniors cup finals. He was so close on beating against him, but Reed came out as a winner. Since then, he participated in tournaments to catch up with him. Reed only had three tournaments wins: 2017 Iron King then 2018 Rey del Aire. Same goes with Angel Lina for she did beat him in the MWA World Title tournament match.”

Max tried to catch up with Onyx’s explanation. “So you’re saying that Chris was utterly jealous at Holliday. So that’s why Chris attacked her.”

“Could be…”

That infamous past of Chris Santiago astonished Marina. She thought that he was a nice guy since he defended her from the disgrace back in Salem, Utah. She hoped that there was something more to it.

“Well everyone demanded an explanation regarding the incident. And I don’t know whether Chris will speak up for it. Looks like he’s going to seclude himself away from us. Plus, the Action Wrestling executives needed a promo for his upcoming match.” Max Eldritch briefed the current situation.

Everyone but Angelina brainstormed for a solution. That was until Onyx sighed in disappointment. “I guess we should act as his spokesperson from now on.”

That made Eldritch rose his head. “Do you think that would work?”

“Well look at Shinjiro Nakama. He was a man of few words and faced Chris one time. In his promo, he let his manager, Arnold Cunningham do the talking for him. “The Mountain” Nakama displayed great athleticism in the ring and became undefeated in a singles competition ever since.”

Max did remember the time when Chris faced Nakama in a singles match for the Royal Road Championship. Twenty-five minutes of exchanging finishers and strikes, Nakama still prevailed after he evaded Santiago’s Artikulo Uno then hit him with a knee strike followed by a German Suplex. What was interesting about “The Mountain” is that he was a great wrestler overall. Nakama got Arnold Cunningham who cut a great promo while "The Mountain" displayed his excellence in the ring. With that in mind, Max replied, “I guess we should be his mouthpiece from now on.”

“That is until Chris came out from his shell,” Onyx asserted.

Meanwhile, Marina glanced at the dish she had prepared for Santiago. It’s getting cold.

[ON-CAMERA]
7:45 pm

---

The video started with Santiago’s same old fashion when cutting his promo. Wait a sec, Chris Santiago wasn’t there but only two unfamiliar faces in the eyes of his viewer.

“As you can see, Chris is busy with his training for the Monday Night Clash against Alex Richards.”

The man on the right noticed something.

“Oh! My apologies. We haven’t introduced ourselves yet. My name is Maximillian, Chris Santiago’s manager. I’m the one who trains him some classic catch wrestling moves.”

“And I’m Black Onyx, Chris’s sparring partner, training his strikes and submissions.”

Max nodded and turned back to face the camera. “We’re going to give our thoughts on Santiago’s upcoming match against Alex Richards.”

Okay, so Max and Onyx sat on the chair while facing the camera. The first thing they address was their thoughts on Chris’s last match at Action Wrestling.

“You all see Santiago performed in Toyota Center. You witnessed how he reversed Santiago’s Irish Whip and hit him with the Bicycle Knee then TFK with Spinning Heel Kick. You awed when Santiago executed the Lifting Underhook DDT on TFK and wrapped with the Kimura Lock. Chris displayed some moves that he learned from MMA. Also, did you see how stiff his FDK Superkick on Shadowlove? Santiago wasn’t kidding around.”

“But wait! Santiago lost against both of them in the triple threat match. If he was such a big deal, then why he lost?” Black Onyx brought that out.

Max replied, “Well, let’s hear what Billy had to say. Roll it!”

The footage of Chris’s triple threat match on May 6 where Santiago was angry at Shadowlove for a roll-up pin win.

The footage ends.

Max went on to explain, “Technically it was a win for Shadowlove, but I called it desperate. He knew that he couldn’t handle Santiago’s strikes and submissions. He was scared that he could lose against him. It goes to show that Santiago is one legitimate professional and shoot wrestler, and also a mixed martial artist who can show the world what a real fighter is. And he will start with Alex Richards.”

“The former WCF Champion lost his belt to Teo Blaze at WCF: Endgame. What a shame. Not to mention how Alex got owned by Casey Holliday not once but TWICE!”

From Holliday’s promos, she stated that she defeated Richards back in the UCI days. Then she beat him again in his Action Wrestling return for the UCI Championship.

“Let’s not forget how Richards made a bad start in Action Wrestling. He had a great debut where he defeated Laura DaVoe in Championship Tournament Match on March 12 last year. But that’s it!” Max halted and prepared for a wave of insults. “Later he suffered losses the likes of Alexander Pasternak, Dionysus, Shadowlove, Donald Deruty, and Bishop.”

Black Onyx was surprised by it. “BISHOP OF ALL PEOPLE! How in the world did he lose to a mid-carder? TWICE!”

Max Eldritch reprimanded her, “Now, now, Richards did make a comeback by capturing the Television Championship in their triple threat match.”

Onyx wasn’t impressed, “Pfft… yeah. He won by pinfall on Rose after that Sanity Slip.”

Anyway, Eldritch continued narrating Richard’s career. “You felt that Action Wrestling wasn’t the right promotion for you. So you went to WCF, and I got to say. You have a great record there. But I’m not so sure when Noble Savage and James Wolf stole a win from you. Hm…”

Onyx gave another comment, “The only thing you are great is to be a proud member of the Guardians and become a tag team partner with Odin Balfore. That’s how you spend half of your tenure there in WCF.”

Max Eldritch continued, “Later this year April 8, you went back to Action Wrestling with something that you can prove to Holliday. That was until you lost against her. Well, I wouldn’t call it a great match. There’s a difference between your loss against Holliday and Santiago’s loss in a triple threat match. Santiago’s lost was out of desperation from his opponents while you got beat clean by Holliday.”

“Perhaps he was not in Casey Holliday’s level. But will he beat Santiago in the upcoming match? Preposterous! And here’s why. Tell them, Onyx.”

Onyx flipped the pages on her clipboard containing Richard’s information.

“It was no doubt that you had multiple championships in your resume, Richards. And yet you managed to reach both 2015 Trilogy Cup and King of Trios in the semi-finals. Santiago did it better: 2019 Shooter Ball Tournament Winner and 2019 Heritage Cup Winner. He can even beat you in a shoot and a strong style wrestling game.”

Footages from the courtesy of MLWA Studios and Union Battleground showed how Santiago won the tournament. At the Shooter Ball Tournament, Santiago beat Michael Hayden in the first round with a head kick, then Aveline Blondeau in semi-finals via judge’s decision, and Schadenfreude in finals with another head kick for a knockout. At the Heritage Cup, he defeated Declan Black with a Feugo kick, then Chris Constantine Jr via disqualification then James Edwards with another Feugo kick.

“Meanwhile you lost your WCF Heavyweight Title to Teo Blaze on May 11th, Santiago won the Jr. Heavyweight Championship against James Edwards at MAX-Japan a week later.”

From the courtesy of ENSOU! TV network, Santiago came victorious against his rival, James Edwards after that scissored armbar.

“Don’t think that just because he’s a Jr. Heavyweight, you can annihilate him. Think of the “heavyweights” that tried to defeat Chris but failed.”

Eldritch began to recall some of Santiago’s heavyweight opponents.

“Dark Tiger: 305 lbs.” Onyx responded, “FAILED!”

“Evander Cage: 221 lbs.” “FAILED!”

“Apex Onyx: 330 lbs.” “FAILED!”

“Titan Jax: 322 lbs.” “FAILED!”

“And that’s only from Action Wrestling. There are a lot of more heavyweights he faced outside of the promotion. No wonder that the Spanish analysts remarked Chris Santiago as a fearsome fighter against any weight class,” Max Eldritch commented while quoted from the said analysts addressing thoughts on his performance at EUROPA RUSH.

“Plus, let us remind you how you got owned by Holliday, Richards. TWICE! A 125-pound competitor quashed the fuck out of a 325-pound wrestler. It indicated that being a heavyweight couldn’t make you a winner,” Black Onyx added.

“But it didn’t stop there, Richards.” Max Eldritch uttered as he continued. “You are all-rounder, and Santiago was a long-range striker and close-range submission artist. But you don’t have a chance to beat him in any way. Tell him, Onyx.”

Onyx explained, “Being an all-rounder meant that you are versatile, which is good if you want to be safe. However, being balanced encouraged mid-level skill meaning you don’t have enough depth to overcome Santiago’s stiff strikes and submission. Keep in mind that he was an aggressive striker who is not hesitating to beat you. In short, Santiago has more depth on his strikes and submissions than you are. You could’ve focused more on becoming a technical wrestler or a powerhouse. At least, you have a 50% chance against him.”

“Well said!” Eldritch remarked. “Richards, you failed to make a good impression in Action Wrestling. You FAILED to channel your performance from WCF to Action Wrestling. (And no! Hajeet and Johnny Malvia didn’t count. Everyone can beat both of them.) And soon, you will witness how Santiago can beat you in every way: tournaments, championship, and fighting tactics.”

Max stood tall while he was confident that Chris Santiago could win this. “On May 20, the King of Mass Confusion will soon become the King of the Confused. And he will see to it when Chris Santiago shows what a real wrestler can do in the ring.”

The promo ended.

It was Angelina’s night time, everyone but the little girl warmed themselves with hot chocolate. Black Onyx and Max Eldritch were sitting in front of their trailer facing Chris’ storage truck. Eldritch afforded the mobile home back when he fetched Lolo Tasyo, Isidra, and Paco to their group. He bought it as Chris’ wish for more privacy.

Meanwhile, Marina was on chores washing the plates inside the trailer. She glanced at Angelina sleeping on the bed like a log. As Marina looked back to her task, she noticed that one of their plates is missing. Marina recalled where was that misplaced dishware. After a few minutes, she finally remembered.

“Tingnan ko nga kinain ni Chris yung niluluto ko.” (I wonder if Chris ate the dish that I cooked for him.)

Marina went outside and checked on Chris’ storage truck. As she sauntered closer to the vehicle, it came to her surprise. The dish that filled with vegetables, potatoes, and the meat was half-eaten. Now it was covered with maggots and ants staining the cuisine with dirt.

Chris, why?












Get out of my head.




































Get out of my head.